The Space In Between
by gypsywoman1
Summary: SEQUEL to Feel So Numb. /Disclaimer/We do not own Supernatural.
1. Chapter 1

**Sequel to Feel So Numb**

**We do not own Supernatural, we are only using the characters for fun. Neither do we own any lyrics used in the story, nor do we claim to. They belong to their rightful owners and is only used to help describe a scene and used as a rarity. FULL story is Rated M for language, sex and violence. Anything else, for all you readers that are a fan of the first and have continued onward to this sequel, please enjoy. :)**

**-Wynter & Tori**

_**1 week after the events of Feel So Numb.  
>February 8th, 2009 2:18 PM Day Before Full Moon<strong>_

He wouldn't come out of the panic room. Sam could leave at any time he wanted really but he placed himself in there without Dean or Bobby forcing him. It wasn't that hard to tell that they didn't trust him especially since Dean saw just a little of Sam using his power to kill Lilith at the end. Especially because of Sorcha. He'd rather stay in a tight cold space then somewhere warm and welcoming. Instead of somewhere large and happy. He didn't deserve to be happy.

_I've done very bad things. I betrayed Von. I cheated on Von with Alex and Ruby. I drank blood again and used my powers. I abandoned Von multiple times and some of them aren't even physically but emotionally as well._

Sam stared at the floor, tears dry on his cheeks but he knew that they'd continue to come. He could have stopped everything, he could have not given in to Ruby and she was so convincing and he was vulnerable to get sucked into those lies. He could have prevented Von's death and Alex's too if he had paid more attention and did exactly what Dean and Von had said. He should have listened but he didn't. Stupid, one minded and blind.

Hearing footsteps up above he glanced at the door that was closed though not locked. He didn't dare eat yet he knew he had to when Bobby yelled at him. The elder hunter was right, if he didn't eat he'd get out of control with him being a werewolf and they wouldn't be able to handle that. There was no way he could forget that if he tried, even with the full moon being so damn close. It was tomorrow and Von wasn't there to help him. Wasn't there to take on some of the pain but it'd be okay. It was his third full moon and the pain was lessened sure, but Von still wasn't there.

_I failed. Von should still be here. Alex should still be here too but they both are dead. I failed and I shouldn't be allowed to be happy, nothing._

Blinking as tears came back he closed his eyes and his shoulders shook as the wave came crashing on him. "I'm so sorry Von...and I know you can't hear me and aren't here...I feel so horrible. I'm so damn sorry and I can't take any of it back." 

888

Bobby walked from the desk to the kitchen to grab another bottle from his stash. He had loved and cared for Alex and Von like they were his own daughters. It hurt like the wound of losing his wife. Deep and constantly tearing back open to bleed and throb with aching clarity. Stopping just at the liquor cabinet he placed his hand on the wood while the other rested on the counter to hold him in place as he hung his head. He wouldn't cry yet it was so hard to not to. The boys were torn apart, far and hard lost to the sorrow that they were all hit with. Two losses that were both family and loved ones.

He was aware of what Alex had done, how could he not have been? It wasn't something he was proud of her but they all had their dark moments and he had forgiven her. For them to both die...how was that right? They were left with little to no explanation, except for maybe when Dean had informed them about the angels plan with Lucifer and Sam actually opening the cage he was trapped in. And what Castiel had to say about Alex being the necessary 2nd Seal to be broken before Lilith had to be the 1st. Why was she a seal? Too many questions, not enough answers to fill their cups labeled 'satisfied'.

Standing straight, he went to complete the task of gathering another bottle, succeeding and closing the cabinet he turned back to go to his desk, tearing off the wrapper to the cap as he did so. With a precarious and lazy toss he didn't care that it landed on the floor a long distance away from the garbage can. His heart went out to Sam and Dean. They were both dealing with this a lot harder than he was, but that was not to say he wasn't hitting the liquor and pit of despair any less.

Coming around the desk and to his seat he didn't go slowly or as preparing for the impact as he normally did. Instead he let the fates deal with his body as it landed with a thud and the air released from the chair before he officially sank. Rubbing his beard and down his face as he blinked to ward off any sleep...none of them had gotten much sleep as it only brought nightmares and more heartache. Trent was nowhere to be found as he disappeared the moment Bobby received the call. It was as if he couldn't handle it and needed to get away from everyone. The elder didn't blame him. No one was around anyone unless it was for the sake of necessity: eating.

Glancing down at the phones that had been silent almost as if the hunters were praying in their beds, worried that if they even made a sound to the elder that the world would end or a more likely thing for their heads to get yelled off by one drunk and not in the mood Singer. Everyone knew about Sam's mistake. Everyone. News traveled fast and trust died even faster. He uncapped the bottle, poured the liquid into his glass and set it off to the side not ready to seal it back up as he knew he'd keep going at it like Dean was no doubt doing with the rest of the cabinet god knew where. Bobby wasn't thinking about keeping track of the boys lately, only Sorcha appeared to be seen every now and then coming from either outside or the upstairs. She'd sit by him a little but always return to someone else who needed her. Never Sam though.

_Poor boy got himself into a heap of shit he can't fork his way out of. And that poor dog is the one layin more on that heap._

Bringing his hazy orbs up with the glass he stopped mid drink before finishing it with a sigh at the sight of one familiar angel. He couldn't be too mad at this angel as Dean had also mentioned that Castiel was the one to bring him to the convent, albeit a little late than liked but he still did. He went against orders and couldn't go back in fear of whatever the others would do to him. So he'd been off and on and staying with them as well, more so in the tool shed than in the actual house. Bobby wasn't that friendly to give him boarding.

The angel stared at the hunter and didn't have anything to say as usual. He too remained silent in fear that he'd make matters worse. Hunted. The angels knew where he was but so far they weren't coming after him. They had many chances and none of them were taken. Something was happening or they were in fact a little too smug with themselves to completely follow through with one simple hunt. It's not like Castiel was doing anything. He was trying to find signs of where Lucifer was as to keep tabs but so far there was nothing. It was the knowledge that they should care that the Apocalypse was upon them and that at any moment the world would end as they know it.

There was one thing that was important that Castiel did know about and that was the Michael sword. One thing that would defeat Lucifer and that too he was looking for as well. He had to admit he wasn't as lazy as he thought he was being and the others were he had no doubt. And he had run into maybe one or two of his brothers and sisters, fighting them and succeeding in making it out alive. The Michael sword was simply non-existent from the findings yet it must be out there. Somewhere.

Walking away into the kitchen, the angel headed towards the backdoor. Disappearing to the sound of heavy wings and his trench coat to return to the tool shed where he could continue to contemplate where to go next, what to do next and how to still work on the line of duty. Sooner or later the three in the Singer house were going to have to fall into that same line once more. Castiel would have placed them there sooner as a preference but would rather not get his wings clipped off.

Bobby sniffed and swallowed once the angel left. He knew that Castiel meant well and that their grieving would have to come to a necessary end. But at the moment he couldn't seem to care. Right now as far as he was concerned, the world could come to an end tomorrow or the day after and so on and so forth. The more they wound up living till the next sunrise, the more he didn't expect much to happen. The more he drank and the more he sunk into his favorite desk chair.

888

_'So, so you think you can tell  
>Heaven from Hell,<br>Blue skies from pain.  
>Can you tell a green field<br>From a cold steel rail?  
>A smile from a veil?<br>Do you think you can tell?' _

The empty bottle rolled from Dean's numb fingers and he blindly reached for another knowing he had to have one stashed away somewhere beneath the seat. Hazel-green eyes red and swollen from alcohol and tears he smashed his fist against the steering wheel of the Impala when he couldn't find the whiskey. Gripping the door handle he pulled and pushed falling out onto the snow-covered ground in nothing but his shirt and jeans. Stumbling to his feet his boots crunched towards the house and he reached the first stepped before he had to lean over and throw up, catching some at the end and swallowing it back down.

Spitting the taste out his foot caught on the second last step and he stumbled onto the porch having to pick himself up again not caring that he had torn a huge hole in the knee of his jeans and bloodied his knee. Alcohol would fix that, it would fix everything. Sorcha followed behind Dean, there if needed, grieving in her own silent way but managing to stay strong for Bobby and Dean. Not Sam though, never Sam, she couldn't stand the sight of him and when she walked in on him touching some of Von's things she had bitten him and it was Dean that had to separate the two because no matter how hard Sam would hit her she would not let go and Sam nearly lost his hand because of it.

Trent left and Sorcha understood why, Trent's grief was his own and what good would it do sharing that with strangers who knew nothing about him. What good would it do to be around someone he wanted to kill for causing Von to die, it was better to leave and let them suffer long term for their sins instead of granting them the peace that death would bring. If Sorcha had thumbs she would have made sure that Sam stayed locked up in the basement where he belonged. He didn't deserve the luxury of freedom for as long as freedom would last until the end of the world mounted its toll on humanity.

Dean only came to the kitchen to grab more booze and then he would be gone again maybe to stare at Von's matte black '72 Nova or Alex's red '69 Camaro with the black racing stripes for hours on end again. They were out in the yard like some morbid memorium, they served as headstones since there were no graves because there were no bodies, they had been lost to St. Mary's convent in Ilchester, Maryland. Ripping open the foil and half the label Dean started to chug, losing the will to stand he didn't make it out of the kitchen, instead slumping against the counter by the stove to drink, using alcohol to drown in instead of sorrow. Sorcha sat by his side facing the entrance to the kitchen and welcomed his clumsy hand as it began to pet her.

Bobby glanced at Dean as he came in and when the boy went to the floor he wanted to go and comfort him. The man was nothing but a shell of what used to be and he hated to say that he was supporting a part of a lifestyle that was becoming too easy to fall into being the Winchesters. Being hunters. This time though, it was different. Sure when Sam had died that was really hard and nothing could top that in the sense of a family member, but it was different when it came to love. When it came to relationships because it made that pain stay longer. The memories of happiness no longer memories but haunting slide shows forever repeating in one's head.

Swallowing, he knew too well. Sam was blaming himself, and hell Bobby wanted to blame him because he was partly to blame, but he wasn't the full reason. Alex had chosen to go with Ruby, chosen to be on that side of the fighting line because she thought the same things Sam did. That it would end suffering and be the better option without the others getting hurt. They all made foolish choices...a lot of those choices got people dead. Watching Dean as he pet Sorcha without even so much as thinking about it, it was a distraction, something to do while his mind wandered to dangerous and morbid places.

"Ya should get somethin' to eat. I'm not havin ya starve," Bobby said, standing up and heading into the kitchen, going to the fridge and opening it to see what he had. Finding some cold pizza it was going to have to do. Pulling that out he grabbed two slices before giving the box over to the hunter, laying it beside him as he knew that Dean wasn't about to grab it as an offering. "If ya don't I'll force feed ya..." A beat. "Mind seein' to that your brother eats as well. I'm goin' to try and...get some rest..."

The elder hunter moved towards the stairs, patting Sorcha on the head as he did, taking the bottle from his desk with him before he ascended the steps. He would try but he might as well take one of the sleeping pills he had for those special occasions when sleep came rare and few between.

Dean ignored the pizza; he hadn't eaten anything for the better part of the week, why would he start now. Alcohol filled his stomach and in his mind that was all he needed and wanted aside from the obvious. He sat there a good while longer letting the silence of the house consume him and his thoughts. The wind outside was shrill and harsh scratching against the house like a dead seagull; he listened to it crying as if it was trying to tell him something.

Unable to take much more of the sound, Dean climbed to his feet remembering to take the pizza with him. Trudging out of the kitchen he entered the hallway and descended the stairs into the basement surprisingly sure footed. Time to feed the monster only because he had to otherwise the six foot four beast would become ravenous and less human.

_Like there's any human left in him,_ Dean thought as he opened the door with the toe of his boot and let it swing back to reveal his brother to him.

"Food," his gravelly voice announced and he unceremoniously tossed the box into the room to land on the floor, eyeing the state of Sam with his apathetic blood shot eyes.

Dean leaned against the door as he chugged down more whiskey and wiped his wet lips on the back of his hand that held the bottle. Sam was going to turn furry tomorrow and if he got out Dean just might have the alcohol-induced nerve to shoot him. He had never said it out loud and probably never would but this whole mess was Sam's fault and he knew that Sam knew it too. Alex made her own choices and he couldn't blame Sam for that, it wouldn't have made it any easier.

It wasn't easy to begin with, Sam had betrayed everyone and gotten the second love of his life killed because of his selfish arrogance. Because of it Dean had a hard time keeping eye contact with Sam, he couldn't deal with staring at his little brother and what he had become. The little brother he swore to look out for had ripped his heart out and stomped on it, after everything he turned his back on his family, trusting a demon over his own brother and over the one woman who might have been his soul mate.

Sam continued to stare at the floor, he knew his brother was giving him that look as he leaned, drank and watched. The one that said it was his fault and everything and more. He couldn't take that, the silence and that look and he placed his head in his hands, silent tears falling and his shoulders shook. It wasn't the matter that he didn't want Dean to see, it was the matter that he couldn't control it. He didn't care anymore if they saw. Sam even wondered why Dean didn't kill him. He should have. And maybe if he had the guts he'd do it to himself, walk out and grab a silver loaded gun and put it right at his heart and...

"Thanks," he said, bringing his face away and wiping away the tears.

_Kill me Dean. I know you want to. Why don't you just do it? Then that way the world would be better without me there to possibly screw it up again. You'd be happier! Like some form of justice for what I've done. DO IT! I'm a monster._

"Lock me in Dean and don't feed me anymore."

_Ignoring a rule of thumb by Bobby. I don't want to eat. I don't deserve to eat. Maybe I should just become the animal that I am. That way I could be on display for all the hunters that pass through, showcase and say that 'this is Sam the one that got two hunters killed and freed the Devil from his cage'. Who wants to take a shot? Five bucks and you get to take me home and skin and mount on the wall. I'm only ever good on the wall as someone's coat._

Bringing his head up when Dean took another swig he growled, knowing his brother wasn't going to disobey feeding him. "I said lock the door and don't feed me anymore. Now go. Leave me alone."

Sam stood and took the food that Dean had given him, tossing it back at the hunter and knew that he looked like a wreck. Sorcha didn't care. Why would Dean care? Why should anyone care? This time instead of disguising it he fell to his knees, hands going to the bed as another wave hit him. Von. She would have cared. She would have cared a great deal if he died or starved. She was dead. It was his fault. Yet there was one thing he knew that Dean would never do despite the thought...that was kill him. Death would be a sweet release and maybe even bring him to Hell to suffer. But living on earth and having his own neglect from everyone around him and personal Hell with how he was treating himself was the type of thing death could not satisfy.

"Oh god Von..." he whispered. "I'm sorry..."

Overhearing Sam, Dean's chest ached in a way that alcohol wouldn't be able to chase away, he might have been blind drunk but he wasn't deaf. Sam's crying reminded him of a four-year old Sammy who had fallen and scraped his knee, Dean had been there for him to pick him up and dust him off. As much as his chest ached he couldn't be there for Sam like he used to be. A band-aid and some bacteria wipes wouldn't fix this. Dean's face hardened and he threw the pizza back into the panic room not caring when the box flew open and pizza landed all over the floor. If Sam got hungry enough he could lick it off the concrete, Dean watched on as Sam sobbed in a tiny little ball as he drank.

Sorcha watched as well, accompanying Dean in case Sam became a problem, she was able to empathize with Sam but was still far too angry to lend him any comfort. The wounds of betrayal were deep and would not soon heal. Dean gripped the door and put his weight behind it to slam it closed, cranking the handle to lock it tight. If Sam wanted to be locked up then he would get his wish, they could tranquilize him to put more food in or get Castiel to angel zap it in there. Without Von Bobby would have to werewolf proof the room or maybe Castiel would know a way to reinforce the vent and door to keep Sam locked up safe and tight. Dragging his feet up the stairs Dean dropped to the couch in the study drinking himself to unwanted sleep.

888

Hearing the door slam, hearing him go back up the stairs, he ignored the food. Though the smell was enough to make his mouth water he wouldn't eat it. If he wanted to eat it, he'd eat it when he was in wolf form no doubt as the hunger wouldn't be able to be ignored yet he liked to think he could still hold off on it. Turning his head to the pizza he willed it to disappear. That was another thing. He had been so pumped up on demon blood that already he had been feeling the withdrawl of it. So it made his hunger worse and made it so then he was just a tad irritable.

Pizza, normal food, wasn't what he was really hungry for. It was the blood or blood in general, things were starting to mesh and he wasn't sure which anymore. Lying down on the concrete flooring he closed his eyes, wished to at least get some sleep, opening them he without thought rushed over to the food, picking it up and eating it, whether it was contaminated or not. Sam growled and tore into it, stuffing his mouth full of it needing more and his orbs amber as he chewed and swallowed.

A howl rippling from his throat to echo in the room, sliding up through the fan and into the night. His eyes staring at it and he swore he could see the moon despite that it was still light outside, despite that it was still far away from night approaching. He huffed and went back to his meal, the noise drifting up and sounding as if a wild animal was feasting on its prey.

888

Dean woke from his discomforting slumber at Sam's howl and he rubbed his bloodshot eyes open pushing himself up into a sitting position. Sitting quietly he listened and could faintly hear the sounds of eating, Dean knew he would eat because even though a distressed animal may shy away from food sooner or later the hunger would become too much, Dean didn't know that much about wolves but he knew a dog would never starve itself to death. A werewolf was no exception because their hunger knew no limits, they were all the best parts of a wolf and all the worst parts of a human melded into a perfect monster.

Another thought that Dean would never speak aloud was that maybe they were wrong when they didn't kill Sam, the moment he was infected they should have. Dean scrubbed his hand down his face and kept it there, fresh tears squeezing from his eyes without cause. He swallowed down hard and took in a shaky breath wanting another round of burning alcohol to make an excuse for the tears staining his cheeks. The whiskey scalded his throat and he wiped the dribble off his chin, there would come a time when the alcohol wouldn't do so much as give him a buzz until then he would drink whenever it suited him. It was likely destroying his liver but it wasn't like he had hopes to live past fifty anyway.

888

Sam finished eating. Licking the floor and his fingers clean along with the box it came in. It wasn't enough to fully sate him and the moment the hunger subsided, he just held onto being a wolf. He knew very well that he could change a day before the full moon and still be affected but the moon wouldn't be able to force him if he was already willing to accept that form. Beginning to undress, he piled the clothes off to the side before he let the changes take place. His spine rippling and it was painful, crying as he did so. It was different changing without Von there to take some of it which meant it hurt a lot more than the other times.

Finally in the form he wished to be in he began to eat the left over portions his body left behind. Licking his lips, he whimpered and curled into a ball, his mouth opening a little to let out the whimpers more. It hurt more being in this form, maybe that was why he had did this ahead of time. He could still be hurt by the moon when it happened even being in this form tomorrow night. But it hurt because the pain was still there and the knowledge of being a wolf that his mate was now gone. Mate's were meant to be forever mourned. His mouth opened more and the whimper turned into a small yelps in succession before quieting back to whimpers and a small howl.

Glancing at the door he knew that Dean could hear him and he wished he didn't have to. Sam couldn't control his emotions and how sad he felt as it overtook him. It was worse than hunger and it was worse than smelling blood and needing to have it. Which is why he wasn't falling into the deep pit of hunger for blood as he should have been. The sadness was too much, but eventually even that would little itself and he'd be overrun with the sensation. Closing his eyes silent tears fell from the corners and down the fur on his face to the concrete.

888

Dean wanted to shout down, stomp his boot anything to get Sam to shut up like he was yelling at a dog that was acting up he'd even take a pot shot at whipping the whiskey bottle at his younger brother's head. He had heard him change and wanted to throw up from all the sounds, at least he wasn't witness to it this time he wasn't sure he could stomach the sight of Sam's flesh splitting and falling off to give way to a hulking fur covered monster underneath.

Standing he had to get out of the house away from the animal sounds of sorrow and pain otherwise he'd be led down a rash and regretful path. The cold that had picked up bit into his skin like razor wire and for a while it was better than Sam's howls of agony and pain. Blindly wondering through the yard with Sorcha at his side he let more tears fall, the tiny droplets freezing into crystals on his eyelashes and cheeks.

Alex would be there teasing him, calling him a girl, well the old Alex would, the new one that liked to try to rape everyone would probably try to fuck him out here in the frigid cold to make him feel better. In the state he was in he'd be ready to take her either way, Dean would rather Alex was alive to be yelled at and to fight with than dead and mourned. And he'd take Von too, alive and fiery so she could beat the crap out of Sam for what he had done.


	2. Chapter 2

**February 9th, 2009  
>Minutes before the full moon<strong>

Sam shook where he was curled, he had remained in the same wolf form all of last night and today. Not wanting to feel too human right now as he indeed felt and deserved to be the animal he had become. At least in his opinion it was somewhat justice. He knew that Bobby, Castiel, Sorcha and Dean was outside the panic room since they were breathing heavily enough. They were all waiting for the moment the moon struck him, the change would be bad and they had tried feeding him today but to no avail it just sat there in the room. This time he hadn't given in.

Feeling the moon begin to rise he whimpered, the touch of her hand brushing along his fur whispering to him, wondering why he had chosen to change so soon. A female touch made him flinch and he yelped, standing and running to the other side of the room, away from the door and out of the light of the fan. Blinking scared amber orbs, he could almost see the moon smiling at him, shaking her head and laughing with care. A child that simply didn't know what to do. She was his mistress now, somehow she was willing to accept him and that shouldn't have been right. That wasn't.

_I'd rather die than be welcomed by another woman._

A growl left him, his teeth bared and his lips back and twitching as he barked and growled with spittle coming from his mouth. Biting out at the air, before he turned his head sharply, going into a crouch he stared at his tail flicking back and forth and went for it. Gaining purchase he bit hard and could taste blood, releasing it with a yelp he didn't know why he was doing that. Attacking his body, Sam did it once more this time to his own paw and he yelped, backing up and hitting the wall with a loud clang.

Howling in pain and sorrow he fell to his side and his bones shifted, becoming larger as now he wasn't fully in the form of a werewolf, not the one the full moon wanted him to be. Becoming larger and more beastly, breaking him, his voice came out for one second to scream when it showed his face morphing out and back into the wolf before it drifted back in to the howl. Paws growing bigger, his claws cutting out with force making blood seep out only to hurriedly flow back in. He moved onto his feet once more only to kick out one leg at a time as the limbs popped and rejoined. Rolling his head he cried, unable to really act out like he normally would being a human. He did this. He did this to himself for a reason and without Von it was so much worse.

Von normally helped take it on, quell the pain so it wasn't this severe and yet he had been missing out the past times. The moon was simply showing him exactly what he missed and that he never had the right to miss what she had to give. Not even her wolf's mate was allowed to and now that the mate was dead, it gave her plenty of free reign. Sam didn't know why he thought of the moon as a her, as an entity but that's what he felt. Kind of a lost and lonely spirit, beautiful and luminescent but powerful beyond comparison to any other beautiful figure. Once the changes ceased, he snapped his head up.

_This is new._

Bringing his head towards the door where the others were watching through the peephole he growled and bounded towards the door running into it and barking into their faces, putrid breath and spit all in there. Having a barking competition with Sorcha, Sam fully welcomed that wolf side of him. Backing up he circled the bed and kept eyes on them, ones that said to leave him alone as they also glittered with more tears. Curling back into his ball to register the larger aspects of his full moon enhanced wolf form, the pain that still lingered and cringing away from the moon that he still felt as he then began to whimper once more. As he began to think of Von once more and what he did. How much he doused two lives but continued to destroy those still alive around him.

_I'm nothing but a monster..._

_"Monster!"_

He closed his eyes slowly, feeling worn and torn he drowned himself into the slumber that had purposefully been avoided for fear of what he'd see, for fear of who he'd see...whether it be Von or Moriarty. It was still a strong fear.

"What in the hell Bobby?" Dean slurred gruffly peeping into the hole at the gargantuan werewolf that was asleep in the room.

He was either seeing things because he was more drunk than he had probably ever been in his life or Sam was way, way bigger than the last time he had seen him change. Whatever the reason it was enough to put him to sleep and give them all some peace for as long as they could get it, whatever peace was these days. Dean watched the werewolf breathe, huge lungs rising and falling under thick fur and thicker muscles.

"What do you want me to say? Sorry I'm not the expert of werewolves especially Loup Garou's," Bobby replied staring at the enlarged werewolf named Sam. He too was just as shocked as Dean and even more so questioning his own alcohol-induced brain.

"Without Von here, the moon can have the full effect on him that it never could," Castiel simply answered. "They had a connection deep enough that he would take some of her pain and the amount it would be placed on her as well as she could do the same for him."

The elder hunter stared at the angel with a little bit of anger. How dare he mention Von's name or even Von in general, but at the same time, he understood where the angel was coming from. He was trying to help and explain to them what was going on. The reason for Sam's heightened stature and burst of wildness that he had never had when he first turned. Von had really been Sam's shield. Which left him questioning, just how much Sam was shielding from them on what Von was capable or what she was becoming.

"Thanks for that Cas," Dean grumbled sarcastically and stepped back from the door with a shake of his head.

Palming his face he let out a heavy sigh, now would be a good time to throw some more food in there since Sam was sleeping. Dropping his puffy blood shot eyes to Sorcha who was still riled up with angry eyes and a ridge on her back that just wouldn't go away he turned and stumbled towards the deep freeze. Grunting in annoyance when he dropped his bottle of booze he let it lie so he could pull out a flank of beef for his wolfed out brother.

"You're welcome," Castiel replied.

Bobby rolled his eyes; leave it to Dean to be sarcastic to the one angel that sarcasm didn't even register. Opening the door to allow Dean to toss it in, he saw him struggling and was thinking about mentioning it but really he'd be setting himself up for his own mourning ways and drinking. So he remained silent. Closing the door once he was done and had gone back to his bottle, the elder glanced at his clock on the wall downstairs and they still had a while before the moon would go down and even then they weren't entirely sure Sam would change back.

_He's tryin' to make a point to himself and us. Sam is wrong, an idjit yes, but wrong._

888

Moriarty sat on the cot in the panic room cross legged cradling a small white fox that's fur gave off a slight copper hue while his other hand scratched the top of it's head. The animal had its eyes closed like a content cat apparently perfectly at home in the demons arms. Opening its eyes they were dark, almost chocolate amber and they held wisdom in them beyond that of an animal. Moriarty continued to pet the fox, massaging its neck and he looked down at it affectionately while he spoke.

"I can leave if you like and you can be haunted by your guilt in the guise of Von, the last moments you had with her your fondest memories of her." Moriarty set the fox down and it tip toed over with petite black socked paws to the edge of the cot to watch over Sam it's plush coppery white tail wrapping over it's feet. The demon was not his usual jolly self yet he held no contempt towards Sam in his eyes or gestures, Von had to die that was part of her destiny and the grand plan.

He swallowed. "It would be a better punishment but I think we both know that you'd rather have a go at me. I don't blame you. I would too if I was in your position."

Sam turned his head to stare at the demon and then flicking to the fox. He remembered that fox, the one that had led him to Von in his dream once. Where she was buried alive and he had to save her. He furrowed his brows and had to look away, sadness taking over. The tears wouldn't leave. Would they ever leave? Probably not and he didn't expect anything more or less. Trying to blink them away they still came and he let them flow but wouldn't give Moriarty the satisfaction of hearing him or even seeing them.

"I screwed up. You were right about Ruby and I should have listened hard and closely. I should have never denied Von and kept so many secrets from her. Never abandoned her for what I thought was right when it obviously wasn't. Go ahead and tell me the rest as I already what more you can say."

Moriarty gazed steadily at Sam with dusky orange eyes. "You have enough guilt in your heart without me driving more nails into it my dear and noble Samuel. Von did not walk blindly to her death in order to stop your self righteous madness, she knew her fate the moment you left her and she went anyway."

The demon wasn't here to put Sam's heart or mind at ease, he was to watch over Sam now that Von was gone. He couldn't protect the werewolf in the same ways Von had but he could give him guidance and perhaps prevent him from making any further world changing mistakes. Freeing Lucifer was a necessary evil to pave the way for other important events to take place. Moriarty watched silently as the fox stood and jumped off the bed without making a sound and walking over to Sam who was trying to hide in a corner that didn't exist in a round room.

It reached up to lay a tiny black paw on Sam's knee as if to say, 'it's okay big wolf, I'm here' as its pointy eared head tilted up to search for his eyes. Moriarty's eyes softened, the fox was the only part of Von to survive but Moriarty didn't want to ruin the moment by mentioning a word. The fox was trying to befriend the wolf showing him some mercy and kindness where others would not.

Feeling something on his knee he brought his eyes to the fox that was staring at him. If he didn't know any better it reminded him of Von ever so slightly. Sam sat up and allowed the fox to go into his lap as he began to pet it. He didn't want to be mean towards the fox even though he knew he didn't deserve the kindness. But it felt a little better knowing someone was at least caring for him and he buried his face into the body of the animal as he felt his heart break more. Bringing his face back up he blinked at Moriarty.

"That doesn't help. I was the reason for her actually choosing to go no matter how you put it. I left her and she came to that damn convent to stop me, to stop everything and I _am_ at fault for her dying. And Alex dying and Dean being mad at me and looking at me like I'm a monster. I am a monster. No person would do what I've done unless they were one," Sam said. "Being a werewolf just makes it easier for the title to be placed."

"Yes, you are a monster," Moriarty nodded in agreement, "and you are the one that freed the Devil from his cage in turn bringing on the end of the world but you cannot be responsible for anyone's choices but your own."

The little copper white fox licked the tears from Sam's face with her delicate pink tongue, rapid ticklish licks that resembled miniature kisses. Her plush tail swished and she cuddled into Sam her head snuggled under his chin with her ears flattened loosely against her head.

"Don't blame the animal for what you are, it makes nothing any easier than it's ever been whether it's your path or your title." There was a hint of anger in the demon's voice at Sam. "Others will see the werewolf and call you monster but that's not the reason why you are one Samuel and you know that, she knew you were one and she loved you more than her own life."

Licking his lips he gave a furrow of his brows. "Did you come here to bring me out of a hole or dig in deeper to the one I am in? Since when do you give a damn about me? I know you only cared about me in the concern for Von and I don't believe you if you even say that you have a general interest in me beyond Von's connection with me. She may have loved me more than her life, but I was willing to die for her to keep her safe. That's why I took the risks I did."

Sam let his hands fall from the fox, turning his head sharply to the side as he stood when the fox jumped off him. Walking over and up to Moriarty he let all that pain show in his face and didn't even think to hold it all back or the tears that continued to come.

"Just..." he paused, swallowing. "Just hurt me. Hurt me like all those you hurt or like you've never hurt someone before, leave nothing left...at least then I can deserve the real pain that goes with this. The real punishment that no one is willing to give me."

It was Moriarty's turn to furrow his brow. "No," he answered simply and maybe it was the demon side showing through. "There's nothing worse than the pain you are in now what I can give you would only be a distraction and soon you would need it like a drug just to get through your days, you already have an addiction one that you have yet to feel the full impact of." Von was the one that should have been here to punish Sam and if Moriarty accepted the responsibility it would fall to him to deal out the judgment. Sam was desperate, Moriarty could see that and he felt pity for the weeping werewolf in his cold-pitted heart. "Would it really make the loss of her any easier Samuel?"

Shaking his head he looked down, unable to look into Moriarty's eyes for too long. "No. Nothing would. Not even being a wolf for two nights and a whole day. Not even starving myself or depriving myself of sleep. Nothing makes it easier. In fact everything makes it harder. I want to die, I want to go back in time and erase what I did, take her place instead. Better yet just keep her away from that convent, keep us both away. But then that leaves Alex and Dean. What would have happened to them? And Ruby would still be alive and running around trying to worm her way into things and deceive."

Sam fell to his knees, staring at Moriarty's shoes before he brought his head up. He was pond scum, actually he was lower. He was the pus that infects the mucus, that crud's up the fungus that feeds on the pond scum.

"Then what was the point of this trip? What was the point of coming into my dreams if not to torment me? If not to torture me? Why? Why even make the hassle? Because if there is no reason then I'd like to wake up so then I can go back to my pain, my guilt and the downcast looks."

"Because she loved you and there is reason."

He picked up the fox and began to pet her, the little one needed a home and Moriarty could not be the one to take care of her. She had been in Von the one piece that remained and she was now homeless, if Sam could not accept this totem a desperate effort would be made to give the fox to Dean.

"You've become my concern since the moment you re-entered her life and now that's she's gone I'm willing to take you under my wing but not until you've come to understand that despite your assertions to the contrary you have yet to fully accept that you are a Loup-Garou. I want you to drown in what you are and what you've done through the eyes of the side you've fought so hard to control. There's so much fear in you Samuel, she can stay with you, you're own little moon and maybe then you won't fear the touch of the celestial maiden and you'll come to fully accept her embrace as your body already has."

888

Blinking awake, he yawned, tongue rolling out long and pink. He could tell that the moon had finally gone down which meant that he had been asleep for the rest of the night. Sam had actually slept and he hated that he felt better from it. That his body wasn't worn out from lack of it and that he wasn't feeling that sickness that came with no sleep and staying up for hours on end crying. The others had moved upstairs as he could hear them there, drinking, boozing it up like he couldn't. He couldn't leave this room, not until he was stable and even when he was close to it he might not be able to leave then. Or even want to. Where would he go?

_I'd probably try and go back to that convent so then I could look for Von's body. Look for Alex's as well so then we could give them a proper burial. I would go to a crossroads...try and make a deal. Would they even consider it? No. They wouldn't. Plus Von would kill me for doing that. Dean...he might not care._

Trying to turn back into human form, he figured it might be best but instead he found that he couldn't. His forehead shifted downwards as he stood and stretched, trying again during that time only finding he still couldn't. Was this Moriarty's doing? How? Outside the dream how could he have much power over him? Well, that brought back the memory of when he had brutally killed his Von doll that he had created out of sick amusement and god knows what other reason. Moriarty could do things that left him questioning.

Huffing, his eyes rested on the slab of meat that the others had left for him. Trotting over to it, he sniffed and licked, nudging before finally lying down, the meat in between his paws to hold it as his teeth tore into it. He needed to eat and though he was still hurting beyond any ER patient from a horrible accident or attempt, he could feel the calmness of being a wolf. Just doing what felt animal, what felt right. An escape.

_I don't deserve an escape._

He seemed to be using that word a lot. Deserve. Not deserving anything. Maybe this was what he did deserve. He wasn't sure entirely of what Moriarty had meant about 'having yet to fully accept that he is a Loup-Garou'. But he was going to stay this way until he could figure it out as well as the rest of what was said in that dream. Thinking while he ate he started to think of that fox, what it'd be like to chase without harming it of course, but to just play. Get some exercise and bark teasingly. Looking down he had finished his meal and cleaned himself before standing, going over to the bed that was there and hopping onto it. Sitting just so with his tail curled inwards towards his front, he stared at the door. Waiting.

_They are on rounds to watch me._

Sam was still rather large but surprisingly had shifted to something new, something a little more like a real wolf, though huge, it wasn't like he usually was where it looked still human with werewolf growth, long limbs and the very noticeable features that signified that the monster was a human inside. No. Had it been the moon that had allowed this? He had his first full moon, but it had been sort of blocked fully, now Sam was more like a huge dog. Still wolf-like but-his nose twitched and his ear went back as he heard the footsteps.

Could he go for a walk if he begged? They could tie him to a leash so he didn't get away. Just in the salvage yard. So then he could sniff around and see Von's car. See what she left behind, roll around in there to gather her scent and continue his mourning. To just be there. He blinked and whined as the steps were slow and sluggish. Dean. It was Dean. His tail barely wagged but his ears went back as he continued to watch and wait.


	3. Chapter 3

**February 13, 2009 7:23PM  
>Three Days After Full Moon Cycle<strong>

"He's been that way since Monday, he's a Grizzly sized wolf Bobby...you think he's gonna be stuck like that since Von's dead?"

Dean scrubbed his hand over his face and tried to work a knot out of the back of his neck, he had a headache the size of Texas and the alcohol was barely making it better. The two hunters had decided to leave Sam in there not wanting to be duped into thinking that Sam would be a good puppy if they let him out which was obviously what he wanted now by his compliant behavior. Dean was a little worried because his werewolf brother also appeared to be sick, he'd pant until a viscous trace of foam formed around his mouth, he was prone to shakes and he kept biting at his fur like it was crawling with bugs. The raw slabs of meat appeared to help and Dean wasn't the only one wishing Von was still around to lend her expertise.

"Where the hell is Cas anyway, he has to know something?" Dean peeked into the hole and watched Sam's head perk up and the tip of his tail wag. He knew that look from seeing it on many a dog's face, the werewolf wanted to go out for a walk and if the situation was any different Dean might have granted Sam's request, he knew Von would have because Von loved her giant puppy.

"I don't know Dean and again, I don't know," Bobby replied, "I honestly have no answer. I'm just about in the blue as you are."

Glancing at the door and catching a glimpse of the brown werewolf with flecks of red and black in the coating stare at them all happy and ready. Hopeful. It was as if Sam had really become a dog instead of a ravenous beast and it wasn't even like Sam was really there at all. He could tell that he was though but the thoughts were overly dog-like that he shook his head. Sam had really lost himself, he had fallen into a dark hole and this was the product of that falling. Scrubbing his hand over his beard he sighed.

"Think we should at least let him out for a little walk? He might have to go bathroom and he can't keep goin' in there with the way it smells like I'm runnin' a zoo. Cas!"

The angel appeared without a moment's hesitance and brought his attention to the hunter that had called him. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"We need ya to explain the situation with Sam. How much do ya know about what's goin' on?"

Castiel moved over to where Dean was to get a good look. Sam hadn't turned back to human form, which was strange and he could see what they were fretting about. "He's learning to accept what he is as well as the withdrawal of demon blood that is in his system. From the tics you see him do that is the lack of what he hungers yet it appears that he's not as bad as I had thought he'd be. Might be the diet he's been on."

"Could it be that this is a way of copin'?" Bobby asked.

Stepping back at Dean's discomfort, his blank face focused on the question and answering it. "Possibly, but this could also be that he's been in this form for a while and forgotten that he is indeed human still in some structure and that might make it why he can't shift. Hypothesis not necessarily actually firm data."

Now it was Bobby's turn to stare back and blink like he was constipated. Turning to look at the wolf he could kind of see what Castiel was saying but it worried him. Hell he could tell it worried Dean. After all, even though Sam did something horrible, Sam was still his little brother and Dean was concerned for him. Sam on the other side in the other room listened, ears twitching at the voices and the new smells and continued to wag his tail. He was going to go outside. He hoped he was, maybe he was and maybe they'd let him. He'd be real good, he promised he would. Sam sniffed and opened his mouth appearing as if he was smiling as a bark escaped him. He waited panting with eyes wide, and excited.

A howl escaped him and slowly changed into a long whine and another bark followed as he stood. Stretching, letting one hind leg at a time stay in the air to gain the stretch needed before putting it back down and then walking forwards a tiny bit and then sitting down. Tail wagging once more and a third bark to boot.

Had Sam forgotten? Sorcha didn't want him to forget, why was he allowed and the others weren't, the pain was as sharp and clear as the day it happened and it always would be. Sorcha growled angrily at the door, she couldn't see Sam with it closed but she could smell him and his eagerness to be outside. The black dog looked expectantly at Dean, hoping he would see reason and not let the monster out of the box. He deserved to be in there unable to taste the fresh wind or feel the sun on his fur or to see the rich blue of the sky, what he deserved was to in there until he went mad and truly forgot who he was.

"Keep your fucking tail on!" Dean shouted at Sam kicking his boot against the door. He didn't know what to do, he was angry and drunk and still pissed at Sam and literally giving him puppy eyes wasn't going to help his case. Groaning he craned his head up searching the ceiling for an answer, Bobby was giving him that insistent look. "If he bites your face off don't come cryin' to me," he pointed accusingly at the elder hunter and glared at the angel before stalking up the stairs in an angry huff.

Sam's ears went back and his went low, tail stopping at Dean's outburst and he ran over to the left side of the room to remain against the wall. He'd go bathroom in the bucket again, but he didn't guarantee he'd be a good aim like he hadn't been the rest of the time. Bobby peered in through the peephole. He couldn't let Sam out, he wanted to but it appeared that Dean wasn't any happier and Sorcha was about as tight as an asshole with digestive problems. Closing it he moved to the stairs and Castiel stared at him confused.

Walking up behind him and to the main floor, Bobby headed straight into the living room where Sorcha and Dean were stationed. "Now hold up Dean. Same with ya Sorcha. I know ya both are pissing on Sam's tail till he breaks a new one and decides that maybe life ain't so dandy and that dyin' would be a lot more of a thrill ride and the only answer to his problems. To both ya problems but this is my god damn house and he's your god damn brother Dean. And Sorcha, do ya think Von would accept your attitude? I don't think so ya idjit and I most certainly am not acceptin' it either. From now on, instead of actin' like terrorists, here's a thought and a new rule from yours truly..." He paused as the last line he was preparing for was full of a huge bucket of anger. "Try to be more considerate and think of those ya lost, what they would want and not being so damn selfish to bully on yourselves and Sam. I may not be the best role model for drinkin' and batterin' my self to an all time low. But realizin' somethin' while watchin' the two of ya has made me glad that I haven't fallen that far. That Alex and Von aren't here to witness this horse shit."

Stalking towards the door he opened it and gestured with his hand as he continued. "If ya can't handle that, then maybe ya don't deserve Sam. Maybe ya never deserved Von and Alex. And maybe ya don't deserve my hospitality."

"Bobby," Dean sounded as if the hunter was the one being unreasonable and closed his eyes as he bowed his head warring with his anger and his want to accept that Bobby was right.

He hated that the hunter always had a way of getting to him, even in his drunken state where being rational wasn't a priority. Sorcha considered Bobby's words and her ears flattened sadly against her head as she looked to the floor, the hurt was still too fresh but the elder's words rang true. Von would never wish Sam to be left alone in his misery, Von would stay with him with the world falling down around them whether it was his fault or not. She wouldn't be able to make it easy on him though that wasn't her style, she would constantly be testing him. And if he had forgotten what he had lost she would make him remember.

"I need time to think," Dean stood and grabbed his coat exiting out of the door Bobby had opened and disappearing into the yard. He was mad at everything and needed to let off some steam, bringing up Alex and Von like that made him feel lower than the dirt under his boots and he knew he was being harsh on Sam but how could he not be, maybe in time he could let it go, maybe.

The elder watched the hunter go and he sighed, bone weary and not in the mood. Dean knew better than to talk back to him when he knew that Bobby was right. So he shut the door, leaving it unlocked for Dean and that if he didn't come back within a certain space of time he was going to search for him. Going to his desk he sunk down into his chair, his eyes traveling the area before landing on Sorcha. Relaxing, it was evident on how tired he was. Tired of all the fighting, of all that was going on and what they were doing was just adding onto everything. He was right, and his words were definitely the hard truth but it didn't mean that he felt great about it.

They were all down in the dumps and going through so much. He worried it made things worse, but hoped he made them a bit better. Patting his leg, he motioned her over. "Come here girl," he said and when she tentatively did so he leaned over and began to pet her with two hands, running along her face and under the ears to give a good petting. "I'm sorry for yellin' at ya. Ya know why I had to. Now do ya think ya can do somethin' for me? I'm goin' to run an errand and I need your nose to get the job done. Cas!"

He had completely forgotten that the angel had been in the room during his lecture and he jumped when he looked up to find him still standing in the room. Quite and blending. "You want me to watch over Dean and Sam."

"Yeah. I'll be back as soon as I can. Make sure that nothin' bad happens, Sam gets fed when needed and that Dean gets back safe, if he doesn't get back in an hour or a half an hour then go lookin'," Bobby said, standing up and grabbing his keys to head for his truck, whistling to Sorcha to follow before he exited the house to run a hunting errand. Maybe he could find some answers and get a fellow hunter to do some dirty work with the situation they were in.

888

Dean faced the girls' cars, eyes on Alex's the longest; he hated those damn racing stripes. Wiping at his face he blinked, sniffed then found he hadn't brought out a bottle with him. Letting it go he leaned against a stack of cars huddled into his jacket and let out a sigh though it was more like a sob then his eyes flicked to the Nova. "I don't know what to do with Sam, it's only been a couple of weeks, I can't stop being mad at him and now he's turned and can't or won't turn back...I..." Dean swallowed and shook his head wiping more tears from his face with a swipe of his hand.

He missed them both and how things used to be before they became complicated and he wished that there was a way to bring them both back. There were ways a deal could be struck but which demon worth their sulfur would seal it, it was too soon to go through either Alex's or Von's things to know if they had a way out of death. Blinking Dean stared at Von's car, was it too soon to go through their things, wouldn't Von have something, didn't she mention a spell that could really bring someone back? A light bulb went on over Dean's fogged up brain and he staggered over to the matte black Nova, finding the door unlocked he opened the passenger side and crawled into the car to begin his search.

888

Castiel checked on Sam and he was still the same. Checking the clock as he waited awkwardly out of place in the Singer's household it wasn't even close to being a half an hour and so he couldn't go looking yet. Bringing his attention to things around the house he landed on the television and remembered being introduced to it once at a motel before he had to rescue Alex from Von's feeling that turned out to be right. The own agenda hunt. Sitting on the couch he stared at the remote and picked it up, recalling from watching one of the others turn it on and then flicking through channels before tilting his head slightly to the side as on the screen was a woman.

The story seemed opaque and completely useless until the pizza boy came. It didn't make sense why that livened the story. That is, him coming inside and waiting for the bill to be paid while she searched for her coin purse. Castiel sighed and about to change the channel to continue looking up things that's when he froze, face still blank and his eyes squinted ever so. "I have your tip right here," the woman spoke on the television.

The pizza boy widened his eyes before shifting uncomfortably. Castiel mimicking by shifting on the couch a little. Something was making it hard to sit down below and he wasn't sure what it was so he hoped shifting would help. It didn't, even as the woman came closer, took the pizza box, removed the man's hat and met his lips hungry. Separating and staring into them, the pizza boy smiled and shot his head down to recapture the two delicate things of flesh.

"I don't understand," Castiel said as gasps came from the screen. 

888

Sam brought his head up when he heard the sounds from the living room. Not long had passed with the yelling of the elder, but now it was something new. Familiar. The sounds of sex. He blinked and inhaled, catching so many scents but the lingering one of the angel told him that, that was who it was that was still up there. When a sound came of happiness, pleasure...Sam brought his head down and ears back. It reminded him too much of Von. It brought back clarity to the situation. He was still a wolf and he shouldn't have been.

That was when his nose picked up something else and twitched. A sneeze left him at the dust on the ground in small increments but there. Laying his head back down he tried to drown out the sounds, closing his eyes he imagined the fox he had met when he had talked to Moriarty. Sleeping had happened occasionally and he had met that fox with no Moriarty the past two nights. Chasing, petting, rolling around and trying to pin the other. Which was surprising as he was a wolf and larger and the fox was smaller yet it appeared to happen and work. If he could have smiled he would have.

_I've missed you._

_And I you._

The fox could not speak in any human tongue but the sentiment was spoken through her eyes, the warm intelligent chocolate bronze orbs shone with happiness at the sight of Sam. She put her paws on his chest and gave him a tiny kiss on the nose her tail swishing elegantly behind her.

Sam growled happily as if he was smiling wide and returned the kiss, licking the side of the fox's face he rolled them over and sat beside her, his own tail having a mind of its own as it went back and forth while he sat tall. Ears reacting to the different sounds of birds and other animals moving around in the clearing they were playing in in his dream. He knew it was a dream, because there was no way there was this kind of beauty would be allowed to witness by him. Huffing he looked at the fox. Sam knew he might have to wake up soon, but no one was going to come for him yet, not for a while so they had time to hang out with each other.

_It's fun being a wolf. I never really saw it till now. Thank you, you're really helping me. I've lost someone recently and everyone hates me,_ he thought, sending the message to the fox, he had understood what she was thinking towards him about missing him too. _I don't know what to do. I'm not even sure I can possibly change back or if I want to. Can you give me some advice? Then we can continue playing. I rather enjoy these visits._

888

Dean had rummaged through the glove compartment and front seats and instead of getting out and going to the back like any intelligent person would he crawled over the seats with as much grace as a drunk man could muster. Which sadly wasn't all that much. "How many knives does one woman need?" he grumbled and moved the stash of small blades away to see what was behind them under the seats.

He would say this much, Von's Nova was about ten times more clean than the Impala. Cursing and grumbling Dean straightened himself out and climbed out of the back, slamming the door and walking around to the trunk. The end was still damaged from the demonic inferno of White Sulphur Springs and there was no sense in fixing it, no one would ever be driving this classic again.

Taking the bungie cord that was now holding down the trunk he untied it and propped the trunk up on a thick length of wood. Von was so organized; she had to be driving around an apothecary. The back was set up almost like the Impala but with smaller compartments to hold glass bottles and vials. More knives, swords, a crossbow and compound bow; jars upon jars and books. Dean didn't really know what he was looking for but he knew he'd know when he found it.

888

The petite coppery white fox tilted her head to the side and her ears twitched thoughtfully. _No matter your shape you are the same, you are werewolf and Luna would not have you be ashamed._

Her plush tail swished behind her as she held the gaze of the wolf. _But Luna wants you to forget what you were before her, forget about you, about human Sam and about your mate Von who made her jealous. I am the last of what is left and I would not have you forget._

She cuddled into him momentarily then moved away to sniff a familiar small blue flower, remembering would help him to change back if that was what he wanted. It would not be as easy as that though but the fox was here to help him with any and all things.

Standing and observing her sniff the flower he brought his nose down as well to sniff with her. It smelled beautiful. He wrinkled his nose a few times before he sneezed and looked a little boggled from it. Hearing and watching the fox do something that resembled somewhat of a laugh he pounced on her and growled in her face, nuzzling under her chin and sighing, climbing off and onto his side as he breathed and looked at her.

_Last of what is left of what? I'm confused about that. And Luna, she's amazing, but I know you are right. Dean is worried about me. He's frustrated with me. All I want to do is make things right and even go outside, show them that I'm good and not a bad wolf. I want to make things right between us. Between all of us and I can't._

Closing his eyes for a while he opened them to find the fox lying right in front of his face, nose barely touching nose and staring back at him. _You remind me of Von. A lot like her. I miss her. A lot. It hurts me to think about her and I'm afraid once I remember who I am beyond being a wolf that I'll fall back into that pit._

A coy glimmer danced in the fox's eyes and she wiggled her nose before becoming serious. _It's a journey you must take but you don't have to go alone if you don't want to, I will be here, if you can turn back to your human self I will not leave. This pain is useful to you Sam, you have to embrace it like you have your true self, and without it you will forget._

The fox was sorry, she did not want Sam to hurt, she wanted to comfort and snuggle and play with him forever but she couldn't go with him into the real world she could only exist here.

Sam inhaled and made a small gesture with his head as a nod. Wiggling closer he made contact with their noses to kiss and then pulled back. He wondered what was going on right now in the real world. His ears twitched and he knew he'd be waking up soon. He'd try and remember and he'd try and turn back, it might take a little while. Standing up he turned his head to the trees.

_How about a run before I leave?_

The vixen was already off and running towards the trees getting a good head start on the wolf. She weaved through the trees like a silvery streak of copper amidst the lush green of the forest. _Catch me Sam, catch me_, the fox's voice laughed joyfully inside his head as she ran and bounced carefree. She never wanted this to end though she knew soon it would, it made her sad but she knew she would always be with Sam now, he had given her a home.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean's eyes widened, had he found the golden ticket, the one thing that could spare them all this grief? Pulling out the small book and the items that came with it in it's own small separate bag he scoured the pages frantically. Grabbing the items he slammed the trunk down and caught it when it bounced back up giving himself pause to take the bungee cord and fasten it back to the trunk to keep it in place. In his drunken excitement he ran back towards the house, slamming into the door before he could open it fully. Flinging it open he stumbled inside and caught himself.

"Sam...Sam!" he shouted, ignoring Cas who he really didn't see anyway until he heard the graphic sounds of porn playing in the study. Stopping for that reason alone his face was a study in confusion when he leaned in to the watch the trench coat wearing angel perched upon the couch watching some overly well endowed chick do the nasty with a guy in a pizza delivery ball cap. "What the hell are you doing Cas?"

Castiel continued to stare at the screen, "Watching television. Apparently there is some hidden dynamic to this pizza boy and this woman. I don't understand it and yet I feel a little heated. Is the heater on too high in the house?" he asked, turning his head to look at the hunter and stopping on the item in his hand. Turning the television off he stood and moved towards the hunter. "What is that?"

The expression of awkward horror lingered on Dean's face in a tense cringe as the angel approached him. Stepping back to gain some level of personal space he checked the angel over to guarantee the three-foot rule and wished he hadn't. Was it even possible for angels to get boners? Apparently it was, so much for them being junk less.

Pinning his eyes to the ceiling thinking that was a safe bet, Dean answered, "Von had it in her car." Dean pulled the bag open and showed the angel the contents. "From what I can tell I think it's a resurrection spell and none of that zombie shit either."

Observing the item that Dean held and explained to him what it was. He hadn't heard of anything like that before and he wondered what Von was doing with it in the first place. Castiel met Dean's eyes with his usual expression. "Are you sure it is wise to even consider this form of action? A resurrection spell. I don't think this is the way to go and it's a thoughtless action. Do you know what this could do? Do you know if it really works or even will have the result that you are hoping to find?"

Dean's face fell and he took the bag away to zip it back up. "Thanks for your support Cas, real helpful, you know I don't see you coming up with any solutions. You dragged me out of Hell, can't you get Alex and Von back from Heaven or wherever or are you too busy jerking off to the pizza guy stuffin' his pepperoni into Ivana?"

He had read the book, well skimmed it and it sounded legit from the parts he read that were in English. Sam could translate the rest if he was back to being human and maybe if Dean told him he found a way to bring Von back that would convince him to change into his slightly less hairy self. It had to work, the blood in one of the containers was supposed to be real angel blood if anything could bring someone back it would be an angel. Dean glared at Castiel and tried to move passed him when the angel gripped his arm forcing him to stop.

"If you're not going to help get the fuck out of my way," the hunter growled and shrugged out of Castiel's grip as the celestial being, began to speak.

888

Sam awoke from the run with a twitch at the sound of his name being called. Blinking more and more he yawned and began to stretch, mouth going up and down to swallow and get the taste of sleep out. Wrinkling his nose he remembered what the fox had told him. He remembered very well but he still felt too much like he wanted to be petted and run around to sniff and roll over. Play. Listening in on the conversation upstairs, it sounded like Dean had found something.

Standing he was curious and went to the door to sit and wait, head tilted, confused and interested. _What is it Dean? What did you find? You called my name. What is it?_

Sam had heard the rest and he had even got excited. Dean had found a solution and yet Castiel was trying to shoot it down. It would work. He knew it had to. He shifted in that moment, not even thinking about it and it was way painful, not anything like usual, which meant he had simply been in that form too long. Luna couldn't have him, sure it made her mad but his heart belonged to Von way before he was infected and become apart of the moon's lovers. Her pets. Grabbing his pants, not seeing any reason for anything else, he zipped them up and ran to the door. "Dean!" he shouted.

888

"They aren't in heaven Dean. I may be hunted, but I can still listen in. Alex and Von aren't in Heaven and I can't bring them back from the Hell they've fallen into, it's impossible. You were meant to be and you were easier to get to. They aren't," Castiel replied.

Watching the hunter continue to go, he stared after, he knew that he wasn't happy with him but there was nothing he could do. He wasn't willing to go and bring Alex and Von back from the dead. They were in a way his friends now, yes, but Alex deserved to be there. Von could have avoided it but at the same time she couldn't. Destiny wouldn't allow that and she had to end up in that final destination. Castiel couldn't tell them that, that their destinies and the end result was planned, had been planned and they couldn't change it. They couldn't have changed it even if they tried their hardest. It would have happened.

Alex and Von were meant to die, they were meant to go to Hell and they were meant to stay there. Castiel didn't want to tell Dean that in fear of him getting angrier than ever but he knew that he might have to knock some sense into the man. Walking after him, he followed down to the basement. "Dean you don't understand. If you use that spell not knowing what it could do, you will be let down. If you try and bring them back, it won't be just me who stops you."

Dean jerked his head to the door surprised to hear Sam's voice come from behind it then jerked his head back to the angel after what Castiel had said finally sunk in. "What do you mean they're in Hell?", Dean demanded staring daggers at Castiel, not budging an inch until he got an answer. When he heard Sam call again he turned that way taking a minute to think then finally walking over to unlock the door, pulling it back to let his brother out. The smell of the room made him gag and he stepped away returning his vengeful hazel-green orbs to the angel. "What are they doing in Hell Cas, tell us?"

If they were both in Hell that was all the more reason to get them out, Dean had been down there he knew what it was like and the thought that Alex wound up being back there too. And Von, as tough as she was Dean didn't want to think about what Hell would do to her, the thing it would turn her into.

_What about Astarte? She wanted Von and Von is in Hell now, we have to get them out of there and we have to do it soon._

Sam caught that question loud and clear and his own eyes penetrated into the angel. Castiel moved his eyes from one brother to the other. He had said too much already but he might as well just continue. "Alex is in Hell because of what she is. Heaven doesn't allow things like her to enter. I never told you this in fear of getting punished by superiors, but she's the anti-Christ. She was the second to last seal that had to be broken in order for Lucifer to get out of the cage. Her creation was for one reason and that was the seal. The Alex you knew was one that wasn't meant to be, but had happened and happened for a reason. Now that she's back in Hell we don't have to worry about her anymore and being destructive."

The tall hunter held his brother back when he could see the signs of attack, he too wasn't happy with that answer but he had to ask about Von. "And Von? What is she doing in Hell?"

"Von is in Hell...because the vessel of a goddess so chaotic cannot breach the gates of Heaven. Nothing impure can. They hunted and saved lives that is true, but the laws set aside by my brothers and sisters since God has gone missing has prevented them leisure and access to their Heaven. If I am not mistaken, in a way Hell is Alex's heaven. Von's is a much different place."

"That makes no sense," Sam said, it was his turn to step forward, growling as he did so. "Just because Alex is what she is and the choices she had made, affect where she goes? Just because Von is a goddess that you fear, a witch and not human...You judge souls like people judge books. That's not right. That's not just. You get them out of there. You did for Dean, why can't you them?"

"I can't because I won't. There are more important things to do and worry about than two souls that are where they belong. Lucifer is free and we have no idea where he is. The Michael Sword is lost and is the only thing that can stop Lucifer. If Alex and Von were to come back how do you think that would solve the problems the world faces?"

Dean had stopped listening past Alex was the Anti-Christ, his mind repeating the words over and over on the broken record that was his thought process. Alex was the Anti-Christ; Dean Winchester had been fucking and in love with the Anti-Christ? The hunter had a look on his face that said he was trying really hard not to scream. Alex being in Hell because of her demon blood made more sense than her being an Anti-Christ, The Anti-Christ, that was impossible, someone like that was supposed to destroy the world not save it.

_She did kind of go bad at the end, an' she was a Seal second to last that popped Lucifer from his box_.

Dean shoved the bag into Sam's chest for him to take. "They'd be helping us and that's better than them being torn to pieces in Hell over and over, neither one of them deserved that, not even Alex and you know it."

Dean ignored the scared feeling that told him something bad was happening, Castiel's revelation about Alex scared the shit out of him. It was no small news, he already knew about Von's connection with Astarte and while the Goddess was no pushover Alex being the Devil's right hand came as more of a fright than anything.

"Translate that Sam, I want to know if it's possible," Dean ordered, happy to find a bottle of Jack nearby, he was thirsty and scared what better beverage to quench his thirst then good ol' liquid courage.

Reading what was in the bag, Sam was surprised he could but he was glad he could because now they knew what they were getting themselves into. Bringing his head up, he shook his head. "It will only work for one person Dean. That means we can't bring both of them back," he said.

Handing the item back to Dean, his face fell into defeat and he felt that pit take over again. He had been so excited, he been glad to know that Dean had found a way and now...now it was false hope. Sam stared at the item and then at Castiel, glaring at the angel. Going up to him he didn't know what to do and he wasn't about to harm him but he felt like telling the angel to find someone other place to hole up and then die. That was what _he_ deserved. How dare he talk about the girls that way?

Castiel noticed what Sam was saying with his eyes and he questioned the hunter with just a look, a simple one that Sam would only know what it meant. One that said that Sam should take a glance at what he did with Alex. He knew, all the angels knew. It was no secret and if Dean found out, Dean would be thinking the same thing about Sam going to die in a hole or even kill him with his bare hands. The hunter stepped back and shook his head, that was low. Even for Castiel, that was low but Sam figured that angels knew no boundaries.

"This is what I was trying to tell you. They are meant to stay there regardless of them maybe helping save the world. Imagine bringing them back after they've been in Hell for two weeks. What kind of person would they be? How would they act? They'd be unstable. Further time in Hell it'd still be the same, but this soon. No spell is powerful enough to bring back two souls and have the bodies at high condition. Impossible. Now I think it's safe to say that it's time to move on and get back to hunting. Get back to your job. Too many people will suffer if you don't," Castiel said.

The tall hunter inhaled and exhaled, calming himself. About to begin to walk towards the stairs to head up, needing out of the basement he felt the angel's hand on his arm holding him back. "Let me go Cas."

"Bobby gave strict orders to keep an eye on you. I suggest you stay down here until you are deemed stable enough."

"I am stable. I...I'm not going to kill anyone if that is what you are hinting at. I'm still hurting very deeply inside and I blame myself to a degree you can't even fathom. But I need to do something. And I can't stand to know that you are the one helping us when really you are just telling us things we should have known. Telling us things that are making the situation worse. This isn't me asking you nicely Cas, fuck off."

"Let him go Cas, he's not going to hurt anyone," Dean assured and made his way passed the angel which allowed Sam to follow him. "You can keep an eye on him just as easily upstairs."

Defeated and beaten into the dirt didn't do the emotion in Dean justice, there had been that glimmer of hope and now it was snuffed. It could only bring one person back, neither one of them would let the other choose one over the other, it wasn't fair and because of that they would both suffer the trials of Hell. As Dean was about to ascend the steps after Sam he glowered down at Castiel.

"In case you forgot I was down there four months and we both know how long that really equals, Alex and Von are both stronger than you give them credit for." When Dean hit the top he met his brother's eyes briefly then turned away to walk to the study. He had a bottle of whiskey he needed to find the bottom of waiting for him somewhere; already he was feeling the looming sting of sobriety.

_We can't get both out so both have to stay, that's bullshit but Sam would never give me the okay to bring Von back and I couldn't let him choose Alex over Von. So they're both left down there to rot away for years until their souls are more twisted and fucked up than they already were, there has to be a way, if Von were here I would be talking to her about it, she'd have to know or know someone who'd have some kind of idea about what to do._

Dean couldn't believe he was having an inner monologue with himself, at least he wasn't at the point to say it out loud like some damn actor from a Shakespearean play. That was more Sam's specialty he was the one that wanted to do all the plays and be a drama geek and geek all around to be normal.

Sam noticed that Sorcha wasn't upstairs when he didn't see her. And he was frankly kind of glad, he didn't want to deal with being growled at and maybe getting bitten like last time. Sure Bobby would straighten her out and remind her about what he said but he couldn't blame her. She thought he deserved everything just like he did. The hunter moved to the study with Dean and took a seat in a chair, his hands on the arm rest and raising a bit to find there was a design on there as well as initials that fit the brunette female. Alex Tatiani.

_I want to use that spell, I really do. I want to bring back Von. I want to also bring back Alex, but if I had to really choose it'd be Von. However, Dean wouldn't allow that, he'd want both; there was no choice about it._

Keeping his eyes on the angel as he moved in behind them and stood by the wall farthest for better eagle eye on Sam, but Sam was also returning the favor. Castiel on the other hand had heard what Dean had said about them being stronger than he gave them credit for. "I don't doubt that Alex and Von are strong, but they aren't as strong as you think Dean. If they were that strong then they wouldn't have fallen into doubting themselves, into that despair that turned their worlds upside down. If Alex were that strong she wouldn't have betrayed you and gotten herself killed, she would have had a better handle on her abilities. If Von were that strong, don't you think she'd still be here?"

"Shut up Cas," Sam growled, eyes hard on the angel. Any more talk about the topic and he was going to beat him into a pulp and it wasn't because of him being a werewolf, but because of him being Sam. Because he was defending Von and Alex, and because he loved them. "Right now. Just stop."

"I am only projecting truth."

"In a minute I'm going to be projecting my fist into your face," Dean threatened, "then you'll be projecting your teeth out of your mouth."

He gulped down some whiskey in between glaring at the Castiel the pervy angel. If Castiel really wanted to help he'd keep his ignorant mouth shut and never speak of Alex or Von again. There had to be some way to bring them back that Castiel wasn't telling them. Sam had tried everything and looked everywhere to find a way to bring Dean back but maybe he overlooked something, there had to be a way...there had to. Two weeks was already too long to be in Hell by this time it would have felt like months and within a month it would be ten or so years. Dean didn't want to think about it but everytime he drank it would only be a matter of time until the images would crop up again.

"Yeah, right with Dean," Sam agreed.

Castiel knew in that instant he had crossed some sort of a line and he brought his eyes down. He had to say what he did and though the boys wouldn't listen to reason and hear that it was indeed truth that he was speaking then maybe it was time he leave them be. "Fine. While you two drink yourselves into a stupor, I'm going to be doing what you should be. What Alex and Von would want. Move forward and continue your craft," he said before he disappeared in the sound of wings.

The tall hunter stared at the spot the angel had been in for a long time before he inhaled and sighed, bringing his attention to his brother. "There has to be a way. There has to be something that can bring them back. If a deal won't work then it has to be something. Whether we find someone who really knows what they are doing with magick and can double the recipe or even make it have a greater impact or...I don't know. But we have to get them back."

The only person Dean knew who was capable of doing what they needed was Von and he said as much before the room fell into silence as they both thought. "Von had to know someone else that could do the stuff she did, right?" Dean wanted to sound hopeful for Sam's sake but he sounded just as tired and drunk as he had for the past two weeks, his words mumbled and slurred here and there around the edges. Dragging a hand through his spiked hair he let it fall to his lap and he stared blearily at the bottle of whiskey in his other hand.

It clicked. "You looked through her car for that spell right? Well, why don't we both look in her car for a contact book of some kind? Maybe she kept something that had names she wrote down. You know? Resourceful people?" Sam brought up.

Seeing the cogs work in his brothers head, and stand up, they both moved to the door to head to where the cars were. Sam was actually going to step outside, he was actually going to visit Von's car. It made his heart twist but they had to know and they had to find out. If there was a chance then maybe they could find that person. Then they wouldn't feel useless by not knowing what to do to get the girls back. Arriving at the Nova, the two split, one taking the trunk and the other taking the interior of the vehicle.

_Please Von; please say that you actually something like this. Like dad did. She has to._


	5. Chapter 5

Dean was at the back end of the car, rummaging through the trunk while trying to maintain some respect. He let Sam scour the interior also giving him the chance to have some time with Von's things that Sorcha had denied him. When the car rocked Dean looked over the lid of the trunk to see Sam doing werewolf things and because he wasn't ripping up the upholstery he left him to it. Sam had his own way of grieving and now the mannerisms of a werewolf, were added to that psyche. Von had to have kept a notebook of addresses or even a journal like most hunters. Unfortunately, Von wasn't like most hunters and he never recalled her writing anything down in a journal, still that didn't mean much he had barely written in his for the last two years.

Rolling on the seats, he loved the scent that was till there thankfully. And now that Sorcha wasn't there to deny him the luxury of mourning the way he knew he would have been. He inhaled, and water collected in his eyes. He wouldn't cry now, he had to keep that in. They were trying to solve this and they were trying to find solutions, now wasn't the time to be sad. If they couldn't find anything then he could be, when they found something and he was by himself he could mope all he wanted to.

Hitting his head on the roof in the backseat he winced and cursed, blinking as he rubbed his head before he stopped and stared at the floor wedged all the way underneath the drivers seat. He would never have found it if he hadn't sort of fallen down more from the head bump or if he wasn't a werewolf as everything seemed in better clarity with his eyes back there. Reaching underneath and taking it in his hands he opened it as he opened the door and continued to sit but his legs outside. Flipping through things it appeared to be what they were looking for.

"Found something," he called, continuing to go and finding names written in categories of Shaman's, witches, etc. Which would be a better choice? Some of the names were frightening and Sam wasn't sure if even he'd want to get in contact with some of the names that were there. "So I guess we pick one and find them."

Pick one and find them. There were a surprising amount of names and numbers, some people didn't even have numbers attached to them, just addresses and others had only their names. The boys had to start somewhere and Dean had actually heard of some of the names listed, whispered among hunters in the shadows of the places where they gathered. He had overheard enough about them to know to stay clear of those people otherwise you'd end up in a very bad and very dead place.

"What about that one?" Dean jabbed the page where a name stood out among the rest. "Donnie St. Lewis, he seems like a harmless enough guy...never heard of him though, you?"

"No. I haven't. But I guess it's worth a shot. Donnie St. Lewis. Interesting name for a person. Now the question is, how do we find him. There's no address and there's no phone number," Sam said, pausing before standing, closing the car door and walking back to the house with his brother. "I guess this means we are asking Bobby to ask a few people to keep a look out. Maybe he can ask that Rufus guy."

Entering the Singer house, Sam kept staring at the name. Out of all the ones they picked the less harmless one and if Sam didn't know any better the man sounded like he would be easy to get along with. The name also sounded Irish but he didn't want to assume. Licking his lips as he moved to the desk where Bobby's laptop was momentarily and lifted the screen. Maybe the name was in the search engine or maybe in one of the files that Bobby had if he knew anything about the guy. Trying both, the files first, sure enough there was nothing there and he switched over to the internet.

Typing in the name he came up with only one result. "Well, we can tell Bobby to tell Rufus and others...and we can even go find him ourselves with this lead. There's a Donnie St. Lewis performing tomorrow night in Montgomery, Alabama at a bar called Rikki's."

"Alright," Dean replied.

The fragile flame of hope had been rekindled with the idea that this Donnie St. Lewis could be the one to help them or better set them on the right path. He had let Bobby know on his voicemail to keep a lookout for the witch because he might know how to get both girls back. Shamefully he was glad that Bobby hadn't answered so the elder couldn't talk them out of it though Dean was sure he'd beat them about the neck and shoulders afterwards.

Fumbling around the study for supplies Sam was much more adapt at packing for the trip because he wasn't the one to have consumed a gallon of whiskey in less than a week. Dean drank while Sam got everything ready; he was at the point where he wasn't concerned about hiding it from his brother. Sam could berate him for all he cared, and then he would have the reason he needed to whip the bottle at Sam's shaggy head.

He could walk, sort of, and he could still point a gun if he had to or so he was convinced. Dean knew better than to get away with driving drunk around Sam, that would have caused the real fight, he would have been too drunk and stupid to stop and Sam would have had to maim him to force him to behave. Sam would be allowed to drive and they had a destination and a name Rikki's bar Montgomery, Alabama look for a guy named Donnie.

888

Being in the car they had driven for some time and Dean had zonked out, they still had many hours to go and the clock was ticking. The lead had been distinct. Performing, a Donnie St. Lewis was performing, so that meant that not only was the guy a witch but he was also an active musician on the side.

_I guess he has to get money somehow._

Sam continued to drive, deciding to pull over at the time and him getting tired and knowing Dean wouldn't wake up for a while he made sure to pull off into one of the areas that was used for trailers and semi's to just sleep. Nothing more accept a bathroom nearby. Turning the engine off, he made sure the doors were locked before he closed his own eyes. Time to rest up and if Dean woke up and started asking why he hadn't woken him up for his shift, he had reasons to give. Plenty and that was that Dean needed the sleep regardless of whatever haunting dreams he might have.

The tall hunter fell into slumber rather easily and fast and he was back in that clearing. This time he was human, the first in what seemed like a long while. He looked left and right for the fox he wished to see. They didn't have to play, he could if she wanted to but he run on two legs instead of four. Just sitting with her was enough to soothe him. So sitting down, his back resting against the tree he waited patiently. She would be there soon and then he could tell her the exciting news.

_Sam_.

The fox bounced towards him with a sparkle in her eye and stopped just shy of his feet. With a curious tiny black nose the fox sniffed the air by his feet stepping to the side to sniff his leg, hip and other necessary areas. She had only seen him in his human form once before and that was when she had him chase her to rescue Von, before he could understand her animal voice. When she looked up her eyes still held that sparkle and when he brought his hand closed she sniffed that before licking his fingers and nipping them playfully.

_I knew you could do it_.

Her tail swished happily and she put her little black paws on his chest to lick his cheek. She was happy for him even though he smelled a bit sick from the demon blood and could tell by his expression that he wanted to tell her something and that it was good news. Her ears twitched and perked up.

_What is it?_ She asked with a tilt of her head.

"Hey," he smiled, petting her and glad to know that she recognized him. "We are going to the girls back. We have a lead and though the spell that Dean found was only for one person, we have a lead that might be able to help us."

Sam watched her soak it in and he really hoped she'd be happy for him in return. If they found Donnie then that meant that had a chance, even if the witch had to work on it to see then they still had a chance. It was all about chances and hope, it was leading them on and Sam was excited, he was happy because then he could have some form of hope that it would be successful that he could get Von back.

The fox nuzzled into his hand then looked up her ears dropping with uncertainty. She didn't want to hurt Sam or make him upset but she wasn't the kind of being to blindly support him either.

_What kind of spell? _She asked, remembering something that might fit the description from Von's dreams and memories.

It was a spell that she undoubtedly believed would work, doubling up the recipe on the other hand was a whole other pile of problems. She sat aside from him facing him with her tail curled around her black-socked feet, the happy sparkle in her eyes was gone and replaced with a curious yet concerned one. The fox wanted with all her heart for Sam to be happy, but he would never be happy without Von and he would be on the hunt forever to bring her back.

"The spell is a resurrection spell," he explained and when he saw the light die in the fox's eyes, the uncertainty he furrowed his brows. "You don't think that what I'm doing is going to work..." Standing up he brushed off his hands and pants and began to walk away. "You're wrong. It has to."

He felt a little betrayed a little heart broken. His playmate and friend was showing signs that she didn't believe that it would be successful. Sam could tell from her eyes. Walking through the trees knowing that she was following him, he stopped in his tracks and place his hand against a tree. Staring at the ground, the grass, the dirt, the leaves and twigs. He didn't want to believe the fox. But he didn't want to be mad at her either. It was her opinion. He couldn't fault her for that.

"I thought you'd be happy for me."

_I am happy for you_, she tried, remaining standing in case he decided to take off again, _and I believe the spell will work I have faith that it will, but it was only meant for one Sam_. The fox approached him but remained behind him with her ears down and tail slightly limp between her legs, giving Sam the puppy eyes of apology. _I'll be here for you no matter what, until you find a way for both of them to return._

He couldn't say no to that face and he bent down, smiling as he pet her head and scratched underneath her chin. Feeling the world slightly shake as if an earthquake was occurring he knew what it was. "Dean's awake. I should wake up too. I'll be back," he said, bringing her up to kiss her on the forehead and her giving him a kiss in return before he opened his eyes and found the world in daylight.

Groaning and stretching he noticed that Dean was just trying to get out of the alcohol haze and slumber as well. And Sam huffed; looking at his watch he noticed the time. They had a ways to go and they had to make it there to find the guy and talk to him. Find answers. Looking at his brother he wondered if Dean was up to driving or if he was too hung-over from it, exiting the car he went off to a bush and went to relieve himself before returning, poking his head down.

"Do you want to drive?" he asked.

"No," he groaned and winced at the loudness of his own voice.

Of course he wanted to drive but Sam must have been fucking high to suggest it because the elder brother was still drunk and halfway to be being hung-over. Falling out of the car onto the pavement he got to his feet and stumbled off into the bush to take care of business like Sam had previously. He was hungry, or thirsty, his body wasn't telling him which because he had been surviving off of scotch whiskey for the past two weeks. Stumbling back a little straighter he rested against the Impala with a huff and squinted against the sky, it was too damn bright out. With a groan he crawled back into the cave that was the Impala and fumbled for the glove compartment to find a pair of sunglasses.

"C'mon Sam, get the lead out," he barked roughly and slumped into the passenger seat with an arm resting over his midriff.

Sam entered the car and started the Impala. Pulling out and back onto the interstate he made sure to keep going a little ways until he found an exit with a gas station to get some food and fill the tank. While Sam had Dean fill the tank, he didn't necessarily trust the hunter to go inside and get food and not get alcohol. Finding some nice snacks and sandwiches along with a few waters, he skipped the beer and hard liquor and paid at the counter. Coming back to the Impala when he was done and Dean was back in the car he placed the bag into Dean's lap.

"Pick what you want," he said as he shut the door, started the car for a second time today and moved away from the gas station before decided to bark about no whiskey or scotch or anything else for that matter.

888

**8:14 PM**

Arriving at the bar named Rikki's he was glad that they had made it there, he wasn't sure he could deal with Dean's grumbling about the alcohol being gone because he drank it all. Sam would have been there with Dean on drinking but he knew that being a werewolf he couldn't let himself drown in the luxury so it made things that much harder to deal with. Unfolding his frame from the Impala he heard joints pop and then rearrange to satisfactory positions and he sighed happily at the ability to walk around now.

Shutting the door and heading inside with the hunter they noticed that there was live music playing, a guy on the stage and Sam wondered if that was him. It must have been since he was the only one playing in the slotted time that Donnie was supposed to be playing. Nudging his brother to the person as they went to the bar to grab a few beers, he wasn't going to allow his brother to drink anything but beers while here. Signaling the bartender as she came their way and she smiled at them.

"What can I do you for boys?"

"Two beers, one El Sol and the other a Bud," Sam said.

"Coming right up," she said going to the fridge behind her and popping out the two bottles, uncapping them and placing them in front of them.

"When is Donnie going to be done up there?" Sam asked, gesturing with his head towards the guy.

"Donnie? Donnie St. Lewis? Oh that's not Donnie. Sorry. They high tailed it not too long before you got here, something about having to cut their set to get to another town before tomorrow night a ways away."

Hope. Yeah. Something about hope was bringing that news down to a zinger. Motioning for the harder liquor he decided maybe it wasn't too bad of an idea to give his brother some and take a little himself. About to take a good swig of his alcohol that was when he heard it, but no one else did. It was his damn bionic hearing and he heard a scream from outside. The music was too loud and he stood straight, face falling and concentrating on the sound before he turned to Dean.

"Hey, um, we should probably head out then," Sam said, hinting towards the doors with his eyes that something was going on.

"What?" Dean whined looking at the tumbler of whiskey and the beer then back at Sam. His brother gave him the tilted head 'c'mon glare' and Dean answered in an annoyed huff before teetering off the stool and standing next to him. "Again, what?" he asked with annoyance. First Sam gives him the booze and then he drags it away from him, this wasn't a fun game and Dean was about to go back to the bar when he saw Sam's head perk up like a dog that had heard something.

"Something's going on and there is something here that wreaks," Sam said, exiting the bar, leaving it to his brother to follow him and when he did and they were outside. No one was there. And that's when he heard it again. A scream one that said they were fighting for their life.

Running in the direction of it he didn't hesitate as he shifted, his clothes ripping and becoming useless and what had sloughed off of him left behind in it but he ran faster and skidded around the corner of the building next to Rikki's. Finding a woman dead on the ground and something standing over her with blood covering the entire thing. He didn't know what it was, but it smelled horrible enough that Sam wrinkled his nose before his teeth were bared and he growled, tongue coming out in between his teeth as he barked and spittle came out.

The thing that was there turned to look at the animal that was watching him and making a racket its eyes catching the light and creating what some would call a camera flare but Sam knew better. Shape shifter. About to run towards it he yelped when Dean ran into him and sent them both to the ground, Sam on his side and blinking to figure out what was where and where the sky was along with the earth. Feet running the opposite direction made him try even harder. It was getting away. Going to stand he winced and another yelp left him and his attention turned to the fallen hunter that was trying to gather his bearings.

Giving a growl and a huff it was his way of saying "Dean," with the attitude he knew he would have had.

Dean coughed and struggled to his feet, blinking hazy eyes and wondering where the furry brick wall was that hit him. Seeing the inhuman sized wolf he almost jumped back going for his gun when he remembered that it was Sam. "What's wrong Lassie, did Timmy fall down the well?"

He came alongside the dire beast noticing a gnarly chunk of scrap metal sticking out of his side and without ceremony yanked it out. Sam apparently didn't like that and Dean threatened him with a kick of his boot which narrowly missed because of the hunter's half drunk lack of coordination.

"You're fucking welcome." Dean tossed the metal aside and it landed with a clang. "Go after him Balto, I'll catch up," he waved him off.

Dean's mind wasn't so fogged up as to wonder why Sam changed into the giant wolf again and not the werewolf he had been expecting. Was it tactical or was it because Sam actually couldn't change into that form again? Which didn't make any sense from what Dean had been taught about Loup-Garou, they had one shape, one, they didn't have a choice between biped and quadruped.

Inhaling and looking at his wound as it closed up he started to head after the shape shifter in the direction it had gone. Running like the wind, feeling it go through his fur and over his face he sighed. It felt good. Rounding a corner crossing the street as he saw the thing on the other side. He had to get it. He had to. He could make it. Sure enough the moment he thought it was clear that was when he stopped in front of the shape shifter staring down at him and waving coyly.

A car horn, tires squealing and he turned his attention to the oncoming vehicle, being hit was not fun. Rolling underneath the car his limbs flopped along with the rest of his body as he lay on the road. The car had stopped before going again after a door shut. The shape shifter had a buddy and Sam couldn't go after them. Where was Dean? Blinking he tried to focus, tried to stay awake.


	6. Chapter 6

Chasing after his wolf brother he caught up soon enough, because Sam had stopped running. The sight of a large brown dog on the road ruffled and bloody made him stop in alarm. "Sam!" he jogged over and dropped beside the wolf laying a hand on the bloody patch of fur. "Sammy!"

The unstoppable all-powerful werewolf had been trumped by a hit and run, scraped, ripped and trampled. Dean focused on one of the least gory patches having seen that at least one of Sam's limbs was bent in a way it shouldn't have been. It would take more than a car to kill him but it still made Dean's guts twist up to see how badly his brother was hurt. The wolf's eyes were closed and Dean didn't want to shake him too much because he didn't know what was intact and what wasn't. Managing to grab the scruff of Sam's neck with both hands he hauled the unconscious wolf to the side of the road. He was too heavy to carry or drag for long, Dean would have to leave him to get the car.

"Please be here when I come back." Hesitantly he left Sam and ran back the way they came down the alley and to the parking lot of Rikki's bar. Running to the car he fumbled for the keys to find he didn't have them, they were in Sam's clothes that he passed. "Shit, fucking shit."

He turned and ran back searching frantically for the clothes that Sam left behind. Finding them he grabbed shook and tossed, nearly tossing the food he had eaten hours before when some of Sam's shedded skin came into contact with his own, it was that in between temperature where something hot had been lying in something cool so some parts were cold where others were still warm. It was slippery and slightly wet and nauseating as all hell and what Dean hated the most was that it was sticky and it smelled which didn't mingle well with the other smells in the alley. Finding the keys and Von's knife that Sam had taken he took whatever else Sam needed and left the rest it wasn't important.

The Impala gunned out of the parking lot and swerved around the building, Dean hopped out and wrestled Sam into the backseat. Bloodied and covered in bits of fur he drove like he knew where he was going when he had no idea. A brilliant pink neon sign was a beacon of salvation for the Winchesters and Dean pulled into the Moonshine motel, the name was a bit too ironic for his tastes but he would take what he could get. Coming to a stop he hauled ass out of the Impala and scared the lady behind the desk in the lobby but managed to get a room key out of her while convincing her not to call the cops.

Lucky room thirteen was their destination; the horse up Dean's ass must have been intact because the room was facing the trees and not the street. Tucked away nicely where not too many would see Dean took the risk of removing his still wolfed out brother from the back of the Impala and into the room. Dropping him at least once he finished dragging him into the room to leave him on the carpeted floor. There was no way he was going to try to lift Sam onto the bed since he was three times the size he normally was.

Grabbing supplies from the trunk he locked his baby up then locked the motel door behind him, setting everything up before falling onto the bed. It was exhausting but he had to finish helping his brother, he wasn't a damn vet and once again there was another painful reminder of how much he wished the girls were still alive. Von would know what to do; he dragged a hand over his face stopping when he realized too late it had werewolf blood all over it. He had to be careful about any of it getting into him otherwise he'd risk getting infected and wouldn't that be just a treat.

Dean watched at the foot of the bed his hands clasped between his knees and his shoulders bunched up to keep his head up enough to see Sam. Already he was beating himself up for Sam getting hurt, he would heal but that wasn't the point, the fact was Dean wasn't there when he should have been because he was too shit faced to function. He couldn't say he would give up alcohol entirely that was impossible but he would try to lay off it for a while, they were working a job after all he had to at least try to be somewhat professional about this.

How long would it take Sam to heal? The car had crunched him good. The bigger they are and all that... "Don't worry Sammy, I'm not going anywhere until you get better, then we'll find those bastards and rip them apart."

888

_Sam, Sam._ The fox bounded towards him in a worried state her large pointy ears flattened back and her shining bronze eyes wide with concern. She stopped in front of his face and touched her nose to his giving it a lick to try and rouse him. _What happened?_

Feeling something wet on his nose he tried to open his eyes. He was dreaming because he saw the fox, but he was weak and that was why he wasn't so much as standing. His body in the real world was trying to heal from the damages done. Being hit twice and injured twice, the second time worse than the other. Sam blinked at her tired. _I was...chasing a shapeshifter and I got hit by a car. They ran me over._

An exhale left him and he whimpered at the pain. Healing would take a while at this level. Good thing it wasn't silver then he'd really be taking a long time to heal. Instead it would probably take an hour for him to wake. It was an estimate. Out of all the things, when they try and find a witch, it turned out there was a hunt in the town they were in. It was either coincidence or simply bad luck. He was going to go with the bad luck as they were Winchesters and nothing was ever a lucky horseshoe in their path.

_Don't leave me. I just need to sleep it off. I just need to let myself heal. Don't leave me..._

_I won't leave, I won't._

The little coppery white fox checked behind her and side to side then closed her eyes to concentrate when she was sure that Sam had closed his and would keep them closed. Her body seamlessly shifted from that of a petite fox to a human, no gore, no bones snapping or cries of pain just a faint shimmer of light and her metallic fur shedding to reveal unmarked skin. But to say she looked human was stretching it, her fox ears sat atop her head where silky coppery white hair tumbled down to her backside and her tail was as intact as her ears. Bronze orbs blinked behind thick white eyelashes and her fingertips were as black as her fur had been on her paws where sharp nails replaced claws.

Other than those details the fox had a very pleasing human shape, her face was pretty and her curves were full and perfect. She did not choose this shape to be easy on the eyes, a human hand could more easily pet then a paw could. She knew Sam wouldn't care whether she could pet him or not nor could he because she had never shown him this shape in order for him to choose. In fact she found it rather uncomfortable and to be in it did hurt a tiny bit more than she would have liked but she could tolerate it for the sake of comforting Sam. Her hand met his fur gently and she smiled softly at the wolf while he slept even in the dream.

_Rest now_, she soothed as she ran her hand over his rich brown fur, watching his chest fall up and down knowing he would heal and be stronger for it.

888

He sighed, a dream within a dream. Sam was trying to find someone, needing to find them. Running through the cars piled on top of the other, he cried out Dean's, Von's and Alex's name. He was just 15 and they were hiding from him as usual. Dean always taking off with the girls and leaving Sam to find them. Searching he finally turned a pile of cars and went down the path to the pond and there they were, swimming and Alex looked unimpressed with Dean.

"Oh come on Dean, you couldn't get Lori if you wanted to. She's Miss innocent cheerleader and she's a virgin. She won't date any guys during school, what makes you think she'll date you and allow you to get into her pants?" Alex asked, her attention going to Sam as he came towards them and she smiled before it fell once more as she looked back at Dean. "Hey, Sammy."

"Thanks for ditching me Dean," Sam said, glaring at his older brother as he removed his shoes and socks, dipping them in the pond but not entering as he sat next to Von.

He really liked her. A lot. Sam knew this was a memory of what had happened and he remembered that Von never knew that he had even a crush on her. She never knew. Never noticed and Sam had been trying to get the nerve to maybe ask her on a date but kept chickening out. Sometimes Dean and Alex would tease him about his crush and catch him being all star struck over Von. He had found Von. That was the goal. Feeling something brush his hair he went to smack it away, waking up from that dream to be in the first dream he had been, his form now human and he was pinning a woman underneath him. They were both naked and he was breathing hard.

Blinking a few times he recognized her, the ears giving it away as well as the eyes and he stared at her, observing and taking her in. She was beautiful and he was awestruck. "Wow..." he breathed.

The fox's eyes widened in surprise, she had been lulled into a state of peacefulness and abruptly shaken out of it when Sam pinned her to the ground. She only stayed under him for a few seconds, too long as he looked her over in awe, before she freed herself from his grip and was on her feet. Her stupid clumsy human feet and as she took her first couple of steps readying to run she yelped not from pain but from surprise when Sam grabbed her ankle.

Losing her balance she fell on all fours pulling on her leg that was in his grasp, her tail tucked between the cheeks of her perfect ass and her ears flattened against her head. The fox did not want Sam to see her like this but she could not bear the thought of hurting him to get away. She yelped again to give the impression he was hurting her though he was far from it, then gave up and curled into a scared little ball in the grass.

_I did not want you to see me like this_. This shape made her ashamed and she tried to hide herself like she had done something terribly wrong and offensive.

"Hey, don't be scared," he said, apologizing as he moved closer to her and brushed her hair from her face. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just...you look amazingly beautiful. You don't have to run from me or feel embarrassed."

Sam waited to catch her orbs and his thumb brushed her cheek comfortingly until she turned her head up a bit. He smiled softly and wrapped his arms around her in a hug, pulling her into his body to soothe the fox now in human form though with fox details, but it didn't bother him. She was magnificent. He kissed her forehead and continued to brush her hair, just like he would Von. She reminded him of Von and at the same time slightly different.

"It's okay."

_It is? _She asked and blinked her animal orbs up at him in askance before hovering her lips over his cheek and licking him with the tip of her tongue.

Her tail swished and she tucked her head under Sam's chin, flattening her pointy ears to do so. The fox wasn't embarrassed to be naked, she was naked all the time, and she wanted to hide because...it was complicated. She was certainly more vulnerable in this form than she would have been otherwise and that made a big impact on her behavior.

_I wanted to pet you to make you feel better_.

She blushed and curled in a bit somewhat embarrassed by her confession. Her eyes darted away bashfully even while her head was tucked under his chin still and her plush tail wrapped around her slender legs. She didn't understand what Sam had said earlier about being amazingly beautiful, was that why he had been staring at her? It confused her, the fox knew what the words meant or she had thought so until Sam used them the way he did towards her.

Sam smiled and chuckled; bringing her head away from his chin he stared into her eyes. "You aren't used to this are you?" he asked before he went to her cheek and kissed the skin instead of licking like she did. "And yes it is okay. Believe me, it's a compliment saying that you are beautiful." His eyes were alight as he smiled, though it was then that he realized just how naked he was and he backed away just a bit and apologized as his hands cupped his package so then she couldn't see. "I'm...still trying to get used to being naked around people."

The fox crawled over to him. _I am not a people_.

She took his hands in hers and lifted them chest height but kept her eyes on his. He was never ashamed to be naked when he was a wolf and to be honest she had already seen that part of him, just when he was furry. Letting go of his hands she allowed him to do what he wished whether to cover him up again or be at ease with his nudity. Tilting her head to the side she gave a gentle smile.

_And thank you...for saying I'm beautiful you're beautiful too_. Her tail swished bashfully and it wrapped over her lap for her fingers to play through the fur while she looked at it.

Sam laughed a bit but in a nervous, blushing way and he looked down at her tail before drifting his eyes up to hers. "Thanks. I...um..." he swallowed.

_Now I feel like I'm 15 again. Only Von could make me be this way and yet this fox makes me think of Von and act the same way. Why? Moriarty said something about the fox being a part that was left behind. Is that what he meant? God now I'm getting too excited and it's because of the nakedness. But I can't help it, I'm male._

Sam's eyes stayed on her, wondering, thinking and he had realized that she had heard his thought and he looked down to the earth. Eyes closed as if he could hide. She tilted her head the other way a very distinct and human emotion of confusion on her face.

_Have your feelings for me changed?_

The fox frowned in worry and tucked her legs against her chest with her tail wrapping around to hide what skin she could. There were reasons why she reminded him of Von, she knew this and she could list all of them but she was not Von and they both knew this. This did not make her sad because she did not know to be sad about it, she was the last piece that was left, the one that survived and was now able to live on in Sam.  
><em><br>I will change back_.

The fox did not want to cause him any upset. She stood on her unsteady legs, holding her hands out for balance and took a small step away from Sam towards the bushes. Another small step and she fell to her hands and knees in a huff, frustrated that she could not easily accomplish what humans found so simple. She was never meant to walk on two legs and while frustrated she soon didn't care checking behind to see Sam watching her.

Sitting on her rear with her back to him and her eyes peeking over her shoulder. _What is it?_

Sam watched her. "I..." he swallowed. "I'm attracted you, don't know if you understand that. But it's because of me being a red-blooded human male that even the slightest bit of nudity by the opposite sex gets me riled." Licking his lips, as they seemed dry he then grew saddened. "I want to...but I don't think I can and I know you aren't accustom to it and I'd be taking advantage and I'm still suffering. I like you but I love Von." Tears began to come to his eyes.

Head hanging he began to cry. Sam didn't want to lead the fox on and he didn't want to think these things because it really meant he was fucked up and it meant he moved on and he couldn't. Von was his and would always be and this part of Von was here...somehow, she was still here but it wasn't really Von. How was he supposed to do anything without thinking about Von? How was he supposed to hang out with this fox without growing feelings that had been killed when Von died?

"I don't understand why you still hang around me. I'm nothing but bad news and a sick wolf."

The fox's eyes softened and she walked back over to Sam on all fours, sitting in front of him on her legs with her long coppery white hair covering her chest. She placed her hand on his shaggy haired head to comfort him.

_I understand, but you aren't human Sam and you haven't been since the night you were bitten, and you are attracted to me because you love Von and I am the last part that survives. It is not the nudity but the similarities between her and I that drives these emotions. _The fox looked down at her hands curling the black tipped fingers and the sharp nails with them and her eyes filled with sorrow. _Which is why I wished you hadn't seen me this way._ _I'm sorry_.

She bowed forward resting her forehead on the grass with her ears down and her tail held between her legs. Her human arms were wrapped around herself. _I hang around because Von loves you and however small a part I am that love transcends through all of her, you are not bad or sick because if I were not a part of the one you love you would not feel this way._

Looking at her he wondered how she always seemed to get through to him. Making sense and calming the sorrow and calming the guilt and the thoughts about himself. "I've done some bad things. Some very bad things that I am sure that Moriarty has told you. I understand what you are saying, and I really want to but the bad things just make it harder. I know you are a part of Von but I don't want to hurt you. Not like I did so many people, and I know you aren't a person, but you are still a being in a way. Intelligent, beautiful and different."

Sam lay down. He wasn't done healing, not in the real world that was why he was still there but he was also still there because of his want to talk and to be around the fox. He sighed, searching the sky and the trees that were canopying over.

"I'm so confused and my heart is beating a thousand miles a minute. Yet it aches twice that much. I've died inside and yet somehow you have made me live again. Does that sound cheesy? I'm sorry if it does." Turning his head to look at her he rolled over and brought his face closer. "Would it be wrong to?" His eyes flicked from her eyes to her lips and then back.

_I don't know_.

The fox lifted her head from the grass to search Sam's eyes. For her there was no true wrong in it, to him wouldn't it be considered a form of cheating though she was a part of Von, that was the problem really if she wasn't Sam wouldn't be considering what he was. He placed blame on being a red blooded male but after the fox's explanation he now understood the blossoming attraction had infinitely deeper roots stemming from his love of Von more than her lack of clothing. She did not know everything Sam had done but she knew enough and she did have some of Von's memories, some sad and some happy.

_Listen to your heart and not your body, what is is telling you?_

The fox thought perhaps it was too soon; a scant two weeks had passed, hardly enough time to work through such a heavy loss. She understood, very deeply, that Sam needed affection and touch both as a werewolf and as a man but that he would not seek out any woman to fill that hole now that Von was dead. His heart belonged to Von though he had wronged her greatly, the fact that Sam was now able to realize how much of him belonged to the witch made the fox happy.

She was not sad or jealous now had she or would she try to win Sam over. The fox was left for Sam whether consciously or otherwise by Von to aid him while he grieved. She was there to lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on what was not clear was if she was left to fill Sam's other needs. She was able to give him friendship and was willing to give him companionship but wasn't sure if that would cross lines Von would not approve of. Her desire was not to tempt Sam and she felt horrible for doing so. The fox wished she had been able to ask Von what was acceptable and what would be a betrayal of her love. But she did not have the strength to venture into the deep; dark pits of Hell and if she did it would not be to ask questions but to bring Von back to Sam.

She lay on her side, tail curled over her hip and covering her front, her black tipped fingers brushing the fur absently. So close to Sam but she was comfortable and had no apprehensions towards him. She welcomed him coming closer as they had often snuggled and played together but her thoughts were elsewhere as was shown by the wistful expression on her face.

Inhaling and thinking he really concentrated. "It's telling me that I need to wake up. I need to find Von and bring her back. That even though you are apart of her in some way, that it wouldn't be right. I'm sorry...I need to go." Sam gave her a kiss on the cheek as a goodbye before he awoke. His eyes fluttering open and he yawned, tongue rolling out before he sat up and knew he was all healed. Perfectly back together. Standing on the bed fully he shook his body, rearranging the fur and stretching as he stepped off before he looked at his brother.

_Clothes?_

Watching Dean gesture towards his duffel he gave a nod before grabbing it with his teeth and headed into the bathroom, nudging the door closed with his nose before he began to shift back. He'd take a shower to wash off the grime and blood and then he'd talk to Dean. He hoped that Dean wasn't too worried but seeing what little he did of his brother after waking, he could tell that Dean had been scared and concerned. Sam was glad that even Dean hadn't shunned his little brother from those categories.

Dean watched over Sam like a hawk, not the first time in his life and not the last. After a while he managed to get Sam's mammoth body up onto the bed furthest from the door and covered his lower torso with a blanket in case he changed back while he healed. Torture would never get him to admit he prayed to whom ever would listen sending verbal libations skyward and hoping someone, something would take pity upon his pathetic mortal self.

Whether anyone answered he would never know, all he cared about was that Sam was back on his feet, he may as yet have unspoken issues with his brother but he was still his brother. When he heard the shower running he leaned back with a sigh as he closed his eyes, the weight of sleep albeit alcohol induced sat heavily upon his shoulders. Dean would wait until he was one hundred percent sure that Sam was all right and then he had to head off to Dreamland in order to sleep off some more booze.


	7. Chapter 7

Finishing scrubbing down and changing he had returned to the main part of their motel room. Going to his bed he sat down and shook his hair, not caring that droplets flew but he felt better from it. Sam dropped his duffel off at the nightstand and then sat facing Dean who was on the other bed. "We are dealing with a shape shifter and my guess is that we are dealing with more than one since the car that hit me picked up that thing," he said, starting off simple before he finally got to the other bits. "And speaking of which I think it's time you lay off the alcohol, that or leave it to a small minimum. I'd like to not get rammed into again by you and be the only one working on this hunt on full cylinders."

He knew that he probably didn't need to tell his brother this and that he was already thinking about it but it was just how he was. Reminding Dean of things that he either already knew or claimed he knew. Either way, he wanted to get the point across. Sam looked down at his torso and noticed that he was still a little bruised but otherwise the rest had healed and the bruises were vanishing, though taking some time. He wasn't tired, he had been getting more sleep than he ever thought he could and instead of laying down like Dean looked ready to do, he pulled on the shirt he was holding and stood, going to his laptop bag and heading to the table to set up station.

"I think we should work on this case while we are on the search for Donnie," Sam said as he typed a few characters to get to the main screen on his laptop.

_In a way it'd be like redemption. Hunting again, saving people until we can save Von and Alex. The more I save the more I can try and make up for what I did. For what I failed at doing. Though nothing would ever really feel like redemption until Von and Alex are back._

"So I'm going to look at the map of the town, make some markers on sewer systems and anywhere suspicious. You sleep and then when you wake up we can try and go looking for them to finish this and get back on to finding Donnie. I'll try searching for him as well."

"Yeah."

Dean flicked his hand blindly in the air and pushed himself up on the bed turning his back to Sam and closing his eyes. He was too tired to negotiate which nightmare would haunt him this time, memories from Hell or images of Alex dead and bloody on the floor or perhaps some macabre mixture of the two. Alcohol didn't help with the nightmares it only cause distraction when he was awake making him more concerned about keeping his balance instead of the horror show latched between each synapse. Exhaling deeply Dean let himself fall into unconsciousness, it couldn't really be called sleep, and it would be far from restful and certainly not peaceful in the slightest sense.

888

He had taken a break, a nice little break and ventured somewhere begging for peace and yet knew that it wouldn't come. Leon emerged into Dean's dream the moment he fully fell into slumber, knowing the moment he did without any alcohol to cloud his mind and he sat there in the bar that Dean had placed himself in. So really he couldn't leave the liquor in sleep either. He chuckled and shook his head, wiping the glass, knowing his body was different to Dean until he'd actually turn around. Once he did and he poured out what Dean wanted to drink he wiped the table looking at him as he wasn't paying attention.

"You look like you've been knocked down a few pegs buddy," Leon voiced, watching with delight as Dean froze in mid-drink and his eyes focused on him. "Hello there. How are things going? What's new? Anything exciting besides the pool you're drowning your brother and yourself in? I'm just fine, I'm dandy, Alex is too. Though she could scream it down that I'm lying. Thought I'd take a lunch break while she gets acquainted with the others. So as you have already figured out...Alex is in Hell."

Going and helping another customer he knew that Dean was about to go for a weapon and Leon had thought of removing all weapons from this dream. No violence for once. Leon could be caring and give heart to hearts now and then, though he didn't choose to stick to it.

"Now, now Dean I only came to talk. You are free from torture this time as I am placing all my skills and...other commodities upon our dear Alex. Did you know that when she arrived and was getting torn apart, she screamed your name? I believe that is what you did, except it was Sam's. Ironic how the one you love comes out during that climax of a scream." Turning back to the hunter he leaned back against the area behind him and stared with a smile. "As a customer and bartender relationship goes you should know that you must fulfill the bargain that comes along with sitting down at my bar...to answer me back. Talk about your problems. I'm here to listen and give commentary."

"My problem is can't you find some other poor bastard to mind fuck?" Dean leaned back with a surly curl of his lip and pushed away the glass that Leon had offered him, for all he knew it was poison.

He couldn't even be left alone in his own thoughts without someone barging in and wanting to either rub his loss in his face or jump start the healing. Glowering at the demon he stood from the stool and started walking to the door of the establishment pushing his way past the doors. Leon was the last person he wanted to see and if he had a gun, which Leon took away he would have blasted the demon's dick off watched the expression on his face then blast his face off as well. It wouldn't kill him but it might have made Dean feel a lot better about some demon who had tortured him as well as Alex and Von trying to have a heart to heart.

Pouting he popped up outside where Dean was walking and walked beside, giving distance though he loved that he could rile up the hunter and possibly make him want to strangle him until he turned blue. But they both knew that he wouldn't die. Leon searched the area and licked his lips. "I could find someone else, but no one is nearly as fun as you. Now I know why Alex took a liking to you, an interest. You are too fun to pick at mentally, emotionally and physically. You know what I don't get, is why you? Kind of like Kayden. I don't understand how she could love a human and let them fuck her. She's what she is. But I'll get my chance. I always see to. As for Von...if you want to know anything about that red headed strumpet I'm sorry I can't give anything. I know things but then again I also _know_ things. Like when it's not my place to delve into that woman's affairs. Did you know she's picky? She's giving everyone attention but not bothering little ol' me. Not yet at least."

Scuffing his shoe on the dirt he smiled and stopped Dean, turning him around and staring dead into his eyes.

"I want you to know that when I'm done with Alex, she'll never crawl back to you. Ever. Now that you know what she is, well, more about what she really is, you still love that slut. If you only knew what she did then maybe you wouldn't love her. Knew what she was going to do, capable of. She's holding on I'll give her that, with the crying and the 'helps' and the writhing on my table. If you saw her Dean, I do not doubt you would enjoy it being that you carved into the same beings that I do, except my work is better. Here's a snippet to hold onto and think about," Leon said, his hands gripping Dean's head on both sides, watching him fall to his knees before him as he took in a moment of Alex's pain and suffering.

Pulling back he wiped his hands on a handkerchief he removed from his jeans, the gel from Dean's hair both disgusting him and making him thoughtful. Eying the hunter as he continued to see the play-by-play, replaying it in his head without Leon encouraging more to enter into his brain. Nope. This was a little gift to him, Leon wanted Dean to suffer because he honestly hated that Alex had chosen Dean over him to give herself to. Leon had liked Alex, thought that maybe they would be partners in crime and fuck buddies as a bonus but no. She refused him that when she made him, refused him of that when he was the one turning the tables on souls while she watched and having their own private moments of teasing each other. Alex wouldn't give him an inch. No kissing, no touching, no fucking. Yet he had managed to scare her in her dreams but it was nothing compared to the real thing.

Now that she had betrayed their kind, her own special breed as well and him in turn he despised what she had become. Though delicious but he hated that she still held love this hunter, for the previous one before Dean. His lip twitched and switched his facial features to a grin as he discovered that Dean was now officially back with him. "Enjoy the ride?"

Dean staggered to his feet, bracing hands against knees, then his fist came up and connected with Leon's nose smashing it against his smug handsome face. Sending the demon sprawling on his ass the hunter stood over top of him grabbing the scruff of his shirt and hauling him to knock him back down into the pavement with another fist. Leon probably thought he knew him well enough by now to know that he had a hard enough time dealing with his own forty years in Hell without adding the knowledge of a loved one down there.

He had a hard time thinking on anything but Alex and what Leon had been doing to her, what he was still doing to her that he had to keep hitting Leon in order to shove down any tingle of what he had to turn into in Hell in order to survive. And what of Von, why wouldn't Leon speak about her, if he could show and tell with one why wouldn't he with the other? Giving everyone attention but not bothering little ol' Leon, was the demon actually offended that he was left out?

Grabbing Dean's fist his eyes flashed black and he held him there. Pushing Dean's fist back into his own face he laughed and smiled, shaking his head. "Why are you hitting yourself? You keep hitting yourself and you know you should be," Leon said, knocking Dean back and placing power over to hold Dean down on the ground. "The reason you should be is because you made the mistake of not killing Alex sooner. The moment you found out that she was a half-demon you should have put a bullet in her brain instead of fucking her brains out. That sweet delicious and yet slutty cunt of hers. Don't tell me that you don't find it repulsive and scary that you fell in love and fucked the Anti-Christ. Please, I know better than that and I know things."

Kicking out at the hunter, right in his legs and placing his foot right on top of Dean's crotch he lightly added pressure as he glared at Dean.

"I can't say that she's a fucking good fuck to compare notes with you because so far the only dick has let inside her was you...oh wait that changed. It was that guy named Stef back when Luka took you four. Oh wait...and then it was Apollo, but then again that never really happened, as it was only just a dream. She didn't tell you? Oh and one last one. She fucked one last guy and you had no sweet clue. Think about it, she almost screwed Trent and then what? You think she just stayed off the wagon and turned over to Ruby? Fuck no. I'll let you brew with that information to come up with conclusions. But who's to say that what you come up with is right or wrong?"

Another kick and he bent down, his knee taking place where his foot had been, one hand holding him up and the other in Dean's hair, fisted as he stared dead into Dean's orbs. What gave him the right to fuck Alex first? If anything it should have been him. He was her creation, he was the one she spent the most time with, the one that always toyed him on and got so close but yet always pushed away. He'd change that in Hell. He would.

"Morning Dean," he finished, bringing his mouth to Dean's and forcing his tongue inside and quickly removing it before Dean had the sense to bite. Pulling back he was gone.

Dean's eyes snapped open and he reached a needy hand to the nightstand for his fifth of whiskey to find that it wasn't there. Checking over the edge of the bed it wasn't on the carpet and from what he could tell without sliding off and hitting the floor it wasn't under the bed either. Lifting his head up he glared when he found the bottle next to Sam on his laptop; pushing himself to his feet he stomped over and grabbed the bottle. Twisting it open he chugged a good mouthful needing the lingering taste of Leon's tongue out of his mouth.

"Why was this over here?" Dean sloshed the bottle accusingly at his brother, taking another pull from it and wiping his mouth on the back of his arm. Sam should know better than to be stealing his shit and he knew that Sam had taken it because the damn bottle didn't grow legs and skip towards Sam with the intent of letting him give it a good suck.

"Do you honestly think that you are the only one that drinks in this motel room? Besides, I only had two small pulls and you need to lie back on the liquor anyways. Nightmare?" Sam replied, his brow rising at his brother snapping at him and he could tell from where he was sitting how fast Dean's heart was going. However he didn't know what it was about but his guess was it was about the girls. Inhaling he brought the laptop to attention. "I've researching for a long time and I've found the things I needed, though there isn't much about Donnie, just that he performs now and then at bars."

Sam turned towards Dean and took the bottle from him taking a small pull, very small, as he knew he shouldn't be drinking more than small pulls and handed it back. As for the stuff he had researched on shape shifters in town, it turned out there were more bodies lying in alleys that were brought into the morgue for the last month. There was definitely a hunt in the town and they needed to do it. They couldn't ignore their job despite their want to and find Donnie to get the girls back. It wasn't that simple. They both still had a conscience.

"What about the Shifters?"

Dean grabbed the bottle again and stepped out of reach of Sam so he couldn't take it. His promise to himself about needing less alcohol wasn't panning out and he wanted to drink out of spite for Sam telling him he should lay off it. What he really wanted to do was leave town and find this Donnie guy, hand over this gig to some other hunters nearby, it was just a couple of Shifters anyone who could shoot could get the job done. As hunters they had an obligation to uphold to save people, it was more of a curse really, they were already here they knew what was going on so they were the ones that had to deal with it.

He was also beginning to have doubts about bringing Alex back despite what Leon had made him see because it was also what Leon had said that struck a nerve with him. In case anyone thought Dean had forgotten Alex was also the Anti-Christ, one of the people solely responsible for the Apocalypse. Dean had broken the first Seal and set the domino affect in motion then Sam was the one that jump started Judgment Day, did they really want to be the ones responsible for freeing the Anti-Christ to buddy up with Lucifer?

Taking a long hard pull Dean lowered his drinking arm and ran his other hand through his greasy hair, it had probably been a couple days at least since he last showered. With everything that was going on he hadn't bothered to pay attention to his hygiene as much as he used to. Over the past two weeks he had shed some pounds from not eating, nothing too extreme yet and his clothes hid it well enough. There were dark sunken circles under his eyes that contrasted grimly with his blood shot orbs; sleep had helped but not enough to remove all traces of it. He knew what his brother must have thought of him and Dean hated him for apparently handling it better than he was. Where was the mopey head in the hands Sam that was cradling a bottle of scotch and crying his pillow into a soggy mess?

After Madison he had been pretty messed up and that was a fling, and of course there was Jessica the love of Sam's life, when she died Sam could think of nothing but finding what killed her. He had wanted to blow off jobs that their dad had sent them on, nothing was as important as hunting down the evil thing that murdered Jessica and finding their dad. Dean kept his mouth shut about it, maybe the alcohol was affecting his brain or maybe he was just mad at everything and wanted a fight where some demon wasn't trying to cut off his balls and rape him. Shuffling towards the washroom he closed the door and locked it, something he usually never did when Sam was around and went to take a leak, then he'd think about taking a shower.

The moment his brother went into the bathroom before he could even explain more on the shifters, he signed, raising his voice as he began to talk about how he found a location that seemed pretty good to look into and search. Standing he went to Dean's duffel and began searching for something else while Dean was in the bathroom. Taking any bottle of liquor that he found which surprisingly was a lot, and headed towards the sink of the tiny kitchenette. Popping one lid after the other he poured it down the drain before tossing the bottles away in the garbage can underneath the sink. Coming back to the table after cleaning everything up he knew that this was good for Dean.

_He won't be happy about this and might yell at me. But he needs to get his head on straight. All he does is drink and mope. I would love to do that myself but I know that there are more important matters that should be dealt with and looked at._

"And take a shower Dean, you wreak!" Sam added.

His plan was to break Dean away from alcohol, well as best as he could, not all but lighter alcohol and in small increments rather than a whole bottle. Then make him take a shower, catch some sleep even though they both didn't want to in spite of nightmares and such, and then the final thing before hunting. Eating. He'd drag Dean to a diner and force him to eat what he ordered him. Was it just Sam or had the tables really flipped on the brothers? At first all Sam wanted was to find things head on and forget about everything else that was important and now Dean was doing that and Sam was acting more rationally. In Dean's place like he was at that time.

"Don't forget to brush your teeth!"

Dean flipped the door off. "Fuck you!" he grumbled around clenched teeth not giving a flying rat's ass if Sam heard him with his bionic ears.

Stripping down he leaned on the sink and stared hard into the mirror, he really did look like hammered shit and the signs of skinny were starting to show with his bottom ribs showing under the skin. Stepping into the shower stall after convincing himself a shower would be worth it he turned the water on and let it get hot enough before turning on the overhead spray. He stood there for a while and let the water soak him through naively wishing it could wash away the images planted in his head, he wanted blackness and peace and nothingness.

But he couldn't leave Sam, what if he got in trouble, who would be the other idiot to come and save him. Not that Dean was worth much, less now then he had ever been in his own eyes and those of others. Wasted beyond what would end most in a hospital Dean wasn't much help to anyone. Knowing that wasn't going to get him out of this rut, getting Alex and Von back would that would a big fuck you to the master plan.

Hearing the words directed at him plain and clear he shook his head, inhaled and sighed. Sam had ordered pizza to be delivered to their room not long ago and shortly after he heard the car pull up with the smell of pizza. Standing he went to answer the door before the knock could come, paying for the food and coming back inside. So the diner wasn't going to be an option because frankly he wasn't even sure he would get Dean to one even if he tricked him. That wouldn't be good to pile on to the mountain of distrust that was already there. Still hearing the water he took out the slice from his box and placed the other box on Dean's bed.

The sudsy water slipped down over his body and into the drain, washing away days of dirt and sweat, it had lost its magical ability to flush the weight of Dean's emotions and the burden of his responsibilities. Beyond the shower curtain and the door would be Sam on his laptop and the cold clarity that Alex wouldn't be there with a smile and smart remark.

_Maybe she'd be off fucking someone else, who the fuck are Stef and Apollo and the third guy_...

What was worse was, why was he even caring about it? It wasn't like they had been boyfriend and girlfriend. They didn't sign anything that said they had to be loyal or monogamous. He loved her, or thought he did, which gave him the dumb idea that she must have felt the same and he never looked at another girl after that. Dean wrapped a towel around his waist and exited the bathroom noticing the pizza right away because the smell had filled the small room. His stomach lurched in hunger and disgust and he walked over to actually open up the box before he closed it again with empty hands.

He couldn't bring himself to be up for eating so he went to his duffle instead to grab some clothes and get dressed. Digging through he noticed a selection of items missing but thought maybe that they had settled to the bottom of the bag. Putting on boxers, jeans and a green shirt he was to find differently when he searched his bag for his pain relieving elixirs. "Sam!" Dean turned with a glare that promised Sam a violent and sloppy death. The single name said it all, you went messing around in my stuff and where was the booze and I'm not eating the pizza you dumb bitch.

Turning his seat he stared at his brother. "I did it because that's all you seem to care about and you need to eat. Otherwise you won't be any help," Sam replied matter-of-fact.

_I sense a fight coming along and it is going to start from Dean's mouth and land right in my face._

"I don't want to have to babysit you when you clearly know how to handle situations like this." Sam stood and moved over to the box of pizza and pushed it into Dean's hands. "My turn to make you eat." He hinted toward the pizza moment in the panic room. "And damn it Dean, stop it with the alcohol!" The shout left him as he snatched the bottle of whiskey had taken with him into the bathroom and back out. Going over to the sink he went to pour it down the drain like the rest.

"Don't tell me how to fucking deal with shit," Dean shouted and grabbed Sam's arm to wrestle away what remained of the alcohol in the bottle.

The elder brother had always come up winning when it came to fist fights between the two, Dean was just better when it came to that. Sam was super wolf charged now though and getting the bottle out of his hands was a real feat of violence and skill. The glass couldn't take much more clanging and broke into shards in the sink to chase down the rest of the whiskey. Angry, Dean made fists of his bloody sliced up hands and struck Sam in the temple with a blind swing.

"Fuck you and your self-righteous intervention, what right do you think you have to act like you're Dad and control my life? Like I don't have enough shit tryin' to do that for me!" Dean took another swing, coming up an inch too short when Sam dodged, Dean growled back at Sam when the werewolf gave him a warning. "You'd be drowning right in the liquor with me if you weren't so piss ass scared of letting Mr. Hyde loose, as if you haven't hurt enough people by being an ignorant prick and going back to that demon bitch and starting the goddamn Apocalypse!"

His eyes changed to amber in that instant. Sam tightened his jaw and he huffed out, glaring at him. Blinking he changed his eyes back and he swallowed. "Thanks for rubbing it my face Dean. Just what I needed to hear aloud and from my own brother," he growled, pushing past Dean and heading out the door of the motel room.

Walking and walking he was just going to keep going as long as his anger fueled him as long as his pain fueled him. He wasn't too far from the motel, but he managed to get to a park, a nice abandoned park where he could let off some steam. Sitting down on the swing, it creaked and he glared at the wood chips beneath him. He'd used to come to parks with Von...well more like find her when she needed to be alone. It reminded him of when he had found Von at that one park in Ekalaka shortly before the whole mess up of the Incubus. Kicking out, the wood chips flew and a dirt streak was left behind where they should have covered.

_"What right do you think you have to act like Dad and control my life...as if you haven't hurt enough people..."_

Stepping onto the woodchips the woman approached Sam and sat next to him on the adjacent swing, hands gliding up the chain and swinging just a bit to give her movement. She knew he heard her but he was too lost in thought to look up, and beside he couldn't smell her for miles, she had made sure of that. Her long red hair tumbled down loose covering half of her face, brown leather jacket and ripped blue jeans with biker boots that scuffed over the wood chips absently. Then their eyes met at the same time and the woman smiled with sparkling green eyes like she didn't notice how shocked and bewildered Sam was like everything was normal like it used to be.

"Hey," she said softly in greeting like she had just come back from a short errand and was now there to spend some quality time with him. All alone together on the swings, just like they used to.

Sam's face was full of shock and he looked her over to make sure it was really real and he reached out to touch her and bringing his hand back slowly when he found her a solid body. "Von...how..." he said, climbing out of his seat and instantly pulling her up and into him, his arms embracing her as his eyes grew determined to keep her there forever.

"Does it matter?" she hugged him back and breathed him in with a smile. Opening her eyes another set of lids blinked to bright glowing irises before blinking normally back to forest green. Von pulled away from Sam with a smile and gave him a light kiss on the lips, running a hand through his hair and then giving another kiss. "I missed you." This was too easy, the way Sam was eyeing her like a lost puppy that found it's owner she could practically see the mutt's tail wagging feverishly with excitement.

"Yes it matters, I want to know. I...you were dead. I watched you die," Sam voiced, searching her green orbs and he brushed her hair out of her face before meeting her lips, needing to taste what he had longed for, needing her pressed to him once more. The kiss was needy and heated and then pulled back, trying to decipher things and hold off on how happy he was as he was very happy. "And Alex? Is she alive?"

She savored the kiss; she always wanted to know how werewolves tasted. They were delicious, all warm, gooey and hot. Nodding she went in for another kiss, "Yes," she smiled, cupping his cheek. Maybe if she could trick him long enough she could have some real good fun before she had to snuff him. Resting her fingers on his lips she looked up into his eyes, he was so alive with joy it was nauseating, how anyone could love a single person this much she would never understand.

Furrowing his brows when she went back to kiss him, he was trying to figure it out as he had asked the question. It was when he noticed it along with her answer. This wasn't Von. Von wouldn't have been happy to mention that Alex was back and nor would she have been happy to even see him after him leaving her at that motel room. What little alcohol he had had kind of dulled his senses but his wolf side kicked in at the kiss. It was different and tasted nothing like Von, no Andes mint flavor something entirely the opposite. Growling, his eyes flared amber and he bared his teeth.

"You're not Von," he said, his reaction time was slow when he felt something stab into his lower abdomen and he blinked, confusion marring his face and he looked down to find a syringe. He fell to the ground and tried to blink, animal tranquilizer. "De..." he tried to yell, not getting too far as he blacked out in that moment.


	8. Chapter 8

Opening the door to the motel room, she had kept a good eye on the hunters and moving inside like she simply stepped out, she smiled at Dean as his back was to her and closed the door. Walking up behind him as he wasn't about to turn around thinking it was Sam she slowly slid her hands around his waist. "Miss me?" she voiced, feeling him tense up and turn around to face her finally she stared into his green orbs. "Hey Dean."

Jerking away Dean got to his feet in a hurry; fear lacing his features and tensing his body to prepare for an attack. His mouth worked until he could get the words out, "Alex, you, you were dead how are you...?" He looked her up and down everything about her seemed right, but he couldn't shake the feeling of dread. Did Alex find a way out, was she released or was she saved?

Alex's face fell when he didn't appear happy to see her. Blinking fast she tried to figure it out, or at least appear like she was, as the real Alex would have done. Licking her lips she brought her eyes to Dean. "Castiel saved me. He did mention not to tell you that he was indeed capable of it and that you would be angry. I...I've been up for some time Dean. I've had time to get back to myself and believe me it wasn't easy. I, I just missed you. I needed to see you and see if you were all right and fuck Castiel. That's not right for him to have lied to you." She stepped closer to him and she then stopped noticing that he was scared. "You're not happy to see me..." Face filling with sadness she closed her mouth and turned around her eyes flicking different than what they should have.

_This is so much fun, bringing up that bitch Alex to get Dean off our tails._

"I'm sorry, you know. I didn't mean to hurt you from what I did to you before I had to leave. I knew that if I stayed that there was no way that any of you would have let me live or worse..." she spoke, bringing up the memories and thoughts of what Alex had indeed been thinking.

Dean was relieved to see Alex alive and he did want to go over to her and hold her afraid that she would disappear otherwise. Yet with all that he had learned and seen within the last days his anger was boiling over to homicidal. Shaking his head with a wry grin, everyone lied to him because everyone thought that Dean was the idiot, the one that wouldn't see through the smokescreen because he was too busy with his head up his ass or in some chick's boobs. Little white lies or big fucking fat ones, tricks and deception.

Could he forgive Alex for what she had done? Dean knew some of it wasn't a lie because he had been there but could he really rely on Leon to have told him the truth about her infidelity, he was a demon and demon's lied all the time to get what they wanted? The thing was Leon hadn't been his usually giddy self, talking about Alex and her sex life the guy was bitter and no nonsense where there had been joking and teasing before. Some men couldn't take being shunned by a woman they were infatuated with no matter how many women they might have gotten afterwards.

Dean never took Leon for being that kind of guy, looking back on it however he could kind of see it. Like him, the charismatic asshole was all a cover for some lonely messed up fuck underneath. "Why did you do it?" Dean swallowed and blinked the tears collecting in his hazel-green eyes, angry depressed tears that refused to let fall down his cheeks except one that insisted.

"You have to be more specific Dean," she said and then it clicked. "Oh. You mean..." Trailing off, Alex nodded her head, inhaling deeply. Taking time to soak up what she could from Alex's brain, even in Hell there were lingering things, some things that Alex might have never told Dean on a personal level unless confronted but she could have her fun. "It was like a switch went off in my brain. My body. One moment I was fine and the next, I just wanted to do it. I didn't care if I liked him or not and I apparently didn't care that I would hurt you or even Von. I left because it was wrong, once snapped back. I knew that you were still going to be mermaid struck and that hurt me a lot, especially finding you with-" A pause as she choked and then pushed it down. "Ruby seemed to understand at the time and I felt alone in that moment and like a monster. So she helped me forget, except I really couldn't completely. It still hurt and it still does. I never meant to hurt you. Not anyone. I learned the hard way that I trusted someone I shouldn't have...because I'm dumb and vulnerable. Is that what you want to hear? It's the truth."

Dean was silent, what could he say to any of that without it sounding belligerent and accusatory. He felt bad for her yet he wanted to slap her he closed his eyes hard when images of Alex on the table being cut open by Leon invaded his mind. Pushing them down he opened his eyes, "You knew I couldn't stop that, I was poisoned."

_But when you fucked those other men were you poisoned too? I fucking doubt it_.

"We could have helped you Alex, Von could have come up with something." Dean tried to keep down his emotions and he had his fists clenched at his sides to keep the anger, relief and sadness at bay. What he wouldn't give for some alcohol right now, but his dumbass brother had washed it down the sink. "Speaking of, is Von back too?"

She stared at him, giving a nod to his question. She really hated being Alex, because the dead bitch was no good from what she had heard. And yet she couldn't help but feel that sadness and get a little angry from the woman as the emotions she was picking up from past memories. Alex harbored a lot of shit. "What? What were you thinking just now? Don't tell me it was nothing, when I know your facial expressions as well as you do including the look in your eyes."

_Fuck why did I have to choose this bitch? I'm starting to feel for her. I should have chosen Von, and then at least I wouldn't have to deal with this weird connection to Alex's brain and memories. Her thoughts._

"It was nothing," Dean insisted, shrugging off Alex's insistent stare as he moved towards her, keeping a safe distance. There was something niggling at the back of his mind; something that even his alcohol addled brain couldn't miss. Alex never talked about her shortcomings not in such an open book way of vulnerability and that set off all kinds of alarm bells off in Dean's head. He couldn't make his move yet, he had to get to his gun with the silver ammo and to do that he had to get past Alex. "I was just thinking how I was gonna pluck out Castiel's wings ya know, for keeping this from me, it's a big deal and the way he acts I'm not sure if he's a friend or foe."

Dean walked casually past and did a quick check of Alex in his peripheral. He sounded like he had given into the brunette's insistent questions giving the right amount of reluctance to his tone with a heavy handed sigh. Dean settled on going through his things rather casually while her back was turned and pulled out his Colt 1911 with the silver rounds. Training the muzzle at the back of Alex's head Dean thumbed back the hammer and set his jaw.

"Who do you think you're foolin'?"

Alex turned around slowly and grinned, moving closer only slightly she stopped when he gave a little warning. "I wouldn't shoot me Dean, you'll never find Sammy that way," she said. She was close enough, ducking out of the way as she grabbed the barrel, forcing it in another direction, bringing her leg up into a high kick she kicked Dean in the head to send him on the floor and the gun now with her. Turning it on him and backing up, she knew not to leave him there with much to do so she pointed the weapon at his thigh, enough to graze it and make it hurt and bleed. "And who am I fooling? Well, let's see, a drunken hunter that has a slow reaction time that won't stop moping around for a bitch's death."

The shape shifter began to unload the silver bullets from the chamber and pocketed them before throwing the gun far away from the two. Stepping just a tad closer but still being wary she knew what Winchesters were capable of. But apparently they had changed ever so slightly with their weakness being women, two specific ones. It was almost too easy and the hunters knew it.

"Just because Alex wouldn't say what I did out loud doesn't mean that she's not feeling it, not thinking it and that it isn't at all true. Trust me, I'm a shape shifter, I download more than you can fathom." She shrugged off the jacket she was wearing and tossed it aside. "I don't mind the body Alex has don't get me wrong, but she has too much baggage to really keep it. The memories, the thoughts...it's fucking pathetic and chaotic." A beat. "You know you really should stop drinking Dean, then you wouldn't get into these kinds of situations along the road. I mean, why did I ever decide that you should have been my first when you can't even take care of yourself properly and get your own brother hurt? Sammy is practically like a little brother to me. And you let him run off while your sorry drunk ass couldn't follow till too little too late." She kicked out at the hunter and stepped back.

_And my fun begins._

"You've gotta be kiddin' me," Dean gripped his leg and glared up at the Shifter, "can I skip to the screw you part then you can shoot me for real this time, unless your aim sucks that much." The graze would heal quickly enough; if he was lucky the Shifter hadn't gleaned that tidbit of information from Alex's memories. "How are getting her memories anyway, ya know, considering..."

"Oh very easily. She still has feelings where she is. She still has thoughts and memories. How do you think that any shifter can change into anybody? I mean I can change into John or Mary very easily because they still have those memories; they still have those thoughts where they are. Hell can strip away things Dean, but it can never strip away those things. Those moments. Those thoughts they will always think about along with the pain," she replied. "For instance..." she paused, appearing to be thinking before she got serious, "I still remember the time that I told you that I loved you and you said it back and I even remember when I first met you when we were teenagers. The sight of you made me very squeamish and then you showed that cockiness and the give hell attitude that made me want to hurl."

The shifter kicked Dean again, this time in the lower extremities, knowing from Alex's personal experiences that she had quite the knack for finding that perfect spot to knock the breath out of men. Out of Dean. She made a look of disgust at him.

"It makes me sick how easily you hunters, you humans can fall into love, drown in emotions and be that gross to each other. Everything is much simpler when emotions don't get in the way." Coming down a bit she grabbed Dean's chin and held his face level to hers, her eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips she forced hers on his and groaned, pulling back she pushed him away. "Now Dean, I'm going to do your brother, Bobby and yourself a favor. I'm going to kill you because let's face it you're in my way. You've always been in my way whether it be potential or doing the job." Going over to Dean's weapons, she observed the items and chose one interesting looking knife with etchings into the blade. She grinned at it, she'd heard about this thing but never really seen it in person.

Dean choked on the air he was greedily sucking in when the taste of bile burned up his throat, he was curled into as small a ball as possible. The graze was healed but now a new pain had taken it's place and it was a doozy. "Bitch," he grumbled into the carpet, spitting out the taste she left in his mouth, it tasted like raw bloody meat. "Why does everything have to tongue fuck me in the mouth?"

Rising to his feet as swiftly and silently as he could he took one step and fell into an instant lunge tackling the Shifter to the ground with a grunt. A mad wrestling match ensued, Dean howled in pain when the knife became stuck in his arm but he took the fake Alex by the hair anyway and yanked with all his might making her scream and choke when he forced her head back at an awkward angle.

Swallowing as her throat felt strained. Bringing her eyes to him as she winced. "Does this remind you of something Dean? Like the time when you beat me up and almost killed me because of Leon. Because of your thirst for blood. Or do you really think that killing me in Alex's form will help the situation? In reality, this body reminds you of Alex, this voice does and when I lie here dead, all that emotion is going to creep up and you'll have to get rid of the body. Like you never could to the _real_ body of Alex. Think long and hard on that." The shifter grinned and let out a long scared scream, mimicking that of Alex's in Hell and that time that she was mentioning. "DEAN! Please don't hurt me anymore! HELP!"

Watching him falter, she went for her opportunity and twisted her body around, with his grip still in her hair, swinging her leg around to trip him and being pulled on top. Forcing her head down to his head for a head butt she watched him fall unconscious. Fixing her hair she stood, grabbing him by the wrists and dragging him towards the bed, lifting him up with effort she went to his duffel to grab ropes that she knew he had as well as handcuffs. Securing him in she went to the door to the motel room when a knock came. Stopping just at it, she removed her shirt and tossed it aside as well as the shoes, socks and jeans before answering, letting some of her body show through the little opening at the manager before her.

"Is everything alright in there Miss? There were sounds that-"

"Everything is fine, we are just..." Alex bit her bottom lip and glanced back with a giggle, pretending to hit someone playfully and voicing 'stop it'. "Doing a little role playing. You know how it is, keeping it alive and all. Is that all you came here about?"

Seeing him nod she closed the door, apologizing and saying they'll be quieter, before locking the door and heading back to the hunter. Slowly crawling on top of him, she wanted fun and playing Alex like this was fun when it came to Dean. Slowly arching her back into him, sliding her breasts just over his package and up on his chest she straddled him and watched his eyes flutter.

"Doesn't this bring back memories of that time I raped you when you were poisoned? I know for me it does."

Dean's eyes fluttered and he winced at the skull splitting pain that lanced through his head. Squinting he brought his eyes to focus and for a dreamy half second thought he might have been dreaming when it all came crashing back down on him. This wasn't Alex; it was a Shifter with another twisted sense of fun and one that had an infatuation with Dean much like one before that chose to take his shape. What was it about him that attracted the freaks he didn't know, maybe his award winning personality or his perky nipples or maybe because in many ways he was a freak himself.

"Yeah memories. I also remember you trying to rape Von's Were buddy, that went over real well, since you're willin' to give up on Alex's big secrets who else have you fucked?" The last of the question came out without Dean consciously intending to but now it was out for all to know. It bothered Dean a great deal even though he had once been a horn dog, a leader of the pack if you will, but it was Alex that had him thinking that maybe he could do the relationship thing. He was wrong and his heart was broken into a million pieces because of it.

Alex leaned back and her hands began to play underneath his shirts, finding that he had lost the tone that Alex had remembered, just slightly and she sniffed before licking her lips. "Oh that's a juicy one Dean, really harboring inside you isn't it? Wondering whom Alex did. Okay well, I can play along. There was Stef, you know him, he was the one that I fucked because of Luka but you got angry at me, that was your first sign that you had gotten too attached to one lone female. Before Stef it was Apollo, but you never knew him and that was a dream anyways, not like it really happened. But didn't mean I thought it wasn't in a way real. It felt it. He was the guy I shot when we were in that town where I got nailed to that cross."

Pausing, the shifter took hold of his shirts and lifted them higher to observe, piercing her lips she had seen better, and he had let himself go which was a shame. Here she was looking forward to seeing what all the hype was about Dean Winchester. Though there was still something there it wasn't enough to wow her. The memory of him looking better had her hopes up. Her eyes landed back on his and that's when she really grinned.

"But now the juicy part, the kicker. The last guy I fucked, well that wasn't too long before I died Dean. Who was the only guy that I was around close to that time? I had a buddy who helped me and now let's see...I enjoyed it but after don't get me wrong I really laid on the guilt, trying to shove it down to get the job done was a task and even though I acted tough, I was a real pussy. The guy I fucked...was Sam. Your own blood brother. And he was good too, I mean having sex with a werewolf and Ruby...it was a very powerful experience. He wasn't so sure at first but once you add blood to the equation, you can get a wolf to do just about anything." Alex paused. "However, Sam wouldn't stop beating himself up. I'm not about to get into the sappy stuff about how Alex really did hate herself because she knew that she was hurting you and betraying you and even though she liked it, it did break her heart...blah, blah, blah. Readers Digest. Don't be too hard on her. It's not like you signed a contract or anything or labeled it as a relationship. So what? You both said you loved each other, but love? Come on Dean. Seriously. Love?"

The shifter leaned in and rested her hands flat on his Pecs, her face inches from his, brows quirked and head tilted slightly. She knew that what she said was hurting him like no other and he might have even been contemplating on whether she was toying with him or telling the truth. It was a nice fight inside. But she was telling the truth, the gods honest truth, even about Alex and Sam really feeling bad about it. She knew that they would never really go in that direction again if Alex was still alive and they had the chance. One time moment that they both regretted and thought was necessary during the act, but deep down, Sam would always love Von. And Alex...

"Alex is such a dirty slut. And you Dean, are no better."

Dean couldn't stand to look at the Shifter's face to give her the satisfaction of his grief. The comment about him being a slut slid off him like water, it was what she said about Sam, Dean didn't want to believe it but a part of him did enough to make him doubt that she was lying. It hurt him deep that they both had done it, his own brother taking a girl from him, that had never happened not if Dean got to her first, which he had. But it wasn't even the taking of the girl that really got to him, it was the way it happened and the why, the secrets and lies.

Alex had loved him and turned bad, he was still trying to get over that, how it all went down and how he wasn't really there to do anything about it because he had been poisoned by a mermaid. He didn't understand how he hadn't seen it coming when there had been signs, he was sure there had been signs. And what if he got out of this and found Sam, what then? Dean had a hard enough time looking at Sam without punching his lights out every five minutes now he was thinking about putting a gun into the equation.

"Ah you're thinking. Let me take a gander. It's about your brother and Alex. Do you think you can be judgmental over it though? I mean you've done no better, if Alex weren't even in the equation, in your life at all, you would have gone for Von and what then? Sam would be thinking the same shit about you. Besides it's not like you didn't already sleep with Von in some sense...am I right?"

While Dean was in his own world, the Alex on him had climbed off to shift, changing into the very hunter on the bed and already picking up on things. Moving over to Dean, the shifter snapped in his face. Smirking when Dean startled at the change in appearance.

"All those memories of Hell. Finding out that Astarte was apart of Von was pretty damn scary and yet alluring. I can't beat too far down on myself, Alex did choose her own path and what's the surprise really? There was no surprise; in the back of my mind I guess I always knew that she'd turn over and that it'd hurt me. I fell anyways. But that's not me, that's not how I am. I'm constantly moving on, chick-to-chick, bed to fucking bed and here I fell for a half demon! The Anti-Christ and I'm still thinking about finding a way to bring her back. I don't know if I'm insane, blind or just plain fucked in the head. I can't even trust my brother, let alone look at him the same. I'm a disappointment because I could have prevented so many things; imagine my dad yelling at me now telling me how much of a screw-up I am. Drowning in my sorrows while Sam's been keeping the biggest secret from me that he slept with my girlfriend. Oh wait, we never labeled it right, so fuck buddy? What he's done is nothing compared to what I've done. In Hell and even here. You know I'm right Dean, because I'm you."

"Shut your hole!" Dean snapped at the Shifter, tugging on his restraints.

The monster didn't know jack about shit, it knew nothing about Hell or his relationship with Astarte while he was down there. It might have been able to read how he felt about what Alex and Sam had done because that was fresh on his mind but he was going to kill it before it had a chance to read much further into his other thoughts. Crunching his abs he jerked his legs up, slamming his knees into the Shifter's side to knock him off balance. Dean couldn't go much farther than that with his arms being tied but he was no runt and had a good kick to him so when the Shifter came close the hunter faked him out with one leg to swing and catch him in the shoulder with the other. This would only do him so good, Dean was hoping it would at least buy him some time or something until a better idea came to his head.

The shifter grinned and went to Dean's duffel, grabbing some clothes and putting them on. Sitting on the opposite bed, the shifter decided distance was better. "Let's see what else can I knit pick at? Oh yes, Von. I'll keep going with her as Alex has been freshly dished. Von, I would have fucked her if I had the chance. Sure we are more like brother and sister, but seeing her now that she isn't a teenager oh so shy anymore, it's really turned on the ol' pipes. Remember that dream...the one with Alex and Von. Alex was so damn sexy in that dream and that was before I actually fucked her. I wonder what Sam would do if he found out that I've been having the Jones for Von for quite sometime. Probably get angry as we always seem to swipe out the girls he likes out from under him. Though Madison, Sarah and not to mention Jess were the only ones I never got the chance."

He inhaled and he thought long and hard, dragging up more memories on the topic. It didn't take a genius to know that Dean liked Von, he liked all women who could blame him?

"Really Dean...and almost, but not technically fucking Astarte in Hell, who is apart of Von. Naughty. If Sam knew that as well he might be foaming at the mouth stark raving mad. Not to mention the nearly close two times of having sex with Alex and Von by Von's and Alex's influence. I think it's best that we just don't bring either of them back from Hell. They've screwed up our lives, being brothers and if it weren't for them, do you think that Sam would be a werewolf? Sam might have actually been normal and we could have stopped him from going off with Ruby. But no, we had to know them when we were all younger, we had to let dad take in Von for just a moment of our time. We had to sacrifice so much and they were the cause of it. Alex and Von are nothing but vixens screwing up our lives, hearts and minds. Just like that mermaid back in White Sulphur Springs. Give up looking for that witch Dean, if you bring them back it'll only fuck us up even more. Better yet, death is the way to go, then you don't have to live with what was destroyed."

"When I get outta here an' I will I'm goin' to fucking kill you!" Dean shouted the last line and jerked on his restraints, lunging at the Shifter only to be halted abruptly.

What if the Shifter was right, Dean didn't like it talking about Astarte it didn't really know what it was like however good it was at reading his memories. The monster didn't have any right to talk about her like it had been there; Dean was there he knew what she had done and what she could do. But what if the Shifter was right; bringing them back would only cause more trouble, more pain and like Leon said what if they came back dark and twisted. Could they take such a risk, Dean could never say anything to Sam or Sam would kill him.

Dean still wanted to bring them back, fuck the repercussions, it was the right thing to do they didn't deserve to be in Hell whatever they were. If they could pull Alex out soon enough maybe Dean could get through to her before she helped the Devil end the world. And Von they could help her too...Dean closed his eyes and swallowed unwelcomed images of his brother and Alex having sex, it hurt him but at least he would be able to get over it being who he was. Von would never get over it, it would break her worse than she had ever been broken before, there would be no fixing her not this time.

"That'd be a clever trick to see. I know all your moves, every lock pick, every weapon stashed in their positions. The only way if you escape is if you had a form of magic, super strength or Sam here to save you. Seeing as you have none of those three...then you'll just be my play toy. I'll be back, freshen back up. This is fun and all but I liked Alex's body better compared to yours," the shifter said, moving to the bathroom, leaving the door open to change shape while Dean lay in the bed.


	9. Chapter 9

Sam's eyes opened slowly, his head rolling from side to side as he knew that his body was anything was lying down. Bringing his head up he looked at the setting before looking at the bindings. This thing was smart, putting him in silver chains and nailed them to the floor. The silver was just enough on him and a little on his skin to make him struggle from them causing him discomfort. He let out a sound of frustration from them, trying to slink away. His skin was reacting to it and he growled at them before he inhaled, closed his eyes and tried to calm himself over the matter.

Reopening them he found the version of Von before him. "I have to say, you work pretty fast. Not too long ago you ran me over and now..." Sam swallowed as he glared at her, even though the image of Von before him made his heartache, his heart clench, but it wasn't her. It wasn't.

"And now you're here." The red head tilted her head to the side with a wide sadistic grin, "Buck up grumpy bear."

She ticked his chin up with her fingers and laughed when he tried to bite them. She had been the one playing with the woman in the alley, her partner was the one that had mowed the pup over in the street, it didn't really matter who did what because they were here now.

"Let's make you more comfortable." She opened the buttons on his shirt and tore open the under shirt underneath. Pulling the fabric back allowed the silver chains to come in direct contact with the werewolf's skin and she was very careful wearing her leather gloves to not touch the chain herself. An angry rash developed where the chains settled over Sam's chest, "You have a beautiful body Sam, one of the reasons why I love you, so much fun to touch and tease."

Hissing at the contact he growled at her, his lips pulling back to bare his teeth. When the shifter spoke the last thing he faltered. "Shut up. It'll take more than looking like Von to get to me," he said, pressing his back against where he was stationed when she went to touch him more and he turned his head to the side to look anywhere but at her while his skin crawled and burned slightly from the chains.

"I've already gotten to you as much as I want, and besides nothing gets to you more than knowing her death is your fault, she trusted and loved you and you threw that away like it was garbage and for what? A little demon blood to make you feel all big and strong and a threesome with two demon sluts?"

Von's face pulled back in a sneer of disgust, being what she was she never really knew what real love was but she had read enough about it to know it wasn't something you turned away from or spat at. This Sam Winchester had done just that from what she had heard and the memories she managed to accumulate from the one item of Von's Sam had with him in the motel room she broke into before she showed up at the playground. She couldn't get a connection on the real Von, wherever she was, Hell supposedly so she had to make due with personal possessions. It did the job, she knew what she needed to know and she was in the mood to bat him around for a bit like a cat did with a mouse.

Sam turned his head and snapped in her face. "I thought I was saving her, I thought I was keeping her safe and was doing the right thing by getting rid of Lilith! The sex was not planned at all! I'd take it back in a second. All of it."

Von clucked her tongue, "No you wouldn't, you enjoyed it too much, that werewolf blood's made you a whore Sam, more than you were when you were just slutting around with Ruby. You know the demons in Hell are going to tell Von all that you've done just for kicks, break her body, soul and heart, twist all that darkness inside of her and then they're going to spit her back out and turn her loose on the world." The Shifter laughed, a sickening resemblance to Von's joyous voice and she did it all to mock Sam's pain, he deserved it. "I loved you more than I thought I could ever love someone, I opened myself up, I was there when no one else was for you when everyone else was afraid of you or thought you were a monster..."

He wanted to curl up in a ball at that laugh at her words but that was when he realized something. "You don't know me as well you think you do being a shape shifter. As a werewolf yeah I like blood, I do want it, but you wouldn't know that I really would walk through Hell just to get Von back. That I wouldn't go back and rip out Ruby's throat and heart and feast while Von made sure that there was no way that she would hop into another body, just go straight to Hell but really die. I hurt my brother and he doesn't even know it, I would take that moment with Alex and make sure that it never happened because I value that more than you can download. Let me tell you as well, that you don't know a werewolf, or a hunter as well as you think, not all are the same."

With that he jerked forwards, his hands having undone the best he could in the structure of the chains in back, pouncing on her as soon as the chains fell to the floor and he barked in her face. His hands going to hers to hold them above her head.

"Now, I'm not going to kill you...not yet. First, I want you to show me where we are, where your friend has my brother and then we are going to line you up nice and pretty like, like ducks and shoot you in the heart. But before that even happens the two of you will change into those that you killed so then you can remember their fear when you murdered them."

The creature with Von's face laughed, "You think you scare me with all your bravado and muscles, think again, go ahead and tear me up right now if it'll make you feel better but you know it's as pathetic as I do, fooling yourself when inside you're lonely, afraid and if you had the stones you'd off yourself but you're too worried about big brother, he's more useless than your brain when you're horny Sammy. How many times has it been that you've cleaned up his messes? He can't function a single day without you to hold his hand, he's nothing better than an attack dog in a human body. Two of the people he cared most about betrayed him beyond measure and who's to say he'll never find out, he will, only a matter of time."

Bringing the shifter up and slamming her back down on the floor, as his lip twitched and he held it in, before calming his voice. "No. Not yet. Not if I can help it." Sam brought the shifter to her feet with him, his hands bringing hers behind her back and holding them there as he moved her forwards forcefully. She could try and fight against him but they both knew that he was stronger.

Heading towards the door to the place they were in, he exited and squeezed her hands to make her cry out in pain slightly. Hinting for her to tell him which way to go, otherwise he'd do more than that and there was no way he was going to give her the satisfaction of killing her. He had learned from his dreams and being a wolf for a longer period of time that he had to accept what he was. Well here he was accepting it and not losing control. There was the proof that this shifter was just feeding him shit.

The thing laughed with Von's voice, wincing when Sam jerked on her arms but laughing again as if after all she had actually enjoyed it. Wriggling in his grasp and complying for several steps she leaned forward and rocked back on her heels quickly, ramming the back of her head into Sam's face. Using the distraction she ripped her arms free of Sam's grasp leaving gooey strips of flesh in the man's hands as a memento. Her laughter died when she took off around the bend of the building with lightning speed, disappearing into the shadows.

"Son of a bitch," Sam growled, tossing the pieces to the ground and booking it after her, turning the corner and hating how there was no sign of where it had gone. Hell the thing didn't even have a smell to it to even track it and he cursed. Looking around he figured he should go in the general direction that she had ran. Walking and keeping cautious, he had no idea what the thing would look like now that it was probably off to shift.

Sam walked a little more, searching any dark area for his own safety as well as any signs of skin sloughed off or her...but chances were she had shifted. Turning a corner onto a street that was kind of on the bad side of the town, garbage here and there and really no one driving or walking around. Kind of bland and lonely. Not the best place for a long person, let alone an unarmed hunter with lycanthropy. That was when he stepped in it. Looking down, his face twisting up in disgust he moved his foot over to the brick wall of one building to scrape off the skin and fluids that were all too shape shifter like.

"Why can't they do something along the lines of recycling? That's just plain nasty," he grumbled.

The distinct click of a hammer being drawn back on a gun sounded behind Sam, "Sam?" Dean's voice was hesitant like he couldn't trust that it was his brother in front of him. "Hold up there Cujo, turn around slowly," the hunter warned.

Dean's gun was trained steadily on Sam and he studied him with narrowed eyes, how could he be sure that this was really Sam and not some imposter? Unfortunately the silver test wouldn't work because Sam was a werewolf, any shape shifter had an allergy to it. And he couldn't ask him any personal questions because the Shifter could just as easily pull that from Sam's memory bank as the genuine article could.

Sam turned around slowly and stared at his brother. His eyes scrutinizing. How could he be sure that this Dean in front of him was his real brother? He couldn't. Inhaling he tried for a whiff and captured a hint of gunpowder and leather but not too buried in and he growled, his nostrils flaring. "Try again. If you were really Dean don't you think you'd be a tad bit on the drunk side? Not to mention, the smell is just a thin layer, not drilled into your pores like it would be. Besides you almost look healthy. You won't fool me again." He moved one direction and then the other, too fast for the thing to calculate before Sam was on top of the one impersonating his own brother.

"Bravo, but too late."

The Shifter with Dean's face dug the muzzle of the gun into Sam's stomach and pulled the trigger. The man overtop of him yelped as the silver slugged burned through him and when he coiled the Shifter squeezed another round into him. Kicking the hunter off with two bullets in his gut Dean stood and shot Sam's leg just to make him scream more, then stepping on the wound trained the gun over his chest.

"It's been real."

Dean's lips curled into a cruel grin as two more silver bullets were sent into Sam's heart double tap style. Stepping over to Sam's head he used the last round to liquefy Sam's brains across the pavement. Taking out the machete he was about to seal the deal when the annoyingly distinct whir of police sirens heralded the sight of flashing red and blue lights.

"Shit."

Dean stowed the blade and high tailed it out of sight when he heard the police crashing through the brush to investigate. Not that he couldn't have but killing all the cops would have been too risky, they played it careful and under the radar, until hunters came along to mess up their fun. No, he would have to come back and finish the job, all the silver in the world wouldn't kill the beast unless his head was missing.

888

Dean thought he was going to hurl in fact he could taste the acrid burn of bile wash up his throat and into his mouth pressing against his lips before he could manage to swallow it back down. He had seen enough sloughed off Shifter skin to last him a lifetime and had been responsible for pulling off some of that skin when attacking them but he had never seen one shift in full. And the smell, it crawled up his nostrils and nested there making a nice cozy home in his sinuses while he watched the horror show. Old skin slopped off in fatty sticky piles on the bathroom tile, mingling with the wire work of veins and other unpleasant fluids, the raw skin shifted as the bones remodeled themselves underneath becoming more petite and the muscles and sinews over top sloping into feminine curves.

As breasts developed the Shifter's junk fell off and smacked onto the tile in a melting puddle between their legs. That was almost too much and Dean's stomach heaved forcing him to turn over the bed as much as he could and allow the contents of his stomach to empty onto the carpet. His stomach continued to clench painfully tight when he heard the thing's voice laugh changing from a masculine timbre to a familiar feminine one. If the Shifter wanted to kill him why didn't it do it already, why did every monster have to slowly take piece by piece from him first?

Alex moved back into the area not bothering to change or even cover up. She moved back to the bed laughing slightly as she sat down and turned his face to her. "Enjoy the show Winchester?" she smiled. "Sammy's probably serving in Hell with your two bitches right about now, that or choking on his own blood with silver embedded into his heart. Head off his shoulders while it pools in the thick red fluid on the floor. You'll have a more clean death compared to him. But still bloody all the same."

Standing she moved to the other side, to where he had got his gun earlier and the knife she had grabbed not too long ago, picking it up again and observing it more. Dean wasn't going to go anywhere, going to the bag and searching inside. It intrigued her at how many weapons hunters had and maybe when she killed Dean she could remove him of the items he would no longer need.

Dean lifted himself up an inch, nearly more than he could spare as the Shifter nosed around in his belongings. "You know I wouldn't be so sure," he said casually making small talk as he looked around.

There was a blade under his pillow that he never had the chance to get to until now, even now it would be a long shot since his mobility was limited. Laying back down he jerked around some more, moving the pillow out of the way enough so that he could feel the cold blade against his skin. Risking not keeping an eye on the Shifter he tucked his head above his shoulder trying to get a grip on the blade with his teeth. Pulling it up by the hand guard he let it drop over his arm taking a quick look back to see Alex admiring Dean's toys.

Somehow he had to get the knife into his hand and that would take more twisting and bending than he was sure his body was capable of doing but he was going to have to try to do it anyway. Letting his arm be twisted at a painful angle he clenched his jaw and picked the knife up again to try tossing it as close to his hand as he could. He huffed and huffed and wanted to scream when his arm dislocated itself but held it in because that gave him the extra length that he needed to succeed.

At a precarious angle Dean used the silver Bowie to cut through the rope, every other second checking on the Shifter. He always kept his knives sharp so slicing through the rope was like cutting into warm butter. One arm free Dean cringed against the pain of having to lean on his dislocated arm in order to cut it loose. But he managed and when the Shifter turned around with her weapon of choice Dean was off the bed with the blade in his good hand.

The shifter stared at the hunter and she glared. "Now how did you get that? Never mind, this will be more fun."

Lunging at Dean, avoiding his blade time and time again, landing kicks but nothing closer before she made for a cut and succeeded. Vulnerable and too close, she gasped, eyes wide as his blade sunk into her chest. Blinking, she dropped the blade and stared down at where the silver was barely gleaming in between her breasts. Jerking forward and backwards when Dean removed the blade, the shifter fell to the floor, lifeless and staring.

888

Sam didn't move, his breathing was void as blood seeped out from the wounds in his head and body. The police had come to check on the area but finding nothing but a damn homeless man on the street tucked in the alley fast asleep, they left just as fast. This part of town, they get a call from a damn paranoid old lady and it was just her imagination, it was just a homeless man trying to find a place for the night. To them if the old lady wanted a safer neighborhood without worry she should have moved somewhere else. Leaving the area, Sam was left alone, growing cold, abnormally still and silent despite the footsteps coming closer.

The closer they came, the more anyone who would have been around would have seen that this man needed to move, needed to wake up. It was sudden, Sam jerked up, inhaling sharply, eyes opening as much as they could, grabbing the machete that was inches over his neck. Growling he stood rapidly, turning the weapon on the figure of his brother and sliding the silver blade home. Quickly releasing, he backed away, frantically looking around, his hands going to the wetness on his shirt and the back of his head, feeling the wounds, they hadn't closed yet, not in any spot the shifter had fired into, and they wouldn't for a while but he furrowed his brows. How was he even alive?

The shifter wouldn't get up; the shifter wouldn't come back, because Sam was a different kind of shifter and an even different kind of werewolf breed. Searching the area, Sam turned and began to run, run he could pick up a faint smell far away but not too far. Running and continuing to move onward, he met a road too familiar, and a park equally. Sighing, he knew his wounds were bleeding more but were healing very slowly since it was silver. Reaching the motel room, he opened it and entered, finding Dean, the real Dean hopefully before him and holding a knife to him he swallowed.

"It's me," he spoke before he fell against Dean slightly, a little lightheaded, actually make that lightheaded beyond compare from the bullet in his brain.

Silver in his leg, guts, heart and brain, Dean didn't see how a Shifter could fake that without being dead. He also had a hard time comprehending how Sam was even able to function with that much silver, two slugs in his heart and one in his head that turned his brains to Swiss cheese. If Sam wasn't a werewolf Dean wouldn't have had a brother. It was frightening that Sam managed to be conscious, well barely and made it more difficult when Dean was removing the silver because the normal level of sedatives wasn't working.

Poking at a wounded werewolf was kind of like poking at a wounded grizzly bear, if you weren't careful you'd lose a limb. That's where restraints came in handy, rope and silver chain that Von had made special just for Sam. He was bleeding too much to do much else and putting what he had learned from the Shifter aside Dean went to work helping his brother get better, he could tear him a new one later. Thing was they didn't have any of those fancy doctor tools like forceps so Dean had to cut into Sam to get the bullets out with a pair of long needle nosed pliers.

After that the wounds started to close up a bit faster but the blood loss meant it would still be a while. Dean did his job with growing mechanical detachment, remove silver, patch wound, and move on. He wished that Alex's voice would stop repeating what Sam had done in his head, he didn't want it to be true but his gut was telling him it was and he couldn't look at Sam's face. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want to just leave his brother hear to fix himself. With a heavy sigh he dragged a hand down his worn face and let his gaze drop to the carpet the silence adding to the weight on his mind.

When Dean was finished helping him, it wasn't fun at all when Dean started searching around in his head to get the bullet, that had to hurt the most and be the most awkward for both of them. Sam was now lying on the bed sweating and calming down as his body began to heal fast but still relatively slow. He wasn't about to sleep it off even though it would seem like it was going faster but decided he needed to stay awake. The almost dying freaking him out a little too much. Bringing his attention to Dean he knew that he was thinking up something as he wasn't even looking at Sam.

"Listen...Dean...what I did earlier before this all happened...I'm sorry. It was out of line and it's your body. You do what you want, but I was worried. I mean, I didn't want to lose you too even though it feels like I kind of have with you being mad at me to extreme levels and that trust between us has been destroyed. There is no excuse I can give for anything, any pain I have caused you," Sam said, silently hinting towards worse things he had done, that he hoped that Dean didn't know about with the body of Alex on the floor that had been covered with a sheet.

_We'd need to burn that body._

Sam's luck Dean already knew about it. He wouldn't be ignorant and naive to think that he didn't by now. Not after the shifters. They'd get any chance possible to let loose truth that would nearly kill them to shreds. But he figured if the shifter hadn't he might as well just tell Dean anyways. "Dean. There's something I need to tell you, that you might already know from this hunt. I don't expect you to forgive me and I wouldn't blame you to leave me behind with it piling on. But, I did sleep with Alex before she died. Alex and Ruby at once. It happened and I've regretted it ever since. I can't say I didn't enjoy at the moment because in that sick way I did. But you should know that in all honesty, regardless of what you might think, or anyone might think, I would take it back in a split second. All of it. I know Alex would too."

The hunter brought his eyes from Dean as tears filled his orbs, he knew that if Von found out that there's no way that it would matter. Who's to say that any of his words mattered to Dean? They didn't. Sam was no better than the things they hunted. Here they were trying to hunt, trying to find that witch to help them get back the women they loved only to have secrets, to have no trust and trying to act like what was going on wasn't bothering them just a tiny bit so they could pull through and function. Sam knew that Dean no doubt wanted to leave and go find that witch on his own and never see Sam again. Probably say that as far as he was concerned they were no longer brothers. That would damn near kill...destroy Sam. He knew it would.

He wanted to bring Von back, and Alex as well, but he knew the moment he did that, that Von would just go her separate way. She would never forgive him, she'd probably try and kill him or even torture him. Something horrible. Maybe if that shifter had completed the task, it might have been better for Dean. The shifter had said that Dean was Sam's burden with him drinking and moping around but really that wasn't true. It was Sam who was the burden. Wondering if he'd turn, wondering just how much he was keeping from him, and wondering that he might lose control and start killing people as the werewolf he was.

_I'm starting to wonder why I'm even still alive, Dean was right before I this had gone down. I do hurt everyone despite me being a werewolf._

"Shut up Sam," was all Dean would say and he had said it to the carpet like he was too deep in thought to bother make eye contact with his brother.

He couldn't think straight but he knew there had to be first things first. Standing he rolled the dead body in the blanket and lifted going to the door and exiting without looking back, he would take care of the body and maybe, just maybe he might come back. Loading the corpse into the trunk of the Impala he walked around and climbed into the driver's side, starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot of the motel room.

888

He'd been alone in the motel room for quite some time and he knew that Dean probably wasn't coming back. Despite the fact that he left his duffel behind with some of his other personal items. Sam had moved over to the table to his laptop, searching through things before his cell rang and he answered. "Hello?"

"Hey Sam, it's Rufus. I've got a lead on that um...Donnie person you are looking for."

Picking up a pen and paper he began to write down the information. If Dean didn't come back soon, Sam would have to find his own ride to get to the very location Rufus was feeding him. On the trail once more and hopefully Sam would be able to find...what? What would he find? Von didn't deserve to be in Hell and neither did Alex, if he could get them out, they didn't have to be around him, they could leave him if they all wished and he could hole up in some rain forest or something with a lot of trees where no one really traveled and he could live there for a time. Live there for a long time. Forever? Maybe, if that was the only option left. But he had to get them back and he had to get Alex back to Dean whether Dean wasn't too happy with Sam or Alex at all.

888

Flames licked up into the cold night air casting an intense heat on Dean's grimly lit face adding to his weather worn features. The surrounding snow was lit up cheery orange but beyond that the shadows stretched long and twisted, dancing with the flickering of the flames in a macabre taunting ritual. Another monster was dead, hurrah for the conquering hero and Dean was doing pretty well not thinking about how it looked like Alex until the makeshift shroud burned away to reveal the face. Still perfectly intact she could have been sleeping if it wasn't for the flames enveloping her body, curling and smoldering her dark hair and blackening her skin.

Dean watched the face burn away, the fire kissed her lips pulling them back withering the plump flesh till it revealed white teeth that smiled in jest at the mockery that was his life. Hardening his face he watched on making up his mind however dangerous that it would be best if Sam was left on his own for a while. He could take care of himself and despite what he was had a good hold of his animal side to resist making people his chew toys. Dean just needed some time alone, get a perspective and besides it might not be such a bad thing to split up they could find Donnie quicker that way.

888

It had been a while longer and that was when Dean entered. Sam knew he would but seeing him make a beeline straight for his duffel he furrowed his brow. Were they leaving that fast? The hunter went to get his when Dean held out his hand and spoke, explaining the situation and Sam stood there, listening, taking it all in. Nodding and trying not to show that this was affecting him. Dean was right. They did need some space and it would also be better to separate to look for Donnie. It hurt him to hear it from his own brother, but he understood where Dean was coming from. He didn't want to be around his brother...not after what he did and more. He didn't want to deal or look at him until he could figure it all out for himself.

"Um...well...I guess, keep in touch if you find him or anything else..." Sam voiced, watching Dean take it in before he officially left.

_I'm such a screw up._

He sat down and tried to analyze things, how he was going to do everything. He was a lone wolf in two forms of the matter. Blinking a few times as he had been sitting in the silence, though he didn't know how long before he glanced at the clock. Inhaling and exhaling he had to do this. He had to go at it alone.

_But I'm not alone. I still have that fox._

A small smile tugged at his lips as he walked over to his duffel and gathered his laptop. Going to the door he was going to have to catch a ride either by hitchhiking or...nah he'd just hot-wire. It was easier and faster and he needed to head to that location Rufus had led him in. He had forgotten to inform Dean of the lead but he figured that Dean would find his own lead. After all they were splitting up for reasons...


	10. Chapter 10

**February 25, 2009 3:45AM**  
><strong>Ithaca, New York<strong>  
><strong>Fulton Inn<strong>

Dean woke in a cold sweat to the dark of the motel room with the sound of his heart in his ears, it was a regular nightmare dance party in his head, Hell, Alex, even Von all torturing him with memories and things that had never happened but might as well have they were that realistic. Keeping his eyes open too afraid to close them again for too long for the images that were burned into his eyelids. Dragging a hand down his stubble sweaty face, whipping his gun out from under his pillow and training it on a corner of the room when he saw something move. Eyes and hand on the corner he inched to the side and reaching beside him for the light, the dim yellow bulb flicked on revealing the room and the nothing in the corner awaiting him.

With a heavy sigh of relief he laid his gun down on the nightstand and sat there wishing his mind would wipe to a blank slate, but the nightmares were only getting worse with each night. One thing he figured he could be gracious for was that Leon had yet to make another grand appearance...he was probably too busy torturing Alex in Hell to bother with him much. And what about Von, Leon only mentioned teasing details of what was happening to her, things he was still trying to figure out but Leon never told him that she knew what Sam had done.

He couldn't decide if that was good or bad, would it help Von fight back to know or be better for her to think she had something to fight for instead of a cheating monster. Dean didn't cheat, he had flings, and you couldn't cheat on a fling. Alex was his first real thing if that's what it could be called, should have known it would have never lasted neither one of them were meant for long term monogamy. So why did he feel like such a guilty son of a bitch like this whole mess was all his fault? He wasn't an idiot, he could piece things together, all arrows pointed to him with a big sign 'I'm fucking guilty' hanging above his head.

Nature called and Dean climbed out of bed to answer it shuffling off into the dark bathroom to take care of what he needed to. There was no going back to bed so he might as well go back to looking for Donnie, he had never called Sam once to ask how he was doing or if he had found Donnie but he had a feeling he was getting close, he was following his own leads.

888

**Flagstaff, Arizona  
>February 25, 2009<br>Beacon Motel**

Sam had been going at it for the past two weeks. Fighting monsters, exorcising demons and not getting near to death in the least bit. Strange how he found it that around his brother he was almost getting killed trying to work with someone else. He missed him. There was no doubt and wouldn't mind getting back together but they needed this. To work out their own thoughts and emotions, get into their own groove in their own pace and find Donnie. That was the goal. Once one of them found Donnie, they were going to meet back up and start at it.

The hunter pulled up to the motel, climbing out of the Volvo he had picked up a while back by helping out someone with a poltergeist along the drive. Worked out...lucky he was guessing. The fox had come to visit him in his dreams whenever he slept and it made things bearable. Better. She really made it feel like he wasn't alone all the time and that even when had some dark moments with him being a werewolf and his emotions, she would brighten him back up, calm him down. Glancing at his cell phone once he was inside his room, just sitting there on the nightstand as he rolled off his shirt. Tossing it aside, kicking off his shoes, removing the socks and finally escaping the jeans before he climbed under the sheets of the motel bed more comfortable than most.

About to close his eyes and turn off the bedside lamp, his cell rang. Sighing, he grabbed it and checked the caller ID. Not Dean. As always. Pressing Talk he brought it to his ear. "Hey Rufus. What'd you find out?"

888

**February 28, 2009  
>Ithaca, New York<br>Three Sister's Club**

It couldn't have been a normal bar, it had to be some freaky deaky flake festival of new age quacks all that smelled of patchouli and wore too much hemp. Though it wasn't all bad, some of the chicks walking around and dancing weren't ones to believe in bras.

_Go girl power_, Dean thought but it lacked the smooth criminal smugness of his younger years.

Then he started thinking how much Alex would laugh at these women and men and how much Von might like it here, then again she would be rolling her eyes at all the fluffy bunnies trouncing around. He would have given anything for them to be there, the temptation so high to go to the nearest crossroads to bargain some sort of trade. Dean was sure the demons might still have a plan for him and that he would still be useful enough to trade for. The reason he was here was because of a lead otherwise he would have been over in the next town looking for a fresh trail to follow. Someone knew something about where this Donnie guy was and he was going to find out what.

He moved not too sure why it was such a big deal, but Donnie had insisted that this was necessary. While the drive wasn't too far from where they were staying currently before the next gig, he was asked to find this one guy that was looking for Donnie. Talk to him and give him a lead. Whatever that meant. Manny walked over to the man he had talked onto the phone with and sat down in front of him at the booth he had in back like had informed. Sitting down he tried to understand yet again why he was here in the first place.

"Are you John Clapton?" he asked.

_Weird name._

Seeing him nod he inhaled. "Word is that Donnie St. Lewis will be in Chicago, Illinois at the Hummingbird bar in April. At seven on the dot, not later and no earlier on the 9th. That's all I know. Heard it from the owner of the bar."

"April the ninth?" Dean lifted a brow with a hint of incredulity in his voice. "That's the best you've got?"

April was a whole other month away, not counting the weeks and Dean didn't want to have to wait around working odd jobs until then. Wait and leave Alex and Von to rot down there longer than he wanted to, they were already down there for what could be counted several years, Dean knew the urgency greater than Sam ever could. Maybe they should have been looking for more than just Donnie, they should have made a list of ones that appeared safe enough to contact without turning them into toads or zombies. They should have given Bobby the list and gotten him to ask around, someone would have known something.

The man blinked, nodding a thanks to the waitress as she came and deposited him a beer, taking a pull he licked lips. "Yes and you can also sleep easy to know that the bar owner got that message directly from Donnie St. Lewis. Which means, Donnie expecting you, word travels fast and it wasn't hard for them to found out that you were looking."

_Then of course we didn't even know that someone was looking for Donnie. But Donnie knew. All I am is the fucking guitar player, not a messenger._

Another pull from the bottle and he stared. "Donnie also wants the message passed along that they are busy and they can't be bothered just yet, but come find them at that place, at that time...that's really all that I have man."

_Why Donnie is holding off meeting John Clapton and that other dude named Sam Winchester that I had to pass the message on to through another guy named Rufus, I have no idea. It doesn't make sense, we are right here and Donnie wants to wait a whole month. Why that long? What did John and Sam want from Donnie?_

Dean worked his jaw and nodded, so Donnie was expecting them but was still going to make them wait, he guessed he shouldn't be getting so mad since the witch didn't know what they wanted him for. Was this some kind of test to see if Dean was serious about meeting Donnie, the elder Winchester wasn't known for his patience or his calm and gentle demeanor, if Donnie knew he was looking then he should have known about that too. So maybe it was time to pull the Ace from his sleeve since he had one of Donnie's men to send the message.

"You or Donnie ever hear of a witch by the name Von MacKinnon?" And there it was, putting his hope on the spread of rumors and reputation, Von's name had to be out there somewhere, everyone talked and those people talked to everyone.

_Me?_

"I haven't. But Donnie has. Not much. Donnie is very resourceful, gets the information through hearing it, does what does to get by. Donnie knows of a Von MacKinnon and would have very much liked to have met the woman but as you can see a busy person. For whatever reason John that you are after Donnie, I hope you seek your answer. And trust me, waiting might seem like a pain, but when you do get to meet Donnie St. Lewis. It is worth all that damn waiting," he said, giving a nod of good bye as he took his beer and stood, going to the bar to sit on the stool for a night of hanging out and relaxation. Besides he knew not to leave the bar until he knew John Clapton was gone, really gone. Donnie said distinctly...no followers.

888

**Austin, Texas**

Sam tossed and turned, trying to find something in his dream, trying so hard and he was chasing it, not getting anywhere. He should have known he was asleep as it mirrored what he was truly doing in real life, and when he woke up he inhaled and stared at the ceiling, deciphering everything. He had not visited the fox in that dream, he hadn't the night before that either, it's been the exact same. Rufus had given him another lead before he had gone to bed, from a man that said that Donnie would be in Chicago, Illinois in April.

He was going to finish doing this hunt, finish it up in a few hours and then head on the road again, if he ran into millions of hunts along the way he knew he'd still be able to get to Chicago in time for the show, in time to catch Donnie and talk to him. He wondered if he should call Dean and tell him, maybe, maybe not. Would he answer? No. Sam would tell him when he finally had Donnie right before him and was talking to him, then he'd call and tell Dean. Standing up out of bed and beginning to dress into some clothes, he had to get the job done. Quick, fast and easy.

888

**February 28th, 2009 11:01pm  
>Three Sister's Club<strong>

**Ithaca, New York**

An hour passed and Dean realized this guy wasn't going to leave unless Dean left first, Donnie didn't want any tagging along he guessed. Considering the mystery that surrounded the guy Dean wouldn't put it past him to be extra cautious when it came to giving out information and the consequences of it. Unfortunately, that put a dent in Dean's plans of following the informant back to his boss, so he did what any good con-man and hunter would do he left first to give the illusion he was headed out to destination wherever.

Pulling the Impala's keys from his pocket he huddled into his jacket against the frigid breeze and climbed into his car, starting the engine and cranking the heat letting the engine warm up before he pulled out of the parking lot and down the street. He rounded the corner and came back around to park on the street, out of general sight of the parking lot but at an angle that allowed him to see who was coming and going. Dean doubted the guy knew what he drove so once he would trail him till he lead him to where Donnie was, then Dean would get his chance to talk to the witch and ask for his help.

The man left after a good while and climbed into his car, driving back was easy, listening to some tunes, with a little bit of a buzz but not too much to cause havoc on his driving and he wasn't drunk. Pulling up after a while to their motel they were staying at, he climbed out of his car, locking it and heading towards his room but stopping next to it as he raised his hand and knocked.

Once the door opened he entered to only speak with Donnie. The red headed female closed the door with a sigh and moved back over to her pad of paper on the couch, picking it up and continuing to write her song that had been in her head for a few days now. Trying to get it right in her head and practicing at the bar early in the morning before anyone ever showed up to test it out on the piano they had for her. Donnie St. Lewis, witch, red head, 5'7 and definitely far from shy, looked up at Manny before her.

"So how'd it go?" she asked, blinking green-gray eyes.

Manny inhaled, "Well it went okay. I did everything you said and he took it all very well. I think he'll come in April. Question, Donnie...Why make them wait?"

Donnie stood up, done for now on writing that song as her muse had vanished for the moment, taking his hand and leading him to the door she knew that her friends and members of her band Manny and Rick weren't too familiar with what she really did. They knew that she helped people but not as to how. If they knew what she was...she wasn't sure they would trust her anymore. "You should go to bed Manny, you look like you've had a hard night."

Leading him towards the door and out she watched him go to his room and enter before closing the door, stopping when something held it from opening. Furrowing her brows she peeked and found a man standing there with spiked sandy-blond though some would say brown hair; freckles decorating his face lightly and green eyes startling. Donnie stared into his eyes with her own, noting the shock in his face and she understood in that moment that this had to be the man that followed Manny. Somehow he did, but maybe Donnie wasn't too skilled in outsmarting some credible hunters.

"You Donnie St. Lewis?" Dean asked with a firm grip on the door in case the petite red head tried anything sneaky, she was after all a witch and she looked a bit on the cagey side.

If he hadn't been looking straight at her and ignoring the height difference she could have easily passed as Von's double. It made his heart somersault up into his throat and then plummet down into his stomach and he was honestly surprised he managed to get that question out and sound normal. Though right now he was probably wigging her out some with how intently he was staring at her. Another red headed witch that almost looked like Von, almost, could have been her sister if he hadn't known any better.

Maybe it was a good thing that Sammy hadn't found her first, hell they both thought that Donnie was a dude and now it turned out the witch was a chick. Still was this some cosmic joke? Dean knew every time he was gonna have to look at this woman his thoughts would go directly to Von and more than just wanting to get her out of Hell. Blinking hazel-green orbs at her he diverted his gaze over her shoulder to her room, expecting to see all kinds of weird witchy shit but he couldn't see anything aside from sheets of paper and a couple of bags.

Donnie moved to the side a bit to let him in, she knew why he was there and that he wasn't there to hurt her. "Yes I am, the one and only. And you must be..."

_A hunter, definitely a hunter and I know the person that Manny went to see said his name was John Clapton but the other man looking for me is named Sam Winchester. There were two Winchesters looking for me is what I heard._

"Dean Winchester. The other brother that has been hunting me down. Take a seat since you are here earlier than I expected," Donnie said.

Gesturing towards the couch and keeping an eye on him, her hand outstretched behind her back and a small dagger floated from where it was nestled in a bag off to the side and into it, pulling it around and situating it on the coffee table, she set it there to not hide any weapons she had on her but to let the other person know that if they were there to harm her in any way she would fight back. Precaution. Sitting down across from him she eyed him.

"You found me. I assume you want something from me. Care to talk or care to continue staring at me?" Another smile at how he couldn't stop staring but she knew it wasn't for good reasons. Like he was being haunted in this very moment and she wondered why. "Let's start off with why you are here."

Dean looked at her when he answered, it was polite to give eye contact when speaking to someone even though he didn't want to, and looking at her was almost painful. "I need you to help me with something, more to the point I need you to double up the recipe for a resurrection spell."

There, he was out with it he could fill in the details if she gave him the chance instead of kicking him out on his ass for being a nut job. Bringing someone back from the dead wasn't a cakewalk and should never be taken lightly, Dean knew this but whatever the risks he was willing to take them to have Alex and Von back. They didn't deserve to be where they were not after saving so many people not after countless times of saving the world.

The first big risk was coming to Donnie and asking for help, trusting a stranger to do the job right and not screw them over in the end. Dean was trying to get a read on her but all he could see was Von in her face, he'd never know if the vibe he was getting off of her was accurate, not until she proved herself either way. All he knew was that if she was willing to do this for him he'd pay her with whatever she wanted.

"A resurrection spell. Well that should be easy. I would love to help you but first before you give me the recipe, I would like to ask who the spell is for. Must be two people if I am going to double it," Donnie said, "But the names I need to know and the why. Precaution, some people tend to pawn off that it's for good reasons and wind up creating havoc on the earth and I have to fix it myself before a hunter like you comes along and does it for me. Good thing, I don't have those problems like most witches who are inexperienced in telling the truth in people."

Standing up and going to one of her bags she stopped, unzipping it and turning to look at Dean where he stood. Watching him watching her and even thinking about many things, she waited and finally he opened his mouth. Two names fell from his mouth. She didn't hear the reason as she had stopped him, her face falling from a simple smile and she had to make sure she grabbed onto something otherwise she would fall to the floor and possibly hurt herself.

"What?" she breathed, pain lacing her heart.

_He said Von MacKinnon. I know her. But he also said...Alex Tatiani._

"Alex is dead..."

_My best friend Alex is dead._

Standing up straighter and letting go of what she had held onto, she actually fell backwards onto the bed and slid off it onto the floor, her legs curling up slightly. Hearing and watching Dean come to her, she stared into his eyes. "What happened? Tell me everything."

Dean began to explain, omitting certain details that could hurt his case and from how Donnie had reacted to the news hurt her as well. He told her how the four had all been together once, skipped over a bunch and got to the finale, also skipping how it was Sam that freed Lucifer though he wasn't sure why he didn't want Donnie judging his brother. He couldn't tell the red head how exactly Alex died; when he showed up she was already dead on the floor surrounded by blood. Seeing her the way she was he never bothered to check for where the wound was, what was the point when she was dead, he couldn't heal it.

_I couldn't stop or fix any of it._

"We couldn't get to either of them before the building started to collapse around us, it's probably a pit in the ground by now," he swallowed as his stomach churned with the thought of their bodies mangled up in the stones of that convent. Had anyone found them, were they left in the wreckage because no one bothered to clean up the mess?

Donnie stared at him as he spoke, explained about the events that had gone down. Thinking over and over. Alex Tatiani was dead and the way that Dean spoke about it made her realize something. He had been in love with Alex and Alex had as well. Just from that she could tell. So her friend had finally fallen back into that category. Something else she could tell was that there was a hint of uncertainty but he really did care for his two friends. The two women in his life and his brother, his poor brother was going through it too. "I'll help. I'll do whatever I can to help, no charge. None," she said, standing up and brushing herself off. "Can I see that recipe you have?"

When he stood and pulled it out of his pocket he had she stared at it, taking it and looking it over. Something was wrong about it. It wasn't the normal resurrection she was used to receiving. This one was the only one of it's kind, it was rare and very, very real. Very useful and very powerful. But there was one thing she didn't want to have to say aloud that she knew she would. Looking up at Dean she met his green orbs.

"This is really what you wanted to come to me for. And I was going to make you wait...to see..." she broke off, her eyes going back to the object in her hands. "This recipe...it's far beyond anything and anyone in this world Dean. It cannot be doubled and it cannot be created a second time. It's only good for one use and whoever you received this from, whoever made this is long gone. No witch, no shaman, no anyone in my area or any area can help you with this recipe. I'm sorry Dean. I really want to help but I can't. The use for this is for one person and one alone. I don't have to test anything as it gives off an energy that is ancient."

She handed it back to him, tears forming in her eyes. She wanted to help him, she wanted to believe there was a way that he had a way to bring them back. That was a true resurrection spell, a true one that would work without repercussions, no flaws, they would come back with soul and everything. No chance of something taking over. All them. Amazing and something she admired the work put into it, but she couldn't help. No one could and she felt horrible that she had to know that, that she had to say that to Dean.

"Even though I cannot help you with this...I would still like to help you. In any way I can. I knew Alex. She was my best friend. I knew everything about her. Sit down and I'll get you a whiskey, I would like to talk to you if you'd let me. I'd like to help you if you allow it. And I definitely don't want you crawling into a hole somewhere alone after this. Stay. Sit. I'll get you something heavy to drink. As we both need it," Donnie said, going to the mini fridge in the motel room and gathering the bottle as well as two plastic cups and coming to the couch, pouring both of them half the bottle in each cup so they had enough to last. Bringing the cup to her lips, she began to speak.

Dean sipped the whiskey, it wasn't really sipping whiskey but he wanted to make it last, he listened more than he talked letting Donnie lead the conversation. It wasn't that he didn't have an interest his thoughts just kept drifting to other things until they both sat there in silence taking the occasional drink to pass the time. He was doing his best to keep it together, he felt lost and angry, it wasn't fair and it wasn't right and no one would or could help bring the both of them back. What was he going to do now? He would have liked to take Donnie up on her offer but how could she possibly help?

She was true to her word she did know nearly everything there was to know about Alex, almost. Dean didn't want to trouble her with the last moments of Alex's life and what the hunter had done during them, he wondered if Donnie would be just as upset by her best friend's betrayal as he was or if she would be more understanding or simply wouldn't care because she didn't know Sam, Von or him very well. It wasn't something Dean actually wanted to know so it was better left unsaid, he was just upset nothing could be done, not for the both of them. Taking another sip, this one much longer than the last Dean saw that his cup was becoming empty, once it was empty he knew he should go there was no sense in staying, not that he had been paying much mind to sense over the past few weeks.

Finishing explaining Donnie finished off the rest of her whiskey and stood, deciding she needed another bottle. She fished out another and headed back, if Dean wanted more he could some but she had really got it for her. It wasn't difficult to know that Dean wasn't really fully tuned into what she was saying. He caught some but not all and she actually stopped for that reason.

"You know Dean, ignoring someone or tuning out is deemed rude or disrespectful in some cultures," she spoke a small smile lighting her lips but vanished as she uncapped the bottle and decided to ignore the cup and go straight to placing her mouth at the bottle and tilting back. Letting it burn down her throat. "You aren't alone and you seem to think you are and that it would be better to wallow off like you have done to yourself. I can tell just by the way you are carrying yourself. A little better nourished than you have been but still not as good as you should be. Drinking just as heavily and in fact a necessity to make it through the day...the weeks. I'm a pretty heavy drinker myself when I'm in that deep of an emotion."

_I know you want to do everything to not talk, to just go away after what I've told you. Probably die for reasons archaic. But I don't want you to. You are the closest thing I have...the closest link I have to Alex._

"Please don't go Dean. I know you want to. But I think we both need each other more than any of us realizes. There is a way...a way to get them both back without any attachments or faltering. And that resurrection spell might not be it, but it's out there. I travel a lot, I hear things and I help people," she paused.

Donnie bit her bottom lip and turned to face him on the couch. Staring at his green orbs as he avoided her, her hand reached out and stopped, fingers curling in to her palm and she let it fall to her lap.

"If you help me travel, help me with finding what I need...I can help you with getting them both back, I can help you in general. Dean you've dug yourself into a pit of despair that is down right disgusting and you know it too so don't get mad at me for saying it when you've been thinking and feeling it. Let me help you. Save you. Save them. I need to do this, I don't know why but it's so strong that I know that something is telling me to. I want to. Please. Don't go. Stay."

Dean gave a nod his tongue lingering on the taste of whiskey on the inside his lower lip. It wasn't like he had anywhere to go, he might as well stay where the trail ended. He could have called Sam and really he should have to let him know that there wasn't any way to get the girls back, not both of them but he didn't want to right now. Distance and radio silence from his brother was what he needed right now. Dean didn't want to be saved.

"Let's focus on saving Alex and Von and not me," he ended his sentence with drinking the last of his whiskey and looked down at the cup in disappointment at the bottom he could now see. The stuff never lasted as long as he wanted it to and the affect lasted even less.

Donnie finally turned his face at that and she stared into his orbs, searching. "You really think that you don't deserve being saved as well. Dean, saving you is just as important. In fact it will help us find a way to save them if you save yourself first along the way." Shaking her head she released his cheek and grabbed the bottle once more to take a big gulp, handing it over to him with a raised brow. "Trust me Dean, if you don't save yourself, we might never save _them_." She exhaled and swallowed.

_If anything Dean reminds me of Alex. Head strong, willing to do everything to waste themselves but that blind selflessness to save others first before them. They don't realize that sometimes you have to come first before you can save others. You'll never be strong enough to do it without doing you first._ She actually hummed a tiny bit with a teasing smile at the thought. _That was dirty._

The sensation of Donnie's fingers on his cheek faded slowly and almost seemed to tingle when he let a mouthful of whiskey slide down his throat letting it burn into his stomach and nest there. "Yeah, maybe," came his less than convinced reply.

Dean didn't want Donnie to try and convince him he just wanted it to be left alone, talking about it was only going to piss him off and he was glad that she could tell that's what would happen if she pushed it. Taking another pull he licked the moisture off his lips and swallowed rubbing his thumb up and down the neck of the bottle. Sleep would come easily with more drinking if Dean wanted it to, he wanted it to escape this reality but he wanted to wake to escape the reality of his dreams. It was a delicate balance precarious at best and most of the time Dean felt like it wasn't worth it either way but he kept soldiering on as always. If there was one thing he was good at it was managing to muddle through.

Donnie remained silent. Telling he was deep in thought and she went to reach for the bottle, her hand clasping around a part of it but finding resistance she turned to face Dean and leaned in to get the bottle. "It's called sharing," she said, staring into his green orbs with her green-gray.

_I want my whiskey and he's hogging the bottle._

Still no releasing she lowered her head to the top and forced with both her hands to tip it and gain a drink. A little awkward but like she wanted, she wanted her damn whiskey. Pulling back and away she licked her lips. "You weren't willing to give it to me so in order to make us both happy I had to do, what I had to do. A woman on a mission."

"It's your bottle not mine," Dean gave it over; albeit reluctantly, "you were the one that gave it to me."

Mission accomplished Donnie got her booze back. Now she had moved closer and didn't show any signs of moving back, it made Dean uncertain so he was the one that leaned back but only by a fraction. She must have really wanted the alcohol or she didn't understand what personal space was but this wasn't Dean's place so he kept his mouth shut. If he found he couldn't take her company he would leave, simple choice to make and he would check out his own motel room.

Feeling him move back she apologized with her eyes and scooted back to the opposite end of the couch. "I know, I know. I'm sorry. There's another bottle in the fridge if you want that one." Taking another pull she could distinctly taste on the bottle Dean and she quickly removed it. Giving it to him she thought better. "Actually you can have this one, I'll get a new one. I'm never not prepared for a night of alcohol. Besides the boys sometimes sneak it out from my stash. I don't travel with them a lot, I only go with them for a few runs before I find someone else to practice my music so then I can perform."

_Company is not in the best quality with musicians. They always seem to want a few run arounds before dumping you. I'm not like that but the ones that come with me are, trying to get into my pants but I choose who does not allow by traveling buddy 'rights'. Or at least that is what they call it._

Donnie figured a reason she also didn't want Dean to leave the motel room just yet was because she did want the company. She needed it actually. If she was left alone in the room now she would probably wind up going down a path that wasn't so honorable or even safe. Coming back she stopped, not going to sit down and she stared at the bottle. Like it held all the answers, like it could be her companion but it would only be gone and in the toilet in the morning. Setting it down on the table she didn't touch it. Running her hand through her hair she let it drop, her hand hitting the pad of paper and sending it flying she cursed and went to gather it all.

_Alex is dead and I'm here drinking with her noted boyfriend. Well I don't know, but I know they had a thing, someone doesn't talk about someone like that and not feel anything. And I'm thinking of things thanks to the alcohol and...I'm such a bad person. I may help people but I do stupid things._

She hadn't realized that she was sitting on the floor for too long and had received a paper cut for her efforts until she saw Dean kneeling in front of her snapping her out of her thoughts. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't worry about it."

He reached around and helped her to collect the papers while she tended to her papercut. Setting the cluster of notes on the table he stood and searched around, thinking and knowing that if chick did what she did she'd have a med kit lying around. Heading to the bathroom he struck gold and came out with a single band-aid and a antiseptic wet wipe to clean up the blood.

"Here." Dean gingerly took her hand and wiped the cut then applied the band-aid before the blood took over the space.

Donnie stared at the band-aid and then at the hunter. She blinked a few times and said her thanks, giving him a thank you kiss on the lips, chaste and barely there. It wasn't too much out of the norm for her. When she said thank you she did that but somehow when it happened she couldn't think that maybe there was something to it than just normality. Donnie stood and sighed, glancing at the papers, her lyrics.

_The small thank you kiss. It was only a paper cut and he helped me with it as well as my papers. I've had whiskey, my judgment gets a tad hazy but I'm not even to my limit yet._

"Again, thanks. You didn't have to...I...thanks."

_Shut up Donnie. Just drink. I think I scared him or made him uncomfortable. I should never have told him to stay, but I need someone. He needs someone too. I'm not going to go there. I'm Donnie St. Lewis...yeah like that means anything._

"Don't mention it."

Dean slid down onto the couch; sipping at the alcohol and feeling the warmth slosh around in his gut. Was it okay to be thinking about the kiss or should he be pushing it aside out of guilt? The kiss was distracting, nothing major, no passion or tongue; instead a kind gentle thank you kiss but it left Dean with the memory of her soft warm lips on his. He stared at the clock on the wall and the brochures on the table beneath it, just staring at them without any cause or intention of actually looking at them. It was better than closing his eyes to the horrors that waited under his lids, those could wait a while longer. Dean became lost in his thoughts forcefully choosing to pick out safe and happy memories of many, many years before when they were all just kids before it all went to shit.

A small smile tugged on her lips. "You know...it's funny. I remember it being Alex the one comforting me. Though there was that one time and that was when she was really down and things went a whole new direction. We both each other's first that night. Too much alcohol, too much shit going on and next thing we know we are both..." she laughed a bit and then stopped. "One time thing for either of us. I love men too damn much to swing a new way."

Donnie couldn't stop thinking about that kiss and the alcohol wasn't helping and even she had to cross her legs to quell the feeling of arousal. Damn whiskey. Damn hard times.

"Ugh...more whiskey?" she asked, turning to look at him, licking her lips and hating how her eyes landed shortly upon his own petals.

**Note:**** Donnie St. Lewis is modeled after the looks of Alison Sudol otherwise A Fine Frenzy. The songs you will notice will be from that band that she sings/plays. :) It was a coincidence that she happened to look a lot like Von who is modeled after Bryce Dallas Howard. And for those that are curious, that was never mentioned before, Trent is modeled after Karl Urban, Apollo after Jake Gyllenhaul and Alex after Erin Cummings.**


	11. Chapter 11

Note:_ So I HAVE updated this story, not sure if any of you have received emails that I have but if you haven't then I suggest you go back a chapter or two depending when the problems started I am pretty sure it was Chapter 9 that I was having those kinds of problems. But hope you are enjoying, we both are. We are planning more and more furiously and since my rpg site is down due to ProBoards kind of sucking ass we had to get creative and kind of think of another way to do it so we are still writing and playing and still converting chapters! :) It's about to get more and more interesting folks._

**March 1, 2009 10:45AM  
>Motel Belmont Room 10<strong>

Dean woke slowly with the pain of a stiff back and the dull throb of a headache that the alcohol previously consumed last night paid little help to. Blinking bleary hazel-green orbs he found himself on a couch in an unfamiliar motel room until the events of last night started to pour back in to his consciousness. He had succeeded in finding Donnie St. Lewis the allusive witch that was supposed to be able to help them double up a resurrection spell to save Alex and Von from Hell. Only she couldn't, there was no way to duplicate it and no way to save them.

So why was he here? Dean had made a promise to Donnie, the red headed witch that was more than easy on the eyes, that he would stay because she asked him to. Maybe he was wanting after all for someone to help him as much as he knew he didn't deserve it. She promised to help and maybe they could find a way, yeah right, when were things ever that easy?

Donnie slowly woke up, trying to remember what had happened. The taste of alcohol on her tongue and she rolled it around in her mouth in distaste. Sitting up she groaned from where she found herself on the couch, with a body beneath her. Finding her hand to steady her on something round she looked down at see it on a bulge in pants. Finding Dean connected to it, she quickly removed it and apologized, standing up and wincing at the pain shooting through her skull. They had both had a lot to drink.

"How much did we drink last night?" she asked, squeezing her eyes shut and placing her palm of her hand on her forehead, mouth open in silent regret and pain.

Opening her eyes she dropped her hand to run it along her shirt only to find it gone and she grew panicked. Thankfully she was still wearing pants and a bra but the shirt was nowhere. She probably got too hot in her sleep, which happened on some nights. Finding it underneath Dean's head she slowly slipped it from there and walked away to her duffel to find a new shirt.

"Whiskey...the alcohol that does wonders and leaves you confused in the morning," she commented, finding a shirt and pulling it on.

Dean watched her with veiled lids, thick curly eyelashes shuttering over brilliant hazel-green orbs with the laziness of the just woken. Aside from being stiff he apparently wasn't suffering as highly as Donnie, then again he had been rigorous in building up his tolerance to alcohol over the last couple of weeks.

Propping himself up on his elbows with a grunt he stifled a yawn and blinked his eyes, obviously nothing had happened he vaguely remembered how he started to fall asleep as Donnie leaned into him to do the same. Then through sleep they became more entangled on the couch until they woke up nearly in each other's arms.

Donnie smelled good, almost like a mix between Alex and Von though a bit more Alex and something else. Mentally shaking himself of those thoughts he waited a couple of minutes and sat up though when he did he wished he was still sleeping, hunger suddenly hit him like a brick shit house and his stomach clenched so hungry the growl it wanted to emit became stuck as it was building in his gut. Taking Donnie in a second time he stood and shuffled off to the bathroom to take care of morning business.

With that done he took a long hard look at himself in the mirror hating what he saw as always. He was pale, he had always been a little on the pale side compared to his brother but now he was downright sickly looking. The ill light of the bathroom did him no favors, highlighting the dark circles under his tired world-weary orbs, the eyes of a lost and broken boy inside the shell of a man. Running the taps he gave his stubble, almost bearded face a wash and ran a wet hand through his hair to freshen it up from being flattened on the couch sleep. Dean still had his nightmares, luckily not waking in the dark of night in a cold sweat and shivering from adrenaline and fear no doubt startling Donnie. He wanted her to know as little about his own ordeal as possible, as willing as she was to help him he wanted nothing more than to get the girls back, that would make him happy.

When Dean went into the bathroom, Donnie just about hit the floor from all the flutters in her stomach. She had been that close to him and she held an attraction to him and hell she caught his smell and it was good despite the alcohol. Not to mention she had felt his damn package and yeah it was more, the piss builds up but it was impressive what she felt and- "Damn it, damn it, damn it Donnie. No," she chastised herself in a whisper.

Donnie switched her pants for a new pair before grabbing her brush and going through her hair, returning it and going for shoes and socks. She was hungry and hungover just a bit, but she wasn't puking. She could hold her puke better than most hungover people. What she needed was a greasy breakfast and a coffee. Going to the bathroom door to knock on it, it opened and Dean ran into her. Her hands going to his chest to stop her forward motion and she stared into his eyes.

"Sorry, just came to check if you were done and obviously you are. My turn," she spoke, quickly going around and inside she shut the door and looked into the mirror for a second. "No Donnie. No."

Dean stretched and his spine popped into place and he let out a relieved groan like a large happy cat. Then he turned back to the closed bathroom door and started to wonder why he was here at all, he wanted to think that Donnie could help but really he knew there wasn't any way. So then he started telling himself he was doing this for Alex, she would have wanted him to comfort her friend and by Donnie's reaction she needed the comfort. Maybe in that sense he could justify that they needed each other's company until however long it was going to take to fix the problem.

Finishing up in the bathroom she grabbed her duffel, writing a quick note to put under the door of the guitar player before doing so and heading out with Dean. Why was she doing this? Dean could obviously help himself, but the way he was living to do it she wanted to help and not only him but to help Alex and the other one named Von. Alex was her friend and damn it if she was going to sit back and let a hunter take over to get her friend out of Hell. Donnie climbed into the front passenger seat of the Impala, she hadn't seen one of these for a long time and she sighed.

_Work. No play._

888

**March 6th, 2009  
>Lanice's Motel, Room 17 : Dyersburg, Nashville<br>12:35 PM**

They had been together for 6 days. 6. Trying to find ways to get the girls out of Hell and all the while Donnie had let Dean drink, but she had made him eat by bringing back a smorgasbord of food and told him to shower because he was becoming slightly stinky. Otherwise she just let him be how he wanted without pester. He had gained just a little bit more weight and the muscle he had back just in the span of 6 days but not much. Just a little. Donnie was helping him and he doubted if he even knew it. Already he was looking healthier.

Donnie on the other hand was having a hard time, because memories of Alex kept hitting her dead on and not to mention the sexual tension in the air was just suffocating. She had been coming into close calls with Dean in the 6 days they had been together and a few of those times was when he was out getting booze and she had to take a shower, not thinking anything of it knowing he wouldn't be back for a long time and might want to be alone, he'd come in right as she was changing and had to quickly cover up. So far she didn't know if he had seen anything but she'd caught him some interesting times as well.

_Damn it no Donnie._

She had kept telling herself to not do anything and to just shrug it off. But it was so hard as it kept attacking her mind and body with many things she would love to do or have him do. Donnie was a lecherous son of a bitch. Hell, wanting the man that was or had been with Alex and it was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Not that they hadn't shared a fuck before which they had but this was different. It would like sharing Kayden with Alex since Alex had told her about Kayden and how he died and how hot he was and all that nice stuff.

_Fucking A. I hate this, but I want to stay because he knows where to look and I do too but I don't have a car and a lone witch who hasn't hunted before needs to stick with someone who knows. Especially someone who knew Alex and I fucking need the company otherwise I would go insane and I am rambling inside my own head._

The red headed witch stared at the map of the United States on the bed where she sat. Where to look? Donnie's eyes shifted up to Dean where he was in the chair at the small convenience table and she couldn't help but bite her bottom lip in thought before returning her sights to the map.

_No._

888

**Ely, Nevada  
>Richmond Motel, Room 8<strong>

Sam hadn't known what was going on, but he was freaking out. The fox hadn't been in his dream last night and it hadn't been there the night before or when he napped in between. Where was she? He also couldn't stop the shakes and the hunger and the feeling that he had been deprived of something like alcohol or drugs which only meant that the withdrawal symptoms from the demon blood was finally kicking in. Why so late though? Swallowing hard he tried to drink more water. It didn't help and neither did the fact that his hunger had been amplified being a werewolf and the full moon was on Wednesday, in about 5 days.

Something was wrong and he couldn't bring himself to call his brother because then he might be showing that he couldn't handle being on his own. Couldn't handle being what he was and doing the job. He had taken a break from hunting for one night and that was a mistake as he went the next night and shredded that vampire nest apart, rightfully tearing them to shreds and continuing when the whole nest was way past dead. He had even feasted on their blood and bodies until he got to the bone on some of them which in turn he tried to make himself throw up when he was finished but it wouldn't work.

_What is wrong with me?_

Entering his motel room and locking the door he turned around and headed to the bathroom. Turning the faucet on and splashing some water in his face he looked up to find a man standing there, leaning against the doorjamb casually. Sam swiveled and growled. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

Lucifer gave a small smile and observed his supposed vessel. He knew that Dean didn't know that he was the Michael sword, that Dean was the one that Michael would have to ride and neither did Sam know about him being Lucifer's vessel. It was all rather interesting. They separated and Castiel didn't think to step in and put up any barriers. Any, precautions or even inform them or what they were. "Sam Winchester, nice to finally meet. I think you know who I am."

Sam thought, long and hard before it clicked. He was face to face with..."Lucifer. Why...Why are you here?"

"Well to congratulate you of course and to thank you. I mean you did set me free in the end. I am here to talk. No harm no foul, just talk."

888

Coffee. With rum. And curly chili cheese fries compliments of Donnie, the perfect brain food. Sucking some of the sauce off his thumb he flicked a page of a book he was skimming through before looking up at the red head. He thought he caught her eyeing him from where she sat with the map but never found out for sure. Like they were doing some dance he would look at her when she wasn't looking and she would look at him when he went back to the book.

She was pretty and Dean would be lying if he said he didn't have some attraction to her, all those freak glimpses with being in the right place at the wrong time weren't helping him pretend the opposite either. Donnie St. Lewis, she might as well have been Alex and Von's love child all grown up and ready to play with Dean who couldn't stop thinking about either of them. The dreams would still come and it had been a long time since he had the one about Alex and Von but last night he did before it turned violent and bloody. They had both whispered sweet nothings in his ears about themselves and about Donnie but he wasn't so stupid as to not know it wasn't his own subconscious that wanted the familiar comfort of sex with a beautiful woman.

It hadn't even been a month and he was already thinking about banging another chick, one of Alex's friends no less and again there was the whole love child of the dead women thing. Scratching at his chin he combed his calloused fingers through his spiked hair and massaged the back of his neck finding too many knots to count.

_What the fuck have I gotten myself into now?_

He let out a near silent sigh and scrunched his eyes closed only to see him slicing into Alex and Von with a shit-eating grin on his blood splattered face. Eyes snapping open he forced himself to calm while he glanced around as if the room he were in wasn't real and any second Alistair would come strolling in with his favorite knife. Clearing his throat he ticked his head to Donnie. "Got anything?" he asked needing the distraction of open conversation and working on a job. The images wouldn't clear for a while yet but at least he had the ball rolling.

Coming out of it she brought her eyes up and then flicked then back down, standing up she wondered how long she had been sitting in that position as her legs hurt like a fucker. Donnie shook her head. "No. I'm not getting any reading off of anything. It's too quiet out there. Like...we've been placed in a bubble. As for what I am looking for on Alex and Von, nothing. Again. Something is trying to prevent us from getting any information or something."

She exhaled going to her duffel and lifting it up, searching and searching. What was she searching for? Damn she needed a light. Snapping her fingers the flashlight zipped out of the duffel and into her hand immediately, flicking it on she continued her search. Finding what she wanted, the flask of whiskey she replaced the flashlight and undid the cap. Taking a good amount and waving her hand over the map, upturning her hand so the palm was faced up the map stretched out in the air so they could both see.

Donnie had used her abilities, rather in tune with them from many years of being a witch, her mother was a witch and it was passed down. She along with Von, Luka and one other witch were natural born witches, blood witches. Donnie heard many things down the grapevine. Muttering something, plot points highlighted where any activity would be and there were none at first, which is what she had gathered and then one blinked onto the map just where they were and she blinked really fast to smother it out. Something was also tampering with anyone wishing to locate anything so then they would locate themselves.

Closing her hand, the map folded up and settled on the night stand. She wasn't sure how Dean took it when she used her abilities but she didn't like to use them often. Though, at times it is easier and a little calming. What didn't help was that it did absolutely nothing for the damn wet panties or butterflies. Donnie wasn't an idiot, they were playing eye tag and she wasn't sure who had started it. Licking her lips she recapped the flask and put it in her duffel, setting it back on the ground. Sitting down on the bed once more she faced Dean.

"And you? Anything?" she asked, her eyes landing on his and she was curious to what he had been looking at while she was doing all that. She knew it hadn't been the map as the eyes felt like they were roaming her body. Shaking it off she noticed she had been staring at his lips and then looked away.

_Anything at all? No. Donnie. No. Don't go there. Professional. Work. Wrong. Oh so damn fucking wrong but-no._

888

**March 7, 2009  
>Lanice's Motel, Room 17 Dyersburg, Nashville<br>1:16AM**

Dean had fallen asleep on the couch alone this time, drifting in and out of consciousness before a nightmare took root and dragged him under. Blood, guts and screams surrounded him and dogged his steps as he descended down a flight of crooked steps to a narrow corridor that scraped his shoulders as he passed through it. Some Hellhound bitch's runt followed him down; the half starved thing took a shining to Dean shortly after he took his first slice into that woman. Most demons didn't get their own puppy to play with until they were good and stained with the blood of thousands upon thousands of souls and even then many never bothered with the mutts at all.

Dean usually tried to ignore the mutt until he grew accustomed to it's company, even throwing it some of the meat he sliced off from the soul of his latest session. He didn't know whether the hound made it when the angels arrived to pull him out of Hell but this was a dream not real life. So the hound was at his side, the runt for the bastard pupil of one of the greatest demons in Hell and it jumped along with Dean when a pale bloodied arm curled around his leg and grabbed his dick. He could feel it's laughter ripple up his spine in spite that there was no laughter to be heard and for that time his heart filled up with light before clenching with fear.

Shivering he pulled away and the hand let him, the red headed female creature crawled elegantly towards him on all fours as he backed into a wall the rough surface wasting little time in cutting into his back. Dean didn't want to be anywhere near her, when she pressed herself to him his breathing hitched and he never winced when she gently ran her hand over his back to collect his blood on her palm. Rubbing the thick rich liquid on her pale stomach her silvery blue orbs fluttered in ecstasy. Dean's head tilted back his thick eyelashes flickering over his glazed hazel-green orbs, a roll of heat washed up his stomach and made his abs tighten.

Sweat glistened off his toned heat blasted skin and he held onto her over the rocks that would only cut at his hands. He swallowed down a moan; not wanting to alert anyone else what was going on when his heart sped up with fear at the clicking growls that entered his head. Astarte would have eagerly swallowed Dean's moan had a thick band of leather not been sewn over her mouth to prevent her from causing havoc in the Pit. She calmed Dean's mood by resting a hand on his chest allowing him to catch his breath as he gazed at her with unblinking fever bright eyes.

Pulled away from the light grip he had on her Astarte swung around to face Alex, the angry brunette's eyes swirled ink black with startling blue. Without warning she lunged at the red head and stabbed her several times over leaving her to drop in a dead bloody heap in the thick ash at their feet. Dean was so horror stricken he had not moved to intervene but when he stumbled over to Astarte's gutted body that was when he felt Alex's dagger in his own stomach. He grabbed her wrist and pulled it out, a fierce fistfight ensued until they had both nearly torn each other apart.

This was not a memory this was his subconscious fucking with his already fucked up mind, throwing Alex into the mess. Desperate to end it Dean grabbed Alex's head, one hand grabbing under her chin and both twisting forcefully up and to the side. Letting Alex's body fall away to the ash to join Astarte's he startled when tiny blue flowers tickled at his foot, then he flinched in anger when he heard a familiar chuckle flow out towards him. "Leon," he growled venomously and straightened his back to face the smug bastard.

Leon chuckled as he found Dean. A marvelous dream to be having and he stared down at the two dead bodies of the women that Dean so longed to get out of Hell. "Funny, looks like you aren't the only brother who has in a way fucked the others lover. Long time no see. How's it going Dean?" he asked, skipping around the bodies and in front of the hunter a ways away. "I hear you've gone searching for a witch to help you with the deed and I hear you found her. Donnie St. Lewis. I hear everything and I know everything. Interesting how she looks a lot like Von but different. Holds both of the women inside her and you noticed it didn't you? Now, now, she wasn't created from their genes to torture you. Merrily a real person that has the...best of both worlds inside."

He vanished in a puff of black smoke and laughter when Dean lunged at him, appearing behind him he snatched Dean's hair with his fingers, tilting his head back and pressing him over the edge a little to hang.

"I don't blame you silly Dean for wanting to fuck her. She wants to fuck you too and yet you both know how wrong that would. But Alex is dead and changing. I mean, she fucked your brother, time to move on from that as well as her. If she ever comes back things won't be the same and what is wrong with finding a little distraction in a red headed witch. You would have fucked Von if you had the chance, well...Donnie is like a gift. Think of that, you both were meant to meet for a reason. Why not take advantage of that sexual tension running through and it'd be like Alex and Von never left. Why do you think that you two aren't finding jack shit? Lucifer doesn't want you to know what he's doing, where he is and what is going in the world that doesn't pertain to him. Not to mention plenty of demons such as me, don't want you finding a way to get the girls out of Hell. They are where they belong."

A jerk back into him and Leon slid his hand down to Dean's package that Astarte had been gripping earlier.

"Alex isn't yours anymore Dean. Maybe forgetting about her, take care of yourself and that witch that you have sitting on that bed in that motel room of yours just eager for you to do something. Neither of you will though. Because of Alex. Alex, Alex, Alex. She just gets in the way of everything you do. Stop ignoring it Dean, move on and stop looking." A beat as he brought his lips to Dean's ear to whisper. "It's too late."

888

Donnie was sitting on the motel bed watching the television as she drank a beer and glanced over at Dean when he made a few sounds here and there in his sleep. Some dream. She knew that he must have demons in his mind playing hell with his thinking and emotions. No wonder he had let himself go and fall into such a deep pit. No wonder he also wanted the girls back because it was hopeful that maybe the dreams would stop. The nightmares. Donnie stood and went to the television to find a new show to watch.

888

Dean jerked in his sleep unaware of what Donnie was doing around him. If Leon's hand in his junk wasn't enough he felt something velvety and strong curling around his leg. Dropping his gaze down in alarm an elegant green vine had grown around his leg blossoming petite blue flowers that shimmered with dew. The ground moved where the unusual plant sprouted until the disruption caused the ground to split slightly but otherwise caused no disturbance.

Prying Leon's hand off of him he wanted to get away from the demon despite his want to kill him, he also wanted to be rid of the plant that had latched onto his leg. He could feel Astarte's presence as readily as a leaf could the coming rain and it trickled up his spine like a pure shot of fear. Apprehension split into panic with the ground a burst of fresh green foliage coming through the thick ash. Tree roots erupted and clamoured for purchase ripping and clumping the charred soil and spilling forth rich brown earth onto the dead ground.

Dean's legs were taken out from under him as a fissure opened beneath him and he screamed when the plant around his leg pulled him down his hands scrambling to gain some kind of grip. Frantic eyes searched to find Leon still standing but he couldn't read the demon's face from the dust that had been picked up from the tumult of nature taking over the desolated landscape of Hell. What was happening, this wasn't supposed to happen, the world shuddered like it was going to throw up something terrible from it's belly but then it subsided and Dean found himself lying on his back in fresh warm grass. Staring up at Leon in bewilderment he was surprised the demon survived the violent transition, whatever this was this wasn't Hell.

Leon inhaled and his mouth quirked slightly. "Beautiful, a magnificent work of art. Sadly I like Hell better but nature's garden just as fine. You really should wake up Dean and I mean literally as well as metaphorically. Wake up from the delusion you have that bringing the girls back will make things better. It won't. It'll just open up a greater wound. Swallow you up like nature just did to Hell. Sadly, I have spent too long here though it might not seem that way. Alex seeks my attention and I believe you seek Donnie's," he finished as he disappeared.

888

The sounds that came from Dean had her concerned as they got more scared in the process and she had abandoned her beer and television to go to him. Sitting on the bed slightly she placed her hands on his shoulders to gently wake him up. "Dean...wake up. You're having a nightmare. Please, wake up."

Hazel-green orbs snapped open to capture gray-green eyes staring worriedly. "I'm awake, I'm awake." He reached out to take her arm without thinking then stopped and rested his hand next to his hip. Looking away he studied the room gathering his thoughts. "You find anything?" Dean couldn't talk about what he had dreamed about, it made him angry and scared and confused and he wished he knew someone that knew what the hell was going on so he could talk to them about it or at least have it explained to him. But no one had a goddamn clue.

"Is that really the only thing you think about saying to me whenever you do speak?" Donnie asked, standing up and walking to the television, shutting it off and resting her hand on it while her back was turned on the hunter. She was a little hurt that really that was all he did say to her lately. "No. I didn't find anything, it's been the same nothing it has been for a day."

_I am trying my hardest and I don't know what is going on, everything should be working, we should have a lead already and we don't!_

"Sorry..." Donnie apologized, going to her bed and picking up her beer, sitting down on it she knew that she was sexually frustrated but she wouldn't mind it if Dean actually talked to her or something. "You seem to be suffering from a rough nightmare not to mention confused. What was it about?"

"Nothing."

Dean pushed himself into a sitting position, he wasn't going to talk about this with Donnie, and she wouldn't get it. He wasn't even sure he did, Astarte's presence and the shift were new and confusing arising the temptation to call Sam, but Sam didn't know Astarte like Dean did. Sam had never had any encounter with the Goddess if he knew any better he would count his fucking lucky stars he'd been spared her attentions. Again he thought whether it was really the best to bring either of them back, what if Astarte already found Von...Checking the clock the red lights glowed 1:30AM, a wonderful time to get a drink and hit the books. Not that they would reveal anything new to him after a week of searching, they were going to need more books.

Donnie nodded, she wasn't going to push even though she wanted to know. It was Dean, he wanted to be closed off he could. If she didn't know any better she could pick up an energy around him, flowing out to her like it was coaxing her to come to the hunter and...

_What is that? That's not Dean. Is it?_

Inhaling shakily at the energy surrounding him, somehow it had ventured through his dream, was it him or did something pop up there and snake through? It felt demonic but then there was something else there that held the smell of flowers and she licked her lips knowing that the nectar was just as a sweet as it smelled. Standing up she blinked and shook herself out of it. "I'm going to...um...take a bath," she excused herself rather quickly, heading into the bathroom, forgetting a change of clothes in the process and shutting the door. Hell she forgot to lock it, didn't think it would mean anything and Dean knew she was in there.

Discarding her clothes she stared at herself in the mirror. It was almost as if the energy clung to her and caressed her whispering fantastic things to her. Closing her eyes she sighed and reopened them to find amethyst replacing her green-gray orbs, blinking fast it went away and she wondered what that was about. Donnie didn't want to delve and so she turned the water on in the tub and entered, sliding down she turned her eyes towards the mirror and then the door. Licking her lips she then went under the water to wet her hair and not have to listen to any sound for as long as she could hold her breath.


	12. Chapter 12

**Warning:**** FULL story Rated M for language, sex and violence.**

_This isn't happening..._

Dean swallowed down his nervous heart, Astarte had a way of making it rabbit around in his chest and it was doing that when Donnie moved into the bathroom. But not just the way she seemed to glow like a flame would to a petty moth, the smell of flowers wafted through the room. "The fuck?"

Dean picked at his shirt and smelled himself; he was the one that smelled like flowers, like he had been rolling around in a field of them. His mouth salivated at the aroma and he dragged his lower lip into his mouth as if he could taste it. Shaking his head Dean groaned in frustration, he felt like a caged animal and the room was too small to hold him. His hazel-green orbs locked on the bathroom door, he could hear the water and his breathing. Dean wasn't about to break in there and rape Donnie or anything, she would probably kill him with a wave of her hand without breaking a sweat. He wanted to scream at the Goddess to stop whatever she did to him, he didn't want this; he didn't want her pushing him into something he would regret.

Leon's voice floated into Dean's mind, "It's time to move on Dean. To wake up and smell the flowers. Donnie is like Alex and Von rolled into one person. She wants you, you could tell just by how she rushed away to get away from it. She wouldn't kill you if you tried anything because let's face it...she wants you. Move on," the voice drifted out leaving a laugh and a grin imprinted, he had snuck it in there as Dean was still trying to wake up from the dream.

888

Donnie rose from the water as it washed down her face, inhaling softly she didn't bother washing up as she did this to calm down and cool down. Climbing out she grabbed the towel and began to dry herself off, her hair a deep red from the water like blood and Donnie quickly placed another towel to it to dry before she let that one fall to the floor. Taking up her clothes she entered the other room with the first towel wrapped around her. Going to her duffel she tensed up her abs at the zing to her core, the energy was still intoxicating and surrounding the two of them. Her clothes dropped from her hands and she stared at the bed, before flicking her eyes to Dean.

_Stop shaking breath._

Her throat seemed dry and she felt like there were no words as the energy and smell had in a way stolen them from her being but she managed. "Dean..."

Dean was already standing in front of her staring down at her while Leon's words might have lingered in his ears that wasn't what drove him to move towards the red headed witch. An invisible string was pulling him to her and with a tilt of his head Dean cupped her cheek and gently placed a kiss on her lips. She tasted sweet, like strawberry liquor and there was that tingle of magick that he thought Von might have had if he ever had been given the chance to kiss her. Losing himself to his thoughts and to the kiss he hadn't realized that his other arm had wrapped around Donnie's back to help her keep her balance and to keep her close. She couldn't breathe but her hands were at his neck kneading the skin and muscles there, his facial hair scratching her face and she didn't care.

Donnie inhaled and welcomed the kiss, her body coming closer to him and she felt the magick already in the air, the energy encase them and her breathing hitched from it. It was strange and foreign but stronger than anything she had ever encountered and that was something that was pulling them together. Pulling back only slightly she wanted to say something that they shouldn't be doing this and her insides lurched and tightened.

The butterflies and whatever it was had silenced her as she gasped and brought her lips back to his. His taste was different, unique and his body against hers, his hands even though they were only on her back and her cheek. Donnie's chest felt constricted and she knew that just being against Dean was holding her towel covering her and that thought alone made her moan into the kiss.

_I'm so fucked. What the hell is this...oh god._

Dean deepened the kiss sweetening it while he coaxed her lips to open and traced his tongue over her lip as his mouth closed over hers. He could feel Astarte's Will coursing through his veins and he was eager to oblige in the form of having Donnie in his arms. The towel hid little from his hands and Dean could feel the curves under the soft fabric curves he wanted to explore in greater detail. Sensing her urgency Dean pulled away from the kiss to breathe staring down into her gray-green orbs and he took the edge of the towel and began to tease it away from her soft skin.

Donnie's eyes stared into his as she breathed and while he removed her towel. When it finally hit the ground she exhaled, feeling exposed. It had quite some time since she had actually revealed herself to another man. She had been with men on the road before but not for a few good months and now here she was. Another shock to her core and she knew that she was getting wetter just from his hands lightly running up her curves along her pale skin. Her breasts pressed up against his clothes chest she was like a deer in headlights shy and also wanting to explore herself. It was a quality that she hated a little; she knew when to take control but a lot of the time she didn't do it.

_I want him to take me._

The thought was something that was hers but also she knew it was influenced, because some greater power was enveloping them, greater than her and it was felt amazing and yet she knew it could be destructive. Somehow it was coming from Dean, which meant that it was fueling him more than her but she couldn't stop it if she tried. Did she want to?

Her hands slid from his neck and down his own sides all while remaining eye contact. The intimacy there and strong and her fingers brushed underneath his layered shirts to feel the skin she had caught sight of in the accidents before. Donnie brought her lips to his slowly and began to kiss him once more, her tongue entering his like she was thinking about taking his hand as he asked her to dance. It was like a dance, her tongue brushing his and the inside of his mouth slow, fluent and nothing too rushed unless Dean wanted it to be. She was willing to follow and when the energy and Dean wanted she would act on the control. Sighing into the kiss and his hands touching she arched into him when his hands glided on the curve of her back.

They found themselves on the bed now, both naked since Dean had shed his clothing with Donnie's help and he was positioned above her canopying her beautifully pale body. Which was remarkably free of freckles compared to Von's that looked like she'd been dusted lightly with cinnamon. He knew he shouldn't have been comparing but he couldn't help it not with where his thoughts were, a beautiful red haired witch of all things was naked on a bed underneath him and he had every intention of making this morning memorable. Leaning down he kissed her, lips travelling down to graze her neck and collarbone and rising back up as his hips came to rest gently on top of hers.

Donnie gasped at his hips to hers and she looked down their bodies to see him resting just there. Bringing her sights back up she stared at him like he was a God. His body was amazing despite what he had done to it with the alcohol, lack of food but he had been doing better. It was still stunning and her hands were fisted in the bed sheets only slightly before removing them and going to his abs to feel them, trailing up to his Pecs and feeling every scar he had and even traced the protection tattoo on his chest.

Her mouth remained open as she breathed. Fingers finding their way to his shoulders, tilting her head a bit so her gaze could follow. Her hand landed on his scar and she furrowed her brow only a tinge before she relaxed her face and rose up, one arm behind her as she kissed the burned hand scar, bringing her head to his collarbone and laying butterfly kisses along there and his neck before being face to face, lowering his head down with her body as she met his lips softly. Each capture of his lips seemed to take extremely long seconds like the kiss itself was love making and could cause orgasms at any moment.

Pulling back from him she widened her legs a little to have him feel closer. She couldn't remember how they got onto the bed or how they got Dean undressed but it had happened and now they were here. Her stomach rolled and her abs sucked in. Silence pervaded the room, their breathing audible and floating between them, one hand taking his she placed it on her breast with a gentleness of direction. No words. Just touches, kisses and sounds. That's all she wanted and she knew that was all he wanted too.

Dean breathed against her neck, kissing it while he allowed her to guide his hand over her body until he had mapped out enough of it to follow his own path. Every touch sent an electric current up his hand and down his spine and he enjoyed paying special attention to her breasts because she made soft sounds that were as arousing as they were adorable when he brushed his fingers over the pebbled peaks. Sliding down he took one of the hardened pebbles in his mouth, kissing it softly and licking it like it was a miniature ice cream cone.

His hand slid under her back when it arched and he helped her to rise up taking more of her into his mouth with gentle ease. Releasing carefully he nuzzled between her breasts moving upwards, the approach positioning him between her legs and his hips rocked ever so. Feeling the moist heat made him moan slightly and he closed his eyes to kiss her opening them when he pulled away to stare deep into her orbs.

Her eyes fluttered open as if she was feeling the most amazing sensations and she was. Donnie closed her mouth to swallow and she knew instantly what she wanted to do before he entered her. Slowly and carefully she lead him onto his back with her on top, kissing his lips, down his chin and onto his nipples she lightly circled her fingers around it before she led the kisses to his navel. Her other hand went to his hip bone to feel as her breasts were no doubt right where he was and she could feel them as her heart beat. As he throbbed.

She lowered more, her lips leaving mementos behind before she took him in her hand tentatively. The energy coming off of Dean was palpable but there was something of needed fulfillment and she stared up at him as she snaked her tongue out on his head. Bringing it back into her mouth to capture the flavor she brought her lips closer and wrapped around the top her lips separated before she slid her mouth off with her tongue caressing the slit like a kiss she would have given his mouth. Starting at the bottom of his shaft she kissed and then licked before making it to the top, lingering till her buds reached his slit again and this time she wrapped her mouth around him fully before encasing him with a slow speed downward.

Normally she wasn't one to give head to a guy but for some reason doing it to Dean made her like it just a bit. Donnie would say that magick was indeed in the air coming from him and her as well as her giving service to him, giving him attention and his needs met she felt a surge of power and pleasure from it that she knew he felt when he was attending to her breasts. Donnie continued up and down without speeding up or slowing too much down but when he bucked twice she removed him and crawled upwards toward him after one more kiss below.

Kissing her way back up she turned on her side beside the hunter and her hand made sure he turned with her to face her. Even as he took his previous place over her, Donnie couldn't stop staring at him. Her hands rested on his biceps before landing back on the sheets at her hips while her mouth reconnected with his and her chest arched into his from the taste as she inhaled him in. Tasting both flavors of him at once.

Dean kissed her while his shoulders rolled, bringing him up and his hips down, taking a brief glance of her before he tucked his head down. Kissing and licking a trail up to her ear he teased at her earlobe one forearm supporting his weight while the other hand played along her side, fingers tickling over her ribs. Donnie was warm and smooth, and she had gentleness to her that he really needed right now. As time went on Alex wanted it more and more rough and Dean was willing to play into that because he would be lying if he said he hadn't enjoyed it to some degree. But he didn't like it rough all the time; he needed there to be that feeling of love however superficial or primal it might have been. Dean needed to feel like he was loved the only way he knew how, maybe now he didn't regret staying with Donnie as much as he had before.

He was ready and could tell she was getting close to being ready too. He would give it more time and give her more attention. Dean throbbed against her entrance eager but patient willing to take the time and care to have this moment with her. Donnie really was beautiful and so very unique and he was grateful even if Astarte's will had initiated their contact and progress into this act. For all the fear Dean had of her the Goddess had her reasons but he wasn't thinking much on that right now, he was only thinking about Donnie.

She swallowed her eyes trailing down to his hand that was mapping her out while he paid attention to her neck and earlobe. Donnie licking her lips when his hand went just below her navel and she held her breath expecting him to go further but he moved away. Arching her neck, tearing her sights away from his attentions, she fisted her hands in the sheets once more when he waited at her entrance below a small sound escaped her throat and past her lips in an exhale like she was whimpering but not quite.

The more his hand teased her skin and drifted lower she wanted him to touch her down there and he kept avoiding it. Donnie wasn't one to force or direct, but allowed them to get there when they wanted to and her body shuddered at his lips and tongue and the anticipation. She bit her bottom lip off to the side as she exhaled, inhaling a sound like a gasp left her and her hands left the sheets to go to his back not gripping but not hovering either as she softly let them be there and go up and down his backside.

_Dean..._

No words would escape her mouth, only breathing and gasps. No words were necessary it seemed the thing coming from Dean, the energy didn't want that. Donnie understood, words couldn't describe what simple gasps, breathing, sighs and moans could. It made it more...Donnie couldn't think, but she knew that this was the most loving foreplay that she had ever had, comforting and she felt loved and felt like she was giving it back as she lightly brought her mouth to his own neck and kissed.

Dean had given her gentle teasing enough, building her anticipation carefully for the right moment for him to return the kindness she gave to him. A single finger found it way between her warm folds sliding easily towards her entrance to feel the heat and moisture. Collecting some on the tip of his finger he smooth it upwards to her nub, circling around the pearl counter-clockwise as he applied subtle pressure. Hearing her moan and feeling her clench he throbbed harder, no not yet, he wasn't ready quit yet despite what his body wanted. Dean was too happy to give her this, running his finger back down he now added a second to the task, circling around her entrance and returning to her nub to stroke lovingly. He met her lips with the same love and care with an added heat to the kiss that showed how passionate he was about what he was doing.

Kissing him back as she inhaled and moaned, the sound almost delicate and fragile as it entered his mouth. The pads of her fingers were pressing lightly, not enough to hurt and not little enough to just glide. Her mouth opening against his and a sharp exhale and rapid inhale came out at his fingers. Her stomach rolled and gained that zap through and down to her core which caused her to grow wetter even as his fingers played below. Connecting her lips back to his, one hand drifted lazily up, feeling his skin and everything else before landing on his stubble cheek.

Donnie accepted the kiss, accepted the heat that was with it and acted in turn, nothing too extreme but enough to let him know that she understood, she enjoyed it, giving the comfort of it as well as the passion. She slowly tilted her hips upwards before released it down as she arched her back. Releasing from his mouth her eyes shut and her hands cupping his face as her mouth opened to let a moan release on her breath that was a tad louder than her softer ones she had been doing earlier. The more he ran his fingers up and down and in circles the more her breathing was picking up another level.

Fluttering her eyes open she looked into his green orbs that had been watching her moan and react to him. She let her hands fall from his face, fingers like feathers brushing off to land on either side of her head, not gripping the pillow or her hair but pressing into both. Another moan left her and her breathing hitched in the middle of it, nearly startling her. Dean was very good and he knew what he was doing, but he also cared about what he was doing which made her love it all the more.

Circling around once more he delved his fingers inside, giving them a flick with a twist on the pull out and slowly moving back inside. With each breath he moved his fingers in and out, flicking just as he pulled out and on his last movement he gently teased the delicate pearl with careful precision. Staring into her gray-green orbs he positioned himself at her entrance.

Thrusting up to the hilt and taking a moment for her to become used to his size, before he began an easy rhythm. Dean's breathing picked up, back muscles clenching and rolling while he worked inside of Donnie. A small moan escaped him close to her ear and he raised himself up on his hands to roll his hips against hers while she received him. Donnie felt amazing and the energy coming from him and surrounding them radiated out like a warm breeze.

Donnie worked with Dean not just going to sit there and take it like most girls would. Hot body, but no talent. She was not that kind of girl. The red head brought her hips up to meet his and hearing him moan so close to her ear made her moan in turn. A reply. She brought her hand up to cup the back of his neck as she brought his mouth to hers, needing his taste as he thrust into her, the feeling of him inside mind blowing and his size. It was immaculate and definitely not what she had ever had before. Brushing within against places that she never thought could be reached and sending her nerves on a shock of electricity.

Sweat decorated their bodies at the effort it took to go slow and only picking up enough to get a rhythm but the pace was intimate. It was right. Donnie whined into his mouth as her eyes squeezed shut tighter, her other hand finding his chest and splaying there. Never before had she heard that sound from her and her abs clenched, the bubble growing more and more. The need to hold it the more it grew but with each thrust and hip tilt it sent the sparks around that bubble and one popped it.

A moan tore from her mouth as her lips broke from his and she rested her forehead in the crook of his neck to the side. Donnie wasn't ready to finish yet, she knew Dean wasn't as he rode her through it and continued onward. The bubble being blown up again only to grow once more. Donnie kissed his skin where she rested, admiring his collarbone before she pulled her head away and stared dead into his green orbs. Her green-gray blinking and her throat convulsed, breathing picking up, mouth open and the moan started out low to break into a gasp, her eyes shutting and head thrown back against the pillow at the next orgasm that hit.

_Two. Fuck._

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**March 7, 2009 12:05PM  
>Lanice's Motel, Room 17 Dyersburg, Nashville<strong>

Dean woke to the noon day sun glaring off the snow and into the one and only slit in the curtain of the motel room. The light penetrated his lids in a vibrant red haze against his eyes that flashed in time with the shrieking scream of a demon from his dream. Eyes drifting to half mast and scrunching Dean turned away to face the back of a woman sharing the same bed as him and in the easily confused state of half consciousness his mind tinkered for a split second with the idea that it was Von because of the way the sun danced across her red hair. But the color was off and there were no freckles and then Dean's brow furrowed with alarm and confusion at the scarring on Donnie's back.

Gingerly he took a finger and hooked it over the strand of hair that was in the way, revealing to him what it said, it made his opinion on humanity wane that much more. 'Burn Witch' was branded into her skin, the message of hate immortalized forever in her flesh and the only blemish on her that Dean had seen. The psychological damage however would have been a thousand times worse. Staring at it he quieted his thoughts when Donnie began to stir and he carefully pulled his hand back to his side.

Partially turned the sun caught Donnie's grey-green iris in such a way as to make it glow violet and Dean had to think again at the impossibility of it as his heart leap in his chest. As she continued to turn the illusion disappeared as quickly as it had shown up and Dean tried to get his heart beating proper without calling attention to him. Having some success he gave her his best charmingly sleepy smile, he didn't believe in good mornings but this one wasn't all that bad.

Donnie faced Dean on the bed and she remembered everything that happened between them. It was nice but she also wondered what energy that was encouraging it and coming from Dean. She was about to ask after she smiled back a bit and decided not to. She didn't want to ruin something. Staring into his eyes as they lay under the covers naked, she couldn't help a roll through her stomach in happiness at what they did. How he made her feel and how she repaid the comfort. Donnie had to say that was the best...well it didn't feel like it was _just_sex.

Inhaling and giving a satisfied moan of having slept great and even the little feelings of the act stuck on her. Blinking she could almost see the flashes of every possible heightened sensation but that meant everything flashed through her mind. Behind her lids in the split second it took to blink. Nervous on what Dean would do or say she instead brought her head to rest on his chest and thoughtfully stared at the skin before the sheet started to cover other things. Listening and feeling him breathing, his heart beating she sighed. From the small little things of what his heart was doing, trying to calm itself she wondered if he had another nightmare. Since she met him he'd been having them every night and it was hard for her not to notice.

Donnie placed a soft delicate kiss on his chest for comfort, hoping that even one small thing could wash away something from his mind for even a few moments. Her eyes found some scars and she wondered just how he got them. What hunt went with each one and the story entailed to it. If she hadn't been mistaken she thought she had felt him looking at her own scar. The one on her back of the burned and carved words, along with the disfigured attempt at a burned and carved cross. It was forever there and she couldn't deny that it was a rough thing but she had learned to deal. In a way it was a part of her, a thing in the past that she had overcome.

Bringing her frame up she turned her body and looked down into his green orbs. "Thank you...and...You're welcome."

_What we did was different, beautiful and amazing._

Her brows furrowed a bit and she knew that she had to bring up the question and as she was about to ask it, it appeared that Dean knew already. His finger on her lips to quiet and she waited. What was he going to say? What was he going to do?

Dean knew, like she had already uttered the question to him, his finger stayed on her soft lips with not a single word passing them. Would he tell her, could he? It wasn't something that could easily be explained or expressed, Dean wasn't exactly sure what it was that had passed between them in the early morning aside from body fluids. Astarte, at least some essence of her, had shown up last night to give them a gentle nudge towards the intimate act of love making that transpired in the wee hours of the morning.

He couldn't tell Donnie why she did it or even how, for all he knew she was still locked up in one of the lowest, darkest pits of Hell. Or maybe she wasn't anymore since Von was down there; maybe she was digging her way out. The thought made Dean involuntarily shiver like someone had walked on his grave. What would happen if she got out, he knew things about her that no one did and things that everyone knew, that she hated humans more than Dean thought anyone could hate anything.

Holding Donnie's gaze Dean removed his finger and laid his lips lightly over hers, he couldn't tell her, he had never told Sam or even Alex who had had her own experiences with the Goddess. He thought maybe they could share that but really they couldn't, they couldn't come close. "I don't really know what happened..."

It was the truth without having to tell a story about it, that was the difference between him and Sam. Sammy would want to tell a story about it, get all the details out and have people make their judgments and so on, that was never something Dean liked to do or was very good at unless it was relating a case to get another hunter to give his opinion. Pushing thoughts of the deadly Goddess from his mind Dean reached up and brushed the stray strands of Donnie's long red hair from her face and cupped the back of her head. Leaning forward he took her lips again, enjoying the soft warmth, sweet and inviting.


	13. Chapter 13

**March 11th, 2009 : Day of the Full Moon  
>Roswell, New Mexico<br>Bluebird Motel, Room 10  
>3:16 PM<strong>

Sam had listened to Lucifer as he spoke to him 5 days ago. He had listened. Now it was the contemplation of believing or even acting on anything. He was the vessel for Lucifer. What did that mean? That the guy that Lucifer was riding now wasn't good enough for him? What was scarier was the fact that he had been confronted by the devil himself and it was unsettling. Should he call Dean and tell him? He had been wondering if he should and what Dean would say on the matter...

If anything he wondered in general how his brother was even doing. Long time since he had seen him and spoken to him. Would he even pick up? Would he care or would he only be concerned with the fact if Sam had found Donnie or not? He hadn't found Donnie along the road of waiting for that showcase he was supposed to do in Chicago in a few weeks. Sam huffed, turning around from the bathroom and he knew before he even entered who was there.

"Castiel..." he acknowledged.

The last time they spoke it wasn't on good terms considering the angel was talking about how Alex and Von couldn't be saved and how they were meant to be in Hell and not be risen. Sam was still angry about that and seeing the angel now, especially hours before the full moon would rise was reckless and didn't help at all. The angel brought his attention to the hunter as he moved over to his laptop on the convenience counter.

"He has come to you hasn't he?" Castiel asked.

It was what he feared, he was cut off from heaven but he knew things. He hadn't thought what it would mean to keep the brothers in plain sight of the other angels and Lucifer until recently when he found out where the Michael Sword was. Until he found out more that he had missed. Information that was important and after he left here he would visit Dean to let him know as well. It was far beyond what he imagined but he understood why it was the way it was.

"Yeah. So?" Sam asked, clenching his jaw and turning to face the angel full on instead of ignoring him. "When were you going to tell me that I was his vessel? Before or after it was too late?"

"I didn't know."

"Bull shit!"

"I didn't. Nor did I know about your brother's circumstance, not till now."

Sam was confused as Castiel stepped forward and placed his hand on his chest, a searing pain stabbed his ribs and the angel stepped back. The tall hunter hissed and glared at Castiel while he rubbed the area. "What was that for? And what do you mean my brother's circumstance?"

888

Donnie was smiling as she was in the car with the hunter, her notebook in her lap as she was writing her inspiration for a new song. 5 days later and she couldn't stop thinking about that moment with Dean. They would kiss and stuff since then but so far they'd been working. On the job. Tapping her pen on her thigh in a random tune playing her head as she wrote.

_'You should be wilder. You're no fun at all. Yeah thanks for the input. Thanks for the call. With dull knives and white hands. The blood of a stone. Cold to the touch right. Right down to the bone. But you-oooh. Give me the electric twist and it kicks, and it kicks like a pony. And true-oooh you might get away with it, it's a risk, it's a risk yeah.'_

Bringing her attention up to him as his was on the road as he drove. They had found a hunt, surprisingly they did and it was in Norfolk, Nebraska. It was nearing the time that she would need to get some money and she knew that when they get there after the job is done-her first hunt-Dean would need to do whatever he did to get money and she would do her thing. So she scheduled a show at the bar called The Green Pig there for Friday Night. After all she had some new material, just three new songs and she'd play some old ones as well.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw something in the backseat. More like someone and she was about to act on it when Dean swerved a bit from the surprise and she dropped her book onto the car floor as she braced herself. Dean righting the car in the lane, her attention went to the man in the back. Looking and seeing a trench coat, loosened tie and a bad suit, but the eyes told a different story.

Castiel's orbs fell onto the red head in the seat, if he didn't know any better he swore that this woman looked like Von but he knew it wasn't. He was very aware of who this woman was. "I see you found Donnie St. Lewis," he said, his eyes turning to Dean's in curiosity. "Why haven't you told Sam?"

"How do you know my name?" Donnie asked before Dean could answer.

"I'm an Angel of the Lord, I know." Blinking furiously to understand she swallowed. Castiel continued. "I have news to tell you Dean. About the Michael Sword and your brother."

888

**March 11, 2009 4:16PM  
>Carlsbad, New Mexico<br>Happy Pekoe motel**

Dean and Donnie had a good thing going, well at least a half decent thing going. They both knew where the other stood in this relationship they had, or whatever it should have been called. This wasn't going to be serious, this was friends getting to know one another with added benefits, however special that one night had been between them, they both recognized that, but it was safer if they didn't get too attached. It was what Dean needed and Donnie knew that, Dean knew she did, he also knew that she had needed what had happened between them in her own way too. And besides they were actually getting along pretty well without Astarte's suggestive nudging in Dean's mind and body. Whatever sway the Goddess had had cooled off over the last three days but Dean could still feel her presence as true as the sun shone.

"Explain to me again what the fuck you're trying' to say, I'm a vessel?" Dean jabbed a finger accusingly into his own chest burning a hole into the angel's crystalline blue eyes with his fiery jade orbs. He had chosen to ignore Castiel's question about him not telling Sam anything, Sam didn't have to know, and he wanted to ignore what Cas had to say about Sam but he couldn't. "And what about Sam?" he demanded suddenly choosing not to look over at Donnie who was no doubt staring at him and his terrible temper. "You're tryin' to tell me he's Satan's Muppet?"

"That's precisely what I am saying. From one of my brothers that had taken the time out to tell me and is paying for the act against the other angels. If he hadn't informed me we would not know. Don't worry Sam is safe for now, he cannot be found by any angel, including Lucifer and myself. I'll have to do the same for you," he said, his hand resting on Dean's chest and burning the Enochian symbols into his ribs before stepping back.

Donnie stared at the angel and then at Dean. There was more to the brothers than she had heard about and it boggled her mind. More to suffer over and she stepped up and towards the angel. "Excuse me, but Castiel is it? I think you've overstayed your welcome. The information you gave us may not be entirely accepted with gratitude but we are glad we know at least..." she said, knowing Dean was about to speak and she held up her hand muting his voice effectively, giving him an apology with her eyes to cool it. "Please can you leave? If we need you we'll call you."

The angel stared at the red head. She could calm down the Winchester like Von could, holding similar qualities that astounded him and he was curious about her genetic code or what her reason for being alive was for. He couldn't know with being cut off from heaven and hunted down but he could find ways. Castiel wasn't too happy with the red head witch but he understood. These two needed each other and were becoming friends. They were going to be each other's rock to support one another and the shoulder to fall on.

Disappearing in a sound of wings, Donnie let her hand fall and exhaled. Turning to Dean she wanted to take away that look on his face. The one that said he didn't want to be the vessel, the one that asked what did that mean to be the vessel of an archangel and the look that said what did that mean about his brother Sam? Donnie placed her hand on his cheek and had him stare her in the eyes. "You want to know what this means? It means that nothing has changed. It's your decision whether you allow yourself to be the vessel and whether you allow your brother as well. No one can force you. Got it?"

Letting her hand drop she was glad that they had become friends. That happened to have benefits. It was something different and new and she was okay with it. But friends with Dean were easier than most friendships could begin and be with a lot of guys. A kiss on his cheek and she went to her bag to grab something but on the way she couldn't remember what as she felt an energy that wasn't too far away pulsate and she cried out as she fell to the floor at the bed. Her eyes wide she grabbed her chest at the pain and sorrow it was giving out. Panic entered her and she crawled towards the bed where her bag lay and pulled it down shakily causing nearly everything to spill out onto the floor.

_Animal. Something. There is an animal, very powerful animal or is it a being...that is near. Not too near but..._

She screamed out as she gripped her head and curled onto the carpet. Her eyes stared past Dean as he knelt in front of her and she swore she saw it. Amber eyes staring into her gray orbs. Swallowing as it licked it's lips, the energy nearly manifesting itself in her mind and body and she was soaking it in unconsciously. Donnie stared at it with its brown fur coat with red and black threaded through the fine and yet bristled hair. It wasn't seeing her but she could see it. The hunger hit her next and she bit her bottom lip and kicked out as she rolled onto her back with a speed that scared her.

_What is going on? I've never had this happen to me before._

Her back arched and she cried, it wasn't her bones but she could feel the bones shift in that animal as it became bigger. Something was forcing it to change, grow and it was caressing down her spine. That was when she realized it as she gasped out the word. "Werewolf."

_Werewolf?_

"Donnie?"

Dean gripped the red head's arms and tried to bring her up into a sitting position to look at him but she kicked out and landed a hit to his shin which sent him on his side from being knocked off balance. Staring at her bewildered, did this kind of thing happen often, was it some kind of vision or was she tuning into werewolf-vision? Dean had learned that witches apparently had some connection to werewolves, or rather used them for dirty work they didn't want to be directly involved in. Thing was a kitchen witch couldn't pull off that kind of control not with a werewolf; the beast would eat them alive in an instant.

Luka a powerful witch that had an uncomfortable interest in Von had several at her beck and call and had once ensnared Sam. Dean remembered it well, his own brother cutting into him and the look on his face how deeply he enjoyed it and the glazed ecstasy in his eyes when he licked the blood off the blade. Sam's actions might have been controlled but his satisfaction in the bloodthirsty act wasn't. Sam was an animal, which was why when a werewolf was mentioned his thoughts instantly veered towards his cursed brother. In his anger and distrust he had left his sibling to fend for himself and maybe he could, if he wasn't a monster that risked having a mob of hunters gunning after him.

"What are you seeing?" Dean asked expectantly, he wasn't sure if this was actually some kind of vision but it had the signs of one, he knew from being there for Sam and Von when they had theirs. He had to know every detail to figure out what was going on, was this just some random werewolf or was this Sam and if it was Sam how did this connection come about, was he close or was there more to it?

Donnie felt the growl trickle from her mouth as she closed her eyes and snapped them open. Imagining the amber filling her eyes like it was on the werewolf, as it had done with the amethyst before she had sex with Dean that night. "It's shifting," she ground out and a snarl left her as her body jerked back and she screamed again, her eyes turning back to gray and she whimpered when she felt it was over, placing up that block though it was hard as it smashed up against it.

_It knows that there is a witch nearby, it can sense me._

Inhaling sharply as she sat up and crawled for her spilled items she grabbed a vial that would help her not feel anything and she drank it down. Screwing up her face she slowly closed her eyes and slid back like she was rolling her body down one vertebra at a time but it wasn't planned. Staring up at the ceiling she couldn't feel it anymore but she could see it as it cleaned itself, as it ate the shredded bits but she hadn't seen the face of it as it changed only the rest of it. Donnie turned her head to look at Dean and she was calming down her breathing.

"I've never...had that happen in my life...it was strong and...it seems since I've met you that my abilities are growing. Normally I never pick up on things that accurately. That or I've avoided it blindly without knowing. Oh fuck, that was...it had brown, black and red fur. The emotions coming off of it was something that I'd expect to find in a serial killer."

_Is it Sam? Is it Sam?_

Dean gripped Donnie's arm without realizing it yet the question would not escape past the lump in his throat. With so little detail Dean was already so sure it was Sam that Donnie was picking up on. Brown fur with black and red, it fit, serial killer vibe was a little too close to the mark Dean wasn't happy to believe it was coincidence. There was no Von around to calm Sam down now and Dean in his anger and pride had abandoned his brother the monster to his own devices. To his fangs and his claws, if he got loose and hurt or ate someone it would be on Dean's head.

"What else?" He didn't mean to shake her but he did only partially and not enough to jar her painfully, still his frantic behavior must have had a startling affect on her. Dean couldn't say why, not unless it came down to the wire, he didn't want anyone knowing what Sam was for obvious reasons.

Donnie blinked a few times and actually placed her hands on his chest, to stay from being shaken more. She stared into his green orbs. "It knows that I'm nearby. It can't be too far from us Dean. My guess, a few towns away, in the same state maybe. The last thought that I got from it...was it wanted to find me and would do anything to get to me."

_I'm scared._

She knew that her gray orbs showed it. Never had she run into an actual werewolf, she had heard about them and skirted around them lucky to not have run into them and them not running into her. Hearing of kills being made and hunters going to figure it out right as she left. Lucky. This time she wasn't so lucky. It appeared though with how Dean was acting that he knew the werewolf and she wondered who it was. Concern was there and if she didn't know any better, it could have been family or a close friend.

"It's on its way here. I've never had that happened before. I wouldn't call it a vision as I have seen few people have visions and it's different for them. This was more like I tuned in. I know that witches and werewolves have a connection and they draw to each other like magnets but this would be my first werewolf that I have run into," Donnie said, and she hadn't realized she was crying and shaking by her own fear at seeing the light in the amber orbs. It wasn't one of wanting to kill her but something more. It was also the fact that it would kill to get to her to know more about her, to find her.

_I'm so scared and I've never been so scared in my entire life._

"Do you know this werewolf?" she asked, trying to stop crying and shaking but as she let her hands fall and slid out of Dean's grip somehow she crawled over to her things to put them back in the bag, her breathing heavy and close to wheezing like an asthmatic but otherwise she was just frightened out of her mind. "And don't say no because I know that look on your face."

Dean looked away, swallowing and clenching his jaw. "Yeah, I know him," he ground out like it was a painful thing to have to say.

If it was Sam which he had a strange feeling it was he was headed for them because of Donnie, because of the strange bond that witches had with werewolves. And because of that and what she had been forced to see she was scared out of her damn mind, Dean hadn't really helped in the matter. Dean watched her stuff her belongings back into her bag and then he crawled over to help her with the last of it.

"I'm gonna make sure nothin' happens to you...but we have to let him find you."

He knew it sounded crazy and more than dangerous and it was, Sam wasn't an ordinary werewolf even by Loup-Garou standards. Maybe if Von were here she would be able to explain but she wasn't so they had nothing, no books or charts or rumors had said anything, Loup-Garous after all were supposed to be practically extinct. They would go somewhere away from people to try and lessen those that might come across Sam and the trail of death he was want to leave behind in order to find the witch. An abandoned farm or warehouse would do the trick, any place where they could set a trap in order to catch Sam and stop him from hurting anyone.

"We need to go." Dean helped her up and began to quickly pack his own items. "Anything else you see you gotta tell me alright? Road signs, buildings, anything like that," the hunter instructed and took her hand to lead her out the door to the Impala.

Sam was good enough at tracking as a human, that trained skill was advanced ten fold as a werewolf. If they had any luck they would get to a safe place and be able to set up before Sam became too close, they still had no idea where exactly he was. Dean knew though that a Loup-Garou was close enough to being able to fly as he wanted any large furry beast to be able to be. It was a speed not many could outdo even at their best.

_But we have to let him find me?_

Donnie wanted to yell frantically at him that he was insane but nodded. Went along, he knew what he was doing and maybe he was right. If they didn't let the werewolf find her then the death toll would rise. Once they were in the car she made sure to keep her mind as clear as possible, directing them to a farmstead that wasn't too horribly out of use but it was good enough. Helping Dean take out items to set up she was in the middle of helping when she tensed up and her eyes widened, her breathing hitching. A howl echoed on the wind and she hurried with Dean and finishing she knew they were out of time.

She heard the growl and padding of feet and hands on the earth outside. Donnie hadn't realized how fast her heart was beating, how much she was breathing and how frozen she was. She screamed when something smashed off to the right like glass and a thud shortly after. The worst thing was that she knew she needed to focus; she needed to use her abilities against the wolf in case it got out of hand and she knew that she could. Knowing Dean was nearby but not in sight, didn't mean that the werewolf didn't know that Dean was there.

Sam moved his hulking frame, showing the very sign of not being his full wolf but the actual beast that he was supposed to be. Moving into the light of the place he watched the red head with amber eyes. He studied her knowing it wasn't Von as the smell was different but she looked too much like her and she was a witch. Sam had traveled long and hard and very fast so then he could get to where she was passing along the scent. What got him was that he could smell his brother on her and in the place. He wasn't stupid to not notice the impala parked outside. Licking his lips he was hungry for blood, he had been deprived of it for so long and the full moon plus Lucifer visiting him.

A snarl left him and he bared his teeth in what could have been a grin of delight at her reaction of jumping. Huffing he stepped closer and was circling her, about ready to pounce on her when he felt her sway. It wasn't the moon but it was something else. Donnie's eyes had hardened on him despite her fear and she tried to make him calm down. Not want to attack her. When he barked at her she broke the connection and went to run as she screamed Dean's name and knew the werewolf was in the air and over her. Even as she heard the shot and she was on the ground with the werewolf on top of her. It was the fact that it was limp that got her attention.

_I think I've gained a fear. Werewolves. I do not like werewolves._

Pushing the limp animal off of her she scrambled away on her hands and knees before wrapping her arms around her bent knees curled inwards as she sat. "I hate being bait. I hate being a witch sometimes. This is one of those times," she said as Dean came out and she watched him take care of the werewolf.

"Did he scratch or bite you?" Dean asked as he knelt down in front of the massive beast, eyeing it warily while it had rest forced upon it.

Its fangs were veiled behind a closed mouth, large pointed ears relaxed loosely against it's head and eyes closed. Next were the curved black claws as long as Dean's fingers, sharp enough to hook into prey and drag it down as it shredded it to ribbons. Paws that were more like hands but twice the size maybe more of Dean's were stretched out at awkward angles, one underneath and behind the large animal's back where it had fallen and the other curled in front of it. It was hard to think of Sam in a familial sense when he was in this shape but blood was blood and Sammy would always be his little brother. A part of him felt terrible and guilty as all hell for having to do this but it was what was best for Sam.

Taking the tranquilizer gun Dean dosed him again to make sure he stayed out while they chained him up. Dean had riveted the special chains Von had made into the cement floor of the old barn and drew symbols around them that he remembered from one of her books regarding binding. The area was set as best as it could be, now the problem was getting Sam to the end of the barn where the restraints were. Donnie was terrified and he was still waiting to hear back on if she was injured. He knew Sam was knocked out but he still felt like he was taking a big risk turning his head away to find Donnie curled up in a sitting position. In that moment he really did realize how different she was from Alex and Von, she wasn't meant for this kind of life and Dean in his own way was glad for that despite his worry that worse things would happen to her because of her lack of experience.

"No. I don't...no..." she said then looking at herself, shaking herself out of it. She had to.

There were no signs of scratches or bites, which meant she was safe and she slowly stood. Coming over to Dean cautiously and standing next to him to stare at the werewolf. That was what they looked like. If anything he looked almost peaceful when he wasn't wanting to attack her. Wasn't staring at her like he was hungry. Donnie exhaled and swallowed, kneeling down to the sleeping form and placed her hand tentatively on the cheek of the animal, finding it not stirring as she brushed it down the length of the body and noticing what felt like contentment releasing from the werewolf.

Inhaling after holding her breath she hovered her hand over the body and the other followed suit. A feeling of lifting and weightlessness, a feather came to mind and soon the werewolf was floating over the floor. She had to keep concentration. With how long she had been a witch, which was her whole life and making sure to know her abilities, she began to stand and walk forward, the body following towards the bolted in chains that Dean had. He had done so much already, it was time that she sucked it up no matter how much she wanted to scream and run. This was not her life but if she hadn't run into Dean it still would have found her. At least she had someone to protect her and teach her the ropes of hunting to tack onto her list of things she could physically do.

Once there she let the body lightly soak back to the floor, lowering her hands to her sides as she moved almost graceful, silent and doll-like if anything as she went to the shackles to placed them on the wrists avoiding the claws. Knowing Dean was watching her, wondering what to think. She knew when to be professional and when to push through things that made one uncomfortable. Donnie St. Lewis was vulnerable in senses that Alex and Von probably weren't, but she was strong in ways that shocked many.

Finishing up she removed the tranquilizer darts carefully. It was interesting as well as scary. The werewolf wasn't too bad even though it tried to attack her. Or...what had it tried to do? Stop her from running? Eat her? Infect her? She didn't know and wouldn't know until it woke up and shifted or just plainly woke up from the stuff. Which with it not being a normal animal it wouldn't take too long. She studied things. A natural bookworm and at the same time someone who wasn't so innocent.

"I think I'll be fine. We all have our fears and god forbid they scare us to the point we can't keep all our reserve and control. But I can push through; I've done it my whole life, why should this be any different? Now Dean," she paused, walking in front of him and making sure that her feelers were connected to the wolf in case it woke up while her back was turned to it. "Who is this werewolf?"

_I may be scared but I want to help. I want to protect them both, save them both. Yet I don't know this werewolf. Just from the touch I can tell that just by seeing me, deep down inside, I was familiar. Like I was familiar to Dean deep inside. As if they saw someone else in my place or that I looked a lot like a lost one..._

"Who do I remind you of? Who do I remind the both of you of? I want to help and in order to do that I need to know things."

"He's my brother."

Yes Dean gave in that easily but she was going to find out sooner than later especially when or if Sam changed back. He wouldn't tonight, the moon had him and nothing could undo the power of her sway. Dean figured Donnie knew enough for the time being, he didn't want to talk about Von or Alex, not now. She didn't need to know anything about Von in order to help them and she probably knew enough about Alex without him having to say much of anything aside from the most recent developments.

It was easy to see over her shoulder at the limp form of Sam on the ground, securely chained and unconscious his chest rising and falling in deep even breaths. Even though it was forced upon him he looked damn peaceful and Dean might have been envious if it wasn't for his fear of what was going on in Sam's head. Dean would wager Sam would not be happy when he woke up, his anger and bloodlust would glare through the grogginess of what sedative remained in his veins. Until then they would wait and Dean would continue to avoid answering Donnie's questions, he couldn't bring himself to talk about Von maybe Sam would have more of a heart to. Sam was always the weepy emotional one that wanted to share and hug.

He never thought he'd say it, but he longed for the old days when it was just hunting and none of this destiny bullshit that had been shoved down their throats. When he was free on the road to screw as many chicks as he pleased and to hunt with his brother at his side. Now it was all gone to shit with nothing but pain and scars deeper than flesh to show for it. Dean carried on like a good little soldier doing all that he could to keep from landing in the nut house.


	14. Chapter 14

**March 11th, 2009  
>Full Moon: 7:00 PM<strong>

Hours had passed and Donnie had not asked any other questions knowing the instant that Dean had answered that this werewolf was his brother...he wouldn't answer anymore. She had sat down at the exact length the chains would allow the werewolf and she knew that if he were to wake up and come after her there would be a space where an apple could be between their faces. Dangerous but she wasn't one to hold onto her fears her whole life like Alex. That was different. If Alex were here right now, she didn't know what she'd do entirely. For all she knew after they had parted ways Alex had changed tactics. No shooting the werewolf and killing it, not this time.

Donnie couldn't kill the werewolf if she tried either and not because Dean had said it was his brother. But because she could feel what was coming off him. Sadness. Immense sadness. He was hurting inside and the werewolf connection with witches made her feel it. Hell, it made her wonder if Dean was feeling that same hurt for Alex and Von. She never knew Von, never met her but she would have liked to. She swallowed as she watched the sleeping werewolf begin to stir and slowly blink it's amber orbs open.

_So this is the Sam Winchester that has been looking for me as well._

Sam woke up, feeling a little groggy but not overly. His body had worked off the tranquilizers and he remembered everything that happened. The hunger was still inside, the withdrawal and even the fact that he swore he saw Von sitting not too far from him but far enough. He was chained that was blatantly obvious and yet he still shot forward and yelped at the end of his tethers. Growling in the red head's face before calming instantly. Her sway washed over him and settled him down, not anything like Von's or the moons, nor was it anything like Luka's that he had remembered. But different.

With this woman being a witch he had to guess that Dean had found a different one instead of Donnie but he knew different as well. This was Donnie St. Lewis. Not a guy, but a woman who happened to look like his deceased mate. It didn't pain him too much that he could tell that Dean's scent lingered on her so it gave knowledge that Dean had had sex with her at one point. But what flared inside him that wasn't being let out yet was the fact that Dean hadn't called when he found Donnie, he hadn't informed him that they should meet up and figure this out. He felt a little betrayed.

Donnie's power however made him lie down, the sensation of it flowing over his fur like a nice fall breeze but there wasn't one. Where Von was the moon, Luka was the sun and Ruby was the stars...each of their abilities felt different to him. Like electricity, caring, heat...Donnie's felt like water and wind, soothing and yet he knew it could be destructive if she wished it to be. Sam stared at her, watching her watching him. He was still angry but she was helping and he gave a slight nod to thank her. When he heard a footstep off to his right he snapped his head in that direction knowing it was Dean and he growled, barking to send the message that he was not happy with his brother right now.

Sam didn't mind Donnie now that he had found her and got to know her just by this small moment, but it was Dean that needed to be careful. Dean hadn't called, hadn't even bothered to check up on him once and yes that went both ways but Dean hadn't told him he had found Donnie. It was like what Lucifer had sort of told him, that secrets were being kept from him. He thought that it was just the angels after he had found out about the vessel situation but now he knew that it was pertaining to this. To his brother.

_How could you...how long have you been with Donnie and not told me? How long Dean? How long could Lucifer visiting me have been prevented? How long could have this..._

He felt another wave and he brought his attention to Donnie as she had scooted closer and carefully extended her hand to touch his head. Part of him wanted to bite her out of instinct but he allowed her to pet him. In fact it was just as soothing as when Von pet him but he still missed it when Von did it. It wasn't the same and Von would always be the one that could really and truly make him feel better with this action. With Donnie, it was just comfort at this point in time.

"I'm sorry Sammy."

The elder Winchester watched the wolf being tended to by Donnie. He could feel the anger that Sam was directing towards him as hot as an iron on his skin and he felt the weight of the guilt in his gut. There was that part of him that still thought he didn't have to explain his actions, but this was his brother he should have stayed with him no matter what. But how could he when every time he looked at him he thought about what he did with Alex and how he betrayed Von. Von died to stop him, to save him...if she had only known. Now another witch, another red head had come across their path reminding Dean so painfully of Von that it was sometimes hard to look at her despite what they had done that one night. She was so much like Alex as well and he knew he was one fucked up puppy for getting as close to her as he had.

_I must be a masochist_, Dean thought bitterly letting his gaze fall to the floor where one of Sam's clawed hands rested.

He became lost in thought of the many ways that Sam could kill him with those claws alone. A loud crash outside jarred him from his reverie and his hand immediately went for his gun, checking the safety and holding it in a ready to aim position. "Stay here," he ordered Donnie and looked to Sam anyway even though he knew the wolf wasn't going anywhere.

Leaving them he headed out towards the sound, skirting around the side of the barn and huddling his shoulders against the frigid winter air. The moon was veiled by thick cloud like someone had put a heavy shade over a light bulb, it was hardly enough light to go by, but Dean had hunted in the pitch black of night; it was enough.

Watching Dean go, Donnie brought her eyes to the werewolf named Sam. Dean had called him Sammy. She gave a little smile at how he was calmed and wasn't as harmful to her as she thought with her abilities helping and he apparently wasn't trying to eat her or anything. "So Sammy huh? Not a fan of the nickname? I have a nickname too...it's the Don Bon. And before you even blink twice, it was given to me to by Alex. And yes, she was my friend. I know she's dead," she said.

She didn't know why she was spewing this out, even if there was any sign of danger outside that Dean was checking out. Hell Donnie didn't even know Sam but she felt comfortable around him. Maybe it was the witch and werewolf thing, she didn't know. Stopping herself, she sighed. Donnie had been somewhat happy and things were unraveling, complicated and she had sex with her dead best friend's ex-boyfriend. Not even a month after the death and she figured that Dean was kind of feeling like trash or something and Donnie would be lying if she said she wasn't feeling it either. She just...had to think that maybe with someone like Dean, the way he had talked about her death, she hadn't thought about it, but there was something of that like he was betrayed. In the way they had sex spoke something as well.

Her heart clenched and she felt Sam nuzzle her hand and she blinked, looking at him. She smiled a bit. It wasn't anything major, just great sex, amazing and comforting and gentle sex. The best she had ever had. But they were friends or what could be close to that as they hadn't known each other long. So like a friends with benefits thing? Donnie sighed. When had her life become so complicated? When Dean showed up at her motel room? She didn't know.

Sam could tell something was bothering Donnie and though he was mad at Dean he sensed something was bothering him too. It wasn't too hard to figure out as the scent of sex was on them both which meant that it was probably that. Sam hadn't had sex with anyone and here Dean was and he had...but maybe he had his reasons. Sam had the fox to help dig him out of a hole though that fox was blocked off for a while now and now Dean had his own comfort and help and how could he blame him?

_I can't...not too much._

It still made him curious about Donnie. She was different and yet familiar. Kind and if anything Sam would have said on another situation if he weren't a werewolf and the deaths had never happened...that Donnie and Dean were perfect for each other. There was a chemistry in between them that was hard to miss by his eyes and nose. If it was going anywhere he didn't know. But in a weird pissed off way he was happy for his brother...he wasn't sure right now. Being calmed, petted and not confused he wasn't thinking too clearly especially with the moon.

888

Turning the corner there was nothing there to see but more flurries and soon a thin white haze appeared before his eyes every time he blinked from the snowflakes collecting in his eyelashes. Not bothering to wipe them away as only more would gain purchase he took several more feet stealthily into the dark being mindful of every footfall and dreading the one that would make a noise giving away his position. Nearing a stack of empty wooden crates and skids Dean swiveled in that position when he heard something rustling among them, the very something he assumed that made the loud crashing noise.

Seeing the iridescent green glint of a bestial eye narrow on him he was about to pull the trigger when a large and very pissed off orange tabby cat leapt out at him growling and spitting it's annoyance at the hunter at having been disturbed. Dean let out a heavy sigh lowering his gun and shaking his head, so it was just a Tom cat out here making a racket, making him think it was some terrible beasty out to eat all of them. Of course if he were dead the Tomcat wouldn't have any issue with eating his face. Still, Dean would make a full round of the outside of the farm before heading back inside to warm up just in case there was anything else aside from stray animals lurking about. If there were, Dean would be ready for it.

888

Inhaling, Donnie stood up, Sam understanding that she needed to stretch her legs. He was interested in what was taking his brother so long as well but seeing Donnie walk around and observe, beginning to hum. It reminded him of Von. How Von used to sing in the shower or when he had asked her to sing that one time when the four of them had played that stupid game of truth or dare many, many months back. Sam knew that she was a singer, she played gigs and he understood. She could carry a very beautiful tune and he wondered how she sounded when she sang lyrics. His ears detected her mouth whispering the words on the tune and he was laid his head down sighing in contentment at the sound.

"One of us is gonna be here and one of is gonna be running..." she sang softly and stopped at the window to look out.

_What was going on outside? Here I am with a werewolf in a farmstead and it seems very surreal._

Blinking she thought she saw something outside and she narrowed her eyes on it. Donnie came closer to the window and touched the glass. Tracing the outline of what she saw and it was then she realized she wanted Dean there...it wasn't necessarily anything out of the ordinary but there was a person there. Just standing there, just standing and staring. His eyes intent on her. She could tell it was a he but other than that it was hard to describe, one moment there and the next he was gone with a blink.

Turning around just as Dean came inside from checking the perimeter she wasn't about to tell him. Whatever or whoever it was, didn't seem to bother them now. Together they moved towards the werewolf and sat at a good distance. The moon was still high up which meant they had a few hours. A few hours to wait, and even a few hours to sit in silence and Donnie couldn't stop thinking up questions that Dean would never answer. Would Sam? What about the fact that she kept thinking about Dean...not just thinking but about what they were doing, what they have done? Each time she thought about that she got goose bumps.

_That night...it was just both of us needing comfort. But I still can't stop thinking about it. I guess the more I do in times when I need comfort it sort of helps me._

It bothered her though. How could she do that to Alex? What had Alex done? She knew that Alex had done something despite the fact that Dean hadn't said anything but she could tell. And just how Dean was looking at Sam now and then she could tell that there was something there as well...something that had happened between them. Maybe it involved Alex? Donnie didn't want to pry too much but she wanted to think good things about her friend. But how could she? Right now, with two men that were around her more than Donnie ever had been in Alex's life and they had been with her in the end. Been with her many, many months before she died.

_Maybe I'm not too guilty, but that doesn't make it right and I still feel bad. But I would be lying if I said I didn't want to do it again._

888

After several more minutes Dean returned to Sam and Donnie in the barn. He brought another flashlight and lantern to chase back the thick shadows that much better. Warmth was another matter, there was no electricity in the barn so that ruled out Dean bringing in the portable heater he stowed under the back seat and getting snuggly with his furry brother wasn't an option at least not for Dean. For all he knew Sam wouldn't think twice about eating him or using him as a chew toy.

"There's nothing out there but a pissed off cat," Dean reported and set the supplies down that he brought in, aside from the lantern and flashlight, he brought in a duffle of Sam's clothes and toiletries for when he changed back, if he decided to this time.

Dean always teased Sam about having more clothes than a girl, but in this line of work that quintessential favourite shirt was fated not to last over long. Clearing a space Dean started to set up what would be a fire, collecting bits of wood here and there and making sure they didn't have any nails in them or paint on them. Very soon thanks to Dean's skill in the area of starting fires a nice orange glow seeped into the cold air, warming it up and making the freezing chill outside more bearable to tolerate. Dean sat next to Donnie and across from them was Sam, the red in his fur highlighted by the flicker of the flamelight against him, it made the werewolf appear more unnatural than he already was.

The hunter went back to watching the flames lick and dance upwards at the air and sky or what would be the sky if there hadn't been a ceiling. Crackling wood filled the silence with it's archaic language that none none understood, it had been lost like so much else. Sam couldn't talk and Dean was lost in thought, he never bothered with small talk anyway, as for Donnie's silence Dean could only guess perhaps she was as lost in the labyrinth of her own mind as he was.

888

An hour passed and Sam watched in that time as Donnie's eyes had fought to stay open. Not succeeding in that hour as well as her body tipping over and laying in Dean's lap with her red hair fanned out. It made his heart clench up at the sight. She looked a lot like Von. Differences he had to see the differences but it still hurt his heart a bit. This was someone new to get used to; someone new with red hair and that was a witch. This was Donnie. His eyes stared at her form as she slept and he imagined a smile would be on his face if he weren't a werewolf right now. Flicking them up to his brother who was staring at the fire and going to bring his attention back to Donnie he sighed.

Dean's attention went to him and Sam met his orbs. Hostility gone and now just understanding. _You deserve to be happy again Dean. Even though it might feel wrong to after one month...you deserve to have a semblance of happiness. You deserve Donnie. I forgive you._

The silent message, it was something that they had mastered over many years of being siblings and growing up together. It was how it worked. Sam kept thinking though, what if Dean just keeps Donnie out? They were obviously friends with some sort of a beneficial factor attached to it for a one-time event. Dean liked Donnie but was it just because of Alex or the fact that she was a reminder that he didn't open himself a little more? Sam wasn't trying to analyze that. Donnie was keeping things too, just the way she carried herself but Dean was as well. Alex and Von wrapped into one, he could already tell that she was a heavy reminder.

_Either God has a sick sense of humor or we are the problem._

888

Donnie breathed, letting her chest rise and fall normally as she stared at the pond water in the park, her finger going back and forth creating ripples in the surface. Wearing a dandelion yellow dress, one braided shoulder strap and the bodice clung to her curves as the skirts flowed out like a flower ending just at her calves in ribbons. Beautiful flowers of different colors and species. Fish coming up to lap at the air with greedy mouths. A bee going from bud to bud to collect pollen while dragonflies and butterflies fluttered around the area. It was peaceful. A true peaceful sight and place to be. A place to dream about. She knew she was asleep, she had fallen asleep in that barn and now...

Feeling someone else there she looked around, trying to catch sight of the being. The scent of flowers came stronger this time than they should have been and she swore in the distance she heard what sounded like inhuman screams. "Hello?" she voiced, her long hair was up in a bun stuck with lilies and some strands that were out brushed her bare neck and shoulders.

Donnie snapped out of her calm in her dream and recognized the scent. She looked down at herself and wondered why she was here and dressed like she popped out of nature. Licking her lips and removing her finger from the water she went to stand up and found feet in front of her, dainty female feet. Bringing her head up slowly trailing up the frame of the woman she landed on the face and she stared as her heart beat in her chest like a bomb in a birdcage. Her instinct was to run but she was also frozen out of fear.

_Donnie St. Lewis_

The voice was a lyrical delight of a selection of the finest of songbirds and with it was all the melancholy and bitter sweetness of those notes, the perfect mingling of the sorrow of life and the victory of death. It enchanted and haunted the core of the soul and if her voice was capable of such an astonishing feat what dire effects could her presence induce? The woman with the songbird voice smiled at Donnie revealing to the red head more than a stunning smile but two sets of razor sharp fangs, subtle but noticeable to those who cared to look.

Her two upper canines were marginally longer than her lower and gave a seamless smile until her mouth opened to release a sigh like a soft summer breeze. But it was her eyes that were irrevocably mesmerizing, like pools of iridescent celestial light, two perfect globes that contained captured starlight. The wondrous mercurial blue hue bore deeply into Donnie's grey-green eyes, seeing all that she knew and all who she was.

_You know who I am through Dean do you not my dearest little fawn, I am in him as he is in me_. She placed her pale freckled hand upon Donnie's cheek unable to help but show that she did enjoy Donnie's fear but that was not why she was here. _I would have not suspected to chance upon such a beautiful face or such a rare being as yours, there are so very few pure blooded ones left_... The woman's eyes became distant as if she were harkening to some distant voice across the green of the landscape. When she came back to herself she blinked her eyes at Donnie a delicate frown upon her rosy lips. _That is why we share a connection you see, that was how I was able to reach out to you through Dean, you must help me my precious fawn._

Donnie stared at her and felt immediately all the love in the world that she could give to any being she so desired through that touch on her cheek. She blinked and held back. Licking her lips, this was the being that she had felt through Dean that night. This was...her. There were rumors of such a being and she was in front of it in a dream, just not in real life. They were connected because they were both _real_ witches not ones who prayed to demons for their abilities. But part of a bloodline. Hearing her compliment her in her head without moving her lips, Donnie could hear her own breathing as her orbs were connected with the woman.

"Help. How? Who are you? I've heard about you, through many others but I don't know your name. Forgive me, I don't mean to be rude or too frightened. I'm just cautious. Intrigued maybe."

She stood up before the woman and felt a twinge of fear with the teeth earlier but she was trying to look past that. Donnie moved her face out of the touch, her own hand rising to the spot where it had been and then towards her hair. In a place so beautiful and to put so much effort into the scene, into her appearance...her heart clenched. That night when she felt her, when she saw her eyes, she didn't know too much or want to over think but she was actually kind of thankful to her. She had given Donnie comfort in a dark time with Dean. She had given Dean that but she would be lying if she didn't feel some sort of sadness towards the woman. For she and Dean were both questioning that night. Donnie actually liked Dean and knew that because of certain things he would never let her in and maybe it was good to be friends.

_But his touch...his kiss...his body...like a warm shelter from a hurricane. Like home._

Now that she thought of it she tagged onto the questions she had asked, realizing how much she was a curious person it must get annoying to some but she yearned to help and learn. "If you don't mind me asking. Since you are a part of Dean and he is of you...whom do I remind him and his brother of? And is the answer the reason why I'm so shut off?"

The woman smiled down upon Donnie. _I have many names but I do not think it best to speak on the heartbreak of the brothers Winchester, it is for them to decide when to speak on the matter if they so choose. _

This woman was already very special to Dean and it was all the more reason for him to keep her at emotional arms length and she was very sure that the next time Donnie looked at herself in the mirror that maybe she would be able to see why it was that every time the brothers gazed upon Donnie their hearts wept.

_I only ask that you continue to do as your heart desires, to be with Dean as you wish and as he wishes. For all the hurt in his heart it is what he needs to stay strong, I know you can feel it, the cliff's edge he faces you can see it in his eyes. But he is strong; stronger than anyone yet knows as are you my sweet fawn._ The woman's eyes grew dark then and a cool breeze swept through the clear blue sky that chilled the skin to match her change of mood but she took Donnie's hand and her touch was still warm. _But stay away from the wolf, fawn, he is for me to deal with. Do not stray too close for though his heart aches greatly for his loss and will lure you like an unsuspecting moth to the flame there is a darkness in him that will poison you._

She nodded. "I like Dean. Sam is just...I don't know. I don't know him and I do sense that there is darkness in him. I'm sure I don't want that in my life." Seeing the woman before her, her eyes registered the red hair but never really thought anything of it as it wasn't as red as Donnie's was but still close. Donnie inhaled. "You said you needed my help...well more along the lines that I needed to help you. Why? It seems everyone needs my help nowadays and I can't seem to do so. Like I'm failing."

_I'm trying with Dean. Trying to help him and it is working. If working means that he is showering, eating and taking better care of himself but otherwise the helping on Alex and Von. That wasn't working. And why does she keep calling me a fawn?_

Staring at the woman's hand in hers and watching the other take out the lilies from her hair letting it cascade down her back and over her shoulders. Donnie could still faintly hear the screams but she could feel the breeze. Something was missing. She was missing a vital bit of information that no one was willing to give her and she had to find out for herself. While her mind was working it over, she was intent and listening to the woman as she spoke.

_If you give into the adversity you face then yes, you will fail_. The red haired woman stepped lightly past Donnie not a single blade of grass breaking beneath her feet to show that she had passed. The grass lapped like green waves against the wind and then the breeze settled to a soft whisper. _You know of what I speak, a great power is blocking you from seeing a way to the women the brothers Winchester have lost and that power is not altogether evil. Your eyes are open to many things Donnie but opening them too wide will swallow you whole, not all things are meant to be answered all at once and sometimes not at all._

The strange woman's dress which was nothing more than a simple sheet of sheer green cloth girded at the waist with delicate blue flowers twisted in the soft breeze as if of it's own accord giving more presence and power to the being that wore it. Donnie had been led onto a dangerous road, one that the woman needed her to be on for the moment but wished for her to leave as soon as possible. Within a blink she was facing Donnie again one of the flowers she had taken from the red head's hair in her hand. She brushed the petals gingerly with her fingertips eyes falling deep into the realm of thought and almost closing as they did so.

_You give Dean something to fight for, he is so very close to losing his way, perhaps if things were not as they were his brother would be able to help give him strength in this dark time...it is not meant to be. You must stay with him for as long as you desire and I pray that when that time comes I will have already found him to take the burden from you. _

Dean was very precious to her, as was Sam, but Sam needed to be dealt with through other means, he needed to be shown that treachery and the breaking of her heart into a thousand pieces would not be tolerated. And she would make him feel a thousand times over that aching pain even if it drove him mad.

_Do not interfere with the Hunter and the Wolf little fawn; do not come between them when claws and fists are drawn. The wolf is lethal and his heart is dead leaving him hungry to taste the loss of others, to taste sweet blood._

888

**Thursday, March 2009  
>6:14AM<strong>

She woke up to amber orbs right in her face. Barely a hairs breath away she scrambled back on her hands, falling fully as her arms collapsed beneath her and her ankle was grabbed, being dragged in the dirt towards the shaggy haired man that could only be Sam as the orbs were very familiar from the wolf she had seen last night. How did he get out? Donnie looked over at where she figured Dean would be and wondered what had gone on as Dean wasn't there but a loud banging was coming to her ears and muffled shouts.

Holding her hands up as she was underneath the hunter, her abilities lashed out at him and he flew away in the air and crash landed onto a pile of crates and abandoned feed. Donnie hurried to her feet, turning and running out of the barn, knowing that she should have gone to find Dean but she had to get away. The woman in her dream had said to not interfere, to not get in between brothers and she wasn't. Hearing a howl, her heart picked up and she ran through the trees nearby. Continuing until she stopped by a tree, climbing up it by setting each foot on a rock and a hold in the bark. Up two branches she ran her hand through her hair and stared around from above. Where was he? Was he following her?

_I thought he was calm!_

888

Sam grinned, chuckling as he shot up from where he had been flung. His head turned towards the cellar in the floor of the barn. While Dean had fallen asleep he had turned back, the calming sensation gone and even as Donnie had tried to place it back up in her sleep unconsciously he wouldn't heed to it. She was strong but not as strong as Von or Luka. Neither was she his mate so she held no complete sway over him. He had tried to go for her and his brother after changing back, Dean really underestimated his strength since the last time he had seen him. Sam was stronger now and the fox was gone which he missed but the taste of blood was something he found himself yearning for.

Accepting the wolf he was, he enjoyed the hunt. When Dean had woken up to find Sam out, Sam went behind him before he could do anything else and knocked him out. After finding a place to put him he went for Donnie. Finish what he started last night. A witch was in his presence and though she was a reminder of Von and Alex she smelled like food with her fear, her inexperience at the horrors of the supernatural being something supernatural herself. The hunt. Her fear. Sam inhaled and his pupils enlarged and fixed them back to their normal size when they were this color.

Growling and then giving a howl he moved onto the floor, his face rubbing along the door as he spoke. "When I'm done with her, I'm going to pay you some brotherly time Dean. After all it's been many weeks since we've last seen each other and so many things that you have neglected," Sam hummed, laughing as he then went after the red head.

Here he thought that Von in some sense was like red riding hood and him being the big bad wolf, but she wasn't scared of him, or well too scared of him. She would punish him and take control but not this witch. Donnie was definitely afraid, definitely the little red riding hood that Von would never be. His senses were on alert as he ran on human legs through the trees after her. Coming to a slow walk and sneaking up on where he saw her up in the trees she hadn't seen him yet. That was when he grinned, her eyes finally landing on Sam and he ran for the tree, only making it close to touching her foot before his claws sprang out and he slid down the trunk of the large mass.

"I've been a good boy for too long Donnie. I've held back afraid and behind a wall of pillows placed by Von and my brother. Now that Von is dead, now that Lucifer is after me I don't know...something just switched off," he spoke, jumping again and making her scream as she wrapped her arms around the trunk to stay where she was. "You can calm me all you want, no matter how much you are a witch like Von, look like Von, act like Von and yet still act like Alex at the same time. Maybe," he broke off to laugh heartily, his eyes slit as he did so, swiping a hand at her as he circled the tree. "This was a good thing. No matter how much I try to be the good brother, to get over Von and Alex's death and starting the apocalypse, you'd think I'd be taking it hard. I never had closure you know. Maybe killing you will be that closure. After all, in a way Dean was fucking my girlfriend through you, fucking Alex through you. I guess I deserve it being that I did almost the same thing to him."

Donnie stared down at him and realized that he was talking about what she had picked up on with Dean when she had sex with him that night. He was betrayed. His brother and her friend...And then he let slip an answer to her question. She reminded them of both of them and he explained the similarities. Lost in thinking it over, Sam punched the trunk sending a vibration through it and she fell, hands last minute grabbing at the branch and dangling from it.

Sam jumped and he brought Donnie down with him, landing underneath him as he perfectly rested on all fours and growled at her. Hunger in his eyes and he ran his tongue along his teeth. Before he got do anything more he felt electric shocks overtake his frame and he stared down at Donnie as she stared hard at his face, hands on his chest and the surge was coming from her. He fell on top of her, breathing heavily even as his body jerked to a still. This time when she stopped she couldn't get the werewolf off her. Donnie's ribcage had a lot of pressure on them and her breathing was labored.

"Dean," she croaked, looking around the area, needing someone there to help her.

_"The wolf is lethal and his heart is dead leaving him hungry to taste the loss of others, to taste sweet blood."_


	15. Chapter 15

He woke, to be dragged down into the cellar a swift fist landing in his face to knock him out only it didn't knock him out. It was as surprising to him considering Sam had the strength to punch someone's head clean off their shoulders and yet Dean's hadn't come off like a dandelion's. Sam was too fast for Dean's all too human reaction time, he couldn't predict how Sam would move which found him locked in the cellar to be played with later by the mad wolf. What had caused Sam to finally break, was it the weight of guilt, of Von's death on his hands that he could no longer bear as the gentle weeper?

By this point Dean didn't care, he needed a way out of this makeshift cage, he needed to get to Sam and stop him from hurting Donnie. His voice itched with the hoarseness of shouting too long in the cold air and he could only feel the roughness of the heavy wooden doors in front of him, the room too pitch to make out anything mere inches from his face.

"SAM!" he knew his voice wouldn't reach far, the thickness of the doors made his voice bounce back into his ears startling him with his own desperation and anger.

His fists banged and punched, bruising and knuckles splitting to weep quickly cooling blood down his sleeves and onto the frozen stair. Dean wanted the damn doors to open, he needed to stop Sam, he would find a way to get the doors to open, if he kept trying he would get them open. With all his might he tried, pushing and shoving, forcing them up by bracing his shoulders against them. They showed no sign of giving out every precious second that passed could have meant that Sam was taking another slice out of Donnie's frail body. Dean never doubted that she could defend herself, she certainly showed potential with her powers, and maybe she would be fine.

_An' maybe I need to get the fuck outta here an'...and what? Kill Sam, is that what I need to do now, after everything..._

Dean's body tensed, an adrenaline shock to his body, intense pressure at the base of his skull blossomed out to his temples and into his hazel-green eyes unbeknownst to him making them glow like the bright green of an aurora borealis. Jamming the heels of his knuckles into his temples he screamed and the rush of energy building inside of him exploded out in a violent gust that forced the wooden doors outwards and off their heavy metal hinges. The doors soared upwards crashing off in the distance as Dean stumbled up and out finding the power that came to him fading with every breath. It didn't leave him winded and he grabbed what weapons he could and raced off in the direction he hoped Sam had chased after Donnie in.

Finding Sam's tan and naked torso was easy against the white snow as were the swift tracks he left behind in the white powder. Donnie's body was underneath and that made Dean quicken his pace. "Donnie!" He grabbed Sam not caring if he hurt him and tore him off of the red head seeing that he was very much unconscious. "Are you alright?"

He took her and kneeling in front of her began to debate pulling her to her feet or allowing her to gain her breath first. He kept a gun in his hand just in case Sam unexpectedly roused from the movement and sound, he hated the very though of shooting his brother with something other than a tranquilizer, but he was losing his options. So he had his Colt 1911 with the mother of pearl grip and the silver bullets made special just for that gun and he also had the tranquilizer gun tucked in the waistband of his jeans for easy retrieval. His sights ticked to Sam and then to Donnie, locking back on Sam to watch him in case he so much as twitched with the signs of consciousness.

When she saw Dean she stood up so fast and her arms were wrapped around him she didn't register she had done it until after she had and was nodding to answer his question. Donnie pulled back and knew it was a bad move on hugging him. Now that she knew she haunted him. Von and Alex. Her eyes must have shown some form hurt and they landed on her hands, watering and she didn't understand.

_I'm a thorn in their hearts. Dean cares for me is what that woman said but...how can he when he'll be beating himself up or can't even look at me without seeing them?_

Raising her head she blinked fast a few times, licking her lips and swallowing on an inhale, turning away from him not wanting him to see that she knew. To see that it hurt her. The sex they had was influenced by that woman she knew that now, but did he do it because of something more than that too? That she reminded him of the two women he had had in his life? Donnie was being stupid probably but being her and the girl that no doubt annoyed everyone with her millions of questions...she kept to herself.

"I'm alright."

_Not really._

"What are we going to do about him?"

Dean hugged her back but let her go when she turned around to put her back to him, he knew she was hurting and wondered if something had given up the ghost and she knew why she was a thorn in his heart. He had to ignore that, right now he had to worry about what he was going to do with his brother. "The only place I know we can keep him is at a hunter's in South Dakota..." his voice trailed away to his own thoughts and he felt the weight of the gun in his hand as he stared down at the white blank space in front of his brother.

There was going to be a day where he would have to come to terms with what his brother was and how he was going to have to deal with it. It wasn't going to be today, today he was going to secure his brother's buck-naked body in the back of the Impala every way he knew how and then he was going to drive to Bobby's. Then what? Keep him drugged up on the stuff Von made until it runs out or Judgment Day brings the walls down around them? Dean needed someone else to bounce ideas off of that knew Sam as close to well as he did and that person was Bobby Singer. The elder Winchester couldn't think much beyond getting Sam locked up safe from others and others safe from him.

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**Bobby Singer's House  
>March 13th, 2009<br>1:30AM**

It had taken some time to get there, about 19 hours plus some rest stops so 19 1/2 hours. Dean had called Bobby when they were close to make sure to get outside to help them lug Sam in. After all it had been a chore with Donnie helping and Dean was strong but not that strong. Climbing out of the car they had all helped direct the unconscious frame of Sam through the house, down to the basement and into a room ready for another world war before closing the door and locking it.

The moment that was over Bobby turned to Donnie and nodded. She had heard about this man from the name she caught on the salvage yard sign and when Dean spoke on the phone. Alex had told her stories about Bobby Singer and she felt like she knew him the way she knew him. Introducing herself she was a little shocked to see a hint of recognition in his orbs. Had Alex told him about her? When? Or did he find out on his own from other people who had her name tossed about like beef jerky on a stick? Donnie listened to him talk to Dean downstairs as she moved upstairs. Silence had been between her and Dean on the car ride.

_Maybe I should leave. I know what that woman said but I don't appear to be helping Dean anymore. I thought I was but I'm just hurting him! And now Sam..._

She hadn't realized that she was crying a bit until she felt the tears drop off her chin and evaporate into the air from her anger at herself. How could she not see it? How could she just blindly pass on without understanding something was wrong with her? That Dean the moment he saw her, the moment he found her there was something off about how he stared. She hadn't known where she was going until she found herself upstairs in some broom closet or linen closet. Whatever closet, it was still a fucking closet she placed herself in. She needed to be alone. Would anyone realize she was gone? That was another thing she hated about herself and could see connections with Alex more and more. With Von, she didn't even know but she could see with Alex.

Alex liked to run away, she liked to think she was making it easier on people and that they wouldn't care if she left when really they did. Donnie had been on the end of that mess and hadn't spoken to Alex in a couple of years in person but a simple text or a call to see what was going on. They were still friends it was just...now she was thinking the same stuff that Alex had. What else made them almost alike? Donnie could think of several things, they both were hard headed but she wasn't as hard as Alex she preferred to let things go a lot of the time instead of pushing things. But everything else she could think of she knew that she was never the level that Alex was. She was different, she had her differences, she was herself.

_And what about Von? I have never met her yet Sam said that I looked like her and that I was a witch like her. What else am I compared to her?_

Donnie's legs were folded Indian style as her back curved over them, hands holding hands while she cried. She was Donnie St. Lewis. She thought she had always been but now to two people's eyes, maybe even Bobby's as he too couldn't stop and stare a bit at her pain lacing his orbs, she was two other people. Her heart hurt like she had been stabbed multiple times and was suffering from bad medication to heal it. What about Dean? She liked Dean as a friend and maybe as someone to fall into bed with kissing and touching. He made her feel better, like she had found someplace but that someplace was false. Was he really just sleeping with her out of recognition or to have sex with Von in some twisted way or to have sex with Alex? She could look back and remember everything from that night in full clarity and see that it wasn't that but how could she pass up that that wasn't what he was thinking or feeling?

_"You give Dean something to fight for, he is so very close to losing his way, perhaps if things were not as they were his brother would be able to help give him strength in this dark time...it is not meant to be. You must stay with him for as long as you desire and I pray that when that time comes I will have already found him to take the burden from you."_

Something to fight for. Donnie could see that but from what she found out, how did that make sense now? The part that the woman had said about Dean being a burden. Dean was in no way a burden and she didn't want to feel like she was passing him off to someone else when she would rather help him carry it for as long as he needed. He was not to be cast off. He was not to be shouldered onto someone else because that wasn't right. Donnie inhaled and stared at the closed door as silent tears slowly trickled down, they were starting to stop as the dead feeling washed over her body. That was how it worked, she would cry for a few good minutes and then fine. Well close to fine, more like an empty shell waiting to be filled with more emotions of being a human.

She nearly screamed when something nudged the door but she tensed instead. Hearing sniffing her eyes were saucers and she wondered if Sam broke out. There was no noise downstairs to indicate that so she tentatively reached for the knob and opened. The sight of a dog there, a normal sized dog made her sigh and she slumped against the wall in relief. Staring at the canine, Donnie knew it was watching her and its tail wagged for a moment of excitement before drooping. If anything Donnie almost started crying again. Pushing back the tears. "Let me guess...I remind you of someone too."

_Just perfect. Even more pain._

Standing up she walked out of the closet and shut the door, heading to the room on her left she opened it to find two beds, one of them the mattress was slightly destroyed and she wondered how that happened. Going into the bathroom that was in there she rested her hands on the counter to stare into the mirror at her face looked like she had been crying. Donnie heard the dog trail in after her and her attention went down to the dog. Almost as if she understood what Donnie was going through or something...smart dog. Really smart dog.

"Was...Von...your owner?" she asked, seeing a wag of the tail she took that as a yes. "I seem to be disappointing everyone when they see me it seems. I look like Von, I'm a witch like Von, I act like Alex and Von but I don't get it!" She heard the faucet turn on and turned her hands underneath the spray to collect the cold water and splashed on her face. "I've known Alex since she we were 19 and yeah she left me behind thinking it was for the good, but she is my best friend and to be compared to her by Dean, by Sam, by no doubt Bobby when he gets to know me more and by you if you get the chance as well, which might just be likely if Sam doesn't cool down."

_I'm talking to a dog...and it's listening to me like a person would. Again, smart dog._

"And Von, I've never met Von. I've heard of her and what am I? A full blood witch that sings on the side of traveling to help others for whatever they need and I'm thrust into this situation, this world of hunting that I try and avoid and I can't because they want me to help them with bringing the girls back. I don't know how! I'm trying to find a solution and really I don't think is one. I've gone through everything and there is no way that I can bring both of them back or anyone can. That spell that Dean showed me was good for one person. I know they are both mourning over both people and I want my friend back but maybe because I'm too much of a thorn, of a fucking parasite to their hearts that they should just bring back Von. Now that I know...I'm breaking inside. I like Dean, but if he can't even look at me without seeing them..."

Closing her eyes she turned the faucet off and moved into the bedroom to lay down on the bed that wasn't ruined. Feeling the dog come on the bed as well she raised her hand without thinking and began to pet the animal, feeling a collar on it she looked to see the name. Sorcha. Scratching Sorcha behind the ears she absently tried to get her mind off of things but it was hard.

"I'm asking advice from a dog, but what should I do?"

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Bobby turned his attention to Dean after the door was shut, silently keeping track of the red head as she ascended the stairs into his house. Hearing her footsteps on the familiar creaks of the floorboards as he began to speak. "Ya didn't give me much to go off of on the phone. Thought ya two split up and now ya back together again and with a woman that sure as hell looks a lot like...you know who."

"We did split up Bobby," Dean clarified gruffly as he leaned his bulk against one of the few bookshelves the elder hunter actually had, "We haven't seen each other or spoken in weeks, we both went looking for Donnie because we thought...we thought she'd be able to help us bring Alex and Von back." He watched Bobby shake his head and he tensed his shoulders knowing they were wrong for trying to bring the girls back but angry all the same at Bobby's reaction. "Sam came after Donnie. She could calm him just like Von used to, but I guess it wore off. He tried to kill her...then he was probably going to kill me after he knocked me around a bit." Dean was at a complete loss for what to do and the stress was digging pits into his nerves. Sam was a werewolf, Dean was just living in a dream where Sam was a good lil' pup and nothing was wrong with him, he would never bite the hand that fed him.

"Well let's see here before we jump to-" he stopped to clear his throat and glanced around the room. "Sam was drinkin' demon blood right? Well maybe this is just withdrawal. If it goes beyond that we might have to take some more measures. Sam wouldn't think about killin' you or anyone else. He's been fightin' him being a werewolf for so long already that he was bound to snap. Didn't think it'd be now..."

_Or ever._

Bobby moved over to his desk and sat down. "The only thing we can do...is feed him. Wait till he's out of wantin' different blood than that on the meat we give him."

"We both know demon blood isn't like any other blood Bobby, you can't just swap out one for another, I think it's as much a matter of wanting it as needing it like any kind of drug..." Dean agreed with Bobby on it being withdrawal and Dean hoped that was all it was but he had a nagging feeling that Sam had finally become one with his beast. It was a matter of time with what he was; no one could deny their true nature, not forever. "So we give him what he needs, lots of raw meat and cross our fingers that he doesn't try and chomp one of us after he cleans up?"

The elder sighed and removed his hat, staring wearily at it in his hands. "S'all we can do...If only we had..." He couldn't say anything more as he swallowed. He couldn't say if only they still had someone around to help Sam through it knowing what it was like to go through being a Loup Garou but he couldn't say either if they only had Von there to help push it all down. Bobby blinked a few times. "Although, we do still have that amulet don't we? That Cas gave to ya months ago for his anger? Would that help?"

Dean looked up from his thoughts, he had almost forgotten about the amulet with everything that had been going on. Without a word he grabbed his coat and headed outside to Von's '72 Nova, Bobby had parked it under the overhanging garage to keep the snow off of it like he had with Alex's Camaro and Dean kept both the girls' car keys with his own. He eyed the Nova with a bit more sadness regarded to the car itself remembering how Trent had to break the trunk open with his Were strength because the metal had fused together from White Sulphur Springs, Montana going up in an inferno. It was held down with some multicolored bungee cords now and the sight had Dean entertaining the idea that maybe he would fix it one day but for what purpose it wasn't as if Von would be driving it ever again.

Letting go of a weary sigh that made his breath plume out in warm vapor, the nights and early mornings were still freezing cold but there were signs everywhere that winter was slowly and begrudgingly beginning to leave and make way for spring. Dean turned on one of the overhead work lamps starting his search for the amulet in the trunk where most of Von's supplies were stored. It was like opening up some macabre tickle trunk, Dean was on a mission and didn't have time to poke and tinker at the wonderful and often scary paraphernalia that Von had procured over the years. The sooner he could put the amulet on Sam the better finding the intricate metal box was a relief and when he opened it to find the amulet neatly tucked inside he secured the trunk back down and hurried back to the house.

Dean peeked through the small grate into the panic room, Sam was still out but who was to say how long that would last or if he would wake the moment Dean entered the room. They had put up the same securities over the walls and door but it was mediocre compared to what Von could accomplish. In any case it would do for now and Dean took the extra precaution of loading up the tranquilizer gun and taking a syringe of Von's special werewolf calming brew before he entered into the chamber. Sam was still naked, it was too much a problem to dress him and what would be the point if he ripped all his clothes off or decided to wolf out, instead they covered him with a blanket and left him to do what he wanted in his sleep.

As careful and silent as Dean could force himself to be he closed in on Sam and kneeling down carefully injected the syringe into his neck. Dean's own heart raced when Sam answered with a growl like moan but was relieved when he didn't wake, with the sedative in his system Dean lifted Sam's head and strung the chain around Sam's neck. Resting his head back down Dean pulled the blanket over Sam's bare shoulder tugged between knowing he should leave and wanting to stay to make sure his brother was going to be okay.

Sam woke up to the feeling that someone was in the room with him. Hearing breathing, he opened his eyes and swallowed. The smell of blood in veins, the smell of fear or hurt, even just the sound of hearts and others breathing. His eyes landed on his brother where he lay and he stared hard. "Dean..." he ground out, the tone sounding confused and yet angry.

The anger was quickly quelled as he was about to start yelling at his brother or going for a fight but he blinked. Glancing down as he brought his head up he found the amulet on his chest nestled like some taunting child. He knew that he couldn't get the thing off by himself, it wouldn't work with all the force in the world, it had to be taken off of him by someone else. Sam slowly turned over watching Dean begin to back towards the entrance and the tall hunter stalked after, getting to the door and finding resistance. He couldn't step over.

Growling and barking at Dean, Sam pounded his fists against the metal of the walls on either side of the open door to the room that was all too familiar. The anger this time wasn't quelling as fast, it was going to take some time but the hunger was still there. He laughed. "Think this will hold me? Are you going to shack up with little red riding hood you have upstairs? Just like you would have loved to do with Von!" he shouted the last part out before his eyes turned murderous, the amber rolling in. "Or are you going to hurt her the more you are with her? She must be a good fuck if you already have feelings for her. I can see it. Smell it. You didn't tell me that you found her! You didn't tell me that she looked like Von! Let me guess she couldn't even help either? So you had to go and fuck her!"

He backed away snarling as he went to the middle of the room to look up into the fan above. Tilting his head he listened. Sam could hear Donnie, talking to Sorcha, he could hear her wanting answers and he yearned to chase her, to make her scream and he knew that that shouldn't be right. That he shouldn't want to do that. Ever since Lucifer came to visit him he has been on edge, more the animal than ever, thirsty for more blood than he ever imagined and the fox still hadn't come.

"While I was in a motel room waiting for your call, while I was in a motel room and Lucifer visited me! Now LOOK at me!" he howled and came out of it in a laugh. "I can't calm down. I can't get the hunt out of my system. All I want to do is rip into your flesh, rip into anything I can get my hands on and drink, eat, fuck whatever I can. Tell me, do you think that could have been avoided if we hadn't decided it was best to fucking split up Dean? I would like to think so! I feel like I've gone mental in my head, shakes when I'm hungry, when I'm just thinking all alone in my motel rooms I have been staying in. I've even thought of suicide you know? The moment that I realized that I was different, that I wasn't holding back, I considered it. But I didn't have the strength or mentality. Maybe you or Bobby will. I guess it's just my medicine served back at me huh? I lose a brother, I lose the girl I loved, the girl that my brother loved that I wound up screwing...felt bad about that too...you know that though..."

A beat.

"If I had the chance, I keep saying that I would go back and change it. Now that I'm like this, I don't think I would. I'm a werewolf Dean. A monster. I've always been a monster. This has only made it more evident. And then the last thing, two things that get thrown into my face, is that my brother can't even trust me anymore or want to talk to me anymore, and that he fucked a girl, a witch that is like a replica of my mate."

Sam was angry, very angry but now the amulet was soaking it up a bit, taking its time and he was suddenly running, suddenly no longer far away but right at the door, unable to cross over the threshold as he stared hard into Dean's green orbs.

"If I get out of here...if Donnie so much as comes down here or into this room...you better pray that you killed me when I was infected. You better pray that you killed me when I killed Von and Alex. You better pray...that you killed me when you found out everything you did about me."

He could smell the rancid blood on his brother's breath; the problem was he couldn't tell if it was animal or otherwise, if he had eaten a blue steak, someone's dog or a human. Normally he would flinch against such a stench but not this time, this time he stared into the beast's eyes as it stared back and for the life of him Dean could see no trace of his beloved Sammy. Had the wolf finally eaten his brother alive, had Sam finally succumbed to what all Loup-Garou's were, clever hunters that really wore their old human skins as a disguise among the sheep?

Dean had all the reasons in the world not to tell Sam that he had found Donnie, now this was added to them. The sole fact that she resembled Von was enough to keep her far away from Sam for both their sakes. So much for that plan. "This isn't you Sam, it's the demon blood talking and yeah I know all about that, hell I probably know more than what's better for me now." Dean looked away only to shake his head and lock eyes with his brother again. "You're not getting out Sam, not until you're clean, then we'll talk."

What Sam had said cut deep but he had no right to judge Dean not after all that he had done, everything Dean has seen, heard and discovered. Sam was like any drug addict but Dean didn't know how long it would take for the demon blood to leave his system or if his lycanthropy would have an impact on his recovery.

"Demon blood? You think it was just any demon's blood? You know...Alex and I hid it well. Right after that incident with Zachariah putting us into a different world where we were normal. I drank from Alex and you didn't know at all. I drank from her, from Ruby and at least two other demons that night when they died. Do you honestly believe that it's _just_ the demon blood Dean?" Sam released another laugh, this time escalating and his eyes shone with his white teeth. If any author thought they had the Big Bad Wolf pegged down, they had no idea. Sam in that moment was everything that the Grimm Brother's would never imagine. "Don't you think I'd be craving demon blood right now?" Sam could hear Donnie again and he groaned, rolling his neck and then meeting Dean's eyes. "Little red riding hood...her heart is bleeding out and you can't hear it," he taunted playfully. "I'm a wolf Dean. I'm a werewolf. I was afraid this would happen."

_Why am I saying this? Why am I doing this?_

Sam was all too wolf right now, it was like he shoved his Sam Winchester, normal Sam into a box in the corner of his mind, because there was no way he would ever push his brother to levels like this. Would never say things like this. "Do you want to know what happened between Alex and I? Never told me she was good. Good at blow jobs, good at teasing and those gasps she made whenever you did something right or those keens. Skin that wasn't overly tan but natural and assets that would drive any crazy especially her blood. And seeing Alex with another woman...Ruby...it was interesting. Now tell me Dean, how is Donnie? I would have tried for her myself if the bitch didn't electrocute me."

Another laugh and this time his head was thrown back, his eyes slit slightly as he still had them on his brother. Sam was hurting inside in that small corner, he would never do anything like this, never say anything like this but because he had accepted his wolf since Von died more than he ever thought he would or could be able to. It was like ambrosia to drown in. So different. New. Intoxicating that it was clouding his judgment.

"If you want me clean Dean, you might have to bring Donnie down here," he said, saying her name and the last part of it like it was some kind of joke when really he was serious, "to do it. You can't stop a witch going to a werewolf Dean, just like you can't stop a werewolf going to a witch."

"We'll see about that," Dean replied. Donnie had done well enough to away from werewolves every time one showed up in the area. If they could keep Sam from getting out there shouldn't be a problem, if it became one Donnie was going to have to leave. "You got a lot of nerve, callin' me out on the things I've done. You were the one to cheat on your_ mate_, you would have broken her heart and she would have died from it if she wasn't already because of you. But let me tell you somethin' if we do find a way to bring her back, bring both of them back, tellin' her what you did is the first thing on my list, that's if she doesn't know already."

_And if Von is still Von and not something else..._

So Donnie looked like Von, so what? That may have been one of the lowest base reasons from a time Von wasn't with Sam but there was more to it, things that Dean would never be able to explain to Sam. Things to do with Astarte. Sam would never be able to relate without meeting the Goddess face to face. She hadn't forced anything upon Dean or Donnie, it was more gentle guidance, a _'yes, you have a connection, now explore it'_ and She quietly allowed to take place what took place. What was going to complicate everything was that Dean didn't leave with anything less than fond memories, he took Donnie with him because he still wanted to think that she could help, when really there was no help to be had.

And Sam? Sam complicated everything whether by his words or his actions. Dean didn't know what to do with him, keep him locked up until he stopped trying to kill people? How long would it take for that to work and how long would it be until one of them fucked up and Sam got out and killed someone? Maybe Dean was just trying to delay a long train comin', maybe his militant revenge driven father was right, he would have to kill Sam.

_Why couldn't the obsessed bastard do it himself instead of dropping all this shit on me_? Dean thought vehemently.

"I know you still love Von so why are you doing this to yourself Sammy, she would never want this for you." Dean couldn't hide the pain in his voice. Seeing his young brother this way, it was then he began to convince himself that Von should be the one that was brought back. The witch was the only one who could help, she was powerful enough to calm him and soothe the savage beast. She also wasn't terrified of him like Donnie was; she was one of the few that were scared for him instead of him.

Sam lapsed in that moment, staring at Dean as he spoke about Von, jaw tightening and his arms trembled as he gripped the sides of the walls that went to the opening where Dean was. "Doing this to myself?"

_Can't you see I can't control it?_

"Ever since Lucifer came to visit me...even just a few days before that-" he broke off, the more his body grew tighter with rage. "I didn't tell you but a part of Von visits me...just a very small part that Moriarty gave me. A fox. I haven't seen her since and I know Lucifer shut her out so she can't block what is going on with the hunger pains, the need to push back what I really am now...the withdrawal of course is making it worse..." The amulet was burning into his skin and he growled, one hand flying to it to rip it off but no matter how much he pulled it wouldn't remove itself as it was trying to take away his anger and more, that was why it was burning, he was fighting it. "So you see, it's not me doing this to myself. I can't...FUCK! I can't stop it."

He laughed at that, releasing the amulet and his trembling ceased. Upstairs Donnie had stopped talking and he could hear the words and the rhythm of her voice singing. It reminded him of Von. That flared up the anger again and he jumped at the invisible wall holding him back, eyes molten amber as he bared his teeth, clawing at it.

"I'm going to kill her and I'm going to fuck her while I do it. That bitch needs to know the right way how to get plugged when acting and looking like Von. She doesn't deserve to be here when Von isn't!" Sam growled angrier even as the amulet burned him to try and quell the anger. Watching the door close he continued to act in a violent manner, he wanted to get out. He needed to get out.


	16. Chapter 16

**Warning: FULL story Rated M for language, sex and violence.**

"You say your time has come, you're tired of wakin' up. Don't be obscene, I can't conceive of livin' without you," Donnie sang as she pet Sorcha, closing her eyes she tended to sing when life was kind of down or when she needed to escape, in fact she had remembered that right now she should probably call to cancel that set she planned to play but decided against it. "You say you drag me down, no one should want you now. I start to cry, you kiss my eyes and say I'm not allowed to...Burning Beacon in the night, can't feel its heat or see its light. That single solitary guide, it must get lonely there sometimes..."

She had heard the sounds coming from the vents and still had sung through it. Donnie had been into the song that she had written while being with Dean...if anything no one would know but her that the song was written about Dean, that she didn't realize that someone was standing in the doorway of the bedroom watching her. When Sorcha perked up she fluttered her eyes open when the dog jumped off the bed and she sighed.

"Don't tell me that reminds you of Von too," she said, swinging her legs over and in the process of doing so she spotted Dean standing there and she stared at him in slight horror.

_Rock in stomach. He heard me sing. Normally I wouldn't care, but I don't know, I care if_ Dean _hears me. And he heard me say that out loud the comment to Sorcha..._

Her instinct was the run but she tried to play it coolly and she wiped off the expression from her face and continued to stand. "Dean."

_That's all I can say? He must have come up here for something and it wasn't because he wanted to hang out with me. He can't...not without reminding of them._

"Something wrong?"

Dean swallowed, his throat suddenly tight and dry at the anxiety and guilt of what he would say next. He had no right to ask this of her, to put her life in danger for people she hardly knew. "I need you to bring Von back." He put it out there as simply as he could fearing that she would reject helping him and leave. "I know I have no right to choose and this isn't fair to Alex but Von...she's the only one that can keep Sam under control bring him back to who he really is, I can't, I can't kill him Donnie, he's my brother," Dean's voice thickened up at the last and he cleared his throat roughly. Staying in the doorway he wanted to give Donnie space to think and not close in on her and demand that she help. Dean couldn't kill Sam not when he knew his brother was still in there somewhere, it was the demon blood doing this to him, it was Lucifer egging him on.

_What about the fox, Sam mentioned something about a fox Moriarty gave him_.

As important as the fox may have been it hardly seemed as such now. Getting Von back was now top priority, for Sam's sake and everyone's safety. "Von can help him, otherwise he's going to find a way to hurt you and kill all of us an' with the way he is now he won't do it quick either. He'll want to make it slow and enjoy it, I wish you didn't have to see him like this Donnie..."

_Everyone wants him to think he's evil but he's not, he's not._

She stared at Dean. Donnie wanted Alex back, but she had been thinking since she met Sam. Alex, no matter how good of a friend, Dean was right. Sam needed Von. Donnie moved up to Dean and she stared into his orbs, wanting to take the final step to wrap her arms around him at how she heard and saw how hurt he was about his brother. She wanted Alex back, but she could find another way, she could and she would. Though there probably wasn't one, but she would try. This was important.

_I might have to leave when it's done...but I don't want to. I am only thinking that I should leave because it still might hurt Dean if I were around for his eyes to fall upon. But who else would help him while Von was taking care of Sam? I have to stay..._

"I'll do it Dean, you don't need to ask. I'll do it. I'll need that recipe and maybe something of Von's so then I can draw the energy from it to kind of get a sense of her while I bring her back. There are some things you should know though; you will let me handle this spell. It requires for me to recite it as well as...drink the blood of the angel...I can't let you do it because I'm afraid with you being human more than me, the side affects could be greater. I'd rather take the chance on my own system," she answered.

Shaking his head Dean opened his mouth to protest with a barrage of arguments piling up in his thoughts. He had seen what demon blood had done to Sam, what would a hearty dose of angel blood do to Donnie. But this was the way it had to be now, there was no other choice, every decision would have its measure of risk. War was coming, thick and heavy on the horizon and each day it was getting more and more difficult to take it one step at a time when any step could get them dead.

"Alright," Dean nodded once and stepped into the room absently petting Sorcha on the head. "Von's car is out back, there's probably something in there we can take with us for the spell", he stopped petting Sorcha and turned around to leave Donnie to prepare, "I'll tell Bobby that we're leavin'."

Dean turned down the hall and was gone, each step was heavy with the decision he had just made, nothing would get better but maybe if Von was back she would know a way to bring Alex back. The elder Winchester also decided to tell his younger sibling the news, maybe that would get through to Sam and stop his downward spiral. Unable to find Bobby in the house Dean traveled downstairs confronted with the large salted iron door he stood in front of it for a minute before deciding to open it. The ward was still firmly in place and the sight of Sam made his stomach twist but he pushed it down while his eyes focused on the rivulets of blood that were streaming down Sam's naked back.

He was fighting with the amulet and had been since Dean left him alone from the looks of it, he heard him snarl and grunt in frustration and his eyes glowed and flashed molten amber in the light of the room. Lifting his gaze to those eyes he kept them there, Dean didn't need to have the image of Sam's naked body seared into his brain yet again. "We're bringing Von back, wanted to let you know before we headed out to the convent in Ilchester." Dean hoped that would snap Sam out of his primal state. This was the right decision, Von could help them...the pit in Dean's gut however never left since the moment he first thought of going through with resurrecting her.

Sam stopped with the amulet and glared at Dean. Why was he glaring when they were bringing Von back? He moved towards his brother and bared his teeth as he growled. "Can't babysit me by your lonesome sorry ass self so you finally found an excuse to bring one of them back? FUCK YOU!" he shouted. "Give you more excuses to drink and push away from me, push away from Donnie...Bobby..."

Hearing someone come down the stairs he saw the spot of red hair and his heart hoped for Von but knew it was just Donnie. That was when he unconsciously began to grin and get horny, needing to rub against her and make her scream. Donnie knew she had seen something in the basement that could be useful but she didn't want to go down there. Yet she knew she had to. Coming down was a mistake and as she took the thing she was looking for she moved over to Dean and stood beside him. Her eyes stared at Sam and she tried not to show fear. It was his eyes, his grin that unsettled her, it was nothing but wolf in there, no sign of humanity and when his hand directed her attention lower she accidentally followed and found him in full. He was getting off on her fear, he was getting off on her and it made her sick and nervous.

A bark and a laugh escaped him making her jump and hit her body into Dean's which she immediately turned away from him flustered, nervous, scared, apologetic and she hurried up the stairs, nearly stumbling but catching herself on the railing before she made it to her duffel on the kitchen table. Not knowing Bobby too well, she didn't hear him come from the bathroom behind her until he came around her and offered her a beer. Normally Donnie preferred whiskey but this would do. Taking it she chugged it down until it was all gone and tossed it into the trashcan. "Ya okay?"

"Not really but I'll live."

888

His orbs had followed Donnie up the stairs before he slowly trailed them to his brother with the grin still plastered on his face. "That was fun. For a minute I thought she was going to scream bloody murder."

It wasn't the happy lost puppy reaction he was hoping for, but he had caught the glimmer in Sam's eyes when Donnie came down the stairs, the want and need for it to be Von and the disappointment and anger when it wasn't. Dean watched Donnie go and turned back to face his brother, his own fists clenching temper almost getting the better of him and he was a breath away from reaching over the ward and slamming his fist into Sam's face. The will it took to hold back was more than he thought he had but he managed. "When Von gets back she's going to wipe that smile off your face." There was a cold edge of smugness to his voice like he knew something that Sam didn't and Dean didn't know where that confidence was coming from. Hell wasn't an empowering place and they would be lucky if Von didn't come back a quivering mess of violent nerves that had to be locked away in a padded room the rest of her life.

He wasn't an idiot. He could tell what Dean wanted to do to him and it made him grin wider, even at his words about Von. The confidence there didn't phase him. If it ever came down to Dean and Sam, Sam knew he would win based on simple strengths. Dean could never kill his brother...Sam didn't think he could either but he'd win the fight even if it put Dean into a coma, into a hospital. That wasn't right though. He shouldn't be thinking that way and it was pushed down as he remained grinning.

"I've come to terms Dean that with how long Von has already been down in Hell...she won't be the same, which means this grin will be staying on my face. You don't deserve her you know? I wasn't the only one responsible for her death, neither was I the only one responsible for the Apocalypse. We all know you could have stopped it, prevented it by killing me a long time ago. When Dad told you to. I guess we've both seen the man he thought I'd become. The animal. The monster. Maybe it's time I didn't fight it, maybe that is what Lucifer meant when he encouraged the beast by blocking that fox, by in a way finding the right time when we were separated to work his feelers into me. This isn't just my fault Dean, it's also yours. And Donnie will pay for that, so will Bobby and so will you. She's scared and has every right to be. What happens when Von is back? I'm not a fool to not see that she does like you and you like her. But because you are Dean Winchester you will push her away let her break like you sort of did to Alex."

Sam growled and turned away, his hand going to his erection at the thought of Donnie, at the mention of her as well as Von and Alex. He'd never been so horny with no real reason to be in his entire life as he began to slide his hand up and down the shaft. His body hunching slightly and he groaned. Chuckling when he heard his brother's distaste. Normally he would be uncomfortable, but animals didn't care, they didn't feel the need to cover up and nor did they care if someone was watching them jerk off or have sex. The sound of the door shutting didn't faze him, he was focused on the movement, the actions and his breathing that was heavy and twisted with grunts.

888

Donnie heard Dean come up the stairs as she was on her second beer and still no buzz, but the burning helped a tad. Not enough burn like whiskey but it would do for now. She didn't want to get drunk; they had to hit the road. They had to travel a good distance while Bobby watched over Sam. She had informed Bobby in case Dean hadn't told him and the elder wasn't approving of it and actually commented on the factor of 'what about Alex?'. It made her feel guilty but he understood the reasoning on getting Von back sooner. She was needed where Alex wasn't right now, both of the girls back would just make their lives happier, at ease, a little bit better...

She shouldered her duffel and tossed the beer into the trashcan when it was empty. "Ready to go?"

_Alone again on the road. God, I need to write a song. Maybe that will get all these emotions out of me...how would it go? Something like..._

Seeing Bobby and Dean talk a little about what time they would roughly take to get there, and calling if anything happened and as well as to update the elder on the situation before saying goodbye. She was lost a little bit in her thoughts as Dean moved past to get his duffel he placed at the top of the stairs. Not really even making it into a bedroom she moved out the door and to the Impala to load her stuff. Climbing into the passenger seat she pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. Things flashed in her mind in that moment, that of willpower, tired of being in one place for so long and wanting to embark past that and the sense that help was on the way made her brows furrow.

The feelings and things that came to her reminded her of flowers and she wondered...was that the woman that she saw in her dream that was thinking those things? Feeling those things? Why? Donnie wasn't going to think on it but she suddenly had the sensation that at that convent they were needed, they were being waited on and that she had to, no, wanted to help the calling for help. Help? Was it necessarily help? More like assistance. She looked at the piece of paper and began to write, humming as she did. Lost in her world. Even as she concentrated she found that the words came out but would stop as she drew instead. The drawings were unusual as Donnie did not draw and as far as she got with drawing as stick figures.

It was the woman that she had seen in that dream by that pond. With detail and something that was close to caring she was focused on it forgetting about the lyrics entirely as the drawing took its place. Donnie kept going and she hadn't even noticed Dean enter the car, start it and drive off. They had made it to the interstate and she hadn't realized that. When she finished she stared at it, the shading, the structure. It was perfect and that scared her. Donnie didn't draw and nothing she ever drew could be called perfect.

_What is coming over me?_

Setting it down on the seat, feeling it needed to be taken away from her for a bit as she looked out the window. It was going to be a long drive and it was hard because while Dean was going through things inside, she wasn't so good either. Now that she was around him more and knew things...she couldn't stop her heart from throbbing like it was fighting to get out of a straight jacket. Dean was being pulled, guided, he already knew where to go but it was like once he was there he would know exactly which stone to turn to find Von. It couldn't be explained; there was simply a deep sense of knowing.

_It's like I can hear her whispering in my head, how is she doing that?_

Sam's words were mingled there as well, the hurtful things he said and how he acted like he didn't care about Von coming back or that she would be greatly damaged when she returned. Dean knew he cared, somewhere buried deep he cared a great deal but his animal hunger was inescapable and consumed him. Even as they neared the convent and Dean became more certain that what they were going to bring back would be more than Von, it would be greater, powerful and darker than most people would be able to understand. Dean understood and he had the sudden understanding that Donnie was beginning to as well.

Catching a glimpse of the drawing she had set aside Dean's foot landed on the brake abruptly and the Impala came to a screeching halt. The hunter stared bewildered at the detailed portrait and he had difficulty pulling his eyes from it to look at Donnie questioningly, at first he suspected that she had seen a photo of Von somewhere but that didn't explain what compelled her to draw the red head or the subtle differences in Von's features that made her appear otherworldly.

"Why did you draw that?" the question demanded an answer. Dean sat shocked with both hands gripping the steering wheel like the seat and floor would fall out from under him and he would be sucked into some wormhole.

She had braced herself when she thought she didn't have enough time to catch herself fully when Dean braked out of nowhere. Her attention went to him, "Are you trying to kill us?" she exclaimed, the sudden anger like something she would expect from Alex but she knew that she had this anger inside her just a little bit. "I mean what the fuck were you thinking just braking like that?" Finally catching her breath, she realized he had asked her a question and she immediately apologized for yelling at him and she stared down at it. "I don't know why I drew it. I was just trying to write a song and I can't draw. Stick figures is as good as it gets...I...I saw her in my dream before we had to come here with Sam. First time I've ever met her. I can't necessarily shrug it off as _just_ a dream because it was too real. And..."

_Why am I explaining myself to him?_

Donnie shut up and took the notebook in her arms and closed the cover over it, she placed it into the backseat and folded her arms. Conflicting. She had never felt like two people were crammed into her until now. The closer they got the more she felt like she was experiencing two people's strong emotions and there was no way that Donnie was empathic either which didn't make sense. She had a connection to the woman in her dream...or the drawing...both...but that was because they were both blood witches. Was this woman really crawling inside her or was there something greater at work that was out of her experience.

Something bubbled inside and she couldn't take it. "Why do you have to compare me to them? I'm...I'm nothing like them! I hate that you compare me to my friend and to a woman that I don't even know! I'm just Donnie. Donnie St. Lewis and fuck! I can't take all this inside! The more I get into this the more that things awaken and now I'm feeling anger and I'm feeling like there is no room for me in my own body for fuck sake!" Donnie was nearly hyperventilating, she hadn't realized that outside the sky had grown dark until rain was spattering on the car, thunder sounding and lighting striking places around them. She didn't have it stop but she calmed down her emotions. "The closer we get the stronger the power is becoming...you won't feel it because you aren't a witch. You aren't like me but I can feel it and it's taking over my emotions. But doesn't mean that what I'm saying isn't true. I don't have the guts to say it out loud like I did just now."

_Can we please move on and get this done with?_

"Wait...why are you concerned about what I drew?"

_Bouncing back and forth too much aren't I? I'm not bi-polar yet I seem like it. But I explained that to him just now. Damn it fuck._

What was he going to say, that what Donnie had drawn was Von and yet wasn't, that he had been keeping something from her as well as his own brother? That was only partially true, he was sure he told Sam partially about Astarte, but it was a topic he couldn't go on about for long without bordering on the too much information fence. He couldn't talk about her, he couldn't tell anyone. Shaking his head Dean stared out straight ahead at the storm rolling in around them and with a deep breath he let it out, "That's Von, for the most part."

Dean couldn't empathize with Donnie but that didn't mean he wasn't affecting by the changes as they drew closer to their destination. He could feel her will weighing upon him and whatever was around them including the weather and he was sorry for not telling Donnie and he was sorry for making her mad and getting her involved. Pulling back out onto the road Dean feared they were running out of time, something was weighing in the balance on the edge of those storm clouds.

"I'm sorry Donnie, for everything I really am. I never meant to compare you to anyone and I'm sorry for dragging you into this, I should be doing this not you."

Putting her head in her hands she shook her head and then let them fall as she turned to look at Dean in the car. "No. I chose to do this, I asked you to stay that night, I said I could help and I believe in some way I still can. _You_didn't choose this. I can't blame you entirely for comparing me but I want to ask you that from now on you look at me like Donnie. The girl that you've grown to know in such short time and hell even had great sex with that I can't stop thinking about. Look at me like a different witch who isn't the one you know and the other woman that we aren't saving today but we will save soon. Look at me like the Donnie St. Lewis I am that takes things head on and even though I feel like I've made a mistake and wonder why I'm here, I still stick with it."

_I should really have gotten a better grade in Debate or Speech class when I was in school...I'm pretty good at them when I do them nowadays._

Donnie turned away and looked determined in front of them as they continued to drive. "I chose this. It should be me who does this, not you. If you feel it, you'll know that I'm right. Not because I say so but because something out there needs it to be this way. And as for the picture being Von...I hate to say it but I don't think that was Von...or it was but I...I've heard stories of that power that felt like that and it was like flowers...like when we were in that motel room together. It felt different than any other witch or human being. You know her don't you? She said in my dream that you two were connected. I'm assuming your brother doesn't know who she is. He knows Von but he doesn't know the other woman that is in a way her...I pick up on these things."

Dean nodded, he never meant to compare Donnie to anyone or anything and yet he had and he was sorry for that. So he would do his best to not think of her as some cruel joke thrown in his face and he would do his best not to dwell too hard on Sam's words. "He knows of her, but he doesn't know her. Vague details at best, I never mentioned much about her to Sam, he would try to understand when really there was no way for him to know what it was like. I didn't see the point in telling him he already has enough to deal with and with how he is now he would only use it against me."

Dean let out a weary sigh; eyes darkened with emotional fatigue stared out straight ahead at the road being washed with the downpour of icy rain. They still had a while to go and there would be no stopping unless for gas to continue the journey. The rain would melt what remained of the snow but if the rain froze they would be in for an interesting ride. Dean was a good driver but ice was ice and even the best tires on the planet couldn't stop you from landing in a ditch from it. Lightning scattered across the sky like veins of celestial magma and a loud clap of thunder-followed suit. Dean ticked his gaze up at the blackened sky and cursed when another cacophonous roar of thunder shook the car.

They weren't the only ones on the road but they were one of the few that were handling themselves better than most. Dean had already seen three cars pulled off to the side and to be honest he didn't think the weather was that bad, better to try and pass through it then wait around for it to pass you. Catching glimpses of the cars he could see that the lights were on but nobody was in or around the vehicles and the last one had an unhealthy amount of blood smeared on the inside passenger window. His hand traveled to the side panel of the door and he locked the doors, at this speed he doubted anything would be able to grab hold...yeah right. They could have stopped and gone out to investigate but he had a gut feeling that whoever was in those cars was already dead or worse.

Seeing what he had made him think if the omens would start again after the long stretch of silence. Dean had become suspicious and his nerves riddled with anxiety after the anti-climactic result of Lucifer being freed from his cage. Where was the blood and terror and cities being swallowed up in flames, the legions of demons rampaging over the earth and slaughtering and raping as they went? What was it that Lucifer was waiting for, an invitation to get the party started or was he biding his time and gathering his strength before he struck out at God and the world of man?

Now that Dean put it that way in his mind he was beginning to wonder yet again if they had any chance at all of winning and that all that they fought for was going to end up being for nothing. Eyes on the road and foot on the gas Dean kept to his task, they would bring Von back and fix Sam, maybe Von would have some important Intel from Hell that they could use to their advantage. However if Von wasn't Von anymore Dean didn't know what he would do, would Astarte care at all what was happening, would she want to help them or snuff out their lives in a blink of her silvery-blue eye. Dean knew she did not like humans anymore than she liked demons which would make convincing her to save the human race a hard sell. He hoped with everything he had that it wouldn't come to that.

888

**Ilchester, Maryland: Ruins of St. Mary's Convent  
>March 14th, 2009<br>12:34 AM**

After 21 hours in the car, Dean shaving off the other hour from stopping for food and bathroom breaks. It was a wonder they even got to the place. The closer they got the storm was still over them but was no longer raining. Snow was melted where they were which was strange beyond belief but in their place was already bloomed flowers at the convent. The ride there nothing was right, barely anyone on the roads and if there were they had some kind of car trouble but them. Donnie was starting to get more interesting in the car ride as well the closer they got. Reaching closer to their destination she had spurts of anger, spurts of pain, longing and even hard time breathing.

She had told Dean to keep driving and to not mind her, as she was just picking up on energy left behind. They left marks and to anyone sensitive passing or getting closer would pick up on it. Dean was getting a shy bit of it but not like Donnie was. She couldn't escape it and she rode it the whole drive. Now being at the place it was harder to make sure she stayed Donnie St. Lewis as she heaved, coughing for air and swatting Dean's hand away when he tried to see if she was okay. Closing her eyes she hunched over the outside of the car and it was like a whisper to her, coaxing her being, her essence and she felt Dean gather the items.

It was a slam into her and she snapped her eyes open. The orbs were a flowing kaleidoscope of red and amethyst. Turning her head to Dean she knew that this wasn't the woman that he knew, not the one in the drawing, not the Von he knew and nor was it entirely Donnie. Donnie was in her power, she had only been at this point once in her life and that was in High School when those boys had put the words and the marks on her back. She had given them payback and in turn she had scared herself from the way it engulfed her. Witches all had a level of power and though Donnie could never be the level that Von was and the woman residing in her, she was still capable of doing more than lower level pure blood's.

This time as her power was shown through her she sighed. It was like a combination of all the best things you ever experienced at once. Home. "Whatever happens, don't interrupt or try and stop what is occurring. I know what I'm doing."

Donnie left him at the car, knowing he would follow her. She moved towards the ruins, stepping over boulders of the convent and kept going even though it was a treacherous walk and that she could injure herself if she wasn't careful. Once at the point where the magick was strongest she knelt and began to lift the rubble with her abilities and hands to give assistance. Finding vines beneath after removing rocks in the shape of a body she brushed her fingers lovingly over the greenery. It separated, snaking away from whatever it was covering and she smiled at the red head before her. The body should have decomposed quite a bit but in fact the body was in perfect condition. She could now see why she was compared to this woman named Von. They looked close to identical but she smiled wider knowing that they had physical differences as well as personality.

"Hello there Von," she whispered. Her body faced the green-eyed hunter and received the recipe from him, as he was too busy staring at the healthy form of his friend. Donnie righted herself and inhaled. It was time to begin.

Goosebumps surfaced on Dean's skin to painful degrees and his heart skipped about frantically like a bird trying to escape but tethered at it's feet. Stepping over the ruins of the convent was like stepping into a garden, like nature had moved in and claimed the rubble as it's own, flowers lightly decorated every stone and moss and vines were draped every which way. His heart stopped at the sight of Von then with a painful boom all the backed up blood rushed through his chest and into his ears so that he could barely make out what Donnie was saying. He caught it, stay out of her way, no matter what happened.

Von looked peaceful, like she had fallen asleep in a bed of vines and flowers and at any moment would wake to smile at Dean and laugh at him worrying over nothing. He noticed her hair was longer than it had been as well as her nails but noticing those didn't mean anything, hair and nails grew on corpses too. Dean didn't have to touch her to know her body was as cold as the stone around her or that she had no pulse but when the lightning flashed overhead he could have sworn he saw her breathing. Shaking himself mentally he clenched his jaw and stood there as Donnie went on to perform the ritual.

For all its power it was a very simple ceremony at least on the surface, what would be going on inside of Donnie would be impossible to describe and Dean wasn't going to try, all he could do was stand and watch. Thunder boomed and rolled overhead, in time with the sporadic strobe of lightning that filtered through the clouds, the rain had stopped except for the odd drop here and there but it ever threatened to burst forward from the sky in a flood of water. Sirens blared out in the background, police and ambulance but it all felt like it was coming from some other place far away and the sounds of cold hard reality dimmed further when Donnie began to speak. Dean wasn't sure what language, it could have been Enochian, and while he was listening he watched Von straining his senses to catch any sign of life coming from her.

There was a pause in Donnie's speech and Dean could hear her drinking the vial of angel blood and out of some sick curiosity he turned to watch instantly regretting the vampiric sight and casting his troubled hazel-green eyes back on Von. Though it wasn't raining his shoulders were hunched around his head to deflect the startling sounds of thunder that insisted on attacking them, some were enough to make the rocks beneath their feet tremble. Donnie went on and it was then the wind picked up, pummeling them to the point Dean had to mask his face with his jacket in order to breath least the air be stolen from his lungs. The sky had instances of lightning that lapsed over long periods and the ground tremored but not from the thunder.

Squinting against the wind Dean could see the greenery about them convalescing yet carefully avoiding the three of them by mere inches. The ground beneath them was moving with living things and Dean wasn't all too sure this should have been happening as vines wove up around them, blocking out the harsh wind but trapping them as well. Higher and higher the greenery hardened to rough brown bark and Dean was terrified that they would be trapped inside of a tree to die when the top closed over sealing them inside. The words pouring from Donnie's mouth echoed and intensified inside of the wooden chamber and it sounded like a voice was singing back to her but in defiance.

Suddenly an intense ultra-starry light erupted from the cold gray stones violently engulfing every inch of shadow as it rose up the length of the tree trunk and escaped through the smallest of cracks in the grain. There was no time for human reaction, no time for screaming or trying feebly to find an escape. Dean and Donnie were swallowed in the intensity of the divine light but they were not gone and they were not hurt. What came as a surprise was the barrage of shouts coming from the other side of the thick bark, the sounds of axes and chainsaws and apparently any other implements the outsiders could find were being used to hack away at the wood to gain entrance. The trunk was torn open to reveal a dozen or more demons all their black eyes squinting and flicking against the light that was still oh so blinding.

Some screamed when the bark mashed together into roots and began to wrap around them, pulling them down into the hard rock as it rooted itself there against the unending wind. Their screams slowly died as they were crushed and no demon smoke could be seen escaping the debris, a sign that they were truly dead. Dean was still conscious and he couldn't find Donnie, though as the seconds ticked by he felt more lightheaded.

"Donnie!" he called above the din of thunder, voices and a sound that penetrated into his head like a war drum yet as soothing as a summer breeze.

Clasping a frail hand he somehow knew it was Donnie and he held on for all he was worth. The heavy beat of several sets of wings could be heard outside as the light in the tree trunk died and vanished leaving the two humans in a blackened hole. Dean pulled Donnie to him and wrapped his arms protectively around as his head whipped around to gain a bearing on what was going on. The demons had left but only to stand several feet away from the sounds of it, Dean could barely see from his vantage point. They were fighting with a group of other people with short silver daggers, angels, and neither side appeared to be fairing much better than the other because something else was killing the both of them off and it was angry.

A wrathful scream that made the sky split open with heavy rain and several more flashes that were not lightning and then there was silence aside from the sound of water on rock. Leaning out Dean pulled Donnie after him as he stood on a flat face of what was once a convent wall. He was at a loss for words; the bloodied bodies of several corpses from either side tarnished the lush greenery that had taken over. Speedily nature was taking its course and the plant life was crawling over and pulling under where it would fit pieces of the wasted bodies, what nutrients they could provide would not go to waste here.

You didn't need to be a rocket scientist to understand what had gone on here. The demons had shown up to stop Donnie or take Von, why else would they be here and then the angels showed up to stop them or maybe they were late as they usually were and had intended to stop Donnie as well, after all the angels wanted Von in Hell right where she belonged. Since Donnie was still intact Dean guessed they had been here to take Von because now that everything was silent, Von was nowhere to be found. But it wasn't really Von now; the being that had risen up out of the ashes like a Phoenix was Astarte.


	17. Chapter 17

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN! This is an update for all you die hard Halloween freaks and Supernatural as well! Happy Samhain & Halloween world. :)**

Donnie blinked and looked around them. It had all gone on so fast and now there was nothing but bodies around them. Angels hosts, their essences left behind but they were dead for sure. Demons hosts...She stared in horror. What did they do? What did she do? She brought back the one she supposed to but something went wrong or they were both just in the blue on what Von had become...or was it the other woman that was in control now? Still holding Dean's hand, they both refused to let go in case something was to happen. Her eyes were no longer the amethyst and red flowing together but the normal green-gray. That was when she fell, eyes closed and completely still.

It wasn't from the sight of the area it was from the angel blood she had consumed for the spell and she couldn't fight it if she tried. Donnie didn't regret having done it instead of Dean because whatever happened Dean still needed to be able to think correctly for the both of them. He had the most experience with hunting and his brother was alive whereas Donnie had no one alive that was that close to her. Sure there was Dean now but...he wasn't her blood relative. Feeling her body still alive, still active but she was unresponsive, just floating in her body as if she was sleeping and needed to simply wake up. Waiting to be awoken but she knew that she wouldn't so easily. The blood had to run its course, though she didn't know what exactly it would do, there was an inkling that she wouldn't be able to wake up and help Dean until it was completely gone from her system.

Donnie was trapped in her own body and that was when she screamed. The feeling of bright light. The feeling of trying to purify her being even though she wasn't necessarily the purest being to people's and creatures terms. The scream came inside and echoed on her walls but never escaped into the real world. She could hear Dean's voice, feel his arms take her up and into his form and even his steps that made her move against him the more he headed no doubt back to the vehicle.

_What about Alex, Dean? Is Alex is still there? Was Alex the same as Von's body? Untouched and healthy or is her body rotting below the convent ruins? I want to know, I have to know. I was so close to my friend's dead body that I didn't bother to check._

The familiar rumble of the Impala starting up she knew she would never get the chance. Even as she screamed for it, even as she screamed from the pain of the light burning her veins...Donnie was just like Sleeping Beauty in the moment. She pricked her finger on the spindle and now here she was.

The angel had them under as much observation as she could spare and her heart went out to the group of humans who had to suffer such pain and sorrow. Human emotion, the ability to feel, to live was what tempted her daily to fall from grace and be reborn on the mortal plane. Yet she made the decision she would be of better use as she was, yes she had her orders but anyone with high ranking could always get away with more than those beneath them. So it was that Ananchel leader of the 24th garrison of the Lord's celestial host took special interest in the misfit group of Winchester and Co.

She entrusted Castiel to watch over them when he could be spared which regretfully wasn't as often as Ananchel would have liked. It was the war, it waged not only on Earth bit in Heaven as well and she had seen many of her brothers and sisters fall in combat. Her hands had been tied more than once, certain prophecies had to be fulfilled and she was not to interfere through any means and on any level. That never stopped her from helping where she could, which again was hardly of notice to anyone even the other angels, especially since she sent Castiel on such covert errands.

The turning of Sam Winchester and the deaths of Alex Tatiani and Von MacKinnon were unfortunate but areas in which Ananchel could not interfere. Not even the angels could cure Lycanthropy and the deaths of the half-demon and witch were prophesied just as Dean's role to break the first Seal and set all this horror in motion was destined to happen as she later found out once Lucifer was free. It was time to choose a side and her choice was frowned upon by as many as supported her, now were they not only fighting demons but each other as well. But there was something that none of them had anticipated, they thought it was the mad ravings of a select group of demons however the rising of the mighty Goddess Astarte showed them otherwise.

Despite the gravity of the situation Ananchel took pity upon another witch by the name of Donnie St. Lewis, even though her mistake was grave and treacherous, consuming the blood of angels was blasphemy. Humans often made such terrible and reckless mistakes and Donnie would have been doomed to stay as she was, even if she were to wake her state of consciousness would not be able to cope with earthly interactions. Ananchel descended into Donnie's subconscious mind, her visage powerful and frightening as a figure made of light and fire and she carried with her a flaming spear topped with a silver point like a star. Exhaling her brilliant appearance cooled to one bearable to look upon and she gazed at Donnie with gentle dark green eyes, the remnant of flame lasting in her hair as a warm shade of red and her skin pale like alabaster.

She calmed the shrill pain coursing through Donnie's body with a gentle motion of her hand and she smiled kindly upon the young woman. "Hello Donnie, my name is Anna, I don't have much time but I've come to talk to you."

_Why is it that all women I seem to meet around the brothers lately all have red hair like me and pale skin?_

Donnie blinked instead of just floating in darkness in her body with the light hurting her, she was now standing with this woman at what looked like a crossroads. This woman wasn't Von though and neither was it the other woman that she could not place a name to. This woman was Anna. She looked very...angelic. Which wouldn't surprise her if she really was an angel who had come to her with how she had met Castiel an angel. But was this really an angel that was visiting her for whatever reason or was it the side effects of the blood? She could go with option A for now and if anything tricky happened next she'd then sum it to B.

"Talk to me. Why does everyone want to talk to me? If it's because of the spell, I'm sorry but you might not understand that it had to be done though."

_Wait, take a breather. Let's see what she says, that might not be the reason, but that would be idiotic to think that if it wasn't at least part of it._

"It is at least part of it," Anna nodded. "You took a great risk for the sake of a stranger that you hardly know for a stranger that you don't know at all, a sacrifice like that should be rewarded, unfortunately by brothers and sisters do not agree, I can give you protection but that is not why I'm here, there are more pressing concerns, the being that rose from St. Mary's convent. The ritual you performed was not responsible for raising Von but for weakening her, what she is now we don't consider much more than a monster and she will not stay weak forever, already the earth is reacting to her return, once she regains her full strength you and the hunters will have more to contend with than Lucifer and his demons."

Anna paused letting the warning hang in the air like death.

"The silver lining is she favors you and Dean, she protected you while angels came to kill her and the demons came to take her, I can't stay any longer." The angel placed her hand on Donnie's chest removing the angel blood from her system and sending out a current that caused Donnie to wince and gasp. "You are now protected from angels Donnie St. Lewis, they will never be able to find you, tell Dean and his brother it's too dangerous for them to be out in the open as they are, they need to be more careful." Anna was gone before Donnie could blink, leaving the witch to wake up on her own accord and relate the news to Dean as she saw fit. With Astarte's release the game had changed into a more deadly and unpredictable one.

Donnie jerked up in the car, inhaling sharply, hands on her chest...her breasts actually but she was more concerned about the feeling of being branded deep down, bone deep. Ribs. She removed her hands and found that Dean had almost swerved the car off the road from her coming back to the land of those awake. Astarte. That was the other woman's name. Noticing that Dean was talking to her, asking her questions if she was all right and what happened but she didn't answer. She knew that she had to tell Dean what Anna had told her but for some reason she figured he already knew that Astarte would add to their pile of havoc to clean up and fight with.

_I hope that Von is in there somewhere to take back her own body. Astarte...I...I don't know whether to be flattered or frightened or both._

She had been asleep for some time and they were already halfway back to Bobby's. Donnie explained by the time she got her bearings, what the angel had informed her and even her thoughts that they would have to work with Sam to get him better and back to his normal self without Von's help...Astarte's. Maybe Donnie should just stick to one name but she didn't know which. She liked to think that Von was still there despite what the angel said about Astarte. "I'm sorry Dean."

_It seems I failed again somehow._

The Impala swerved into oncoming traffic then swerved hard the opposite direction, banking on the very edge of where ditch met road. Instead of stopping Dean continued to drive gaining the composure needed to drive and that was about it. Dean nodded after Donnie had explained her touched by an angel experience. Anna was helpful but what Dean had learned about Von and Astarte was that they were one and the same. If they ever found her again there would be no split-personality-two-wills-fighting for dominion, there would only be Astarte. It was a cold hard truth but one Dean couldn't say out loud and because of that they would have to find another way of helping Sam. Looks like it was time to hit the books again once they returned to Bobby's.

888

**March 15th, 2009  
>Bobby Singer's House<br>4:54AM**

They had gotten back to the hunter's house hours ago but she couldn't sleep even if she tried. She knew that Dean was no doubt sleeping despite his wants to stay up. Donnie saw his eyelids fight him till he gave in and was now asleep on the desk with his face on the books pages. The red head guessed that Bobby was still outside, he decided it was best to start working on a car that someone had dropped by while they were gone that needed it done. Another hunter. Donnie didn't know what else to do and she had been helping research on helping Sam and given up once the silence annoyed her to great levels after 5 minutes of Dean being asleep.

Standing up from the couch she headed down the stairs to check on Sam. Each step she took down the stairs she knew that Sam was waiting, knew he knew that it was her and not Von, not Dean and certainly not Bobby. Walking closer to the closed door she unlatched and pulled letting it stay as open as possible as she stared at him as close to the barrier as possible and grinning down at her. "For a witch who is scared of werewolves you are pretty stupid. Out of all that I have heard about witches and werewolves, you are the first one that is scared of the creature that you are allured to."

"I'm not scared of werewolves. I'm scared of you. There's a difference."

"Oh is there?" he asked, his eyes sparkling. This woman had spunk and he tilted his head to the side as he leaned his forearm just against the barrier that he felt it press invisibly against his skin. "So why little red, did you come down to see me if you are scared of me? There must be a reason."

"To make sure the wards aren't broken and that you are still stuck in this room," Donnie said, not backing down from him, she was scared of him but she was not going to give him the satisfaction. In fact she stepped up against the barrier herself and stared hard into his amber orbs. "I'll reinforce them if I have to, just in case I feel a crack in it."

Placing her hands on the area, not going through it knowing once she did he could easily grab her. Closing her eyes she concentrated, trying to feel through it and so far there wasn't anything. But she could feel Sam want to fuck her, to kill her and eat her. She felt his body rub up against the barrier on the other side as if she could physical grasp him in her hands. "I felt what you did. You brought her back. The moment you did that connection snapped into place. Yet she's not here with you, you didn't bring her back officially. Now that is disappointing. Whether on your behalf because you are too weak or my brother's because he's even weaker and more pathetic."

"You know you can stop yourself Sam. You can really pull out of this shit that you claim is because of Lucifer, that you claim is because you don't have your magick teddy bear beside you to hide this all behind. I listen," she said, eyes still remaining closed and still feeling around. "Because let's face it here, let's face reality. It's all an excuse. You only let the animal inside win because you use Von as your excuse. If she leaves you completely in any way you drown into the only thing that could possibly give you more feeling or draw you out of that pit of despair. Excuses. Lucifer didn't do this to you, may have encouraged a bit but in reality...it's just you giving up. Suck it in and control it. And by the way, I'm not weak and neither is your brother. He's not pathetic. You're too blind to see it. If anything _you_are the weak one."

Sam growled and then snickered. "This coming from someone who is a low level witch that is pining for my brother when he doesn't pine back. You are just a fuck to him, someone to help him get what he wants and needs. Hell you'd be just a fuck to me as well or any other guy out there. But that's not what is bothering you is it? It's the fact that no matter how much you are compared you will never level up to the kind of power that Alex and Von were. I was wrong, you are more pathetic than my brother. I wouldn't be surprised if you were tossed out and squashed like the bug you are."

Donnie's eyes had snapped open and while Sam was being so confident in what he was saying to her, her eyes were the familiar red and amethyst that they had only been twice in her life, this would be the third time. After this she knew she wouldn't be able to hold it back because she couldn't ignore who she was anymore. She had been trying. It didn't work. Her fist had flown out and punched Sam in the face sending him from the sheer force flying backwards into the opposite wall. Stepping inside without really thinking about it she ran over to him and began to kick him, punch, straddle and injure and even hurting him on the inside as her eyes burned with rage.

When he got a chance he thrust up into her from the excitement, which caught her off guard and fighting to stay balanced. Sam grinned and was standing up, holding her locked to him and around his body as he pressed her onto the bed flat, staring above. He was going to fuck her and as she fought him his orbs lingered on her angry different colored ones. Alluring. Feisty. Scared. F-

He was cut off in his thinking when he saw out of the corner of his eyes someone standing in the room but it wasn't Dean or Bobby. Bringing his attention up his face fell as he saw the image of the red head he knew. Truly knew. He saw her and his heart wept, scrambling off of Donnie and pressing himself against the wall away from Von. He was the one frightened. Donnie stood and stared at him, he was staring over her shoulder and when she looked at what it was there was no one there. Bringing her attention back he was still staring and shaking his head, sliding to the floor and she turned around. In some way he was getting punishment and if it was the fact that he was going slightly crazy from whatever he saw in his mind that scared him...so be it.

Exiting, she didn't bother shutting the door. The wards were still good and strong and had not been weakened. Heading up the stairs her eyes still remained red warring with amethyst. Closing the door to the basement, Donnie noticed her fist, the pain radiating inside both of them and the green-gray came back, flickering down to her knuckles, her fingers were mangled and bloody, the skin torn from the force she had used. Going to the sink she knew her hands were broken from the contact on Sam's werewolf body that he held up to and switched the faucet on with her abilities as she let them be rinsed in stinging sensation under the flowing water.

_Stupid. I was so stupid for letting him get to me. But I showed him I was strong; I showed him I wasn't pathetic or weak. I showed him._

Turning the water off she didn't know where the bandages were in this house; trying the cabinets and even the bathroom ones she didn't find it. She realized she would have to wake up Dean and ask. Going up to him still asleep she bit her bottom lip to the side in thought. How would she wake him up? Giving a slight nudge with her forearm she said his name. Another repeat of the same two put together and then he fluttered the lids open to reveal the gorgeous orbs. Yet Sam's words floated into her head and she pushed them back.

"I need some help. Do you know where the first aid kit is in the house?" she asked, the sound of immense grieving and pain came from downstairs that didn't sound like the wolf she had beaten, sounded more human than it had. It made her slightly happy when it shouldn't have. She felt guilty instantly but not for the beating she gave him or the words she had said, but the fact she left him there when he needed help.

888

Dean dreamed of the white light and the great tree, Donnie was there and he was holding her tight to him he had to make sure she was safe. The closer he stared he swore he could see clearly through the bright light to the source, the divine being filling up the space that was too small for it. He could see her and she was staring right at him with a smile, before he could decide if he should be scared or filled with a sense of peace he heard his name and slowly woke to a room that was much darker than the divine light. Clearing his throat he rubbed a hand down his stubble face and opened his mouth to answer when his face dropped to the floor at the terrible sounds of grief coming up through the floorboards. Was that really Sam and what had happened to him?

Pulling his concentration away his hazel-green orbs immediately landed on Donnie's bloodied knuckles, standing quickly he took them in his own without a second thought. "What happened?"

He winced a little as the healing started and he could feel the bruising flush out through his fingers as the bones crackled and fractured. Dean already had some idea; Donnie had gone down to see Sam and he had angered her into taking it out of his ass. The only thing Dean felt right now was concern for them both, the sounds coming from Sam made his heart twist up in knots and seeing Donnie's hands made his gut flip. When they returned to Bobby's empty handed they had told Bobby what happened but never went down to tell Sam, Dean guessed he had heard most of the story from where he was anyway. Even if he hadn't Dean didn't want to admit to his brother that he had failed, instead he went right into research eventually failing with that too, at least for the evening.

Without any warning Dean's hazel-green orbs were locked onto Donnie's green-gray as he gently held her hands and he could feel a floodgate of images passing to her from him. It simply happened without him being able to stop it or having any sense to, like they were both watching a dream from his subconscious streaming live from some connection they suddenly had.

The moment he had taken her hands she had inhaled, staring dead into his eyes while inside her mind she saw things. Donnie heard and watched Dean pained through Hell, tortured and even the one who did the torturing, then the meeting with Astarte, which in turn was the reason for his healing ability. It flashed from that quickly to when Alex and Dean were in the panic room together, they had been locked down there by Bobby to get along and Dean had healed Alex's hand because she had stabbed clean through instead of cut the lines. She could pick up his feelings as she watched from his eyes. He liked Alex then, really liked her then despite her being a bitch.

Another flash and she was in the bedroom upstairs, but instead of a double bed there was a bunk bed. Alex had cut again and was hiding it with a long sleeve. He healed her despite her telling him no. Alex didn't want to be healed and she didn't really say thank you either. Her body jerked in her head speeding to another image from his eyes of healing Von in a different time period close to death, healing her before he would take her back to the safe house. Skip. Alex on the cross, tearing her off it and healing those wounds a little bit in that same time period. At the safe house on the floor healing Alex again. Healing Von minutes later. Healing, healing, so much healing and each time she saw it that it was Alex more than anyone else and each time Alex wasn't thankful she didn't want it and she hated it that Dean healed her. All of that and his memories of Hell...

When it stopped, Donnie blinked. Looking away from his eyes she found her hands in his perfectly healed and she removed her hands slowly. Bringing her head up she searched his green orbs, recognizing the flecks of hazel and she gave a little smile. "Thank you. Really Dean. Thank you."

The smile didn't last too long before she realized that he might hate her for her seeing what she did. She hadn't meant to but she knew that she had done it. He hadn't given them to her voluntarily and her abilities were growing since she had ignored her full power for years that she was getting what came with using them. Gaining her true birthright and not the simple things she had been doing. She had pulled memories from Dean that pertained to healing, to how he got the healing and what it did to him when he did it. She saw through his eyes and no one else's. There was some relief from it all that she wasn't like Alex at all, Alex didn't want what Dean had to offer her the way he did and Donnie didn't mind. She was thankful. Truly thankful and she didn't hate him for it. She'd repay him for it if he wanted it. He deserved it.

But it was the fear that he hated her, was angry with her for seeing in that, seeing what wasn't hers to see and what he didn't want anyone to know from Hell was a big one. Compared to the other things that was major. Worry laced her and she turned around, beginning to walk away, wanting to run away and she knew that Dean could see that on her face. She almost got to the start of her muscles preparing to run when she felt Dean grab her, not allowing her to leave.

The kiss was passionate but subtle in pressure Dean splaying his hand against the flat of Donnie's back to bring her closer. The moment lasted only a second before Dean stepped back and looked down into her eyes. "Don't mention it."

Taking another step back he pushed down the twinge of anger that he felt at Donnie knowing things he couldn't even tell his own brother. He switched to brother mode, Sam was still crying loud enough for him to hear and he didn't have any super sonic dog hearing to give him a boost. His brother may have been a monster and a raging asshole lately, but he was still his brother.

"You must have leaned into him pretty good to get him to cry like that, usually he enjoys being roughed up." The words sounded disgusting in Dean's mouth it was difficult to believe he was talking about Sam. Sweet, gentle, puppy eyed Sam was craving blood, violence and rape like it was candy hanging off a tree.

She felt horrible, knowing the anger right after the kiss. Sure the kiss was enough to shock her and enough to make her body react but then came the anger from him rolling like crashing waves in his orbs. "I actually didn't do much damage. He was close to doing something when he stopped. I think he saw something or someone, but when I looked there was no one else in there, Dean. No one." Donnie watched Dean process that before she inhaled. "I'm sorry Dean. I didn't mean to do it, I didn't..."

_Don't cry, don't even shed a tear, push it down. Good._

Blinking a few times she turned her head away and finally her whole back was to him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she looked a the floor. Dean was so closed off from anyone and she expected anger to come out of the accident but she also wondered why it was such a bad thing for someone to know? All that bottled inside was bound to fire back and she wouldn't let the slip up happen again. She could control it; it was just the matter of what she was capable of doing that would surprise her if something new popped up again. Her raised hand slid from down her cheek and landed on her lips. Finally allowing it to drop she needed whiskey, lots of whiskey. Dean she had learned was one to drink when things went wrong or just the state his mind was in, she was almost the same in that category.

Heading into the kitchen she found the bottle in the cabinet and uncapped it, not going for a glass as she tipped it back and let it burn down her throat from two long swallows. She brought it back down and turned, leaning her hip against the counter. Sam had quieted down a bit more and so far no other sounds were heard. Today was a wake up call for a lot of people. Not only for Donnie, but for the men in the household as well. Whether it was good or bad, she had yet to decide.


	18. Chapter 18

**March 15th, 2009  
>Bobby Singer's House<br>8:50pm**

Feeding time for Sam, Dean offered to be the one to toss the flank of beef inside the pen, it wasn't very civilized, but they were well past that point now. Sam was a wolf in human skin, Dean had to remind himself and it pained him more because he hadn't been able to bring Von back to his brother to help him and they still found nothing in any book or scripture to make him closer to himself. He questioned whether he would try to talk to Sam or just throw the food in and leave but there was a nagging in the back if his head that came with a question. What had caused Sam to freak out and have a break down after all his animalistic sexual threats and shocking violent demeanor was anyone's guess, but Dean had his theories.

Dean opened the panic room door that had since been closed when Bobby had been down there at noon to feed Sam. He didn't look directly at his brother with him being naked and all, instead focusing on a corner to fling the slab of beef. Taking a breath he let the words pass his lips that had been forming heavily on his tongue, "Donnie tells me she thinks you saw somethin' down here, don't suppose you want to say what?"

Sam raised his head and swallowed, he had tried to assess what he had seen. It was Von but then Donnie didn't appear to have seen anything and it had vanished not long after that. He was skittish and shaking. It had scared him and hurt him to see Von there. He was about to do some horrible things to Donnie and then he was stopped. It was a big snap to himself and his eyes were no longer amber but actually blue-green. The hunger was really bad and so was the urge to fall back into the withdrawal that combined with the beast he was. He was fighting and he was succeeding now that he was back.

Opening his mouth he stopped.

His eyes found Dean's and then saw Von right behind his brother, her hands playing over Dean's shoulders and down the front of his shirt but the eyes flickered from the green he knew to a clouded over color. Eyes widening he shook his head and flicked them to his brother. He didn't know. Von was standing there and there was no sign that he could see or feel her. Was he going crazy? Was it hallucinations? Withdrawal from the demon blood he could see that happening but so accurately placed? Why wasn't he seeing anything else? Why just Von?

When his eyes went back to Von behind Dean who was now stepping in front and grinning at him while she slowly slid down and to the floor, undoing his brother's pants and reaching inside Sam shot forward and pressed against the barrier as tears formed in his eyes. "NO! Don't! PLEASE! NO! STOP! NO!" he yelled, banging his fists against the barrier as he watched Von but he blinked as the tears fell and she was gone, Dean's pants were normal and everything was normal.

Sam stumbled back and fell to the floor, crawling fast in a blur he was at the opposite wall and huddled together while his head was up at the ceiling, staring at the ceiling fan as tears streamed down his face. What was wrong with him? He could feel so many things, he could even feel the three lives he hadn't spared way before he had found Dean and Donnie at the farmstead. Guilt, blood and the connection was open, wide open but there was no Von. Something was wrong with the connection and he could feel her but maybe he was just insane. Feeling a hand on his cheek running down it he screamed and fell to his side away from the red head there, kicking out. Haunted. Tortured. He was snapped out of it but now there was a new thing that was dragging him under.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" his voice strained and his throat felt like sandpaper from the yelling he was doing. "Dean! Dean you've gotta fix me. Please! I-I can't...NO! NO! Get away! Get away!" Sam ran to the wall on the left and pressed himself against it as if he could become one with it to hide.

Shock and something akin to fear filled Dean up to the brim and he stared in stunned silence as Sam wailed and threw himself about the room in a panic. It took everything within Dean to stop himself from running into the room to help his brother, his thoughts ticked to it being a trick when really he knew there was no way it could be.

"Sam, what's going on?" Dean shouted across at him every muscle in him tight and bunched ready to sprint in even though he knew he couldn't do a damn thing to help him. Something was in there with him from what Dean could tell, honestly he couldn't tell, he couldn't see, hear, smell or feel anything, except maybe the ominous uncomfortableness.

There was no escape from the vision of Von, her presence was a disease to Sam's already ailing heart and she had no intention of leaving. She squatted down next to him, legs tucked under her and arms wrapped around below her knees with her head tilted to the side and a smile on her face, innocent and petite like she was amused by the cuteness she found in Sam's terror. Extending her hand she tucked a wild wisp of Sam's brunette hair behind his ear and her mouth opened in a silent laugh when he trembled and whimpered to the point of screaming at her phantom touch. He wouldn't dare flick his eyes over to catch a glimpse; he could tell she was still there watching him patiently.

Shaking his head his breathing came out as if he was trying not to puke, he imaged he looked a little green. "Fix me Dean, I'm...it's...DON'T!" he yelled at Von when she went again to touch him. "Don't touch me! DEAN! Just, fix me! She's...she's here. But you can't see her...she's here...oh god...NO! STOP!"

Sam took her wrists in his and he was scared as he stared into her face. In reality he was just holding the air. Immediately letting her go, he turned his face away and head went into his hands, his hands running through his hair and gripping every few seconds and then running through again.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry. NO! Don't!" he flinched away and squeezed his eyes shut tighter and snapped his head up to look at Dean with pain filled eyes. "Don't let her touch me. Don't let her...I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Dean wasn't a brain surgeon but he didn't need to be one to figure out who decided to visit Sam. They had been there when Von, correction Astarte, rose up and now Sam was seeing the red head, it was easy math. The hunter knew he didn't have much right in saying that Sam deserved this mind fuck; it was just Sam had to be reminded of what he had lost. Thing was not only was Sam grieving he was purely horror-stricken at the apparition of his lost love. Or what had been his lost love. He couldn't figure out how Astarte was doing it, maybe that was all she could muster up after being weakened from the angelic resurrection spell. Or maybe Dean was making too grand a connection when it could be that Sam had finally snapped and there was nothing more to it than that.

"Sammy, there's no one there nothing can get in remember?"

He tried to calm his brother and cringed when Sam screamed like he had been burned with a hot iron. If Bobby were home he wouldn't know what to make of this either but he was currently out of State helping a buddy on a hunt, the paranormal activity had spiked within the last twenty-four hours and hunters were scrambling to put down the creepy-crawlies as fast as they were sprouting up.

"God damn it." Dean couldn't stand there dumbly and watch his brother go through this. Grabbing a blanket that was off to the side with some boxes Dean entered the room, stepping over the threshold knowing there was little if anything he could do to help. He wrapped the blanket around Sam more for his own sake than his brother's who was as hot as a furnace, now the next step was to get him to snap out of the fit he was in. "Sam, there's no one here just you and me," he told him though a small part of him felt like he was lying when that ominous weight settled on him like a cold blanket. Still he couldn't see what Sam was seeing and Dean thought he was better off for it. "We'll do whatever we ca-"

Dean was knocked back suddenly when Sam kicked out defensively his head connecting against the metal frame of the cot. Vision spinning Dean groaned in discomfort the first thing coming back to his rattled senses was Sam's broken sobs. Feeling the back of his head Dean winced pulling his hand back to find it smudged with blood. The wound would heal soon enough so Dean wasn't concerned about permanent damage, the one good thing about his gift, no more concussions.

"Sam," he groaned while his vision blurred out before refocusing and he thought he saw a strange shadow from the far corner of his eye but when he looked it was gone.

"Oh god Dean..." Sam curled the blanket in his fist to cover himself as he went over to Dean, Von had disappeared for a few seconds. "I didn't mean to. I..." Seeing the want to get away from him, Sam couldn't blame his brother. Stepping back he gave Dean distance as he then felt Von's hand rest on his back, trailing down his skin, which made him cringe and jump away. "Get out Dean. Get out, you have to. I don't want to hurt you or anyone...just...Leave me alone!" he screamed the last bit out as he turned to look at Von, pushing her away as she laughed like they were playing a game.

Hearing Dean leave he ran his hand through his hair. How did this all happen? How did he drown so far into being what he was and just letting himself go that he forgot what really mattered and that was the fact that he was Sam and not the animal. That he had a brother who albeit wanted to kill him, cared for him. Eyes landing on Von as she righted herself he ran to the other side away from her. Pain crawling over his heart and clawing at it.

Von sprawled out back arching off the ground and her mouth opened, no sound came out but the intent of the moan traveled down Sam's spine to drive hard into his tailbone. Rolling over her pearlescent eyes widened a fraction likely her pupils would be dilated to their fullest if the swirling silvery orbs had any to show she could see. Closer and closer on all fours movements graceful and unnatural and every bit as alluring and threatening as Sam had once been when he crawled towards Von this way. He was newly turned and everything was fresh and exhilarating to his new senses as everything no doubt still was. So close to touching and then she was gone, vanishing without a trace into thin air. This would give Sam a small reprieve from the sight of her but no doubt she would return at some unexpected time and place.

Dean stayed as long as he could stand to watch his brother, it was his own torture because he couldn't do a damn thing to save him, not that he was going to give up on trying but how was he going to stop a Goddess from driving his brother insane? The ward to protect Sam from getting out and hurting anyone was designed by the one that was haunting him. Swinging the door closed Dean locked it in place and began the long march up the stairs his feet landing on the planks of wood like lead weights. He wandered outside in the yard, cold and dark and gazed up at the clear sky and all the pinpricks of light twinkling back at him. Dragging in a deep breath of the freezing air Dean closed his eyes and tried to gather the rattled fragments of his emotionally fucked up thoughts.

"Cas, could really use your help...its Sam he's finally lost it, or there's something else..." Dean heaved a sigh and his eyes met the cold gravel dirt at his feet and he shrugged into his jacket when a blast of icy wind whipped past from nowhere. Lifting his head he looked around genuinely expecting Castiel to be there, but the only thing that caused the wind was the wind. "C'mon Cas..."

888

Castiel called. He could hear Dean calling for him but he had no idea where the hunter was from the marks he had placed on his ribs. Standing in a supermarket parking lot by the telephone booth that had gum placed on some of the numbers. He had tried to find ways around it with a dime and discarding it once he had finished the number. Hearing the ringing stop and the sound of someone answering before Dean's voice came he looked at the spot he had stepped in out of impatience and nervousness at using human technology. Raising his foot he set it down away from the previous area. "You called."

Hearing the angel's voice on the other line was a surprise before he remembered that Cas like every other angel couldn't find him if they tried. "Yeah, uh, I guess. I'm at Bobby's you think you could wing your way over here?"

"Give me a few seconds and I'll just...wing my way over as you put it," Castiel spoke, hanging up the phone he was now behind Dean. "So, what is this about Sam?"

Dean's shoulders bunched together in fright and he made a face to match, really wishing that Castiel would stop sneaking up like that. Turning around to face the angel made it no better, as Cas was hardly a foot away from where Dean stood. "He hasn't outright said it, but I think he's hallucinating about Von." Dean took three healthy steps back before he started again, "To me that's too much a coincidence with Astarte popping loose from the Pit."

"That would be something to concern about, Astarte's release was very dangerous and could mean more destruction on the earth and deaths than what anyone can handle. I understand you and Donnie were responsible." Castiel stared at Dean when he gave him a look of that is not what he was talking about. "Oh you mean this to be about Sam. I have no clue."

"We were trying to get Von out of Hell, not Astarte," Dean defended, he was regretting calling Cas up, the angel had a way of being too blunt about the facts and his observations which really grated on Dean's already frazzled nerves. What came out of the angel's mouth next was even worse… "Thanks for the insight Cas," Dean chewed out sarcastically. "You've got no way of knowing if Sam's over the deep end or if it is something messing with his head on purpose?" Dean was desperate for any kind of answer, an answer would help him figure out what he could do to solve the problem. There had to be a way for Castiel to do something, he was an angel after all how useless could he possibly be?

Castiel thought for a moment. Listening in especially to his superior who hadn't gone hunting for him for his disobedience. "Sam is sane according to terms. Does that help? I cannot mark the specific being targeting him but that is only because the being has blocked anyone who attempts to. If it is Astarte, I believe she is doing this for a reason. I can't help you with such matters if that is so."

"There has to be something we missed."

When the hunter caught Castiel shaking his head Dean opened his mouth to demand they keep looking only to close it tightly. Castiel didn't have any reason not to help him, if there wasn't a way to protect Sam from the Goddess...Dean knew it was more than likely Astarte and if he knew anything about the Goddess he knew why she was doing this to Sam and she would not stop until she was satisfied with the end result.

"We can't just let her drive him insane Cas, isn't there anything in your angelic arsenal that can help with this?" Dean knew there wasn't a snowball's chance, Astarte told him things, no angel could stop her. Usually he'd believe it when he saw it, this time he believed it straight up because he was too fucking scared to ask questions.

"There are more pressing matters than me going around to help you and your brother Dean. I gave you the amulet to help and there is nothing else I can do. Hunted down and cut off from Heaven," Castiel spoke, he was closer to Dean as he stared at him. "Not everything is about you or Sam. Lucifer is free...I'm sorry but I can't help this time. No angel can." He was gone before Dean could even register.

888

Donnie had been drinking for a while she wasn't even buzzed. It took quite a bit of whiskey to do her in from building up a tolerance. She wasn't as good as Dean probably was or Bobby but she was above average. She was reading for more ways while Dean had gone to check on Sam and even gone outside to cool off. Donnie got so into reading she hadn't even realized she was tilting the bottle a little off from her mouth and she cursed and stood. Setting the bottle down she stared at her pants and unzipped the jeans. The red head moved to the kitchen after making sure no one else was in the house and turned on the faucet.

Soap, towel and scrubbing she was trying to get the stain out and smell of alcohol. Giving up she went back to the bottle and drank some more while she went back to more scrubbing at hopeful attempts. The door sounding got her attention and she shot straight up. Trying to find something to cover her bottom half she took the bottle and set it right in front of her crossed legs covering the crotch of her panties. A sight to see, no doubt. Button up shirt, tank top, bottle of whiskey hanging just so and one hand on the counter as if it was casual.

_Why does it seem that whenever I drink some form of clothing comes off?_

"Hello," she winced a bit at her situation and how she had said the word like she was trying too hard to be casual as it was slow. "Um..." Her eyes went to the ceiling and Donnie couldn't have felt any more stupid. "Whiskey." The word came out more like a question. So much for explaining.

Dean stared, starting out with a stupid grin on his face that rolled into his own form of "Hello" and he admired the whiskey bottle a while longer. Then his heart plummeted at the memory of another time and he felt for those two shallow heartbeats that he would never recover. "I went out to talk to Cas, nothing we can do to help Sam." Dean dropped his head down into the fridge holding the door open and using it as balance. He grabbed a beer and popped the lid on the counter top before taking a long pull from the bottle. Wiping the moisture off his lips with the back of hand he stared thoughtfully at the brown bottle, then he noticed the quiet. "How long has he been quiet for?" Worry crawled into his chest; in many cases silence was worse than noise. Silence could mean a dozen terrible outcomes had come to fruition and they never had the chance to try and stop it.

Donnie listened and then ticked her head to the microwave clock. "Not long. He could be resting," she said, removing the bottle without thinking and took a long pull. So Dean had gotten a look on his face but she could tell when it was wiped off. "And just because Cas says so doesn't mean that we can't get Sam back to being Sam. I mean so far he's...well...besides the seeing things, he's relatively back. In the meantime I say we continue to keep an eye on him, eat, have loads to drink. Never want to get down on whiskey, always a bad sign when you run low. And finally, I think we can really do only that. I'm not much help but good for smiles, drinking and a friendly comforter who happens to have no pants...I swear I am better with not wasting liquor."

Taking up her pants she brought the bottle back to cover while she placed the pants into a basket that looked like it needed items washed. Donnie's bare feet lifted as she walked back into the study and sighed, closing her book she really needed to find something to cover her ass while the bottle covered her front momentarily. Though she would be lying if she didn't say that Dean's grin, staring and Hello hadn't caused a very deep and persistent reaction within and down under. Hell he could probably see a little if she didn't have the bottle on the crotch and now a pillow on her ass.

_If I keep drinking I'm going to worry about spilling more and soon I'll begin to question the alcohol gods._

Normally Dean would be on Donnie in an instant but he wasn't feeling his usual frisky self. He admired from a respectable distance and thought she was damn cute and that was all. Taking another swig of his beer Dean shifted his weight in the direction of the basement door. "I'm gonna check on him," he said before leaving the entrance to the study to walk down the hallway.

He was only as quiet as he could manage when there really wasn't any point, Sam could have heard him walking down a set of wooden stairs two football fields away. Dean sat at the base of the stairs, choosing to stare at the closed door and simply listen out for any sounds that were coming from the other side. There were none. Waiting a while longer Dean stood and approached the door raising a tentative hand to the cold iron handle and resting it there, the touch froze him and he lost track of how long he had stood there staring blankly at the door. He had to keep himself from falling apart even though the weight was crushing him inside and out and the world was darkening all around him. Dean was lost without a hope in Hell and he had no light to guide him, stumbling in the dark after his brother with too many ghosts stalking silently behind them.

_No one has a way to help you Sammy, there has to be a way, an' we'll find it..._

With a twist of his wrist he pulled the latch and the door swung open at a crawl revealing inch by inch the insides of the panic room. Dean didn't know if he would have anything to say to Sam but he wanted his little brother to know that he was there, despite everything, he was there.

888

She stared after him, letting everything just fall except the liquor as she gave him a weird look even after he was gone and out of sight and earshot. "I'm gonna check on him," she mimicked in a gruff voice and a face that could have justified as a caveman when in fact Dean was anything but.

_Just being the protective and concerned older brother._

Donnie took a long pull from the bottle and wrinkled her nose. She was hot. Like hot, not in the sense of looks because she knew that much was true that she was hot but she felt insanely hot. Bringing her hand up to her forehead she squeezed one eye shut...so maybe she was a little bit drunk...she could tell the signs when she started doing cute stuff. A small bead of sweat decorated her skin and she groaned, setting the bottle down instantly and blinked a few times. The world swam. Donnie knew that this wasn't the alcohol, so maybe she wasn't really drunk. Her breathing came kind of sparse and her hands fumbled horribly at removing the button up. Next was the tank top and still she was hot but she was _not_ taking off her bra and panties. That was just no...Not her.

Swallowing long and hard she slid to the floor, crawling her way to the bathroom that was on the main floor, managing to get there just fine she gripped the sink and stood. Looking at herself in the mirror she blinked and saw through someone's eyes. Or was it a dream? Body temperature normally hot; used to it now, which didn't make sense to her. Then she saw the forest and heard her voice come out as she opened it, the movement caught in the mirror. "Fox?"

A slam to her being she shook her head and exhaled. The connection of any werewolf and any witch was very strong and sometimes the connection did unpredictable things. Donnie didn't want to enter Sam's dreams ever again or his viewing ever again. She knew it was Sam because the voice was familiar. Her temperature cooled down and she now had cold sweat rolling down her back. Donnie splashed water on her face before she exited, hurrying to grab her discarded items and duffel before heading back into the bathroom to change back into the tank top and a pair of clean jeans.

When she finished with changing she heard the front door opening. Bobby must be back. Donnie left, she moved around the hunter, brushing shoulders barely as he made the way to the kitchen for a beer and she to the stairs to deposit her duffel for now. She hoped that she would get a chance to maybe catch some sleep in this house in the bed upstairs if she made it that far. Giving a sneeze, Donnie realized something. "Whiskey." She had left her whiskey on the coffee table. Taking it back up and sinking back and down into the couch.

888

Sammy was sleeping, clutching the blanket like he was Linus from Peanuts, his chest rising up and falling down in a steady peaceful rhythm. The ominous weight in the room was gone and Dean was relieved for the time being and hoped that Sam was finding some reprieve in his sleep. Emptying his beer Dean ascended the steps after securing the panic room door at the sound of Bobby and Sorcha returning home. The elder hunter was in the kitchen grabbing himself a beer and Sorcha was there slurping up some nice cold water, lifting her head her fur bristled as she sneezed then wagged her tail happily at the sight of Dean, going over to him for a hug.

"Hey big girl." He smiled stooping down from his height to run a calloused hand down her fur and scratch her behind her thick pointed ears. Making a face he crinkled his nose and let out a heavy sneeze that threw his whole body into a tiny spasm, sniffling he blinked and stood straight to address Bobby. "I smell pine," Dean quipped when Bobby moved and a smattering of pine needles hit the floor. "You bush whacking? It's a little late for a Christmas tree Bobby...or early depending on how you look at it." The elder Winchester went to the fridge and grabbed himself another beer, his nose still tingling from the earlier sneeze.

"Does anyone else think yer clever or is jus' you?" Bobby retorted back and took a pull from his beer, Dean was a damn idjit most of the time and a plain idjit the rest and Bobby was covered in pine needles and sap which made him far from in the mood.

"What was it that you were hunting anyway?"

Dean was placed into a somber mood by Bobby's grumpiness; the elder had a way of making the boys behave themselves like a father would over his children. No jokes, back to business. The hunters looked down to Sorcha when she sneezed not once but three times, swiping her paws over her nose to rid herself of the irritant. "It wasn't Santa Claus," Bobby grumped at the younger man. "Some dryads were havin' themselves a human bonfire," he explained to Dean's bewilderment, "yeah, I know, dryads stay away from people unless their trees are been chopped then they get nasty, but these went into a town to take care of some barbeque."

"What the hell Bobby?" Dean stood there amazed and shocked remembering to take a drink and a long one from the beer he was holding in his hand.

"Beats me kid, all the monsters are goin' bonkers out there since Lucifer got popped from the box," Bobby went on and stopped when he saw Dean shaking his head.

"No, everything's been quiet, things started getting busy-"

"After Von came back." Bobby put two and two together, it had hardly been two days but the signs were clear and none of them believed in coincidences. The angel Anna said they would have more to worry about with Astarte around, now everyone aside from Dean was going to be able to see why.

Hearing what the two hunters were talking about, she really started to feel a heavy weight on her being. She was the reason that Astarte was topside and with how conclusions were going that she was no doubt behind certain activity. Donnie took another long pull only to find that this time the whiskey bottle was empty. Standing up she moved to the kitchen and discarded it. She already knew where the liquor stash was and she was already grabbing another bottle and moving towards the stairs before giving a pat on the head to Sorcha. There was no need to explain where she was going as she shouldered her duffel and ascended.

On the second floor, it was her second time walking down it to the bedrooms and this time she headed into the room on the right. One nice big bed and she pulled off her jeans. Why did she change into jeans if she was just going to take them off seconds later? She wasn't sure. Once those were off she glanced at the closet to look in the mirror on the door, taking a long pull she walked towards it, keeping an eye on herself. Quirking her mouth to the side in thought as she swallowed. That was when she heard a scuffle.

Snapping around, the red head scanned her eyes over the room. A tug on her hair made her mouth open and she yowled in pain, hand shooting to the strand to find it connected to the mirror edge. With care she took care of the situation. Another swig and she was on the bed. The sounds of talking and then finally footsteps to what would be the study. Dean. Then footsteps to come up the stairs and a sigh that was all too much like Bobby. Door shutting, the hunters were sleeping for the night.


	19. Chapter 19

**11:00PM**

There was bouncing on her bed behind her back. There was tickling of her exposed skin from her shirt that had lifted up in sleep just slight on the lower back and on her hip. She inhaled and arched, rolling her shoulders and stretching as she nuzzled the pillow. "Dean..." she moaned slightly, turning over onto her back and opening her eyes.

What was there was a man...well kind of a man, sort of a tiny man that was very good looking but instead of something that was more like Ken doll size it was kind of about the size palm to her middle finger. He was very good looking but the smile it had made her wriggle away and made a weird sound of ah with an L lilt to the beginning. Something to the area she was wriggling to, snorted, and Donnie brought her attention to a squashed, layered looking troll of a thing that was actually bigger, maybe cabbage patch kid size.

About to open her mouth and scream, something tickled her tongue and made it feel tingly. Trying to voice her distaste there was no sound that came out. No words. Donnie brought her hands out and the two things went flying away from her, one to the floor a good ways and one actually sprouted wings. Male and teethy was that one. The red head was on her feet and actually trying to avoid more things that she couldn't see, sprinting past with laughter that made her squeak, the sound nothing but silence. Once at the door she jerked it open, sprinted down the hall and nearly slamming into the railing at the other troll on the wall inches from her face.

Hurry. Hurrying was what Donnie did, finding Dean asleep on the couch she made it to him in relief. "Dean," she began to shake his arm a little, she couldn't see anything around her anymore but she swore they were there. "Dean." A little more insistent and louder.

"Mmmhmgh." Dean scrunched his face from the disruption and squinted his eyes open to find Donnie looming above him, his eyes had since adjusted to the dark room and he could see clearly that she was scared and worried. "Wha'sup?" Dean brushed the sleep out of his eyes with a groan, what little there was, with the heel of his palm and sat up with a groggy grunt escaping his throat.

"There are things inside the house Dean. I...I know this might sound crazy but I think it was a faerie and some trolls and other things. Dean I swear I saw them. One fucking felt me the fuck up and of course I thought it was you but it wasn't and..." Donnie stopped when she saw the expression on his face and heard the words that came out of his mouth.

Dean cracked a stupid tired grin, "Faeries?" he laughed. "Out of all the things you could be seeing from all that alcohol it's faeries?" He was trying hard to be serious because Donnie was obviously freaking out over this but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Ghouls, ghosts, Wendigos, werewolves, but no it was Tinkerbell that had Donnie wound up like a spring ready to snap.

Her mouth opened and she hit him on the shoulder not too hard but still a little hard. "I am not drunk Dean Winchester. I just got felt up by a faerie! Do not laugh!" she said when he began to chuckle.

_Okay I can see how it looks and sounds...but I'm serious!_

"I'm serious Dean. There is no way I am sleeping up there with those things in my room! The next thing that happens I might just get more than a feel dealt on me but worse!"

"Okay, okay." Dean held up a hand in surrender his shoulder stinging a bit from where she hit him but he wasn't given much time to react as the pain quickly subsided. Whatever Donnie thought was happening to her Dean was going to help her deal with it, in the morning she'd see how it was all just a bad dream like he knew it to be. "We can make enough room on the couch here." Dean stood to find a blanket for them; he had fallen flat asleep on the couch in what he was wearing and nothing extra. Sometimes it could turn chilly in the study at night with no light or much heat and Donnie was in nothing but her top and panties.

"Thanks," she sighed gratefully, allowing Dean to situate himself first before she managed to slide in against him. As she did she was starting to feel a different sense of fear and that was reacting to Dean while this close and on a couch. Glancing back at him and giving another look of thanks she settled in and went to snuggle down. Donnie stopped when she did and she squeezed her face to not let loose any sounds from her mouth. "Sorry. So sorry."

_Breathe._

Donnie stared at the stairs from where she was laying and knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Not after seeing those things and definitely not now pressed as close as possible to the hunter behind her otherwise she'd fall off the edge of the couch. So warm though, he was wearing more clothing than she was and he was very...very warm. She swallowed hard at that.

"Jus' relax," Dean mumbled against her sleepily wrapping a hand around and clasping one of her hands in his without putting much thought into it.

This was comfortable and he needed her to lose the tenseness in her body, there were no faeries that was about as crazy as crazy got. They were both overtired and stressed, adding alcohol to that could cause anything to happen like having illusions of keeblers causing mischief. Donnie would feel like a fool in the morning and Dean promised himself he would try not to laugh too hard at her for being silly and cute. Really, really cute...

Her stomach rolled when he spoke against her and she fluttered her eyes closed as she exhaled, letting the rolling continue down until it settled between her thighs. Feeling his hand in hers and his arm around hers, his body to hers like a puzzle, she began to actually relax. It wasn't because Dean said so but because he calmed her. Donnie's hand in his rested them just underneath her breasts but not too much just enough for her to be comfortable as she began to drift into sleep easier than she could ever had done it in her life, easier than doing it with alcohol or a sleeping agent. "Thank you Dean..." she breathed, the words slurring as she slipped further into dreamland. 

888

_Why are you killing yourself?_

The fox gazed sorrowfully up at Sam with her ears lowered against her head and her copper-brown eyes sad and worried. Lucifer had stopped her form seeing him but Astarte had stopped Lucifer allowing Fox to return to aid Sam on his painful journey back to who he was supposed to be. Astarte as she was now had no connections with Sam, not like she had with Dean or even with Alex, but it was her time as the human Von that created the bond with this man turned wolf. This bond was still important, as it had been when human Von was alive and would now thrive beyond the limits of mere humans.

That is once Astarte returned to her full strength as she soon would but Fox knew that Sam could feel that the connection had returned however she would not speak of it unless Sam was the first to bring it up. Which she doubted, Sam didn't know Astarte, he could only feel that it was Von, different but still Von. The fox sat quietly but away from Sam, or rather he was away from her, her nose twitched at the smell of fear and pain coming off him, she was a gentle thing but even she found it in some part alluring. And yet she was still very sad that Sam had fallen to such a low and wished to care for him in any way she could, as was her mission until the time was right.

Sam stared at the fox that had come back to him. "Killing myself? You were gone...there was nothing I could do. I couldn't...You were gone. Now I'm being haunted by Von, or is it even Von? Feels different. The only thing I can remember is that Von had told us that Astarte could take over and if that happened we had to kill her. I can't do that even if it was something else inside. I...I don't know what is wrong with me. Am I going crazy?"

_Your eyes are opening_, the fox replied and swished her frosty white tail, _there is nothing inside of anything that should not be there, that is like saying your own soul does not belong in your own body._

Fox hoped that Sam understood, perhaps not now but someday sooner than later for his own sake. Von had existed but she was a smaller part of a whole waiting to become complete, there was one last sliver left before that could be accomplished.

_Sometimes when your eyes open too wide your mind goes with them, I am here to help you with that_. The petite coppery white fox placed a delicate paw in front of her and one step at a time walked up to Sam. She could not have him be afraid even if in the end he was destined to go insane and lose his roots in reality.

"What? I don't understand," Sam voiced, letting the fox come closer to him as he laid down to stare up at the canopying trees. He blinked and swore he saw Von but her teeth were a little sharp and he jerked up, eyes searching frantically the area. Calming his breathing he placed his head in his hands. "Why can't Von be here? I need her here...I miss her so much."

_Everything is about to change_.

The fox rested her tiny black paw on Sam's leg and all the fur on her body shimmered and lifted away in the breeze like a mist of metallic pollen to reveal her more human shape. Her blackened fingers with the sharp nails led up to a pale arm, which led to a marble pale neck, amber-brown orbs stared from behind thick white eyelashes.

_She will find her way back to you; she will find you Sam before you have a chance to find her_. The fox turned woman with the exception of a few physical traits that gave away her true nature rubbed her hand up and down Sam's like to comfort him. It broke her heart to see him so sad and lost, raising one hand she brought it to one of his and cupped it brushing her coal black thumb over his tanned skin.

888

**March 16, 2009  
>10:43AM<strong>

Waking up was fantastic, she was warm while the house was just a little cold from last night. The weather was still transitioning into Spring and that meant that nights would be freezing still. Upon opening her eyes she was staring right at Dean as he slept, his lashes brushing his cheeks, freckles beneath, stubble running along the lower part of his face and the way his nose appeared to have been injured too many times to count. Trailing to his lips they were somehow just perfect, closed and full and she went to move a little of her body to stretch some muscles finding her left leg underneath his right one. Jig-sawed in between his and she knew perfectly well where her knee rested and where his knee rested on their bodies.

_Oh no, no, no, no...Why do I get myself into these kind of positions with this man?_

Donnie tried to think. Even when the tug on her hair came she knew she was screwed way more than she was. It wasn't Dean, it was higher that the strands floated and had tugged and the second time it happened she actually yelped and jumped closer to Dean, which in turn placed both their knees in the correct space. Her breath came out like she was punched in the gut and a moan left her when he stirred and moved it, moved his hand up her back as well and sparking her nerves to react in arching.

"Don't...move..." she breathed out another moan.

_So I wasn't dreaming and I did end up here and the fucking fucker just pulled my damn hair!_

"It seems we've intricately placed ourselves in our sleep."

_Being with another body that feels so good and can make me feel so good, we seem to continue to wind up like this or under dressed...well maybe the latter being just me lately but come on! The couch at the motel room could have ended like this!_

"Just...don't move your knee and I won't move mine..."

_Though I really want you to. But not now. We are friends who take notice in the others assets and gain some benefits from it like a small kiss for thanks or a lingering glance that follows alcohol. Sam is the main focus and the damn faeries. I'm the only one can see them apparently but how? Why?_

A pinch on her ass made her release a startled sound, her hand flying to the spot which in turn made her move from the pain of it. Another moan. God damn it she was going to kill those mischievous faeries, trolls and whatever the hell else there is in the house that got in. Her hand went from her ass to her cover her mouth and she apologized through her fingers. "I'm so sorry." Both hands going to cover her face she wanted to hide, hide so bad. Yeah she had sex with Dean one time already but that was influenced and she didn't mind it, she didn't regret it but she felt kind of embarrassed when she moaned because it sounded so needy. In other words cute or a complete turn on to some. "I'm so sorry."

Dean groaned but it was far from a pleasant sound the closer Donnie's knee came to his crotch, uncomfortable and bordering on dangerous. Dean shifted his own leg, which elicited a different reaction from Donnie. Hand on her knee to keep it from nudging his goods he opened his eyes. "It's okay, just, holy shit what the fuck is that?"

Dean recoiled into the couch cushions with a mixed expression of surprise and disgust on his face with the smallest hint of him wanting him to get closer to inspect the curiosity. The little creature appeared over Donnie's shoulder gnarled and brown like it was made from the roots of a small tree, a miniature Ent with a mischievous glint in it's shiny golden eyes. It chortled at him and Dean's lip curled like he had just seen a dog eat another dog's shit. What the hell was going and what the hell was the mutant weed giving Dean the stink eye for?

Donnie's eyes widened when she heard and felt the thing on her shoulder, she whimpered and only shifted her eyes to the thing. "I told you...I wasn't drunk. Believe me now?" she asked. Something touching her back made her push more into Dean. "Stop touching me!" she snapped her head to the side and her nose was only a small sand particle away from the thing on her shoulder. "Get off me you little fucker."

Quickly standing up, tossing the blanket back she stood and tripped at two other fae on the floor holding a pillow at her ankles. The red head went down and winced, turning over she had more things grab her hair and tug. They had all been watching Dean and her as they slept and she felt disgusted. Swallowing, her eyes flashed amethyst and red but something sprinkled into her eyes to cause them to shut. Blind. She was blinded. Donnie couldn't open her eyes.

"Dean, what is going on? I can't see."

Dean stood, a giant among the tiny people but it was no different than a small cat and a large dog, some giggled while others sneered scheming of delightfully nasty things to do to the man and the woman. If they could not get to the old man for disturbing them and their sacred area than they would take it out on those that were susceptible because they were loved by the elder hunter. Several grabbed Dean's toes and spread them apart causing him to shout in pain and kicked them off in all directions, raising his leg cost him his balance and the little Ent scrambled up his leg and jabbed a bony hand into the space at the back of his knee. Falling Dean twisted around grabbed the offending creature finding no better way to be rid of it then toss it at the other end of the room to hear it squeal as it flew headlong into the mantle.

She managed to get up onto her hands and knees, trying to crawl where she heard movement but there was so much movement that she couldn't discern what was Dean and what wasn't. Donnie squeaked when a blanket fell on top of her and felt like it was being weighed down on the edges. Underneath her eyes opened and she found the faerie that had touched her last night and she swatted at it like it was a fly before it rested on her forehead and...She preferred not to think about it while it happened.

Screaming she kicked and punched but the blanket wouldn't lift and shaking her head the faerie came off and danced down her body to her legs where she immediately squeezed her thighs shut. "Oh no you don't. You are one sick and perverted faerie."

Donnie shoved her hand to her left and the blanket flew upwards, flicking the faerie from her private area below she stood ready for attack to see Dean dealing with his own issues. Hurrying over to him and helping she managed to get that far until she grew a confused expression on her face. Her hand lifted to her neck where a tiny needle was sticking out. Removing it she looked at it and then at Dean, him turning blurry she fell hard onto the floor while little giggles fluttered in the room.

"Donnie!" Dean exclaimed shaking one of the little naked faeries off of him to run towards the fallen witch.

One of the faerie darts whizzed by his ear, Dean dodged to the left when another came too close for comfort. Some of the faeries began to dance around while others reload their weapons with sly grins. Dean didn't know what to do so he reached for his gun on the coffee table, turned off the safety, thumbed back the hammer and started to shoot. At first they didn't take the threat too seriously until Dean pegged off two within the span it took for the gun to reload, what remained were black smudgy splats on Bobby's wooden floor and an acrid burned wood vapor in the air.

Scurrying madly the wee folk ran about screaming, some flitting about in circles like confused moths. An angry sprite made a bee line for Dean's head but her determined charge was cut short when Sorcha barreled into the room from hearing the gunshot leaping several feet in the air to catch the bite sized critter. Her jaws clamped down on the sprite, which forced a death shriek out of the small creature that was surprisingly loud, her gossamer wings spasming and twitching like a squashed insect's.

Another chomp and Sorcha was swallowing the limp faerie, one of its delicate translucent wings breaking off and twirling to the ground to rest silently. The remaining Fae, those that had thus far made themselves known, halted shocked and appalled that one of their own had been devoured so mercilessly by such a savage beast. Many ran for cover shooting faerie darts to conceal their retreat.

888

Sam startled awake at the gunshots and the fighting. He could still feel the fox's hand on his and he stared at his thoughtfully. She was concerned about him. She cared for him and he cared for her in turn. Bringing his orbs up to the ceiling he listened to hear the commotion more clearly and Bobby intervening. He would very much like to know what was going on but he didn't get a chance to as he closed his eyes and thought. A hand on his chest, slowly coming from his navel upwards made him think he was dreaming again and that it was the fox. All he had to do was open his eyes. Opening them he lolled his head to the right to stare at her. It wasn't the fox.

Jerking away from her, Sam blinked furiously begging her to go away with just the blinks. "You aren't real. You aren't here."

The red head frowned pulling her hand away from Sam's retreating form and resting it on her thigh, her very naked marble pale thigh. She traced the delicate blue vein of her inner leg with a long nail, her other hand holding up a thin white sheet similar to the one on the cot in the room. With a blink her eyes were their beautiful normal green with a warm glow to them, love, compassion everything Von possessed towards Sam was there. All the trueness and purity that was Von sat there across from Sam gazing at him with forest green orbs, silent, patient yet enticing. It was a cruel game to play with Sam but in the eyes and heart of the apparition before him he deserved no less than to have his heartbreak upon thousands of thousands of pieces.

He watched her watching him and he cautiously scrutinized before stepping forward. Sam had to try this because she wasn't real. Simple as that. Growling he pounced on her and snapped in her face with his eyes shut, hoping to find her gone and him just hovering on the floor like he was doing push-ups. Opening his eyes there wasn't anything there. Sam was relieved only to lose his grip when she reappeared underneath him. Sam's body fell fully onto hers and he quickly fell off to the side after realizing what had happened and curling in on himself. "Leave me alone. I'm going crazy, you aren't real. I'm hallucinating. It's just withdrawal symptoms. It's just that..."

888

Bobby had woken up way early and had come down the stairs to find Donnie and Dean asleep on the couch. He had smiled from seeing the image because it was nice that Dean was starting to move on. The boy had been through a lot with Alex and Donnie was good for him even though Bobby didn't know her that much he could just tell. He had of course gone out to do some work on some cars before coming in. The closer he got the more he could hear gunshots. Rushing into his home he entered the study to find Sorcha snapping at things that weren't there and looking like she was eating stuff too.

Donnie was on the floor out cold and Dean was shooting in his study at his house, at his stuff with bullets, leaving a few holes in things. Storming up to Dean when he knew that Dean knew he was there, Bobby took the gun from the hunter's hand and clicked the safety, holding it away from the Winchester. "Jus' what do ya think yer doin'? And don't say shootin', I can see that and I'm not happy 'bout walkin' in seein' and hearin' what I jus' did."

Bobby watched as Dean looked around the room obviously confused and at the same time like he had won something before going to the unconscious Donnie to pick her up and place her on the couch so he could look her over. The elder went to his desk, opening a drawer and putting the gun inside, locking it as he sat down and brought his attention to Sorcha who looked like she got back hunting something good. Bobby stared hard as if to not encourage behavior for Dean, then drifted his orbs to the very hunter waiting for an explanation.

"Faeries," Dean blurted and scanned the room for any of the offensive creatures, none could be found, as it appeared that they had left for the time being. No doubt to return to harassing them with hands that were small and grabby. "God damn faeries Bobby!" Dean said it again as the expression on the elder hunter's face told him he either hadn't heard or he had and didn't believe a damn word that was coming out of Dean's mouth.

Kneeling down Dean gathered Donnie in his arms finding her still breathing he let out a small-relieved sigh before laying her on the couch. Sorcha sniffed around, snuffling under every dusty corner and coming up with nothing but a huge dust bunny sneeze for her efforts. Growling with frustration she sat next to Dean who was standing by the couch asking Bobby what he knew about the Little Folk, how to kill them with as much deadly force as possible mostly.

He was dumbfounded. Normally someone bring up the lore of Faeries and doesn't think they are sane. Of course, with everything there goes to say that he didn't honestly believe that they couldn't exist because from what he had experienced on hunts and others, he doubted there wasn't a thing in the world that wasn't alive. Bobby explained what he knew from basic reading and tried to decipher how he out of all the hunters, could have a faerie problem pop out of nowhere. Normally some Fae from lore lived in forests, some in other realms that had to be conjured up and sometimes those realms couldn't but shut from this world.

Picking up a book after standing and going on the search for it, he brushed it off and flicked through pages till he found what he was looking for. The hunter handed it over to Dean to gander at. "There is plenty lore on faeries Dean. Some are different and some are the same but there are different levels of Fae, like the Unseelie and the Seelie, dark and light courts. Two kingdoms that sort of rule over and faeries can pretty much differ from any shape, size and appearance. One thing that the lore states continuously, is that ya have to be faerie touched or shown by someone faerie touched to see 'em. And the showin' can get pretty gory by means of feedin' the blind average person who can't see them, Fae."

A beat.

"Animals can see things humans can't, so I can dismiss Sorcha. How the two of ya got faerie touched..." Bobby let it hang, then stopped. "The hunt I came back from. That would make sense but the only problem is ya don't see me seein' the damn Fae. If they are here, they usually like to cause mischief. As for gettin' rid of them...I ain't no expert but I can guarantee it ain't gonna be a cake walk. Now, as far as I'm concerned," Bobby took a small pause as he patted his leg for Sorcha to follow him, "Ya will be usin' no guns to kill em'. No shootin' what _I_ can't see in my house and leavin' holes. Ya might want to look into Iron and keepin' some salt on ya. Some Fae though from what I can tell don't react to salt for countin', some just ignore it."

The elder moved over to where Donnie was lying after taking up a medical kit from a desk drawer and checked for pulse, checked her eyes with a flashlight while she was unconscious. Forehead and then he looked at Dean.

"What exactly did happen to Donnie? Ya never really explained that," he said, "So far from what I can tell she's just sleepin' off what would look to me like a tranquilizer of some sort. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that's what happened?" His attention drew back to the red head as he heard her start to stir a bit and rolled onto her side to get comfortable as she blinked tired eyes.

"Bobby?" Donnie asked confused, then sat up fast as she frantically looked around. No sign of the faeries.

"It's okay kid, calm down. Stay sittin', the dosage ya got served wasn't that big but it's best to wait a bit for the world to come back. I'll get ya some water." He stood as Sorcha followed, he grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and headed back, twisting the cap, handing it over and letting her drink before exhaling. "Ya will be alright. Dean take her upstairs and if ya need to lock the door when ya two are in a room. Don't come out unless I knock. I'm gonna head back to work but I'll give a few calls to see about takin' care of this faerie problem."

Goddamn faeries. They were swamped with enough problems and now added to the lengthening noose was Tinkerbell and her buddies. The world was ending; didn't they have better things to do? Dean was watching over Donnie in the room that used to be Alex's. She was doing fine as far as being groggy went, but no worse for wear from what they could tell. Whatever the faeries used was meant to keep Donnie down and out long enough to transport her to Never, Never Land which according to all the stories didn't take that long to do.

Luckily Sorcha's eating and Dean's shooting scared the creepy little bastards off and Dean hadn't seem then for the last couple of hours. Didn't mean they weren't around, lurking and scheming with their tiny ass hands. Sam had quieted down as well and Bobby checked to make sure he was still breathing, which he was while he cried silently in the corner. Whatever had been bothering him had the decency to back off at least until it decided to terrorize the young man at some other point. Bobby had returned to the yard keeping his cell at his side and Sorcha as well to alert him of further disturbances. He was only out for a minute before he was back inside and on the phones; the Winchesters weren't the only ones that needed help.

Dean had left him at it; the elder would let him know if anything was worth knowing with Sam or the outside world. He had eyes on Donnie, when they weren't staring thoughtfully out the bedroom window at the cold world and the melting snow. In no time it would be spring, if there was still a planet to have a spring on. Dean hoped so, spring gave way to summer his favorite time of year when all the hot chicks came out with hardly much on to keep them from public indecency just the way Dean liked it. Keeping a sigh inside all to himself he drew his attention back to the room, it beat a hospital because it had character to it not white washed and Clorox clean to hide its past. No, it had dirt and dust, peeling paint and it was probably the most unsanitary room within a two hundred mile radius, but it was home.

Donnie kept drinking the water from the bottle and finally set it aside. She didn't want to have to use the bathroom so she stopped. She knew Dean was thinking and she couldn't just sit there. Swallowing she stood and headed to her duffel, she needed pants, she needed a new shirt on and she was pretty sure she needed new panties on as well. Might as well change the bra too. But they couldn't leave the room till Bobby said and so when she had her items and moved to the bed she stared at the clothes there and what little she had on her body.

"Dean...about this morning...not with the faeries but..." she exhaled and shook her head. "Never mind, forget it. Just, I need to change so um. I..."

_I wanna know where we stand._

"Can you kind of look away? I mean it probably sounds stupid to ask because you have seen all this and more, but we're friends." Seeing that he understood and turned she closed her eyes, thinking how much of an idiot she was and trying to soak in any kind of emotions she was feeling.

Her fingers going to the hem of her shirt she lifted, removing and setting it on the bed. Unhooking her bra while the world still felt a little funny from the after effects of whatever she got hit with in those dart...needle things. Quickly she put on her other one and the new pair of panties, rolling the purple V-neck sweater over her head and pulling on the denim shorts. Taking up the discarded things she went to her duffel and then tapped on Dean's shoulder to tell him he was fine to turn around.

A smile that said thanks when really inside she was hating herself. Friends. She had called them friends. But they were friends, that's all they were. Donnie turned around and headed back to her duffel, to sit on the floor and just sort things out. It was what she did when she was thinking, needed a distraction and even using her abilities to let some things sort them out themselves as she watched spaced out. To think that her and Dean could have something more than that one time, than that one kiss the other night was stupid and foolish. Donnie knew that. But she couldn't help but set her hopes up only to get them shattering down. Just friends. They were just...

Blinking she furrowed her brows and while things were moving out of the way with her abilities she was moving things with her hands as well, worry lacing her heart. "No. No, no, no. It can't be," she broke off, it wasn't there. Feeling Dean come up beside her and ask her what was wrong she looked him in the eyes and then saw it underneath the bed, plain and simple.

Ignoring Dean, she crawled on the floor towards it, not caring if she gave him a good view of her denim clad ass in the shorts, but she arched her back like a cat and let her body go under the bed. Her songbook was under the bed, she wasn't thinking how it got there only that it was there and she needed it. She needed to write, needed to make a new song and get lost into it so then she didn't get sucked into her thoughts and feelings and let them show to the one she didn't want them to be visible to. Reaching she knew Dean was wondering what she was doing and before she could think straight, her hand closed around it with a smile.

Something tugged her along with the book and she slid completely under the bed except for Dean's hands on her leg. Donnie was determined to get her songbook but there was something different about the underside of the bed where she was being pulled. It almost looked like the air in front of her face was off, swirling, not really right with reality and she tilted her head, her will to fight against it gone as she was kind of stunned by the sight. Another tug and she slid through feeling what felt like moss on her skin and Dean was still with her. How did he get pulled in too? Clutching her song book to her chest as she turned and lay on the moss flooring, staring up at what appeared to be many trees and homes with fluttering and crawling things.

"All I wanted was my songbook so I could write songs..." she breathed, glancing at Dean, her orbs trailed past him up two legs of a very attractive female faerie with wings as she grew from tiny to human size, smiling with sharp teeth and blond hair and pink flower petal lashes. If anything Donnie would never have found an interest in her but felt a bit smitten at the sight and she smiled back, her hand hitting Dean's arm as she pointed. "Isn't she beautiful?" But when Dean looked and Donnie watched him she knew he wasn't as smitten as she was he was looking at her like she was any hot female instead of the most amazing woman on the planet.

_I've only been with one woman before, that was Alex and that was a drunk accident though Alex would testify that it was also help to get a guy off her back and it was in the end. Alex and I still found some attraction towards other women after that but loved men way more. But god...this one...I think I'm in love._


	20. Chapter 20

**Note:**** Sorry we have been kind of slow on updating. We both got sick, Wynter with a cold and Tori (me) with sinus. So we haven't really been writing for a good 8 days. I mean we posted one post each but that took us time to do lol we were so crappy feeling and fogged in the brain from illness. But alas here is a new chapter, we are still going to be slow on updating because we need to get better and into the groove of posting more in the day. But still hold out! Still going! Hope you enjoy!**

**Oh! And...**

**WARNING:** _FULL story Rated M for language, sex and violence._

Dean saw the faerie and had to give her props for being pretty damn good looking what he didn't understand was Donnie's sudden attraction to the creature there was something way off about that. Scanning the area Dean ticked his gaze over to Donnie who was still staring blissfully at the faerie, was he the only one that was aware they'd been taken off to Wonderland. There were things fluttering and crawling around that Dean had never seen before and he had seen a lot of things in his life any minute he was expecting the flowers to swarm him and start talking to him.

It was a heap of relief when that never wound up happening but that never stopped Dean from being over cautious, especially when the blonde faerie approached them her smile widening to reveal her fangs. The sight sent chills down his spine and he grabbed Donnie to haul her to her feet. "C'mon this place is one too many drops of acid," he insisted then found himself to be struggling to pick her up. Confusion scrunched his face and he stared down at Donnie perplexed, that was it he was taking them both out of here whether she liked it or not.

Feeling Dean try and take her something took over, something that had been in that dart that wasn't just to put her to sleep and she turned to look at Dean not happy as her eyes swirled red and amethyst. "I am not leaving," Donnie grabbed his wrist and twisted it from her body to cause pain and the other hand went to his throat to bring him closer to her.

The blond faerie smiled and giggled, clapping her hands together as she tip toed over playfully and placed her hands on Donnie's shoulders, resting her chin on one as she stared from Donnie's face to Dean's. "This is fun. Donnie, you can let him go now," her voice floated out happily.

Donnie released Dean and her eyes shut tiredly, opening she was normal but she turned to face the faerie eager to be touched and be hers, she hadn't even realized that she had dropped her song book onto the earth floor until the faerie picked it up.

"Can you do something for me?" she asked, tilting her head to the side as others gathered around and took hold of Dean, she moved forward and looked at him her orbs shining like inhuman blue pollen as she met Donnie's lips. Pulling back she began to flip through the book. "I want you to sing until you die, though I don't want that beautiful voice to waver so you'll be given fluids to keep it going but no food and no sleep. Do you think you can do that Donnie?"

Seeing her nod at her she watched the hunter be tied and securely done before she tucked her wings into her back, almost disappearing for the meantime as she moved over to Dean where he was on the tree when Donnie began to sing. Smiling at him she giggled as she touched him and he moved his head out of the way in disgust.

"Hm. You are probably wondering why you two. There's not really too much of a reason besides that friend of yours Bobby crushed a few of our homes and disturbed them greatly. That's a big, huge offense to my kind of faerie. Do you understand Dean? Having fun and teaching a lesson." Her giggle made others giggle and she twirled a little, her form going back to small and her hair was no longer blond but instead finely woven white flower stems from scalp to breasts. Fluttering in Dean's face she wondered what to do to this one. Humans were so stupid to her that it was easy to capture them and tease. "Oh Donnie, why don't you stop singing for a moment and come over here. I want you to," she giggled in mid-sentence as if the thing she was going to say was too good and off limits before continuing. "Give Dean a special present to make him feel good. Remember?" The red head stared at the tiny faerie with worry, of course she remembered. Donnie felt like she really wanted to please the faerie though and she went onto her knees and began to undo Dean's jeans.

"Donnie," Dean pleaded feebly trying to maneuver out of hands reach, it was no use he was tied fast to the tree and the red head wasn't easing up on taking off his pants and boxers at the same time. His lower half totally exposed Dean felt completely vulnerable and did his very best not to show it. "Donnie, Don-" he lost his breath at the first contact of the warm wetness of her mouth encasing him. Gently sucking she worked him to his full while he still tried to get through to her to get her to stop, he didn't want this he didn't want anything close to this. "I'm goin' to ki-kill you," he threatened through a hitched breath molten jade orbs glowering at the tiny faerie that was flitting in front of him.

She giggled and he spat at her, the glob of saliva almost as large as the faerie was. Dean laughed before his body tensed up and his eyes fluttered then he shook it off and tried to think through the haze of endorphins Donnie's work was pumping through his system. The tiny flying bitch probably wasn't too happy that she was covered in Winchester spit but the extra weight had her buzzing around on the grass like a wet fly sticky with soda pop. Dean would give anything to be able to squash her with his boot and wipe her sparkly smear on a tree root.

"Donnie, Donnie c'mon, you don't wanna be doing this," Dean pressed through his teeth and swallowed hard when another heavy breath threatened to escape. He struggled against the tree, eyes closing tight, not seeing that the other faeries had circled closer and that the ringleader was back on her wings.

Bobbing her head back and forth while her hand worked him as well, her eyes closed and then flitting up to Dean who was staring down at her while he spoke. Donnie went down the shaft with her mouth and held him there for a while as she tried not to gag before sliding back away. Releasing him from her mouth she licked the underside and then his balls before flicking the tip with her tongue. "Don't stop till he cums."

Donnie felt a jerk to her heart and she was starting to think a little clearer but she couldn't ignore the faerie's influence. Swallowing she would not have minded doing this to Dean if this wasn't the circumstances but it was and she could herself get hot from it which made her feel embarrassed. Going back to sucking and jacking him off, she ignored his words and focused on his reactions and the task at hand. Seeing the head faerie that she had felt infatuated with come in front of her face and standing on Dean's dick while Donnie worked him, something was puffed into her eyes and she immediately closed them from them landing on her eyeballs and quickly opening she found a new found lust in her as she got into what she doing even giving a little moan with him still in her mouth.

The faerie smiled and giggled, before looking down at her frame that still felt disgusting, she looked up from her position on Dean and glared, instantly it switched to mischief when she began to hop up and down. "What the fuck?" Dean exclaimed with an expression on his face to match, the faerie was fucking nuts. "Get off me!"

He thrust hard into Donnie's mouth causing her to choke and fall back on her ass but not before the faerie was squished between himself and Donnie's lips. This was sick and perverted and Dean wanted off this ride and he wanted his gun in his hand so he could shoot all the lecherous little fucks. He strained against the ropes but they would not budge, when one faerie fluttered too close Dean spat at it and sent it reeling into a tree with a surprised squeak. Dean knew he would only be able to spit so many times before that supply of ammo went out, at least it gave him some gratification in the vulnerable position he was in.

"Don't you ass clowns have anythin' better to do, the worlds one field goal away from Judgment Day and you're dicking around with my dick?"

Donnie laid on the ground, her hand wiping the faerie off her and she heard a different faerie take control as the other one had died on impact of being squished and she felt her body sit right up abruptly and she stared at Dean as she began to cry. She couldn't stop the tears, this time it was what was being whispered into her head that was tearing her heart out and she brought her legs up. That very faerie wasn't small instead he was human size and he was kneeling behind her as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms for comfort while he kissed her neck as she cried.

Another faerie stepped around the tree, her hair a long mess of vines and poison Ivy, orbs a sunset and her dimples were thorns while the lips were as red as a red rose. "You're world isn't our world. This is our world; we create dimensions to go from Faerie to Human. Judgment Day just happens to be something that has piqued our interest yet we do not care. Would you rather Dean if we dicked around with your friend here? Nivian," the female spoke, her orbs the only thing looking at the corner as if she could see the other Fae.

The male named Nivian whispered into Donnie's ear and as she continued crying, she stared at Dean before being turned to the side, forced on her knees a look of need that has never been on her face as Nivian unsheathed himself and directed into her mouth. The red head didn't want to do this anymore, the influence was controlling her but she could still think for herself and she began to suck off Nivian while Dean watched.

_Wake up. This has to be a bad dream. I need to wake up. But this is too real._

"Iivya is my name. I for one did not choose to open that dimension into your world Dean. None of us did, but now that it's open we can have all the fun we want. After we serve you back to Bobby like drained Fae touched human beings no better than vegetables begging for emotion, touch...what you see and have felt now. We will leave in peace back to our homes we have made here and in your world. We can be considerate after we play."

"Leave her alone!" Dean barked viciously at Nivian who only returned his order with a wide grin and a hand on Donnie's head to direct her. Tearing his eyes away he locked gazes with Iivya cringing at the sounds coming from his left peripheral. "When I get out of here I'm gonna peel every last inch of your skin off piece by piece." Dean worked the ropes but he could not get to the knife in his back pocket, all he was earning was some wicked rope burn that was on the verge of breaking through his skin. The bark of the tree was digging into his ass and he was sure he'd be breaking the tweezers out to take care of some nasty slivers when the day was through.

Iivya raised her brows and she stared at Dean head to toe and even lingering on his exposed penis before bringing her eyes to Dean's. She was not one to giggle but she actually laughed, the poison ivy in her hair becoming the color of orange and red from the amused laughter before she patted Dean's cheek and stepped back to watch the show. Nivian had his hands on the back of Donnie's head as he thrust his hips forward, not caring if she choked or not, his eyes all the while on Dean as he grinned. Donnie on the other hand was still crying despite the look of need and she hated how everything was watching her just so they could mess up minds.

Hands pushing her back and hard onto to the moss flooring, Donnie tried to catch her breathing and didn't get far when her pants were removed with her panties and next thing she felt was a tongue in between her legs which made her breathing hitch and her head roll to the side. Seeing Dean she gave him the look that said she wanted him to help, now she couldn't tell right now because it was mixed with the meaning of rescue and also she wanted him help and instead be the one to be doing this to her. Donnie moaned. She had heard one thing about the fae that was scaring her now. That sex with some could drive the one mad for nothing but sex, but she wasn't feeling that because this faerie wasn't that level.

"Dean..."

The name left her lips on the next moan and she writhed, crying and she could hear many giggles and many sighs. Her attention went to the other things around them and she brought her hands to her face to hide behind them while she reacted to everything. Something was building inside, but she couldn't tell what exactly and her hands moved to push the faerie off but found she was keeping him there, kneading into what would be his hair except it was what she imagined silk worm thread to feel like with the look of a spiderweb.

Iivya traced a finger along Dean's erection that still had yet to fully go away and she grasped it, slowly working the piece of meat. "You humans enjoy watching sex no matter if it's televised or in front of you. Maybe we will leave you be, you are reacting far better than thought and what better lesson to learn than to have to deal with than what you can't stop?"

Dean's head fell back against the tree with a thud but it was nothing compared to the sensation of the faerie woman's hand. It wasn't a human feeling and Dean was disgusted by it even when his body had other ideas. Every muscle in his body tensed with repulsion. "Don't touch me bitch!" Dean spat in her face lunging at her yet coming no closer than a quarter of an inch the temptation coming to spit at her, which was the only thing he could do. "Fuck," he cried when his hips moved into her hand of their own volition, with Donnie he had done better to ignore it, with the faerie touch his body could do no better.

He concentrated on the fact that when he did get free, and he would, he was going to kill every last one of them in very painful ways. Dean couldn't let this bitch get to him, he couldn't, why couldn't he psychic punch his way out of this like that freak spurt back at the barn when Sam was after Donnie? He didn't want to be a psychic freak of nature but he was willing to do anything to get himself out of this mess. The faeries didn't want anything so there was no way to bargain with them, they just wanted to hurt them for something that Bobby accidentally did and Bobby was protected so they couldn't get to him. And there was no way to protect them, because they were already faerie touched, prevention was the cure.

Donnie couldn't stop arching and moaning, her body wanting to rise up against another and she found no sort but the faerie's face down below. Her eyes were not on the faerie though as she was watching Dean and she wanted him. She could tell that Nivian noticed her attentions on the hunter and that was when she rose up. Donnie was fighting so hard, that thing building up inside her was her anger and her power and she plunged her hand forward to the man's chest, not inside but against and she watched him jerk and foam at the mouth. Her eyes red and amethyst, Donnie was not going to be used as a sex toy anymore and neither was she going to let Dean be put through it with a Fae.

Standing once he was dead and white eyed on the moss floor, she pulled up her pants and panties and stalked to where Dean was tied. Snapping her fingers the ropes were gone and the rest of the creatures swarmed at her. A bark came and soon Sorcha was even there, which meant to her that Bobby had come to tell them that he had something and Sorcha currently knew where they were. Donnie laid her hands on anything that touched her and they reacted in the same violent death that Nivian did and just as the killing was getting out of hand that was when they had Iivya cornered scared for her life.

Iivya raised her hands and fell to the ground against a tree and stared up at Donnie when she went to reach out for her to kill her and when Dean was going to act as well. "WAIT! Please. Don't kill me! I won't...we won't hurt you. We'll leave you alone. Go, just go. Please. There aren't that many of us left in our world and yours combined. We only were in your world this time because _he_had someone open our dimension. For what I don't know but please. That's all I know. I'd rather live, you close the dimension than have to worry about your devil and god."

The red head lowered her hand and she stared for a few moments before she turned and walked away, not caring if Dean followed or not. Sure this faerie had tried to harm them as well as the rest but she would spare this one. She pitied this one. Finding the direction where the worlds met in a off-putting design she crawled through and out from under the bed where sure enough there was Bobby standing in front of her looking down at her like she popped out of Wonderland or something.

When Dean came out behind her she stood with him and looked at the elder. "Tell me you know how to close a faerie dimension." As for a good long while she wasn't sure how she could be around Dean, worried that what had transpired would make him completely go away from her. Knowing that Bobby had found out a lot of stuff from his source, they finally closed it up and made sure the house was rid of them. They were fine. Donnie allowed Bobby to go back downstairs before she stood still in the room for a second.

_Dean get your eyes off my back. I know you are thinking of what happened and if I'm okay or something._

Not waiting for him to speak she didn't know where her feet were carrying her, she had lost her songbook, yet all her songs were still in her head forever marked. One moment she was standing the next she was in the bedroom closet shutting the door with her hands covering her face as if she could hide in the darkness. She had embarrassed herself and she had been mind fucked and molested by faeries. Dean wasn't any better but his experience consisted of a simple touch from that one and a blowjob from Donnie.

_I've ruined everything._

888

**March 18th, 2009 8:46AM  
>Bobby Singer's House<strong>

It was like a game of chicken without the rush, Dean would look at Donnie when she looked away, he didn't want to be completely out of sight of her and he could only begin to understand how she was feeling about what happened to her. That she had to cope with being molested by faeries was Dean's fault, if he wasn't a completely selfish bastard and dragged her into their mess she would have been off gigging at some bar making money, not being chased by a messed up werewolf and tongue fucked by The Good Folk. To tell her she had to go now, leave and never come back because something far worse could happen to her would have been the worse thing to do given how Donnie was doing. She wouldn't speak about it and neither would Dean but he knew what was going through her head just like he was sure she knew what was going on in his.

The hunter spent most of his time since he got back from Faerie Land cleaning his guns and keeping Sorcha in shape when she wasn't out running errands with Bobby. As for Sam whatever had been bothering him had been absent for the past two days unless he had become extremely good at hiding his crazy from everyone. Dean kept his mind as blank as possible but it often bounced between concerns for Donnie and Sam having long since trained himself to have little thought or care for his own well being. The happiness and health of others mattered more than his own, if his loved ones were okay than he could get by.

But the ones he cared for most were not okay, he had brought Donnie into this crap, Sam was more messed up than ever, Von no, not Von, Astarte was loose on the world. So no, Dean was not doing so well as far as keeping it together went, he had to do it anyway there was no other choice, be the good soldier keep everyone else up and marching on. Wiping his hand on his brow Dean sniffed and set the item down he had been tinkering with to take a drink of his coffee naturally laced with some cheap rum to take off the edge of being conscious.

Being unconscious was hardly any different just more twisted shit that his subconscious threw at him that had no way into his real life. Hearing a single footstep on the stairs Dean looked up from his work and listened. It wasn't the first step, sounded more like the middle, someone was trying to be quiet in the early morning and he'd let them have that, he was busy anyway with his guns and then he had to check on Sam.

Wincing at the stairs she continued down them. It had been hard with what she had gone through and dealing with it after. Donnie continued down them and ran her hand through her hair as she hid behind it slightly when she entered the kitchen for whiskey and a muffin that Bobby had taken into account on getting when he made a store run in town. She didn't want to go upstairs yet, she wanted to eat and she moved into the study without saying a word to the hunter there. Taking a pull and some of the muffin to eat she began to look around the study for anything that appeared to be a notebook to write her songs in. She needed them written down so then she could never forget them. She also needed to write more.

What she really needed was a piano. Donnie stopped in her search, finishing the small muffin part she had torn off and then paused. The first time to speak to the male she went to open her mouth and turn around when she heard Dean stand up from finishing what he was doing and walk away. Walk towards the basement stairs and she exhaled. She had tried so hard to talk to him, she wanted to get past this and each time she did she couldn't stop the flashes of that faerie forcing himself on her and head in between her legs. Her mouth over Dean's lower appendage and she swallowed hard, her throat tightening up.

When Dean came back up she would be talk to him, not about what happened but to go with her somewhere to kind of just hang out as friends. Get lost into something that wasn't silence and thoughts. She wanted to take him to a place where she felt like nothing could harm her and everything was fine again even if only for an hour or two. Donnie wanted to play for Dean and just play but he knew the town better than she did, so he would know where to go.

888

Sam had waited. He had heard a lot of things going on and then there was barely anything upstairs. Something had happened and he could almost smell the tension in the air, the guilt, the pain...Von had visited him but she had sort of stopped after a couple minutes of popping up. He was dealing. Ignoring and trying to focus on getting back to being himself. Obviously his brother needed him to be all right, Bobby did and damn it Sam did himself. He realized the more he was down here and something was wrong the more he was putting on Dean's shoulders and conscience. Once the footsteps came down the stairs and the door open, Sam was waiting on the cot wearing actual boxers and pants this time thanks to Bobby. Socks, shoes and shirts were out of the question. Sam was just getting used to being back in normal clothes.

"Hey Dean." He didn't know what else to say. "Man you look like you were ran over by a bus and then some." Sam stared at Dean with confusion and worry. What had exactly happened to his big brother while he was fucked up with getting over the urges of being a werewolf? What happened while he was seeing hallucinations of Von?

"Yeah, and then some," replied Dean with a detectable twinge of his patented sarcasm.

The worry in Sam's eyes had Dean's orbs glued, could it be that it was genuine, Dean was convinced down to his core and this was the first time in as many days that he saw a glimpse of the real Sam. Swallowing the worry that the wolf would stalk up and swallow Sam back down Dean took a step closer to the door but remained behind the magickal ward. He was pretty sure but he needed to be really pretty sure.

"How are you feeling? I see you've remembered how to wear pants," Dean teased letting Sam know he wasn't trying to think to hard on the horrible way his brother had acted. A little bit of forgiving but no forgetting, they were brothers Dean would never be able to hate Sam, trust may have been fractured and Dean may want to kick his ass to the ends of the earth but he would never hate Sam.

Sam inhaled and nodded, "I'm doing better. Had a little bit of a reality check. Just be glad I remember how to button and zip I spent a couple minutes rewiring that knowledge," he chuckled a little, and then stood, running his hand through his hair. Looking at the area where meat had been thrown when he had been out of it, and there was one there now because of Bobby and he actually wasn't hungry for it. "Hey um...can I...can I have some _normal_food? I may have different taste buds I'm not favoring the slabs. Like a burrito or a salad if all possible?" His stomach growled at the thought of something healthy and human.

_Damn, it sounded like a hollow tank._

"Make that two salads and a burrito..." he rubbed his stomach to quiet it. "And a shirt? I might like being free but I'm itching for cover." He gave a silent message to his brother about hurting him when he had tossed him that day. He said so many apologies in that one look knowing that his brother understood. Sam was thankful that he did have someone there for him to help him, he knew that if he didn't he might be way too far-gone way before now.

"Yeah, sure." A smile showed up on Dean's face for a brief second before he turned around to get Sam the things he needed. Sam was having his ups and downs, one minute he was a raging lecherous lunatic and the next he was asking for salad, a damn salad to curb his appetite.

_A werewolf asking for a salad, only if it were Sam..._

Dean shook his head as he ascended the steps and opened the basement door to be on the main floor. Dean questioned whether Sam would struggle to be more human than he was like he had been, it never worked out for him and he always wound up lapsing into violent animalistic fits. Wasn't he supposed to be some perfect blend of man and beast? Instead it came and went, Sam's bipolar split personality disorder, right now he was his rational, gentle human side, so had he shoved down the beast, was it hiding or had Sam finally come to grips with what he was? Dean doubted that but he had Sam back right now, he would worry about the inevitable relapse later.

Finding his way to the kitchen the hunter rummaged around then he stood back from the fridge and rolled his eyes, of course Bobby wouldn't have any kind of fixings for salad. Vegetables in this house? This was no damn grocery store. "Sam's just gonna have to deal with no salad," Dean muttered to himself and went to search for the burritos he knew to be in the fridge freezer.

Beef and cheese, nothing fancy but it hit the spot when one was hungry enough and Sam was always hungry lately. Grabbing two he opened one side of the packaging on each and placed them in the microwave then set the timer to two minutes. If Sam was still hungry after these two there were three more in the freezer that he could have, good thing there wasn't anything extra in these burritos otherwise Sam would turn the panic room into a toxic gas chamber.

When Dean had come upstairs again, this time searching for food Donnie looked up to look. Maybe she wouldn't ask, apparently he was making something for Sam and that meant that things were doing better. She didn't want to get in the way of that. Writing a note after she had researched a place in town, an auditorium with a piano that was open at the High School. The name sounded familiar from something that Alex had reflected on years ago and she waved it off. It either would help her feel closer to Alex or it wouldn't, she needed the music. And as Dean went back downstairs with the heated burritos, she called the school to ask if she could use it even if it cost money to. But apparently the principal knew her music from vacationing and being at one of her bar gigs.

Leaving the note on the table for Dean to see where she was going she stared at it a moment. If Dean wanted to come he would but her chances were that he wouldn't. Sam was the reason, she understood. Sam was family and in a way Alex was family to Donnie and she would ignore everything and everyone, drop whatever shit and be there for her. Dean was that way with Sam. Donnie headed towards the door, thinking about how long it would take to walk there but it wasn't too bad of a walk what with Spring breaching the surface. Beginning her trek she absently played her fingers in the air at her waist as if she was playing the piano as her iPod sounded through the ear buds the lyrics to So I Thought by Flyleaf.

_'All your twisted thoughts free flow, to everlasting memories show soul. Kiss the stars with me and dread the wait for stupid calls returning to us to life. We say to those who are in love it can't be true 'cause we're too young. I know that's true because so long I was so in love with you. So I thought...'_

888

Coming to the door to get the cooked food from his older brother. A little disappointed with no salads there but he willingly took the burrito's and a T-shirt that Dean had scraped up no doubt from on top of the laundry machine that was clean and had yet to be brought upstairs to a dresser or duffel. Turning back with both items he went back to the cot, placing the shirt on and letting the burrito's cool down before digging in despite his massive hunger. "Thanks Dean." He heard the front door open upstairs and he knew that Dean did not. Bionic hearing, the only way that Dean could tell something happened upstairs was that Sam had brought his attention up like he was listening.

_Female. Donnie._

Bringing his attention back to his brother he could tell there was a difference in his brother that he had missed since he had found them at that farmstead. It involved Dean and Donnie but he couldn't figure it out. Normally he would be able to but so many things he didn't have the right to bring up or even the pieces to put together from stories exchanged on brotherly basis. Sam finally took up the plate of two burritos and about to take a bite out of one tentatively from the heat he paused and stared at his brother.

"You know you don't have to watch me every waking second. I think I can eat my burritos without feeling eyes on me as I do so. Dean, go. I can talk to you later, chill, relax. You look like you need it. If I need any more food I'll um...sing the words to Back In Black. I don't want you to let me out until I'm one hundred percent. I'm okay but I'm not one hundred just yet. Getting there."

"Letting you out was the furthest thought from my mind Sam," Dean replied. He hid the incredulity that Sam's ramblings left on him, what did he take him for telling him that he was the one that had to relax and take it easy and not to let the crazy wolf-boy out. "Bobby's out again for about the thousandth time, thing's have been really busy since...the last couple of days, I guess Lucifer's stepping up his game," Dean explained, "so I'm not going anywhere until there's another set of eyes to keep on you."

_You have no idea the other set of eyes on me Dean. Two pairs, one that I think I am hallucinating and the other is the one out there in the world waiting for me to say Yes._

Sam nodded and went to finishing up his food. He was hungry but he didn't want to eat any more food, he wasn't overly hungry which meant something. He was getting better, but he was worried that maybe that might not even be enough. Sam thought he had a handle on what he was but apparently Lucifer made him see that without the fox, with things not blocked from him and being what he really was...he was an animal. Not some human that had random outbursts of very violent anger, but the actual want to kill to get to someone...something...the want in general and the joy of making people fear him.

Hearing the start up tone of Dean's cell, he watched Dean answer it. It was Bobby. Everything was really busy and Sam could see that. He was a bump in the cycle of hunting, where he should be out there and not in here with problems. Learn to suck it up and get back in the game. It wasn't safe, not only for everyone else, the people he cared about or himself. The conversation on the other end was loud and clear in Sam's ears. Bringing the plate over to Dean just as he finished talking he already knew what was coming.

"Go. Bobby needs you and I'm not really going anywhere with the wards. At least give me my cell phone so that I'm not kept in the dark. I want to know what I can do or what is going on even though I'm not there. I'll be here when you get back...I promise. Trust me Dean please. I know that it's hard to even do that with me since I've crushed it so many times. Go."

Dean retrieved Sam's cell for him after making sure it was fully charged, in that time Dean found that Donnie was no longer in the house but had left to vent some steam. Throwing her a text updating her to the situation he also told her that everything here was locked down tight and where to find the spare key to let her into the house after he locked up. With that out of the way Dean packed his bags and loaded everything into the Impala, before he officially left he told Sam that if anything came up to give him a call without hesitating, It wasn't that it needed to be said but Dean needed to say it anyway, it was all hands on deck and Dean didn't know how long he would be gone for so he had to make sure that Sam remembered the rules when they were apart for any length of time.

"Behave yourself Sammy or I'll look into a doctor to get you neutered," Dean joked and then he was gone, the sound of the Impala's tires on loose gravel and wet dirt fading into the distance. Now Sam was all alone, with not a soul in the house.


	21. Chapter 21

**March 18, 2009 12:04PM  
>Bobby Singer's House<strong>

Trent had been watching the house since Dean and the unnamed red head returned with Sam, some might have confused the red head for Von but her hair and height were all wrong, as was her smell. The one detail that Trent could discern from her was that she was another witch, another red headed witch, he growled in distaste what did these people have, a sick fetish? He kept his distance and masked his scent; soon the opportunity would present itself for him to make his move. Bobby and Sorcha left, hours later it was the red head's turn to go and a while after that Dean left solo and took the Impala with him, which meant they left Sam in the house all by his lonesome. Trent needed to have a very serious discussion with Sam and he had the patience of a saint to prove it waiting till the scents of all parties were clear from the area before taking his first step from the bushes towards the house.

His movements were unnaturally graceful and light despite his evident condition from the large and more empty than full bottle of whiskey he gripped in his hand, it was the only thing he had to eat or drink in days. Entering into the house went surprisingly without incident and Trent neatly tucked his lock-picking kit into his jean pocket before closing the door, the hinges creaked and no amount of WD-40 would have been able to stop it. It was an unfortunate noise but it did not sway Trent from his purpose and he locked the door and sniffed his way around the house his body tensing when he could still detect the faint trace of Von's scent, memories of her making pained tears flush to his eyes that began to swirl leopard green from their gentle and wounded hazel-brown.

Finding the basement door was no hard task; Sam's musk was drenched all over the area and intensified when Trent opened the door to make his way down the wooden steps. The area was dark when he closed the door behind him and never went for the light switch, he could see as clearly as if it were day, stumbling slightly on the last step from his inebriation he corrected his balance and turned to face the heavy iron door. Trent stalked towards it having no need to set his bottle down to unlock the weighty mechanism one hand on the wheel would do the trick. The iron clinched, cranked and clanked giving out a dull thud before it was pulled open, grinding against itself until it was riding on it's own hinges and not the door jamb.

Sucking back on the bottle was his next step before he leaned hard against the iron side, feeling the magick ward prickling at his skin, so that was why he hadn't seen Sam in days he was trapped in here, been a bad, bad puppy. "Sam," Tren't voice was a harsh mixture of anger, drink and tears.

His vibrant green eyes were bloodshot and fever bright with fresh sorrow and his appearance matched the harsh unkemptness of his voice, it had been a slow spiraling descent ever since he heard of Von's death. He was covered with mud and blood that mingled with his own musk and he hadn't set foot in clean warm water ever since he caught wind of Sam in the area and had been following him since. His whole body shook with nerves, muscles twitching unable to fully relax even if he commanded them to. Trent stayed on the threshold of the room breathing in Sam more and more and feeling what remained of Von's magick pressing against his skin.

"Tell me...what _happened_ Sam, tell me what you did," Trent's voice was tight and cruel with the force to make it sound human and not animal, not some vicious pained cry to demand justice that Trent wanted. Justice that would put his own life in danger's path.

Sam hadn't even guessed who was coming, he just knew that someone was here and when he saw Trent, drinking and looking like he needed a serious bath and more. "Trent, I don't think you want to know what happened," he spoke, knowing instantly what the other animal was talking about. He was referring to Von. "I can't tell you, I can't forget it and I'd rather not relive it like I have been for nearly two months. If that is why you are here then maybe you should leave. You shouldn't be drinking either Trent, it's not good for what we are."

He knew he went to far but he needed to tell Trent that he couldn't tell him. In fact he didn't want to. Telling him would break him more and probably anger him more and with the drinking his judgment might already be over the border than what it should be. Sam wondered why Trent was more in a hole and why he was late on the draw on coming to find out about Von. He wasn't sure what the right move was right now, he was cautious as he kept eyes on the wereleopard and placed it so he was a good distance, at the ready and he swore he heard a giggle flit around him but he dared not to look, and he knew that Trent didn't hear it. No, it was his hallucinations again.

Trent's eyes narrowed into glowing green slits as his lips pulled back into an inhuman growl that revealed sharp fangs and he moved into the room like a pissed off freight train headed right for Sam, the preppy son of a bitch was going to get more than a piece torn out of him. "Where do you get off lecturing me?"

The last word came out more as a roar and without warning he chucked the bottom heavy glass bottle at Sam's head. He had been a Were far longer than Sam had, he knew what he could and could not take and it pissed him off down to his core that Sam was taking this more lightly than he should have been. With something distracting the wolf the bottle struck his shoulder breaking on impact against the wall and with the further distraction Trent lunged towards Sam sparing no mercy on his attack. Elongated nails tore into Sam's chest, searching through meat and tendon to his ribs only to pull back and punch him three swift times in the sternum the force causing the bone to give a brittle popping sound.

Trent knew exactly what happened, he wanted to see if Sam would admit to it being his fault, Von was dead because of him and he had tried for the past two months to let it go but it only grew and hardened inside of him tearing him apart from the inside out until he couldn't take it anymore and all these years of being well behaved and not having a break down were set back to zero. Yanking Sam's head back with an angry fistful of hair Trent bit down into the other man's shoulder, sinking his fangs are far as they would go and chewing, tearing and swallowing the chunks of meat and hot blood that flowed into his mouth until he hit Sam's collar bone.

Sam's screams were a dull background noise to the pounding of his own heart in his ears and when he pulled up for air he drove his knee into Sam's groin to knock him onto his knees. Trent was boiling fever hot, tearing his clothes from his body to release some of the heat dropping to all fours while his spine rippled under his skin. Letting out a roar as it shifted back into place he pounced on top of Sam, knees landing simultaneously on Sam's kidneys he scratched off ribbons of the other man's flesh with his claws like a cat would with a scratching post.

His hands rose and faster than humanly possible, he inhaled, eyes amber, rolling them over so they were standing as he tossed Trent into the wall. Sam rushed at Trent and pushed his eyes back to normal while he punched, refusing to turn or show any form of his wolf self. He had just got out of that and he didn't want to fall again. It wasn't too much the matter that he might get lost completely, he could control it before, he was worried that he couldn't control it now...so soon. Punching upwards while his other hand held Trent's throat. The force of the punch making the pressure build upwards so Sam imagined his stomach feeling like it was in his mouth.

The tall hunter lifted and tossed. He needed tranquilizer darts and without thinking he ran to the door only to hit the invisible barrier and fall to the ground, rolling quickly and around an instinct for an animal to check on where the other one was. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lecture or talk down to you. But Trent...I am _not_ fighting you like you are fighting me. I'll fight with strength but I'm not going to stoop to that low that I was at. I killed...I killed three people and no one knows except you, I fell so deep. You don't know what I am going through! Sure you are going through pain," he said, growling as he countered Trent's next attack. "But I'm going through more of it. Do you know what is even going on in the world beyond the fact that Von was dead and yes it was fault. I don't dare think it wasn't. Lucifer if free and after me and now I'm hallucinating."

Miss of the nails and Sam twisted Trent's arm behind his back and broke the shoulder. Pushing him away and giving them space. He didn't want to hurt Trent and as he was healing from what Trent had done to him, but even so the breaking of his shoulder wasn't something he was happy about.

"I left Von at the motel when we all separated. I left her because I thought I was saving her. I thought I was saving everyone, so I went with a demon Ruby and I didn't think that she was using me and I know that now I should never have placed even a small bit of trust in her. When Von showed up at that convent, I didn't know that killing Lilith would set on the Apocalypse but do you realize that I didn't even think that Von would get to that convent to die? She wouldn't have died if I hadn't left, she wouldn't have died if she had found out where I was! It was my fault, my wrong decision. I have been haunted by that moment, watching her die and you weren't there so stop feeling so horrible about it. I fucked up and I fucking..."

Sam stopped, tears were now coming down his face and he looked away when he shouldn't have but he felt a hand on his cheek, turning towards the direction of Trent and a little off to the side and he was now looking at Von. Horror filled his eyes and he couldn't ignore her anymore. He was sorry; he couldn't stop whispering that as he fell to his knees on the floor, staring up at Von as she stared down at him. Trent wanted to know, he now knew and what with how Trent was, Sam wasn't sure he was sane enough to fend off the wereleopard. When Von reached out to him, her head tilted as watching on in amusement at his pain almost as if he was doing something cute or shy.

"Don't touch me," he pushed her hand away and he rushed at the wall to get away, she was gone when he looked back. "She's back. She's not dead anymore. You should know that but as you can see she isn't here. We don't know where she is."

Trent was hunched nursing his shoulder as it healed, which didn't take long at all, and while it healed he listened to Sam ramble on about his guilt and the details of Von's demise. Sam's admittance didn't make him feel any better about losing Von but there was no guilt in his attacks on the wolf, for Sam to say he hurt more than Trent only fanned the flames of his anger. This was Von he was talking about not Sam's stupidity for freeing Lucifer or that he was getting what he deserved by hallucinating about who knows what. He knew exactly what Sam was going through.

"I loved her." He stood and popped the mended shoulder back into place before striding over to Sam. "So go ahead and tell me how much greater your pain is compared to mine Sam, how your love means more than mine does!"

He grabbed the tall brunette without noticing Sam's attention was way off in left field, that he was seeing things that had not shown themselves to Trent's eyes. One thing was that he could smell the fear, Trent didn't know where it was coming from because despite his attacks he doubted Sam was afraid of him but it was there all the same. If Sam had any brains under all that hair he should have known to keep his mouth shut, every time he opened it there was some accusation that poor Sam was suffering more than Trent was. He loved Von with all of his being and he had kept his distance to keep her safe, what had Sam done to protect her, leave her in a motel room and hope that she wouldn't follow? If he cared for her at all he would have made the sacrifice of his own heart and pushed her away for her own good, Trent could see that Sam was selfish as well as self-righteous, always thinking he knew what was best.

Trent flung Sam across the room like he was a sack of potatoes, there was a twinge of sympathy for the wolf in his grief he had killed three people but an excuse was an excuse. Sam had no control over what he was, when Trent had heard the news he didn't go on a bloodthirsty rampage to quell his sorrows, he hadn't killed a single soul though he had a mind to kill Sam. Trent knew what he was and he had been able to tell right off the bat that Sam was constantly trying to separate himself into two sides when there was just one of him, wholly undisciplined. Halfway to Sam Trent stopped mid-stride, nostrils flared at the phantom scent of Von that wafted through the room like wildflowers. As soon as he picked it up it was gone, shaking his head he bridged the gap between Sam and him and laid his fist into Sam's head, grabbing him by the throat to stare deep into the blue-green eyes and the tear stained face with his own watery orbs.

"You can't tell me I loved her any less than you did." Fresh tears shook themselves loose from his lashes, he wanted to kill Sam, and he really wanted to, this was all his fault, every last horrible drop of it.

He could have killed him or at least come very close, they both could have died defending themselves from the other, bones were broken and blood painted the walls in vibrant splatters until it dried to a metallic brown. The fight raged on, whatever was left of the clothing they wore was ruined by blood and tears and both men lay there, so very close to the other, as they healed and rested emotions spent on the violently physical task of pounding the other into an inch of their lives. Trent cried quietly in his sleep while his brain tried to process that Sam had told him that Von was alive, she was back, Sam had never said how but that little bit of information was enough to send his unconscious mind reeling with numerous possibilities both frightening and wonderful.

Waking slowly Trent could hear the steady breathing of Sam as he too slept, exhausted from the exertion of stopping Trent from killing him. He turned on his side and watched Sam quietly, his heart still warring with sympathy and hate for the man who had not only gotten the love of his killed but had kick started the Apocalypse. Rolling onto his hands and knees with cat-like grace he approached Sam, scenting the air around him, the sharp smell of fresh blood filling his nostrils and his eyes landed on a nasty gash on Sam's chest that was taking it's time healing no thanks to Trent's precision work.

Would Sam mind one animal to another if Trent were to clean the wound as way of an apology? He wasn't so much in the mood to kill Sam right now the fight took that want out of him, now all he felt was hollow and numb and he couldn't make up his mind what was worse. Without realizing it Trent's face had drifted closer to the wound, lifting it up he checked to see if Sam was still asleep. Seeing he was, Trent went to sniff the laceration again, his tongue tentatively coming out to lick the edge of it. Two more slow gentle licks at the edge and Trent proceeded to drag his tongue across the length of it, collecting the blood on his tongue and swallowing as he brought his tongue down again to repeat with another slow gentle lick.

888

**3:12pm**

He wasn't sure what had really gone on after a while. Sam knew he was sleeping but the dream was more like a nightmare. Flashback to that day that he had left Von. Seeing everything he had seen in clarity and then he could suddenly see from Von's point of her. Her thoughts and feelings and then skipping to the moment of her death where Ruby killed her. A different scene popped into his head and he swore he saw a place, a nice place that wasn't all bad. It was a nice cottage in the woods, surrounded by lush greenery and flowers beginning to bloom in different varieties.

_It's real. This place is real._

Why he thought that he didn't really know but he accepted it all the same. It was a sign that he needed to go there, but not yet he couldn't really leave the place and leave his brother. He couldn't leave people again to fend for themselves and wonder where he was. When the time would come then he would know when to go there. That was what he was gathering. He'd never been there before. Feeling something on his body that was wet and brushing close to a specific wound that was taking its time healing, Sam stirred as the movement had been going on for a while. Slowly opening his orbs he inhaled and searched with his eyes as they landed on Trent. The man was away from him and cleaning his hands like any cat would.

The hunter sat up. Checking down at his chest he could see less blood that was there and it was still glistening where there wasn't any that clarified that he had felt what he really felt. Trent had been cleaning him. However awkward for him and him being Sam he wasn't used to a lot of things that he should be being a Were. He removed the torn shirt and bloodied shirt. So much for the clothing Dean had lent him. They sat in silence for a while, then something picked up on their hearing as they upturned their head tot he ceiling. Someone was home. 

888

Donnie walked through the door to the Singer house. Someone had offered her a ride home that was a teenager thinking that he was all that. She had accepted but condoned nothing else as she was more focused on the songs she had been playing in that auditorium. Still needed a book to write them in. Removing her jacket and setting down her iPod onto the side table at the front door.

Moving into the study and continuing into the kitchen to double check that Sam hadn't figured a way out. She had received Dean's text. If anything went wrong to call, and of course check on his little brother. The red head turned and went to the basement door to do so. There was a different feel as she descended the steps and she furrowed her brow. Being drawn to something else and finding that the door to the room was open made her worry. Quickly and slowly meeting the barrier she looked inside and found Sam but with another person. Another...Were.

"Who are you?" Donnie was sort of calm while the rest of her was prepared to fight but the feeling of drawn to this wereanimal was not so horrifying or even a matter of being pushed away like Sam's was. He already had a witch. This man sort of did have one but it wasn't so concrete and tied. Sam's felt that way. Mate. Donnie held back on the affects that Were's have on witches and vise versa. "And if you even think about asking me to let you out after coming in this house and in this room over the barrier, you are wrong. Someone explain. Now."

_Don't stare at him. Their eyes make it harder to resist the pull if I stare. Some find their Were like some find their mate that they live with their whole life. A Were has one witch that they will fully be with in that same way...only it has to be a bloodline witch. No. Don't stare and try and ignore though every fiber is sparking inside. This is different. I'm scared; I don't know what to do with this information._

This woman was so hostile and Trent's nose crinkled curiously at her behavior, picking out patterns of scent that lended themselves to more curiosity. Blinking and tilting his head to the side and then back to Sam as he quietly asked for some advice on the matter of dealing with this stranger he turned his kind hazel-brown orbs to the red head feeling the magnetism she had towards him only made him hesitate in reply.

"Trent Brighton and I wouldn't think to have you let me out, not with the poor way I've behaved."

He would admit his ill judgment but there would be no apology running from his lips about his actions or what he took out on Sam. He was okay now, for the time being; yet with how he was dealing he might just need another sparring match with Sam. It was a strange thing to have a sudden respect and empathy for one who he used to hate so blindly for causing the one he loved to die, but Trent wasn't a bad person a little unstable maybe but not bad, he had never hated anyone in his whole life and if he had that anger never lasted.

"And you are?"

He returned sitting up straighter and adjusting the scraps of clothing that were left on his person which didn't last long as he soon fiddled with them enough to cause them to tear off and then he started to tear the smaller pieces between his fingers. Noticing a smudge of blood he licked it off the back of his hand without thinking, thoughts drifting back to wanting to take a nap after cleaning Sam and then most of himself, he had accepted what he was years ago, it was too hard to deny. Trent couldn't understand what was stopping Sam from doing the same.

So polite. Donnie blinked caught off guard and she instantly felt horrible for being so mean sounding. Apparently something had happened, fighting and she wouldn't pry but she could gain a guess that it was something that Sam had done to upset this man named Trent. "I'm Donnie St. Lewis."

_Oh yeah sound so guilty. Trent. Nice name and he's not bad looking, he's actually extremely gorgeous and again very polite. Damn it. Why am I drawn to the torn type? Actually why am I drawn to this Were more than others?_

Sam could tell the change in Donnie, he could tell that she didn't like being mean to people or sounding off putting. It made him smile slightly, she really was so much different compared to the women he knew. The red head ran her hand through her hair and pulled it off to one shoulder and started to lean against the open doorway, braiding the strands in small amounts without thinking about it. She wanted to look into Trent's eyes. She had learned of this stuff but sadly what she didn't learn was how bad it could get for that magnetic pull. It wasn't as if it was bad or anything, but she just met him and yeah Dean and her were just friends but...fuck she just met him and she was not going through this mindset again. This time it wasn't the same. With Dean it was normal. With Trent...it was beyond normal.

"Um, so, I guess...hungry? Need pillows, blankets...water? Um...I'm sort of new to this dealing with Were's." That sentence alone was hard for her to get out as her eyes fluttering around Trent and she swore her breathing was getting harder to come out when she would accidentally get close to looking right at Trent. If she did she knew she'd be done for and wouldn't stop staring, hell she wouldn't count out walking in to the den of two animals just from how the pull was.

_A shower would be lovely.___

Trent perked up at the sound of food, his stomach sounding loudly in the presence of Donnie and Sam, it had been days since he had eaten anything solid he had been starving himself for Sam, he didn't want all that meat to go to waste. Licking his lower lip Trent dragged his tongue thoughtfully over his left canine; rubbing his flat stomach the dried blood flaked off onto the floor in tiny specks. "Food and water would be great."

Trent smiled with a very human set of teeth as he looked at Donnie and he knew how hard she was trying not to look at him, in his eyes he could see how tense her muscles were, could hear her heart pounding could smell her sweat. He knew it was the magnetism that true witches had with certain Lycanthrope breeds, no one had ever tried to explain it at least he had never heard the story, it simply was. Her energy would timidly float around but he would push it away or rather resist and move out of it's way, it wasn't that she was forcing it upon him but he wasn't completely interested, his heart belonged to Von whether she had a mate or not. Trent didn't want to fight Sam for the right, he was too easy going and maybe he never had what it took to be an Alpha but he would fight to avenge her, and if she was back as Sam had said to defend her as well.

Laying back down on the ground Trent stretched and relaxed staring up at the large fan behind the iron shod Devil's Trap, he couldn't escape unless someone let him out and that someone had to know how to deal with magick. Trent had no idea what type of spell Von had initially used to set this up, she had several varieties of wards and this one was probably crafted special for Weres, Von was a genius like that.

That was when her eyes landed on him, when he lay down and stretched his body and she felt like she had been punched in the chest, all air went out and her heart just pinged. Donnie inhaled sharply and it was really loud, eyes widening as if she was coming back to life or something. Sam watched her when she stumbled backwards and tripped over her own feet as she ran to the stairs. Running the stairs two at a time and muttering 'No' over and over again as if she was fending off some kind of...he couldn't place it. Confusion marred him and he knew that Donnie was going to get them some things because he could hear her moving but he could also hear her frustrations as she was talking to herself or another being. Chastising her mother about not telling her about Were's and connections.

_Such a weird red head._

Bringing his eyes to Trent to see what had got Donnie so riled he scrutinized hard, as if he was deep into researching a book or a website, trying to find the answer. What did Donnie see that made her react so huge? When he noticed that Trent was staring at the ceiling, he too tilted his head to bring his sights there. Were's and connections. What did that mean? He was so confused and he wasn't sure if he should ask because he might sound stupid to Trent or if he was intruding on something. 

888

She breathed like a woman would in the delivery room and bringing forth a baby to the world. Her hand was on her heart where it was pounding and a magickal essence flowed all around and it made her want to scream out at the intensity of the pull. There was one thing she could not do and that was look into his eyes. If she looked both of them would be goners. Or so she assumed, but from what she had learned from her mother's journal was that she had met her Were and the eyes were important. "Fuck you mom, why didn't you explain it more?" she cursed at the ceiling as she gathered a few pillows and blankets for the boys as well as herself after she had seen the mattress on the floor outside the panic room for convenience or had been used at one time when needing to keep an eye on someone.

Taking food, drinks, and then she stopped. Her hands were full and her mind had grabbed other things like a bucket, towels and soap for shower and she was sure that there was a basin down there as well but she couldn't believe how much power she was using without even thinking. Her mouth was open in shock and her eyes were watering slightly in fright. Ever since she got back into using her full power she had been doing more and now that there was a Were in the basement that she felt so strongly pulled to. It frustrated her. It wasn't that Trent wasn't a nice looking man or nice, because he was but she was scared...her mother had left her father for that Were that she had been connected to and it wound up resulting in all three of them being killed for the connection.

Pushing the watering back and allowing the stuff to still be used and carried down behind her and in her arms, she made it to the basement and watched the items float in to the room just inside the barrier before she set herself up to sit on the mattress. She would stay down here to watch them. It wasn't like anyone else was here to and she was all alone with Sam and the intruder that she wanted to dislike.

_No. I will not look in his eyes, I will not get into this. I am not like all the other bloodline witches and I am not my fucking mother!_

Scared. So scared and intrigued. "Hope that will help, I just kind of grabbed everything and anything that might be good."

"Thanks...Donnie are you okay?" Sam asked.

Donnie flicked her eyes to him, "Y-yeah. I'm just...I'm just hungry too you know?"

"Mm, me too." Trent grabbed a handful of the food placed out in front of them, dinner buns and pulled pork and started to stuff his face losing all concentration except on the food.

One sandwich down and another half eaten Trent was in happy land forgetting all about being trapped in a room with a werewolf that he had previously tried to kill. Licking the sauce off his fingers each with a light smacking noise Trent's eyes came back to his surroundings, inspecting, memorizing, then his eyes landed on Donnie with the same quiet discerning gaze. He had heard her rambling upstairs as well about witches, Weres and connections and the curses directed at her mother for not preparing her. Trent supposed dealing with Weres was a difficult thing especially for those that were not experienced with such matters and witches above all could find it problematic because of unnatural influences.

The connection.

Trent had been able to hide what he was from Von for the longest time, using magick to cloak the animal energy that wafted off of him. He had since lost the mojo bag and never had the chance to replace it so his primal aura was free to float around him, affecting unsuspecting witches. The wereleopard suspected there was something off about Donnie since she first became aware of his existence, since she first saw him but his mind forever rested on the fact that Von was alive and nothing else mattered but finding her again.

_I just have to figure out how to get out of here_, he pondered as the hair on the back of his neck rose and his hazel-brown eyes drifted to Donnie, he blinked and his eyes shifted away to the steel basin.

"Donnie, do you think you could get some hot water going on, I'd like to get this stink off of me?"

She stood, gathering the bucket she had kept out of the room and filled it with water at the sink just across from where she was sitting. There was no need to go back for more water, she knew that using the natural elements was a good thing and it didn't take too much out of the person. Once the bucket was filled she walked to the barrier. Donnie had to go inside and she swallowed. Brave, she had to be brave. If anything happened she believed that she was strong enough. Stepping over the threshold and going inside, she moved towards the basin and keeping an eye in her peripheral on the two men.

_"Two men who are Were's and a witch...how kinky."_

Alex's words formed in her head and she knew that it would be what her friend would have said. How could she ignore that fact as well as her mind? Donnie poured the water inside and it wasn't much and it was hardly hot, it was more like normal drinking water temperature. Setting the bucket down she would keep it there for another bathroom option. Staring at the water she knelt down waved her fingers through the liquid, a fire inside lit, eyes turning and she imagined it filling up higher and higher and as it was doing so it began to grow warmer, scalding and yet her hand was unaffected, the basin however was protesting.

She knew she could go hotter, she knew she could and she wanted to. It was a drug and that was when she stopped and stood. Blinking she was confused a bit and she ran her wet fingers through her hair, turning around and bumping into someone's hard chest. Donnie's foot slid along a small puddle that had splashed onto the floor. About to fall back the man's hand grabbed her hand and brought her back up and into him from the effortless force. Fast and she had looked up into the eyes and she had expected it was Sam but it wasn't.

Her abilities were still coursing through her from the water basin and she knew that her eyes were still the same two colors. Confidence came over her and she actually smiled, a flash of something from someone else's viewpoint. The scent of flowers came around her and she was no longer looking at Trent but she was looking in a room just as blank and as much of a holding area. The smile turned into a grin and fangs could be felt. She was now looking through that person's eyes into their power and back at Trent. Donnie turned her head slightly as she grinned. She knew this man. No, whoever she was looking through knew this man and the flowers were familiar. It was that woman Astarte.

Hand rising not under Donnie's accord she brushed it gently along his cheek like she would a lover. Green eyes took over Donnie's, as well as the normal grey-green they usually were. Her head turned to bring her attention onto Sam. Sam had smelled the flowers and he was now staring at what Donnie was doing. When she looked at him he was scared. "Von?" he breathed, swallowing hard as the eyes shifted to amethyst. He thought he was hallucinating but because he noticed that Trent was acting on the difference that this time he wasn't. Somehow Donnie was channeling Von or was it the other way around?

Donnie on the other hand couldn't quite do anything on her tail end. It wasn't like what happened when she channeled through Dean and saw Hell and saw every time he healed and it wasn't like when she did it with Sam those two times. This time was different; she couldn't even move her mouth to speak her own words. Then as suddenly as it had come and happened it was gone. Donnie blinked once and moved her head to look at Trent. "I'm so sorry."

Her grey-green orbs were staring dead into his and her heart seized in fear. She couldn't move and this time it was her, it was the fact that she was right there in front of Trent and the pull was harder to resist this time for her. Donnie settled on not moving until she could find a way around it, but all she wanted to do was stay touching him and maybe even kiss him. Her main instincts mingled with those.

Trent didn't hear the words, only the tone of the voice like songbirds in his ears keeping him spellbound. He held her so that she would not fall and he held her still, could never be too careful, her racing heart could be felt against his chest as his own heart beat strong and steady. All the changes he had seen and felt, Von was telling him something, speaking through this other witch without having to say a word and now he could not take his eyes off of her. Pupils dilated and irises leopard green Trent burrowed his gaze deep into Donnie's orbs seeing what there was to see with growing clarity and his heart ached for Von while struggling with this new connection to the stranger whom he held. Like a bee to the flower, this was as natural as instinct and unlike Sam he was not afraid, he was overjoyed; Von had shown herself to him through Donnie.

Shaking his head a single tear ran down Trent's cheek, his lips parted and he hadn't realized how close his lips were to hers until he could almost taste them, almost taste Von, whose scent lingered like perfume in the air. A soft purr left his mouth and that was when he released her gently and instead of pushing her away he was the one to step back, his gaze dropped and he looked back up at her, a labored ascent of feline orbs mirroring emotions of sadness and confusion.

"If you don't mind, I would like some time to think." It was Trent's way of asking her to leave, to give him some to himself to reflect on what had happened and he hoped that she would desire the same. His worry was that she would throw herself at him as he had heard in many stories when witches and Were's found their connections and what he would do then he could not rest his thoughts upon. "Please."

"Oh believe me I think we all do," she exhaled and almost forgot how to inhale before she rushed around him and shut the door, she would let him have his time while she sat outside. First she wanted to check the rest of the house to double check that things were fine.

_Because I am definitely not fine. Why can't Alex be alive when I need her?_

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Sam stood up and he tried to shake what he had seen. It _was_ Von. What made him slightly mad was that Trent had reacted to the fact that Donnie had channeled Von. Why? Von was his mate and Trent would have kissed her if Von were still there. Sam couldn't stop the glare that Trent couldn't see but he also couldn't stop the way every muscle in his body tensed and flexed. He was questioning why he wasn't forcing Trent to the floor or the wall interrogating him about what he was thinking about doing. Thinking about his mate like that and yeah it was Donnie but Von was in there somewhere for a short amount of time.

Donnie was right though, they all needed to think and right now it was good advice. Sam could have fired off into something he normally wouldn't have done, well maybe he would have a bit because it was Von...but he needed to think clearly and to do that he needed to breathe and just sit in a corner of the room and reevaluate. Maybe he could talk about Von with Trent calmly while deep inside the animal way of doing things was to kill the other contender over his mate. Von was his. The hunter sighed, turned and sat down in a corner like he had thought.

_But even after, Trent was still looking at Donnie. Which means something different. But Donnie and Dean are just friends, despite what I had smelled that one day. At least I think so; I haven't been in the loop for a while now because I've been down here. I've been the little brother that has issues._


	22. Chapter 22

Trent's shoulders sagged like he had been carrying a great weight and he shifted his downcast eyes to Sam who had moved to the far side of the wall to take counsel in his own thoughts. Sniffing, Trent moved over to the hot water, it was uncomfortably hot even for one of his pain threshold so he let it be for now to cool off.

"I'm sorry Sam, I didn't...I couldn't think." He slumped to the ground one leg folded under him while the other's knee bent upward in front of him, hand wrapping around he pressed his fingers into his calf. "She's like a flower to a bee," he said what he had experienced a short moment before.

He imagined how Sam was seeing what had transpired, if Von had managed to make the link or whatever is was last Trent doubted he would have been able to stop from kissing her, just one soft light kiss and only because he was so happy that she was back. Before all this he would have never have been so daring, as much as he would have wanted to fight Sam for Von's heart he respected what they had, Von loved Sam not Trent but as long as she was happy Trent could be happy too. But the pull he had endured was like nothing he had felt in his whole life, in Donnie it had tingled at his skin, in the presence of Von it coaxed the very fibers of his soul, beckoning in the sweetest melodies.

True-blooded witches were rare breeds, Von and Donnie were the only two to his knowledge that he had ever met and both were genuinely unique and alluring in their own ways. Trent absent mindedly picked at the scraps of clothing that remained on his person until none remained and small piles of discarded cloth were strewn around him like a windswept nest, if he was riled he would normally set to pacing to ease his mind but he could not will himself to fully stand.

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She checked and while she checked she had managed a notebook that was stashed impossibly in between two large piles of books. With some effort from physical and metaphysical she got it out, grabbed a pen and was back downstairs and on her mattress in no time. Donnie needed to think and what better thing to help her than to write? She had just come back from playing the piano at that High School and it felt so good. The type of feeling was elation, as for some people to relax and get to that perfect peaceful place was to curl up with a book on the couch, silence all around and just the crackle of the fire sounding while they got lost in the world of words. For Donnie it was just simply picking up an instrument or sitting down at one.

_My kingdom for a piano._

What was running through her head was the fact that Astarte had actually gone through her, she had picked up on her without really thinking like the others but this time it was different because Astarte was so strong. And it was Von. Did Astarte mean to confuse Sam and Trent by thinking that it was still the kind Von they knew? Donnie didn't know Von and so she didn't know her mannerisms entirely but she had met Astarte and just the feeling was that in an instant she could cause pain greater than imagined. Donnie knew to recognize her as the more powerful witch, as more powerful than a lot of things that hunters would believe were already the most powerful. Then she thought of Trent. How he was holding her so close and how his eyes were gorgeous even when they had changed to abnormal.

His lips were so close and he had been thinking the same thing but Donnie believed after leaving the room that it was for another reason. He was looking to kiss Von not her. Her heart plummeted. Wiping her hands over her face and then running them through her hair to cradle her head. First Dean and now Trent. They both want someone else out of her and she is left the one that felt guilty. Like it was her fault that she was even there in the first place since she did indeed ask to come along the ride with Dean and she didn't walk away even though there were times where she thought she might run. Thinking back to the other men that she had been with in the past that were just one time things she wondered if they too were wanting someone else out of her and left them disappointed in the end.

Pulling back from her hands she uncapped the pen with her teeth and spit it out on the blanket. Pen to paper and mouth open to softly sing and test it out as the words slowly came. _"Shoot me with your rubber bullets, your finger's on the trigger pull it, I know you want this suffering to end. So it is forgivable my friend."_

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Sam had his hands in fists when Trent tried to explain. "No she's more than that. A flower to a bee doesn't even come close to her intoxication. You and I aren't the only ones that have been drawn to her that is a Were. Alex killed the other one...he was her friend and he had betrayed us all. No...Von is like that song you hear that you know in some part it was written for you. She'll coax you into that bar just to listen and let it flow into your whole being. Von is like the rain, sometimes you never get to see all of her for a long time and then she comes over with the clouds like protecting and caring arms while she waters you with her kindness and every emotion she decides to let loose."

_She's my little bear to my big bear. Ursa Minor and Ursa Major._

He closed his eyes and pushed back his tears that were building. If he wasn't so scared he probably would have never been far away. "I don't blame you, though I am mad because she is my mate and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I probably would have been where you were with Donnie just because Von was coming through. I would have done the same thing, but the would have's don't matter when you are being haunted by the one you love as hallucinations. I've come to fear her now and I hate that I have. You don't like me and I get that, but I have begged for death in more ways than one and some of the time it isn't even intentional. If Von were still dead and you had come before I had fallen down, I would have let you kill me."

_Maybe now I don't deserve Von even though she's alive again. Wherever she is. I definitely haven't been showing much effort in really caring even though I do care a lot. Trent seems like he should be the better mate and boyfriend then I will ever be._

The tall hunter's head looked down and he heard Donnie come back down and take her seat. He heard her sit there for a while before she began writing and singing, trying not to be heard in her own thought process, in her own little world. The corner of his mouth turned up slightly at the thought that Donnie held that aspect of alluring like a song but that song never touched his being the way it touched many. To Sam, Von was all the things he said and more, whereas to Trent, Von would simply be _just_ that flower to the bee.

Trent knew Von was more but it took Sam to explain it, to give words to what he knew and felt. And right now he was sorting through it all and how terrible he felt for Donnie being ensnared and forced to be in the middle of all this, she had been the conduit without her Trent would have never seen Von and now he had proof along with Sam's words that she was alive. Sam was terrified, Trent could smell the fear coming off of him in great droplets and the wereleopard had every reason to believe where that fear stemmed from, guilt.

He had been able to feel the brush of Von's power through Donnie and knew he would never be the same from it; it had left a mark upon him that was more awe than dread. Perhaps he was a fool for not being as scared as Sam but he didn't feel he had anything to be afraid of, though in hindsight he had always been blamed the fool and he could have been blinded by his love. Not so blind to be unable to tell that much had changed, that much of what he felt was the same, acutely intense like it was magnified by a thousand times, yet the same and there was recognition in the dark green eyes that took over briefly from Donnie light grey-green.

Trent couldn't find anymore words to say to Sam, instead he swallowed down the ones that had been building on his tongue, that Sam was deserving of his punishment as were all treacherous lovers and if he was ever let out of this room would he go to find her or would he be too afraid of what he may find. Thinking and listening he found some solace in Donnie's beautiful voice that came through the thick iron door, though the song was sad and twinged on his heartstrings all the more.

Then he thought about Sam's _hallucinations_ and how he doubted they were hallucinations at all, not after what he had experienced. Von had come through Donnie somehow, if only briefly, and that was no twisting mind game, that was real and as solid as the iron walls around them and that was when he began to think that it wasn't so much Sam mentally punishing himself but Von tormenting him from wherever she was. Holding in a sigh Trent's brow furrowed and his face was stuck that way a minute or two before it relaxed and his gaze was sad and blank, a part of him not believing that he had failed to accomplish what he had set out to do and that he had resigned himself to staying in this room instead of finding some means of escape.

_Escaping one of Von's wards is impossible, you didn't escape, you were allowed out_.

With his ears tuned into Donnie's voice he just wanted to listen and clear the torturous weight of his thoughts but the images of him holding Donnie were stuck on replay and he found himself torn between his undying love for Von and the new emotion that was blossoming in his heart. Trent's whole chest ached and it was difficult to breath but he managed slow shallow breaths when he needed to, he wanted to drink something strong but all Donnie brought down was juice and pop, maybe in a couple months he could have turned that juice into moonshine but he doubted he would have that long. He would get out or something else would happen to him and that would be that.

Trent's thoughts trickled to Donnie, how her body pressed to his, her lips, her eyes, she had initiated the first steps of a connection and Trent compared it to an infection the first signs and symptoms presenting themselves. He held no blame towards Donnie; connections could be fought but only in futility either by one party or both. She had looked in his eyes and he had stared back it was only a matter of time before simple curiosity would turn into mad infatuation. Trent couldn't decide if that was all such a bad thing.

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Donnie choked on the next words after a while of getting the tune right and moving onward. She set the notebook and pen down and then laid back. Staring at the ceiling she couldn't help the feeling she had in her. How could she have looked into Trent's eyes? How could she be so careless? But she wasn't thinking when she slipped, she wasn't thinking at all when she was working on the water. Donnie didn't know what else there was to the connection and making it concrete. She only knew of the eyes, of course there must have been more with the want to do more inside like kiss and feel his body against hers. Snapping her eyes open when she had closed them, she tilted her head back to look at the door.

_They can hear me out here._

It didn't bother her as much as it would if Dean heard her. She thought she was fine if he heard her at that High School but now she wasn't so sure again. With anyone else she could sing and not mind if they heard her. Then came the thought of Trent again. Could the biblical connection just go away? Donnie didn't want to have to deal with more complications in her life especially not after what had happened with her in Faerie Land with Dean. Why did Astarte pop in? Was it to mess with the boys, mess with her or was it because there was a message behind it? Removing her mind from it she arched and crossed her legs at the sensation of his body still there and she rolled over and stuffed her face into the rolled up blanket to groan her frustration.

"I hate you mom. Really bad right now. Really fucking do," the words muffled into the material.

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If Trent had been in his animal form his ears would have twitched at the strange muffled sound coming from the other side of the door, he thought he caught the words mom and fucking and the tone was clear Donnie was upset with her mother again. He turned his gaze behind his shoulder instead orbs landing on the closed door and he stared like he could see clean through the iron at the red head on the bed, her face muffled in the pillow. Out of all the scents imbedded in his skin it was Donnie's Trent found his attentions focused on, it was dizzying and he entertained the daydream of rolling in it. Blinking and shaking his head Trent turned away, he didn't want this to be happening, he wanted simple not complicated and this, and this was very complicated.

_Donnie St. Lewis, why you? _he thought over and over picking at details great and small. She was a witch and despite some uncanny resemblances to Von that Trent never bothered put importance in to begin with, nothing came to mind. Trent wanted there to be a reason, his rational side needed it but he knew that none existed; with such a connection there was no room for reason.

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**6:30PM**

Rolling over and inhaling she had fallen asleep since there was nothing much to do and she didn't know how much more time Trent needed. Sam needed...Standing up, Donnie rubbed her eyes, rolled her tongue in her mouth and opened and closed it to get the nap taste out. The female walked past the small dirty mirror over the sink to get to the door and stared. Hair unruly but not entirely horrible, she'd fix it when she went upstairs to check the house and get some food. Find a comb and get to work on the nightmare. With a few more steps, a twist and pull the door opened and she leaned against the doorjamb to find Sam asleep sitting up with his head on his crossed arms on his knees. Trent beside him on the floor and she yawned with a stretch.

Her eyes lingered on his body though, head tilting to rest on the metal. _Out of all the Were's in the world, it has to be you? No complaining entirely but I already have complications. Already barely awake and I am back to thinking about him._ Donnie decided to enter the room gather the used basin so then she could evaporate the water and possibly bring it out to clean it. After all Trent did look cleaner so he must have bathed. _Look at me I'm the new version of Cinderella...or would it be Snow White? Didn't both get along with animals and clean things?_

When Donnie entered Trent peeked his hazel-brown orbs open, staying very calm and still as he watched. He had heard the door open and the magick of the ward rippled when she stepped through, a human wouldn't have been able to sense it but Trent had accepted what he was a long time ago. She was in here to clean up which was a surprise because if it were him he would have avoided entering the room with the two Were's at all costs, yet here she was and here he was watching her like the quiet cat in the corner people watching.

He supposed he should have said something instead of sneaking up on her like he did, the encounter causing both of them to jump back and Trent to grab the blanket he had wrapped around his lower half before it fell. Trent raised a hand to placate her, "I wanted to say I'm sorry, for before...I'm sorry if I hurt you." Concern was in his gaze looking her over top to bottom to see if he had harmed her physically and with no signs he knew if he had caused any trauma it was much worse than physical damage.

Heart racing from him sneaking up, Donnie's chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath. "You didn't hurt me. If anything I should be the one who is sorry. I mean for all I know I caused hurt to both of you, especially you because of me looking in your eyes. I'm sorry about that. I really didn't mean to do that honestly. And if anything I am so confused about this thing anyways and I _need_ to shut up. I'll just finish...cleaning...up."

Turning back around Donnie rolled her eyes at her rambling stupidity. What she needed to do was just finish, leave him be while she tried not to think about the fact that he was clutching a blanket to his lower half. That stopped her in her tracks her back just turned to him and she wasn't sure whether to move or not. The only thing that came to mind was questions like always, Donnie and her questions.

"What all do you know about witches and Were's connections? I mean you have to know, that was stupid of me to ask, but I...I don't want to live up to expectation of being a witch. I've welcomed it but I'm scared. I'm so scared that now I've gotten myself into something that I can't get out of and that I've gotten someone in the same situation with me. I wish I were as strong as all of you are. My mom and even Von that you guys all seem to compare me to without meaning to. I knew that look in your eyes and I wish I didn't. Disappointment." Closing her eyes as some tears fell down her cheeks she couldn't help the feeling of being scared. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to pour on you everything because I've done a fine job so far of making sure I don't screw up and look at me. I've done just that with a few things. I'll get out of your hair."

_Just clean up, move feet and clean up. I should not have asked, I should not have stopped,_ Donnie thought, her eyes opening but she didn't move, fear still rode her.

"You're not...you're not a disappointment." He clasped her hand without thinking, feeling her tense he recoiled and stayed where he was a couple feet behind her. "I'm sorry," came his apology and he wasn't sure what else to say.

Trent could have answered her questions he supposed but he knew about as much as she did by his guess, no one had taught him anything solid about connections between witches and Weres of any kind, he had heard stories and was learning a lot all on his own. If things weren't already so tense and complicated he would have been his typical charming self, he would have wanted to get to know her more and if he were still human he would have asked her out for coffee and see where things went from there.

With the way things were now he thought maybe he could still get to know her but the coffee and whatever he dreamed after would remain just that, dreams. There were risks he was not willing to take, he wasn't abusive and the thought of hurting a woman just so he could have a good time made him sick. Swallowing down the trickle of bile that had crawled up his throat at the thought he stared hard at the opposite wall forcing the images of brutality from his mind. Trent turned when he heard Sam grumble in his sleep, puppy was dreaming, his eyes remained on the hunter until Sam settled back down. Turning around he was both surprised and not to see Donnie still there, she was so scared and he would give anything for her not to be.

_There is that damn word again. Sorry._

Turning to face him as slow as possible, she met his orbs. That step was already taken care of and so looking into each other's eyes wasn't much of a problem anymore. "Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. It's me."

_He touched my hand. Wow I sound so intelligent in my head._

Donnie dropped her head slightly and her hand rose and she stared at it feeling the lingering sensation longer than it normally would. The need inside made her sick that she yearned so hard to be closer to him. How could she want to be near someone that bad that it felt like she might just scream out? How was that natural? Then again that would be like a normal human being asking how all of them were natural? Raising her eyes like some kind of innocent animal noticing that someone was staring at her she knew that was the wrong thought as he was the predator in the room along with Sam as an exception but he was the awake predator. And she was a mediator. Scared of them from her experience with Sam she didn't want to believe that they were all like that.

Witches were supposed to help control things of a Were. Help that was the word that was necessary to stay on. They helped but she had heard of one named Luka that did not help but instead did other things. "I think we got off on a bad start. My name is Donnie St. Lewis, yes I'm a witch but I'm the good kind. Good for helping and as of late good for making those who are deep in sorrow feel like they aren't alone and have a friend in the world to help pick them up, a happy smile, drinking buddy and pure company when words don't need or want to be said."

_I can do this. Just try and skirt around the other edges that lead to making the connection deeper,_ her thinking was positive even though her wants were dirty and had every intention on trying to make her feet move to kiss him and not succeeding as she was stick still again. _Why'd I think I can do this? This is so hard. Harder than trying to stop drinking my favorite alcohol, Whiskey, hard._

"I know you're good," Trent smiled, "I could tell that right off."

He freed a hand from the blanket to scratch the back of his head sheepishly. Donnie had a way with words, and lots of them, if Trent could choose one word for her that would be precise. Another thing he could tell was that she was nervous and a little scared, an inviting combination to play a game of cat and mouse if Trent were not in firm control of his behaviour at present, he could have snapped her delicate neck if he were a more violent man. Donnie smelled warm and sweet, he could smell her so clearly without his own musk overwhelming the room and his eyes nearly rolled into his head in exultation.

Trent had done well to stay away from women for several years, Von had been the only one he could trust himself around which sounded impossible because he spent every waking hour thinking about her and was always around her, tasting her scent on the air and coming into physical contact with her more than once. Abstinence kept others safe as well as kept him under the radar, he already had a handful of off their nut hunters keeping their feelers out for him. Trent was a man longing for the simple in a complex world.

_Nothing's ever simple...___

"Trent Brighton, I just have a way of gettin' myself into trouble." He motioned around him to the room and at Sam who was in a surprisingly deep sleep it seemed. All the better for him, he probably needed it with Von paying visits to wreak havoc on his sanity and Trent wondered what it was he dreamed if it was not Von for in some way he knew it had to be after his declaration that Von was his life.

"So does that mean you are a trouble magnet? Don't know how to take that. But I don't believe entirely that you trouble is all you create. I mean everyone does now and then and sometimes it seems like a lot. Now, if I bring you pants that I find somewhere from the laundry that Bobby has, bring down a couple bottles of whiskey...for me of course and a few sips for you, no offense, I love my whiskey and I'm not about to give it up after this situation that we've all had today. Do you think you can hold off on getting into trouble like you say you do enough to sit down and just get to know each other?" Donnie asked.

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Sam had stirred at one point just to roll over, he thought he had heard something but he was too tired. He had fallen into a dream, one that involved a hunt that he remembered being on with the gang. It was tough, filled with drama and fore like always being a hunter. And he was on the swings with Von in Ekalaka. Their first hunt together after them finding him at that motel with Ruby that Alex scared away. Succubus and Incubus.

_'"So you left Thing One and Thing Two in the motel room together?" she joked, straightening her legs and bending them while she sat staring ahead of her into the night. She really hoped that they hadn't turned the place into a bonfire, but she doubted they had really listened to her advice.___

_He chuckled. "Thing One and Thing Two...never really thought of them that way. Good nicknames. I would've suggested Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum." ___

_Releasing a sight he silently thought the words, 'you're welcome', hearing her thanks in her joke was plainly clear. He wondered if he could always read her like this sometimes. Tell what was really being said behind certain things she let loose, meaning it to remain hidden, but somehow he could pick up on it. Dean was right, it was like he had some kind of Von radar.'_

The memory flashed and he was alone on the swings, he knew what happened next but Sorcha and Von weren't there. He was alone in the night in the town. Nothing was going to go on next, so he just sat there. "I miss you so much Von." 

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Wilton, North Dakota**  
><strong>6:35PM

Staring at the aging hunter as he waited for something, for someone. The phone call wasn't insanely out of hearing so the gist was caught. Another hunter was coming up and the engine of the car outside as it cut signaled that they were there. Nineteen year old Alison sat on the dirt floor with her legs crossed at the ankles, tied with silver chains against a heavy pure silver support beam. The silver itched but didn't burn she had learned to withstand it just touching her skin after growing up with her werewolf pack. Blond long wavy hair, grey eyes border lining on a smoky blue, pouty lips with a clear lip gloss, some hoop earrings, brown modern styled tank top, a jean skirt, brown boots, nails black with jewelry on her fingers and wrists. A normal looking teenager but the thing was, she wasn't and she didn't fool Bobby Singer.

When the door opened and in walked the other hunter her eyes trailed to him, he was younger but not too young and she eyed him up and down to size up the kind of hunter he was. The elder couldn't believe how young he had to pick the werewolf. He was dealing with a pack of werewolves that had gone on a feeding frenzy and he only managed to catch one. She was young but he wondered just how young as she carried herself like she lived years. As Dean entered and looked at the girl, asking what she was. After all Bobby only said that he had a situation, needed a heap of help and that the situation was bound and sitting in front of him. He sighed. "Ihmissusi." Seeing the confusion on Dean's face he continued. "It's a type of Lycanthropy. They've been terrorizing the town."

"I'd hardly call it terrorizing, more like making a living. Putting food on the table. Cattle only goes so far you know," Alison commented.

Dean gave the werewolf an appraising glance; disgust creeping into his hazel-green eyes along with remorse, this girl could have had a lot of potential if she wasn't a bloodthirsty man-eating monster. Talk about a wolf in sheep's clothing, she was so young, she should have been going to college or university instead of tearing hearts out of families.

"No, I wouldn't, I don't munch on human beings," Dean quipped, "you should have stuck to cattle." They were going to kill her but not before they beat what they needed out of her, the location of the other werewolves in her pack. Other hunters were out scouring the area, some hoping others would try to come and rescue the abducted pup. They couldn't count solely on that though, this girl, monster, would have to be tortured to get the information they needed. "You wouldn't want to make this easy on yourself and just tell us where your buddies are would ya?" Dean stepped closer with a smug smile stamped on his face. The answer was going to be obvious, still you couldn't blame a guy for trying.

Alison blinked at him and then moved her eyes to the side to look past him at the doors. "Coulda, woulda, shoulda. But cattle tastes too much like pastured grass and dead flies that manage to snake in once and awhile. Since you don't know maybe if I get out of these chains I'll give you a first hand glimpse at what it's like. All it takes is a bite," her eyes back to him and she was calm about what she was saying.

Her pack wouldn't come for her because they weren't stupid. What was one werewolf out of the whole pack that wound up dying compared to them all possibly dying? She wouldn't tell and hunters weren't that good at torturing her kind anyways unless the one they caught was weak and she was definitely not weak. Alison didn't want to die, though she would because she knew it would save her family. Before the green light was given when the Apocalypse started by her pack leader they started to round out on their neighbors after being fed up with their fake smiles and annoying quirks. Alison had a foster family she lived with that was human parents to fit in like some of the other teenage members. One moment alive the next they were dead and they tasted good. She had a conscience but she knew what she was, it was only inevitable before she killed them anyways.

Inhaling she raised her head confidently and even like she was bored. She had never been at the hands of hunters but she'd seen things and she'd heard things as well. "Like I'm going to tell you. You're a hunter so you better just get on with it. Do what you must, I'm not making a sound."

Dean smirked and shook his head, monsters never did learn. "Suit yourself."

He ticked his head to Bobby and the elder nodded his go ahead, he'd be the lookout while Dean did what he had to do to get the job done like he always had. He always kept a silver knife on him and he pulled it out of his coat pocket letting the Ihmissusi get a nice long look at it, then he nicked her with it letting the blade run deep at the edge to give her a taste. Before Hell Dean had known enough about torture to get by, it was never something really needed until the major players started rolling in, you find the bad thing and you kill it. Now it was all about who had what info and Dean had since earned his bachelor's degree in torture, among the humans he was a master of the art and could make the smallest tweak of muscle send agonizing pain through someone's body that could only compare to the size of losing one of their limbs. With the proper tools any creature under the sun was at risk by Dean's hands, with silver this werewolf's defenses would be laid bare.

Another slice over the same line with a different angle, cutting a ditch into the girl's flesh, in most cases using silver would cause the wounds to heal as slow as that of a humans. At least from the basic American werewolves Dean was used to dealing with, Loup-Garous were a whole other deck of cards, Dean was comparing Sam to these monsters, as bad as his brother might have been at least he hadn't killed anybody.

"Anytime you'd like to speak up let me know." Dean held the knife aloft, one then two drops of red blood hitting the grungy floor, not letting a third dribble free he started a new line in the girl's skin precisely next to the first one he had been tracing over. She might have been able to take this so far, but Dean was just getting warmed up.

She screamed against the chains, trying to get away from the silver blade and she had never really been cut with silver before, she'd had it on her skin but it was the cutting that made her legs bend and the heels of her boots dig into the dirt and scuffle it into the air into a nice fine cloud. Alison slowly attempted at sliding her upper body a little bit to the opposite side he was working as she made whimpering sounds and more screams. Her hands were splayed by her waist and she began to cry from the pain.

After a while of her not speaking...it had felt longer than a while...It had been hours, she could see the sun set through the windows and she was now suiting multiple deep and wide cuts on her body, her blond hair had gotten into most of it and was matted with blood in places and she was regaining her breathing. The hunter was removing more things from his duffel bag he had gone out to get to give her break and she swallowed her mouth dry and head resting back on the beam. "You're going to have to kill me, I'll scream and cry all you want me to but I will not tell you anything. They are my family, I wouldn't betray them for this."

Watching him come closer again to continue more she pressed her back further into the beam, squirming and whipped her head to the side in fear. She was scared out of her mind. This was worse than the stories and she was trying so hard to not give him the satisfaction of getting to her entirely to change certain physical appearances. Feeling him kneel down in front of her she looked at him and kicked out at him, landing a one shot and going for another one but not succeeding as he caught her legs and began to cut into those.

"STOP! Please! Please stop! HELP!" A hand on her mouth and the blade at her face made her freeze. Closing her eyes she sobbed, her body shaking from it. Shaking her head with his hand there she muffled the words. "I will never tell. I won't tell you." Opening her eyes she pleaded with him to let her go. She killed people yes and enjoyed it on levels this hunter couldn't even fathom. Her orbs leaked slowly into silver and the black pupil became a slit riding up and down


	23. Chapter 23

Bobby stepped outside to get some fresh air leaving the grizzly scene of Dean's work on the other side of the door. The look in the young hunter's eyes had downright unsettled him. Bobby wasn't arguing the results or that Dean was good at what he did, just how he was doing it. But they needed to know Bobby affirmed and glanced out at the open land around him ready to take in a calming breath. The high pitched scream coming from inside rattled up his spine and into his skull, if the girl would just give up the ghost then they could put her out of her misery.

Dean would have to be absolutely sure the Ihmissusi would keep her secret before she died, Bobby was sure Dean already knew and he was prolonging her hell because she refused to help them. That had shown how much Dean had changed right there because that wasn't like Dean at all, if they didn't have the info or refused to give it up they'd be sent packing six feet under not made to languish. Dark times indeed had fallen upon them with no sign of letting up anytime soon.

888

Dean was hurting this poor girl, no this monster he had to keep reminding himself and when her eyes flashed unnaturally animalistic it made slicing into her tendons easier. Her slit pupils made him think more of a fox than a wolf, not the detail would only matter if he ever hunted down anything like this after this one and her pack were dead. "You're tough, I can admire that but this isn't going to get any easier for you." Dean knew there was little to no chance of her giving up her family, if he were in the same position he would have done the same thing, goaded his captor until they killed him or made some attempt at stalling them till he was rescued. "Must be hard knowing no one's going to come for you though huh? The family you love so much is leaving you here to die."

"It's not hard, my species is way more higher up the chain in thinking than yours is. I'm just one pup in the pack, they can make more. And believe me, I don't doubt it won't be any easier." Alison grinned and growled, she needed to protect herself. The silver hurt a lot and it made her teeth pop out. Snapping at him she slammed her back into the beam and let a very loud animal scream come from her. "Leave me alone!" Her body jerked forwards against the chains and it was a lot of force. Nose touching his nose she was close and she barred her teeth at him as she growled. "It must be hard for _you_ knowing that you are torturing a nineteen year old girl who just happens to be a werewolf."

Feeling something inject into her chest, missing her heart she exhaled, her eyes sliding back to normal as he leaned back, fighting the tiredness that was coming over her. Alison finally fluttered her lids shut and relaxed her body to the tranquilizer. Her torture wasn't finished, otherwise she would have been dead already.

Dean watched her fall under and let out a heavy hearted sigh, he didn't know why he was keeping her alive when he should have killed her, he wanted to think if he could break her enough that she would tell them but both hunters knew that wasn't going to happen. The second hope was that one of her pack would be stupid enough to try and rescue her and they could catch them too, maybe they would be more willing to talk.

There was no telling when that would be and by the sound of at least two cars pulling up outside some of the hunters had returned from their search to regroup and set up another plan. They could keep an eye on the Ihmissusi while Dean caught up with some much needed rest, he couldn't remember the last time he had any decent rest, honestly it had probably been a number of years since he had been able to sleep soundly through the night without any disturbances.

"You get some rest, I'll get updated with the others," Bobby said and waved him off into the adjoining room where three cots were laid out and ready to be slept on.

Dean stretched out on his back, legs crossed at the ankles and he stared at the high ceiling of the room until his eyes felt too heavy to bother staying focused and he drifted off to unconsciousness. An hour in and dreamland flooded his senses, he rose from the cot and found himself in the warehouse the only hint that told him he was dreaming was the touch of detachment one got when they were in such a state. Still the place was just as eerie in his subconscious as it was in real life, Dean wasn't eager to trust this space at all and moved about it cautiously to the next room.

The room was empty, no hunters, and the chains wrapped around the post were free of the werewolf they once held, lying in a heap around it on the floor. It gave Dean the hint that it wasn't that she was never there but that she had escaped which begged the question, how? There was supposed to be a group of hunters watching her. Dean could see no signs of blood and the coppery scent didn't strike his nose so there had been no fights, walking around he paused and listened all senses reaching out when the hair on the back of his neck stood on end, his ears told him he heard growling but when it was gone and he turned around and there was nothing he couldn't be too sure.

She stepped out from behind the beam when he turned his back on it. Stepping tentatively so, she flicked her orbs to the chains on the floor, nudging them with her boot to gain his attention. Alex watched as he faced the noise and froze. "I see you've been torturing on your spare time or is it that it's become the job now?" she voiced, tilting her head to the side as she crisscrossed her legs as she walked over to a table that had the tools lined out perfect and neat. "Nothing compared to Hell where they are always bloodied and covered in black puss that accumulates after years of torture till they grow less than human." Facing him completely she leaned against the table and met his green orbs. "I think we both know that first hand experience, especially me more-so that I'm still there."

Dean stood stock-still; he had been anticipating the Ihmissusi, not Alex and not this Alex. Whenever he had dreamed about her it was from days before it all went to hell, when none of them had been swallowed by the darkness that surrounded them. So he dreamed when they were children before destiny came knocking and blew everything to shit, now she was standing here talking about Hell and torture. It was the first time he had seen her like this since she died, tough with that cold edge to her that made his spine bristle in what was probably dread that he would never openly admit to. Dean throat was tight and dry, heart like a rabbit in his chest and he wasn't sure if he would dare to speak to her, stare or walk the other way, swallowing down hard he studied her up and down.

"We're trying to get you out."

"Trying to get me out? You call shacking it up with my best friend, drinking yourself into a pit and torturing a werewolf girl trying to get me out?" Alex scoffed; pushing away from the table she stood straight. "Fuck you Dean. Do you know how much I'm going through? How much I _went_ through?" Tears came to her eyes in anger and pain, her teeth clenched as she spoke. "I've been screaming and crying your name." A beat, blinking as the water works disappeared never falling. "I mean I guess I deserve this for what I did and I'm not just talking about with Sam as I am assuming you know that information. Some part of me wishes you didn't."

Alex walked right up to him and grabbed the front of his shirt as she stared into his eyes. Searching them as her chest ached. Pushing him back a bit she looked at him fully, looked at things that were different about him. How he had lost some weight though trying to gain it back, the small bit of scruff on his face and his clothes. She imagined he smelled the same.

"I screwed up with you and I'm the one to blame." Feeling someone behind her she didn't have time to react as hands grabbed her head and neck and sharply twisted, effectively breaking it.

Leon watched as the brunette fell to the ground of the warehouse. Waving his hand over it just as it made contact, the body disappeared in tendrils of fine blue smoke. Bringing his green orbs with a shot of hazel mimicking Dean's like a perfect replica, he wiped his hands on a handkerchief he pulled from his white suit pocket. "Nice trick isn't she? Really had you going." Pocketing the cloth he glanced around the room and inhaled, the patent grin on his face as his eyes glinted with mischief and landing on the hunter. "Long time since I last visited. How's it hanging? I've heard many delicious things. Gossip is damn tasty when it's true...and...well...gritty."

Dean ground his jaw, the sound nearly audible in the span of silence it took him to answer the vile demon, he looked like some kind of yuppy in that suit. "You look like a fucking dandy in that get up," Dean scoffed.

Leon always had a way of knowing much more than any man had a right to and Dean sorely wanted to punch the smugness off the demon's face. He had a lot of nerve showing up after so long and asking Dean how he was doing and to bring some vision of Alex along only for him to kill her in front of him. His fists clenched and would not relax, a common symptom when Leon decided to keep company with Dean and be buddy buddy with the hunter.

"Don't you have something more important to do?" Dean bit off his words before the insults started flying and he provoked Leon into one of his jolly raping moods.

Leon raised his brows and looked down at himself, looking up with a tiny pout the instantly changed to laughter. "It's not so bad Dean to look like a Dandy. There are days when you just need to make yourself look important. Like Lucifer but he's taking his time as usual. And if you can't tell with the suit, I _am_ doing something important and that is catching up with my little puppy that loves to hump and hump and then just when I think you're all down and alcohol induced, you bang. You know that girl...Alison is it? Oh yeah that's right you don't know the name of whom you torture anymore. Well, you do know one but you hardly even realize it."

Unbuttoning his jacket he started to remove it and walk around the hunter. Placing the article of clothing on Dean's shoulders like some bad date he whispered into Dean's ear the red head's name. Leon removed himself from where the hunter was standing and headed to the table with the tools. He picked up one with a curved long blade, taking the handle and at the bottom of it was another shorter blade. Facing Dean he wasn't going to turn his back on the male, not that he would have minded a little torture but he'd rather not his suit dirty just yet. It was a special occasion. An absence that was over and now a celebration that Leon was back.

"Anyways, Alison...I like what you're doing and you really shouldn't give up so soon in your pretty little head Dean, she'll squeal with the right twist and I think you know what that twist is. Border lining right on detached torture to attached torture. Really get into her head. How many times do I have to show you by coming to you in your dreams? If you can't do it with words or knives, do it with chemicals and actions. You can do it champ. Now if only Sam had that stability and nurturing that I provide you."

A beat.

"And the alcohol I see is treating you well and Donnie. Or should I say for her not really because the fact is that you want her but you don't have the sack to take her. I think that sack of yours shriveled when Alex died, she has a way of busting balls in more ways than one."

"Probably busted yours more times than you can count, especially since you like to put your dick in pretty much anything, that's not the best way to earn points with the ladies."

Dean grabbed the suit jacket and tossed it on the dirty ground behind him as far as he could, when he woke up he would need a shower to get the feeling of Leon off of him. He eyed the demon with caution waiting for one of Leon's tricks to rear unsuspectingly and either go for his ass or his dick, two of Leon's favorite tourist stops on his anatomy. Why couldn't Leon choose some other poor fuck to stop in on and pester? Dean was up to his armpits in other miseries without Leon purposefully setting fire to them. And he knew he couldn't wake up, Leon had to leave for that to happen because the demon had some way of keeping the hunter under until he was done with him much to the hunter's chagrin. Still Dean was already thinking of ways to get out of this on his own because he had no one to call on for help, no one had a clue what was happening.

Leon had Dean pressed against a wall with anger rolling off of him as he hardened his features. Leon rarely got mad but what Dean had said about...Inhaling he let his face relax and he smiled, releasing Dean's shirt and patting it down when it was rumbled. "You should learn to talk about not getting points with them. Digging yourself a little deep there. Are you so convinced that you can find Von...sorry I mean Astarte _and_ rescue Alex from Hell before things are too late? Are you so insanely obsessed that you think that they will take _you_ instead of Donnie doing the honor? You naive boy. You aren't as damaged as you think, so you need to surround yourself with broken souls that will never be the same again."

Removing a blade from his hand he examined it. It was something that Dean had never seen before. Leon held the weapon at Dean's face and he shook his head.

"'We're trying to get you out...' Dean face it, you don't want Alex out. Not from what you've learned, sure there might have been something between you two when she was alive but a half demon was one thing to handle, a half demon whose rarity speaks volumes to the point it tacks on the Anti-Christ. Now let's talk about Astarte wherever she is, think of it this way...Sam's a target and while she can't do anything at current standpoint what happens if she will be able to act? Would you be happy if your boyfriend left you for someone else, fucked your friend, leaving you all alone and not knowing what was going on until the last minute? And Sam. He'll get better, he'll release the tail between his legs and be a good wolf. He'll be good as new and you'll accept that. It's who you are. Last but not least by some people's standards that is, Donnie. Points dropping, despair riding, oh wait, fear in the line-up. Conflicted, angry, sad, a little on the side of euphoria happy but that only lasts so long nowadays."

Sliding the knife down without making a mark, Leon turned, forcing Dean to walk with him towards the support beam. Snapping his fingers the dirt lifted and created all of them tied in the chains, all dolls waiting to be activated by a carve.

"You're so angry that Alex did what she did and not just with Sam. You're furious with Sam for that as well as be the reason they died and starting the Apocalypse. Anger for Astarte because of what she did to assist you and Donnie that night and the fear she planted into you mixed with infatuation. Mad at Donnie for not being able to help with a double task and her very own naivety in a life she should have delved more into like the four of you had done. See, all that anger inside you isn't at yourself, it's at them no matter how much you lie and fool the thoughts in your mind." Leon planted the blade into Dean's hand. Dean had ways of provoking things that he should not provoke and it was time to see a new kind of torture play out over Dean's thoughts later. "Once you release it all on them, I'll let you wake up so you can go back to finding out your petty answers."

Dean knew he had poked at a raw nerve with Leon but Leon was wrong, at least enough to make the blade in Dean's hand bear a useless edge. He looked at them all tied to the beam heads bowed with sleep, each one a puppet to be pulled and pushed waiting for Dean to do his worst. Turning to the wooden table behind him Dean pegged the tip of the knife into the wooden grain and faced Leon. "You think I'm some ball of clay you can mold, you're wrong."

He walked towards the door to the outside, if Leon refused to let him out then Dean would find his own way. Pushing the door aside he stepped over the threshold onto the cold dirt ground and started to walk, seeing his car he fished in his pocket to find his keys, looked like he was taking his baby out of here. Driver door open he slid inside and turned the engine over not letting her loiter for a second before he shifted her into gear and had her pulling out of the dirt driveway and onto the gravel road he had taken to get him here, in another mile the gravel would turn to solid pavement. Dean would find his way out of this dream, this was his own damn mind after all and no one else's, no matter was Leon thought he could push Dean to do it was ultimately up to him to be the one to make the final decision. If he could decide then he was in control, not the other way around.

It was unfortunate when the hunter didn't take it up but Leon predicted that would run the way of refusal. Now Leon wasn't all for Dean up and going. Dreams weren't that easy to get out of and nor were they when Leon was the one that was in them. Sighing he chuckled and snapped his fingers, the scene changed and Dean was sitting in front of him on an arcade game that involved driving. One moment Dean had been in his beloved Impala and the next not. Didn't mean he wasn't driving.

"Did you really think it'd be that easy? The more I visit the more stupid you get," he voiced, signaling to the token girl with a grin for more of the coins to play some games around. The place was nearly empty except for Dean and the token girl opposite him. When the girl came over he took them from her and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Thank you Donnie, such a nice woman. How about we leave Dean to playing with a gear shift and a wheel and we can go have some fun on that air hockey table."

Leon led the female to the table, his hands on her hips to lift her onto it and whispering for her to lay down on it, her clothing consisted of a pair of mesh shorts, a piece of tape along her breasts to cover, red heels and a waist apron to hold token and tickets. Donnie's hair was curled and flowing, makeup was red lipstick and eye catching green shadow with black eyeliner. Putting in a token a clock popped up for 24 minutes. There was no use in running away from Leon this time; he had made sure to lock the damn doors. Seeing the hunter come up in a rage from what he had done and bringing someone into the mix he held up his hand and tsk'd, someone coming up from behind Dean and holding him still from completely making things worse. The person happened to be the little brother Sam that Leon still yearned to meet.

"Like I said Dean, you aren't waking up unless you hurt someone. Just because you are hurting someone awake doesn't mean anything. It's not someone that _I_ want you to torture. Get it? Now with twenty...three minutes left on the clock I can explain what is going to happen. With every minute that you refuse my offer, I will tear into this lovely piece of meat in any way I see fit. If the clock runs out and you haven't accepted then think of it like this...it'll be your turn under my hands and you know how much you love that on a personal level. We all do." Leon slid his fingers along Donnie's flesh, teasing until he took up the red hair, pulling sharply enough to take strands and bits of skin and blood. Donnie screamed and Leon tossed the item at Dean's feet. "I'm only doing this to get my jollies off and to awaken that part you refuse to act on with others that are who you care about. Your morals about it being justifiable to torture so called monsters is fucking ridiculous when you are no better, when you are just like them if not worse. When you smile, kiss, act brotherly, hug and drink with those you know are monsters as well but put them in a better light when they don't deserve it. Wake up Dean from your organization of what is a monster and what isn't by certain small factors."

Another minute went by and Leon removed the air hockey puck that wasn't plastic but instead a sharp metal disc. Making Donnie open her mouth by kissing her, he took her tongue with his teeth, holding it out as he began to saw it off as the fake version of her wailed.

Dean knew none of this was real but his stomach churned with the sight of it anyway and he struggled against fake Sam's grip. He couldn't take the sound of Donnie wailing any longer and with a deep breath slammed the back of his head into fake Sam's face, he wasn't sure what he was expecting but when the grip fell back he made his move swinging around to knock his fist into Sam's head to send him off balance. Not waiting for Sam to either hit the ground or correct his balance Dean spun and lunged towards Leon, tackling him off the table and away from Donnie.

On the ground his laid into the demon in his pretty suit, fist after fist until the perfect skin on Leon's face began to break and weep crimson. No words escaped Dean's lips, there was only the physical desire to do as much damage to Leon as he could muster, tear apart this sick fuck for yearning to turn Dean into something he wasn't. He wasn't going to deny that he was twisted and dark, he had done a lot of shady crap in his day and some of it was downright evil and it was because he was weak he could admit that in his own private company but he was sick to death of Leon trying to take up the pedestal of teacher and give Dean some pointers on how to be more screwed up than he already was.

Plagued by death and sorrow, an endless list of lies and monsters that dogged his steps and went after those he loved and one more had chosen him as it's fancy trying to instill in him the harsh lessons of being who he was, bordering on what he was. Down the road people often do things they rather wished they didn't, or things they regret that were out of their hands, Dean's path through life was no exception and even before the unnatural gift of healing was bestowed upon him by Astarte he was spiraling down a path into something less human than human. He had always been a freak and now he was a freak of nature, but he was still Dean Winchester and he still had a job to do and he would still try to make the right choices that were never easy.

From how Leon reacted earlier Dean could see now why the demon was so damn interested in him. It was Alex, they had a relationship and that was something Leon had never managed to gain with her, to Alex Leon had been nothing more than a student and she the teacher. He was smitten and she was disinterested in all that he had to offer which turned him bitter and spiteful but all the same in love in his own twisted way. "You made it pretty clear from earlier all your blabbing about me hating and not having the stones, that all boils down to base jealousy. You can't stand that I've been where you're never going to go." A laugh actually escaped Dean's lips and it was the sound of how pathetic he now saw Leon to be.

Green eyes went to a blackening dark mold, dangerous and if someone looked closely they could see underneath the persona of humanity Leon played out, the skin torn in some places and covered with seeping blood...coiled scab-like rough sandpaper skin beneath. A true form scarier than the normal demons, but not scarier than Alistair's true form. Leon pushed up and added his abilities to it making Dean fly back, the arcade decaying, paint unfurling, dust layering and plastic coverings over top the machines. Bones taking place of where Sam and Donnie had been, rats feasting on some of the leftovers.

The demon stood, brushing off his shirt and pants, stalking over to the fallen hunter before picking him up and lifting to eye level. Hand on his chest he forced in the feeling of fire from the pit. "I'll get there. She might not be willing of course but rape has always been one of my favorite ways of taking on something that I want and she's been a very bad girl who needs to be taught a lesson. Don't forget that Alex _made_ me. You don't know all that she can do or has done, so think of it this way. You should fear me, the Anti-Christ made me and that's a big thing, a big honor and though I have not stuck my meat into her wet hole like you have, you will never truly understand how much you don't have with her."

Leon lowered Dean into the ground, sitting on top and instead of his usual wants to take advantage of Dean, he wanted to show that there were prices to mentioning things he should know to hold his tongue on. A blade now in hand he sliced open Dean's jeans and boxers, taking up the slab, he gripped it, twisting and letting it burn and scab over, slicing off the scabs to let it bleed and hurt before he burned it all over again. Taking out a syringe he stuck it right through the head downwards and injected while Dean screamed.

"Where your soldier has gone, it'll pay for your stupidity. Don't fuck with me Dean, because I'll fuck you through and over until that's all you beg for and think about."

He went back to his blade and began to remove layers in small inches while he held Dean's hands there. While that hand worked, the drugs worked on Dean's system seeing more than Dean wished, it was him and all those dark thoughts come to life mingling with fear. Leon mixed it for a special occasion and now was the perfect time. Leon iced the appendage before he began to work on things further upscale on Dean's body.

"When you wake up, I dearly hope you will have learned your lessons and gain some...perspective you have ignored and walled up."

Leon was one ugly son of a bitch, the image made more invasive in Dean's mind by the drug sludging through his bloodstream. The pain seemed very real as it always had where Leon was concerned, the demon had mastered a way of tweaking ones residual memories of pain to his advantage. When a single blue flower appeared near Dean's head followed by three more young delicate sprouts Dean's eyes widened with surprise, he couldn't see them from where he was but he could smell them, the frail scent sobering him up. Though he had to admit this didn't fit in with Leon's normal song and dance because as much as he enjoyed using props flowers were a far cry from his typical go to's.

A gathering crop was assembling after the first blossoms began to flourish, creeping up through the cracks in the old arcade, as they grew thorns protruded from the soft green flesh, hardening and curling into hooks that would be difficult if not impossible to remove if they were to ever catch on anything. Swathes of vines spiraled and struck out like snakes towards Leon, climbing up his legs and sinking their thorns into his calves and thighs like fangs. Dean gathered himself, chunks of flesh mending back into place and all he could think to do was move backwards his mind a dizzying clog of confusion and drug induced fear. This had not been the first time these flowers showed up when he was dreaming, they had tried before to get between Leon and his prey, this time though nature was getting its revenge.

_Nature... _

"Ow," Dean gasped and smacked the side of his neck pulling his hand away for his blurry eyes to focus on a smudge of blood with a clear silvery tinge. One of the thorns scraped over his neck and joined the line-up that was swallowing Leon's legs and turning them into bloody hash.

"No!" Leon yelled in anger and pain, being dragged backwards he attempted at burning them off of him, he attempted at cutting with knives he had on his being but they weren't working. "Bitch!" Swallowed up he knew the only thing he had to do and that was to flee...escape. 

888

March 19, 2009**  
><strong>9:34AM

Bobby had taken Dean's shoulder and shaken him awake at the signs of a dream gone wrong. Seeing the green orbs flare to life and him awaken he stepped back and gave him a water bottle. "Was gettin' worried there kid. Thought ya weren't ever goin' to come out of there. It's mornin'. Time to get back to doin' the job."

_Though the job ain't pretty._

_Might have never if it wasn't for Ms. Deus ex Machin. _

Dean wiped a hand down his stubble-covered face in a couple days time it would start looking more like a beard. Scratching that hand through his hair he sniffed and cleared his throat taking the offered water bottle and unscrewing the cap to take a long drink, water wasn't nearly as motivating or numbing as alcohol but Bobby always knew what was best and Dean needed to hydrate. Back to work, Dean gathered himself and followed after Bobby into the adjoining room. Leon had said the Ihmissusi's name was Alison, he would ask her one more time to help, one more time and that was it. Seeing her face lift up to see the arrival of two more hunters Dean honed in on the fear in her eyes, he had seen so much of that fear directed towards him over the years and he could have used that to feed him, he could have used that to live off of, instead it sickened him which told him he was still human. It didn't mean he wouldn't use that fear to get what he wanted, pain was a persuasive commodity.

The other three hunters were still watching over her, the extra bruises showed they had done their jobs to rough her up some more though nothing would get to her as much as the silver blade that was Dean's and the words that would come from Dean's mouth next. Stopping in front of her the others stood back, Bobby there to attend to what Dean might need or to stop him from going too far and the others as casual observers, living vicariously through the satisfaction that they thought Dean was no doubt getting from harming the monster.

"This is the last time I'm going to ask, tell us where you're pack is." Dean waited a beat, watched her mouth move in answer then he cut her off. "You tell us and you're the only one that has to go through this. I can't imagine you'd want one of your loved ones to be where you are, a sister, boyfriend or maybe girlfriend. You already know any of these guys can't do what I can do even if a knife is in their hands, you tell us and I promise you not a single one of them will be put through this."

Alison began to think. Hearing a noise outside, the observing hunters leaving to check it out. She listened, eyes searching behind Dean to ignore him as she wanted to know what was going on. Her name came to her ears and she opened her mouth in shock. "No..." The sounds stopped, body being dragged and then when the hunters came in she saw the werewolf on the floor ready to be tasered again if he so much as moved. Swallowing hard, her eyes began to water and she brought her attention to Dean. He knew.

"Alison! Don't."

Attention snapping to him in a little bit of anger and sadness. "Why did you come for me? You know the rules."

"Screw the rules!"

Closing her eyes she felt some tears roll down her cheeks, opening them she knew that the other hunters weren't as scary as this one was. "I'll tell you if you promise not to hurt him. He's the only who hasn't killed anyone in our pack. He's my mate. Please. I'll tell you if you just promise me that. I don't care about me but I care about him." Her eyes landed on him as she finished. "I care about him more than them."

"Alright." Dean lifted a hand to signal for the hunters to stop. "No one will hurt him, now tell me where they are."

The lie lay thick on his tongue, there was no way no harm would come to Alison's mate, not after he watched Dean put a bullet in her chest after she told them where her pack was. A monster was a monster and she had killed even if her mate had yet to wet his fangs on human blood, she would kill again so they couldn't let her go. Dean nodded as she gave him the instructions and Bobby listened in as the second set of ears in case Dean forgot any details, which he probably would in one ear out the other with that boy. Two hunters held Alison's mate down and the last gagged him with an oily rag since he was making an awful fuss with shouting at her and the rest of them, he didn't want her to say a word and pledged to kill all of them if they hurt her anymore. They wouldn't be hurting her anymore.

Stepping back arm's length Dean pulled his gun from his waistband, flicked the safety off pulled the slide and chambered a round and before anyone could even think to ask what the hell he was thinking his arm extended point blank at Alison's chest. Finger on the trigger it took less than an inch and a fifth of a second for a single silver bullet to puncture her heart, luckily for her she died immediately after. Dean watched her body go limp and stared a while after that until someone shouting in his face got his attention, it wasn't Bobby because he had to quickly get over his shock to help the other two with the male Ihmissusi who had gone berserk.

Bobby had gone and introduced Dean to all of them, he'd be damned if he remembered the name of the one shouting at him now but he was the medium heighted guy that was still shorter than Dean, he thought his name was Jonah. "Get out of my face Jonah she told us where they are we got what we needed." Dean didn't back down, getting in Jonah's face and space to warn him to back off.


	24. Chapter 24

Donnie inhaled and slowly stirred. Snuggling her head onto the warmth beneath her and she opened her eyes as she tried to gain perspective. Upon seeing skin just beneath her cheek she raised her head and found Trent there. They had fallen asleep talking to each other, asking questions and answering them on personal levels to get to know the other. A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth and she let it slide when Trent woke up as well. Sitting up fully she looked around. Not the best move to fall asleep or stay in a magickally protected room for Were's.

_I swear I'm getting a tad braver and more stupid._

"Morning," she spoke when his sights settled on her.

A spot of drool glistening on his chest made her grab the edge of the blanket and wipe it off saying sorry and giving a look of self disgust at how suave her sleeping was like. It wasn't like she was dreaming about anything dirty, but how they had managed to fall asleep nearly on top of the other she tilted her head to the side in thought and confusion, glancing behind her where she had sat and saw her blanket she had used still there and rumpled like she had been dragged or she had helped in scooting over. Sleep cuddling?

_Like a child does with a teddy bear._

The red head wiped at her mouth with the hem of her shirt without thinking that it revealed her stomach and part of her purple bra. She was too busy thinking and trying to get the drool away. Crawling on hands and knees to where she had been stationed she took up her cell phone she placed there, flipped it open and found no calls and no text messages a little disappointed. So Dean didn't even try and see how things were going. Heart deflating a little at that and she flipped it shut, pocketing it and biting her bottom lip lightly. Donnie figured he wouldn't bother if he was busy or he might later...

_Don't get my hopes up, it's even worse when I try and convince myself that maybe he likes me back and we can maybe be more than friends. Yeah, not going to happen._

She glanced at Sam who was awake and in the corner, an audible sound of liquid falling into a metal container led credence to the fact he was going to the bathroom. Food. She would get food and drinks and come back down and be on patrol again.

_And talk to Trent more. Last night was nice just talking despite the connection buzzing on my skin like I was lying on a washing machine or dryer during its cycle._

Donnie stood and stretched as she walked towards the door, over the threshold and noticing how both of the men were looking at her like she was abandoning them. Like a puppy and cat with their ears pulled back in cuteness. She almost said 'awwww' at the sight but instead said she'd be right back. Heading up the stairs and into the kitchen, opening the fridge and searching inside her cell rang, causing her head to hit the freezer door above. Pulling back she rubbed the spot and winced, flipping the phone open, caller ID flashing she answered. "Hey. What's up lone ranger?" Taking up two cans of soda, lunchmeats, cheese, veggies, condiments and putting that as well as a loaf of bread into a basket full of newspapers old and dusty. She took up a bottle of whiskey for her, a bag of chips and finally some apples, oranges and bananas before stopping. She'd finish the conversation before lugging that down.

_"Heh, Lone Ranger? I kinda like the ring of that,"_ Dean's voice smiled into the receiver. Donnie's voice provided him some relief and she sounded just fine, alive with all limbs accounted for. "Me and Bobby are still tied up here with the locals, how are things on your end?" he asked stepping away from the others and through the door to the outside, it was damn cold out there and Dean's breath came out in thick plumes of vapor as he shrugged further into his jacket.

There wasn't anyway he could have called her earlier not with what he was doing, he didn't want her hearing it in his voice and this morning he took the time to calm down and come back to himself before he decided to call her to check up on her and Sam. If it wasn't for Bobby vouching for him the other three hunters would have beat the shit out of him for what he did, putting their fears of him aside for anger to take it's place, they might have wanted to rearrange his face but seeing his handiwork first glance gave them all an idea of what he was capable of with the right tool in his hands.

_Closing one eye she had the other look upwards as if looking at her head. _"Sam's doing good, he's eating and getting better actually. Um..."

_What about Trent? Should I even tell him? I can't betray Dean and I can't betray Trent._

"Nothing much else is going on besides the fact that you called me and made me hit my head on the freezer. Just woke up and trying to get food in order."

_And..._

"That's it."

_I'm not okay._

"I'm fine."

_I wish that you were here, but that's never going to happen with us._

"When do you think that you and Bobby will be back? So then I can tell Sam and know when to expect you two." 

888

Taking care of business, he had slept pretty well despite the lonely dream. Nothing, just memories here and there and swinging on that swing in Ekalaka. Zipping up he turned back to where he had set himself up yesterday and sat down. Looking at Trent, Sam wondered things. He might have been dead asleep, but he could hear small things invade his time on the swings with their voices. Nothing concrete. So whatever was said he didn't understand. Already he was believing he was getting better. No dreams about Von really noticing him, no hallucinations which made him think he was honestly going to be okay. Sam felt deep inside for any traces of demon blood and he couldn't find any. The only thing there was guilt. Loads of it.

_When Dean gets back I'm going to have to tell him what I did. I'm going to have to tell him that I killed those three people. They weren't necessarily important people either, I remember that. They were living on the streets. Runaway foster kids that wanted to get away from their placement homes that were horrible. If anything I did them a favor but it didn't mean it was right or just. Dean's going to look at me like a monster instead of brother when he finds that out._

888

Bobby drove while Dean finished his call with Donnie to check up, hearing the light in his voice when he spoke to her made him hurt all the more inside. What had happened earlier...he had to vouch for Dean, the thinking was reasonable on a level that all of them hadn't been on. The fact was that Alison was going to kill again, she started killing when the rest did. They were on their way to the pack's lair now, loaded and ready to take care of business. He just wished that they could have spared that boy despite his threats. The sight reminded him of Trevor. Young, in love and in the entire world all he wanted was the girl.

Two bodies with heads severed, hearts cut out and burned for measure, Bobby was wondering if he was getting too old for this job, especially when the job became this. When Dean finished up the conversation he refused to talk, he wasn't mad at Dean, he was just damn scared and sad. Continuing the drive, they arrived, parking and exiting to not give them a heads up. The arguing from them coming from inside a nice big house a little bit away from others. It was time to save the town and a whole lot of people. Locked and loaded all the hunters moved in, ready to take no survivors.

Dean had stayed silent during the rest of the car ride, it had been mutual, after what he had done Dean wasn't in the mood for chatting. His mind had to stay on the task ahead, everything was fine back at Bobby's and that gave him something to look forward to when he got back another lie to surround himself with. His ailing lycanthropic brother and a red headed witch that he had dragged through the mud of the violently supernatural just to get what he wanted out of it. What right did he have to do that to her, to take away any normalcy that she may have had? Ducking down into the ratty tangled brush Dean watched the group move ahead while he and Bobby stayed low and went around back. Whatever they were talking about in the house it was noisy and heated from here Dean could hear some dishes breaking, if they house was already in an uproar there was hope that it would be easier to break into. That also meant that the werewolves would be all fired up for a fight, adrenaline racing through their bodies like a hamsters on crack.

The attack was organized chaos, the three hunters coming through the front came as a shock to the pack and as they approached them Dean and Bobby came through the back. All adults, no kids, that would make the slaughter easier on Dean's conscience, though they were all monsters kids were always the hardest to put down. The number of pack members surprised him; the second last question he should have asked Alison before he snuffed her was how many people were in her big fuzzy family. They were outnumbered and once the pack of Ihmissusi organized themselves the close confines of the rooms they had separated into worked closer to their advantage than that of the hunters.

Snarls and growls preceded a panicked human scream, Dean couldn't see but it sounded like one of the other three was on his last hunt if his buddies didn't get to him in time. Unloading on one Dean clipped another on the shoulder that was heading after Bobby only to get tackled to the ground with a snapping jaw in his face and claws digging into his chest. He cried out in pain and was dragged down the hall leaving a bloody trail on the wood paneling, he had lost his gun somewhere along the way and was left to defend himself with his fists getting in as many punches to the guy's face as he could to get his mouth away from his neck.

Bobby was fighting, he was trying to take down as many as possible with bullets to the hearts, machete's and tranquilizers in case they didn't die and they needed to complete the task later. The rest of the hunters were either successful or going down with their final screams. He had watched a pant leg disappear around a corner to the hallway with a bloody trail and the yell that came from that direction told him it was Dean. Taking care of at least two more in a quick fashion he hurried over, missing one trying to stop him and finally getting there. Finding Dean trying to take care of it, Bobby crept up and used the tranquilizer, then if he accidentally shot Dean there wouldn't be so much damage.

The dart hit the target with another dart following and it was out, releasing it's jaw and walking up to it to check if Dean was safe. He was healing. Taking the silver bullet, two in the chest, the machete to the neck, they'd finish up with the rest of the stuff later. It was time to get back to the game. "Ya alright Dean?"

Bobby heard his answer and start to gather himself back up before they both headed up the stairs, there were some that had to be upstairs and once up they found what they had been missing. Adults were downstairs fighting while the teenagers were upstairs packing. The elder found it hard doing this even as they screamed instead of fought, some of the male teenagers who were trying to look fierce got shot fast leaving the girls frightened. Apology was on his face as he slowly raised the gun and took them out with Dean by his side. After the top floor was clear, Bobby felt already weary, he wanted this done with. The sounds coming from downstairs they rushed to find a few of theirs left standing and cornering a big black wolf with amber orbs as it snarled at them.

As soon as Dean's gun went off the thing was down and dead. Now it was heart and head time, then a pyre. Then they had to check the town over once more to stay a bit to make sure that there would be no more killings. The pack was a big one but he wanted to put to rest that they were the only pack that was here and not the pack split up. Bobby glanced around the place at the carnage. His heart broke and it broke even more when bodies were dragged down from upstairs. He did that. Bobby needed to go home and forget about this as best he could and have many drinks.

They were all dead and the house reeked of spilled blood and gunpowder, even Dean who had grown used to such smells found it stifling. The bodies were moved out two at a time each man taking one corpse by the ankles and the wrists, one would have been watching out for monsters or cops but Tom didn't make it, half of him was in the living room and his intestines lead to his other half in the kitchen. Jonah was trying to find a way to blame Dean for that, he still had a hate on for him since he ganked the Ihmissusi couple back at the warehouse because according to him they could have been useful. According to Dean, Jonah was a moron and Tom was a damn amateur that shouldn't have been on this big of a hunt otherwise he would have still been alive.

They piled the bodies up with firewood and gasoline making two large pyres one next to the other, the flame was quick to catch, eating through the wood and cloth of the werewolves and then cooking their flesh till it charred and fell off the bone. Dean and Bobby had built enough pyres between the two of them to know the wood to body to gas ratio, the bodies would be mixed with the ash of the wood within a few hours and there would be no proof aside from the mess the house had been left in. Dean watched the flames dance into the morning sky, taking care of a hunt like this during the day was a little unorthodox but what had to be done had to be done with creepy crawlies coming out of the woodwork every which way.

Many hunters had to work outside of their comfort zones and expertise just to get a cap on the population explosion of creatures and within the last two months many had died on both sides. Things were getting worse the world over, Dean had been keeping up with the news he had no other choice but to and Bobby had insisted because it was his job to help the hunting community get the info they needed to fight the good fight. Earthquakes had been rocking the coasts and some volcanoes in the Philipines were getting grumpy and biligerent and in less than three days a class five hurricane was going to be hitting New Foundland. In all of this Dean wondered where Cas was and if he knew about any of this, chances were he did he was an angel after all and that meant Dean intended to contact him to see if he had any inside info.

888

Hanging up the cell and pocketing it, Donnie took up the basket and headed back downstairs. Dean had said that they should be back within two days at the most just to finish and make sure that everything was done. Donnie re-entered the Were den in the panic room, went over to her spot and placed the whiskey in the cradle of her folded legs while placing in front of her the deli selections for them to start building sandwiches, taking up chips and sodas as they went. It was nice to talk to Dean, there was something that she could pick up on but she wasn't going to think too much on it. Right now she was taking care of two Were's, nursing one back to mental health and the other sobriety with emotional issues...who she happened to have a connection to that was yet to be completed.

_I need to stop thinking about these things._

Sam moved in on the meats, bread and cheese. Making a Scooby style sandwich that his brother would have down pat, even shoving some chips onto it before heading back with drink, main course and an apple. He was grateful that Donnie wasn't treating them like animals, but also that she was trying to get past the fact of what he had done and said to her. He didn't want her to fear him and he didn't want her to hate him either. She actually smiled at him at his appetite when he dug into the delicacy. Eying the whiskey she brought with her he wondered why she was such an alcoholic. Dean loved whiskey down to the core and Donnie appeared to just as much if not more with her inhaling one bottle after the other.

_I hope they figure things out._

"Thanks Donnie, this is really nice and really good."

"No problem. I don't cook so take-out, sandwiches, salads and the occasional microwavable items are as good as I get," Donnie replied, not bothering on making her sandwich as she just ate one slice of bread, tearing it up and popping ham and swiss cheese right after. Uncapping her whiskey she took a pull and set it beside her. The only problem was that though this was perfect, a good thing, there was always something to ruin it.

When she set her bottle down and looked at Trent she landed on his chest where something had spilled and he was cleaning it off. Staring. Donnie's heart picked up and she felt her mouth dry out. Back slamming into the wall she was up against where she was sitting she needed to hold herself there. She knew that they were both watching her and wondering. Heat rolled down to her core and she eagerly reached for her bottle again, closing her eyes and tipping it down her throat.

Sam had felt the heat, had felt something snap against his skin but it wasn't for him, it was Donnie's energy and Trent's mingling in the air and cracked down on anything like it was a bullwhip. "Donnie are you _sure_ you're okay?"

Donnie ignoring him took the bottle away from her lips, never letting it go as she stood, taking Trent's hand and pulling him up and to the door. When he couldn't leave with her she stared at it and placed her hand on the barrier, finding the workings of it and a niche in the barrier for a way to allow passage out, she took it. But only for Trent. She pulled him up the stairs and finally stopped in the hallway to the front door to turn and bring him into the study to sit. "I let you out. I'm going to let you go. I really like you Trent, you are a great guy and one hell of a friend for someone to have, but...I don't trust myself...around you. And that isn't saying that you will take advantage of me I'm saying that this connection that is riding between us, I know you know it, is going to get the best of one of us or both. But...I'm trying to avoid what it needs to happen."

Her hand on his hand never let go and she found herself staring at it now, it was lightly in his and she wondered what he felt like when he was touching her forearm, touching her cheek, kissing her. Donnie set the bottle down and closed her eyes. Hearts weren't meant to handle such conflicting matters and the screaming pain that she knew it would cause her for this man if he left and she didn't know why.

"I can tell you love someone else and I like someone else..." Realization hit her.

_Who might never love or like us back._

"What is your take on this?"

Trent's brow furrowed in thought or maybe it was confusion. "I think you're right." He awkwardly adjusted the covers he had been quick enough to wrap around him when Donnie pulled him out of the room. Looking up at her his orbs warm and gentle with not the coldest edge to his voice, "I don't want to complicate anything or make anyone do anything they don't want to do. I think it's good that I leave, whatever this is between us I don't think we're ready for it."

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze then let it slide from his grasp settling both of his hands on his knees once he secured the blanket around his waist. This still didn't seem as hard on him as it did on Donnie but that wasn't to say that Trent wasn't feeling the affects of the connection, especially because he had slept so close to her last night, breathing her in and feeling her skin against his. With so much that was going it was a good idea that they split, maybe somewhere down the road...a big maybe, they would see each other then and things could be different, right now it was a bad idea for so many reasons.

"If it's not too much to ask I'd be thankful for some pants and maybe a shirt, not that I mind a nice cool breeze, but strutting around in nothing but a white sheet is gonna garner some serious unwanted attention," he smiled at her with a light laugh, the ridiculous image of him in his head running around in a white sheet like it was some kind of toga or dress. Coming back to serious he quickly licked his lower lip waiting patiently and expectantly for Donnie to reply.

_Forgot to give him pants last night...smart move._

"Um yeah, just um...come with me. I'm sure Bobby has some extra clothes that he doesn't mind parting with or hasn't used. You could probably help me with that if it smells different."

Donnie went for the stairs and heard him follow, she couldn't remember when she got up there which one Bobby's room was. Walking down and guessing it happened to be a different guest bedroom but there were boxes in there labeled with things like clothes. Bingo. Donnie opened one and pulled out a pair of jeans, boxers, socks and a t-shirt and set them on the bed. Inhaling she went to go and exit but stopped to turn and face him.

"Trent...I want you to know that I never said that being with you in that way isn't what I want to do. I'm not just talking about the connection between us, I'm talking about me personally and it's not looks either. You really do have a heart of gold in there; you don't hide it as well as you think you do. But I can tell that you are afraid of falling in love with another woman or even just being with another woman. I'll tell you something that I learned from my mother and I don't think you know, because not many Were's do...pure blood witches, when they find their Were...we are meant to help you with your control and the same goes for you helping us with ours. It's what draws a lot of our kinds together so much plus other things." A beat. "I do hope we meet again somewhere down the many long and twisting roads. I would love to help you and to maybe get to know you better...and maybe this connection won't be so scary then. Maybe both our hearts will move on and we can be good friends."

Donnie hadn't realized she had started to have tears run down her face, her voice had grown thick with moisture as she spoke and she gave a small smile as she wiped away the tears and exited to let him change. Shutting the door once outside she felt her whole being just shatter. Somewhere deep inside she kept thinking while speaking to him that she was losing a piece of her, that it was dying and abandoning her even though she was the one to let it go. And also thinking that deep down she was releasing the one thing that might have actually helped her get over the fact that Dean and her would never be more than what she yearned deep inside. Trent needed to go before Dean and Bobby got back. Two days. One for farewells and the other gave her time to get herself back into line.

Her back on the wall beside the door, she gave into the crying but kept it mute while she slid down the wall and sat. Donnie hated that she had this connection but she didn't want him to think that despite her actions towards feelings with him she didn't want him in her life or that if they did something it would be a mistake because it wouldn't. _How did my life get so fucked up? I keep easily getting my heart given away and then chiseled to death. I'm not much for protecting myself when it comes to men. Snap out of this Donnie. I'm stronger than this._

888

A painful twinge struck Trent's heart and he pressed his fingertips to his chest as he looked over his shoulder at the closed door. Donnie was on the other side of that door and she very upset, Trent didn't want his feelings to get the better of him but he was empathetic to what she was going through. However remorseful Trent was adamant in his decision to leave, he was restless and his heart was heavy and the world was too harsh and tumultuous right now to entertain the notion of romancing. He loved Von too much to bury his memories of her and move on from places his heart was unwilling to step from, she was alive and he wanted to find her.

Pulling the musty shirt over his head Trent shuffled hesitantly to the door and opened it finding Donnie trying to clean the tears off her face. "C'mon it doesn't look that bad does it?" he pouted pinching at the faded grey tee and shifting in the jeans that were an inch or so too short. He didn't want her to be sad; he couldn't bear the sight of a pretty girl crying.

Donnie stood and cleared her face of water even though it was evident she had been crying. Giving a small laugh and smile she shook her head. "No, but it'll get you through until you can get back to where you are staying to change clothes." Following him down the stairs and to the front door she watched him exit. "Be safe out there Trent. It was nice meeting you."

888

March 26th, 2009**  
><strong>11:23AM**  
><strong>New Moon

So things had been going kind of slow with everyone since Dean, Bobby and Sorcha came back early Saturday, and now that it was Wednesday things were starting to pick up. Sam was getting better which meant that it was putting more trust into things but he was still in the panic room. Not yet, but soon. Donnie was trying to learn how to shoot a gun in the salvage yard and hiccuping while doing so...she blamed the gun. Sam heard the whole debacle from where he was inside and it made him laugh a bit at how hard she was trying. He understood, she didn't want to have a run in with something again and not be able to protect herself in only two ways. Her abilities and knives. Combat wasn't her thing either.

Donnie had to admit that when Dean got back she was a little detached from him, still thinking about Trent and that was because she missed talking to him. It was hard on her to try and get over him leaving knowing it was for the best. It really put things into perspective for her though...Dean and her were just friends and though she wanted more he would always be thinking about someone else or something else. Donnie focused on learning, asking Bobby how to do things rather than Dean except for maybe today. Today she had to ask for someone to help her this time, Bobby's quick tips were helpful but she needed someone to be there.

So before she would ask she wanted to see Sam, how he was doing. Dean checked on the younger Winchester regularly but Donnie had become more comfortable around him since Trent breaking in. They talked, became kind of friends and got around the whole werewolf attack thing on her. Donnie appreciated that. She would always heed Astarte's warning though to stay away from the wolf and that he was hers, but she wasn't thinking about it that way she was cautious yes, but she wanted to be friends. Not enemies or afraid of him.

Sam sat right against the barrier with Donnie in front of him and they were smiling and laughing. He hadn't had any hallucinations since he saw Von through Donnie that night with Trent. It was nice to have someone to talk to that wasn't his brother who kept asking how he was doing, feeling, and if he was getting better and the silent question if he was going to wolf out again and not be Sam anymore. Sam cared about his brother but he needed something to talk to besides that. Like right now, he was talking with Donnie about how her exercises were going with fighting, shooting and her abilities. She was training like a warrior but she was still fragile and needed help. He would help but being a werewolf he gave her disadvantages.

"Besides all that, anything good on television?" Sam asked.

"Really? No. There never is anything good on. I mean unless you count in the re-runs of Mythbusters then yeah there is but otherwise no."

Another laugh and a creak from the stairs, someone coming down they both turned their attention to Dean coming down to feed Sam and again ask for the thousandth time since breakfast. Sam and Donnie stood and Donnie turned away. Could she really ask Dean? Hell she had only spoken to him on the cell phone that one day and then a few hello's and fine's here and there. Donnie hated that she was being distant but she kept getting a feeling that maybe she wasn't the only one and that he was doing it as well.

Sam watched her go before his eyes landed on Dean. The comment was there that he was waiting for. 'Getting a little cozy there with Donnie.' Or something along those lines. "We're friends, we've had chances to talk more and she doesn't feed me raw steak like you have been at lunch since you came back. You know I do like human food again. And before you ask, yes I'm fine. I'm actually more than fine. I'm great. I've never felt better."

_And how are you? Since you came back you've looked like shit._

"How long do I have to be in here for? I know that Bobby and Sorcha as well as you can easily watch me without me being in here with a bucket to piss in. And I know that Donnie needs a sparring partner and a trainer for weaponry in the handgun variety."

888

Donnie tied her hair into a ponytail, headed out into the salvage yard with a gun and some rounds. Coming to some cans and bottles that were lined up on a fence, never having been shot down. She raised the handgun, removed the safety and as she was aiming she hiccupped. Setting her feet and shoulders she went to try again to hiccup once more. Cursing she aimed and fired as another hiccup came her way. It was another day of nerves getting to her. She hated guns but she wanted to know how to use them. The more she knew the better she would do out there to help. After this it was over to a sack of packing peanuts to kick and punch.

_I'm so pathetic, many would laugh at me right now._

888

Dean didn't know why Sam was bitching about the raw steaks he ate them up just like they were cooked, but if Sam wanted human food then Dean would give it to him, truthfully Dean was relieved that Sam was asking for human food because to him that was a sign that Sam was getting back to his old self. The elder Winchester had been worrying the whole time since he had been gone, fearing the worst and imagining the horrible, the Ihmissusi were man eaters as all werewolves were and if Sam ever killed a human for food and sport Dean wasn't sure what he would do.

"We haven't been here to watch you Sam, the whole world's gone to shit in case you haven't noticed and as for being Donnie's sparring partner you can forget it, she isn't the only one that needs to get into shape." Dean gave his brother a knowing glance.

_You think I look like shit have you seen yourself lately?___

"Until Bobby and me decide you're fine you're stayin' here and trust me I want to believe you're fine Sam, just give it a couple more days."

Sam understood. Really he did. It was all about trust and so he nodded his head and said his patent 'yeah okay'. "In that case, can I have those slices of pizza that Bobby stashed in the fridge two days ago? You don't need to heat it up I can eat it cold. Toss me a soda from your left would you? Thanks. And...Dean...be careful with Donnie. She um...she can't shoot a gun to save her life...you'll find out." He actually chuckled knowing how her hiccups sounded and how each time it caused her to miss just from the sounds and cursing. "Good luck and Dean. I'm glad you're still out there doing the job when I can't."

Taking the soda from his brother he glanced down at himself from what Dean had said about Donnie not being the only one out of shape. Furrowing his brows he thought he was fine. He was burning off whatever he ate but he did need maybe a few good long runs around the room. Bench press some items, abdominal work and push-ups.

"I'll get right on getting back in shape," he commented, popping the top and taking a long hearty gulp of the soda. Caffeine for him right now was better than alcohol.

"You do that," Dean added.

His brother better have picked up the hint he had dropped, he needed Sam to be there mentally as well as physically what he also needed from his brother was honesty. He had seen the remains of blood soaked dish rags and paper towels in the garbage bins outside and on the iron walls of the panic room there were smudges of metallic brown but his brother was playing don't ask, don't tell, all of that blood couldn't have come from Sam and if someone else had been in the room that meant that Donnie knew about it too.

_Why is everyone lying to me an' treating me like some kind of moron?_

"And another thing Sam, you want to try to keep something from me you might want to clean up a lot better than you did to do it." He ticked his gaze and finger to the room pointing out the stains that were missed covering the walls and floor.

Dean wasn't sure he even wanted to hear Sam's excuse, he wasn't in the mood to sit down for story time he had work to do, training Donnie and finding Von, Sam only knew about the former if he knew they were had been searching for Von he would be on Dean to let him out more than he was now. Sam's hearing did have it's limits and Bobby and Dean were more than willing to work within those, what Sam didn't know would get him on the mend sooner because he wouldn't be distracted and pushing himself to the edge he had already fallen over. They were both searching for the signs and Dean had been calling to Castiel non-stop with no reply from fluffy wings, but what signs Bobby wasn't looking for Dean was, they were all around. Dean knew Astarte better than anyone, wherever she was she was just getting started; she had been trapped in Hell for centuries who wouldn't think she needed a stretch?

"Dean..." Sam sighed but his brother wasn't listening, in fact he just walked away.

He glanced back and he hoped that when they told Dean that he wouldn't be too hard on Donnie. I mean she handled it pretty well and it wasn't her fault that Trent came in and beat the crap out of him. She wasn't here, no one was here. Sam turned around and headed to the cot, sitting down and placing the soda can on the floor. He understood what his brother was talking about though. He was flabby in ways more than physical. Sam had been mentally screwed up and over that it was a wonder that he would be back to semi-normal. The hunt, finding Von as she had gone missing after being resurrected, fixing the brother bond with Dean, fixing things with Bobby...a long list was growing. Dean wasn't going to come back down, he was going to have Bobby give him the food. After all if he came down too soon he would have to hear Sam try and explain himself.

_It's sad how much I know my brother more than I think I know myself._


	25. Chapter 25

_'Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go. I wanna be sedated. Nothing to do, nowhere to go-oh. I wanna be sedated. Just get me to the airport and put me on a plane, hurry, hurry, hurry. Before I go insane. I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain. Oh no oh, oh, oh, oh.'_

The Ramones played on the mini radio she had turned on to help her concentrate, even tried singing with them but Donnie kept hiccuping. "I'm fucking cursed with inability to use a damn gun." Hiccup! Donnie placed the safety on the gun and tossed it at the can, when it hit and went down with it onto the dirt she stared at it with an offended open mouth look. Stalking over to it she picked it up, reset the can and swore she heard someone laughing. Her head went to the air to listen, turning around in a circle before landing on Dean who was walking towards her. "It's not funny! You are naturally talented with this kind of thing, guns give me nerves like too much sugar does to a little kid to make them hiccup. Did you come here to laugh or come here to watch me struggle?"

"I came here to give you some pointers," Dean grinned unable to hold back the laugh.

Donnie really was terrible and she wasn't showing any signs of getting better. They had been over it a dozen times, Dean and Bobby would switch off thinking it was how they taught that was the problem when really Donnie just didn't have a knack for guns. Dean laughed at her aim not her fear of firearms, in fact having a healthy respect for the weapon in question was a smart thing to have.

"You still haven't got your breathing right." He moved behind her lifting up her hands with the gun his left cupping hers under the magazine and his right placed over hers with her finger over the trigger guard. "Make sure to keep your elbow bent just a bit for the recoil." He put his chest a hair's breadth away from her back and guided her finger over the trigger. "Think of nothing but hitting that can, breathe out while you squeeze the trigger in one smooth motion."

_Got my breathing right and you think being this close will help me?_

She hiccuped and then held her breath, trying to think of something else that wasn't the fact that Dean was nearly up against her back or that he was holding her hands with the gun like a normal male showing a girl how to play pool or some sport. Donnie really concentrated this time though and she really did because she didn't want to have to think too much on bodies and things that were connected to bodies. Inhaling she stared and exhaled slowly, albeit kind of shaky, but she fired and she fired with her eyes shut. Not good but when she heard the ting of the can flying and then landing on the ground, she peeked one eye open and she let shock and happiness come over her face. Coming away from Dean she let him hold onto the gun as she turned to face him and jumped up and down with a happy and triumphant yell like men watching a football game instead of a squeal or scream.

Facing the can she stuck her finger out at it. "I GOT YOU! MWAHAHA! SUCKA! Yes! Yes! Yes! I. Diiiiid it!" Stopping on her jumping she caught her breathing but never stopped smiling. "That felt good. Let's work on combat, I don't want to try again only to get disappointed right away."

_Donnie St. Lewis...yes I am a freaky chick._

Smiling, walking past Dean with a hop in her step and humming while moving towards the shed where the big blue fighting mat was placed. When there she took one side of the mat, taking a little time to stretch since she already got jumping out of the way so no jumping jacks. Down and up and she couldn't stop being happy. "Ready when you are." That was when the smile began to falter.

_This is going to be harder. I'm going to have bruises._

Dean was not impressed, maybe he'd have more respect for her small success if he hadn't guided her aim and if she had had the guts to keep her eyes open, you never ever closed your eyes when you shot a gun, that was a big no, no. So when she practically skipped to the sparring mat Dean met her there with a grim expression set on his features, he was always ready for a fight as they came more and more often in his life. When Donnie came at him Dean caught her fist and gave her a jab to the stomach, nothing too harsh at first but not anywhere near playful.

He followed his motion towards her, another jab and when she made to punch he grabbed her arm pulled her towards him with her momentum hooked his arm under her shoulder and flung her behind him. Dean spun around once she heard her body hit the mat and he stood there waiting for her to get up, he didn't want to kick her while she was down seriously kicking her ass would come momentarily. Donnie wasn't taking this as seriously as Dean would have liked her to, he didn't want to give her a false sense of accomplishment so he went in hard, he wasn't going to half ass it with her training. She would learn from the bruises or she wouldn't learn at all, in either case it would a lesson on how well equipped she was to deal with the trials ahead.

Donnie winced as she stood, shook out her hands and then decided that she was in over her head. She shouldn't have been so happy about one lucky shot and most likely she would have gotten herself killed if it was a real life situation and she closed her eyes. Alex had told her and others had that shutting them when shooting a gun was bad. The red head looked at Dean and assessed her situation as well as the perimeters, that was when fire engines blared in her head. Especially when Dean looked like he was ready to act and when he did she made a sound of surprise before deciding it was no longer fight or flight it was flight. No doubt about it she wasn't ready for this, there was no way she was cut out and she had no faith in herself. She wanted to try, she was trying but Dean had years of experience whereas she had zip and a few days.

Running around the mat she managed to avoid the hunter making sounds of avoiding like one would playing flag football trying to avoid hands from getting a flag on the waist or tackling her. "Yeuh." What kind of sound was that? Donnie didn't care, she just was focused on getting away and surviving.

_I'm not Alex. I'm not good at this sort of thing._

This was ridiculous and Dean was getting fed up, Donnie was running around like some headless yahoo instead of sucking it up and fighting back. Her second time around him he reached over his shoulder grabbed her shirt to take her off balance and when she teetered towards him he hooked his arm under her shoulder and hauled her up and over his head continuing with the momentum and sending her crashing to the mat. Dean twisted her arm behind her back and drove his knee into her kidney, he could have done some serious damage if he wasn't holding back but she needed this warning.

"You think this is some kind of game? People are dying out there and if this was real you'd be dead along with them," he breathed out hard and angry, then he tried to calm his voice and licking his lips said, "I don't want that to happen to you."

Exhaling she felt that power surge inside her. It did not like being hit, whether physically or verbally and Dean definitely hit her verbally with that statement. Eyes red and amethyst she turned her face more towards him while it was pressed to the mat and she glared at him. If anything, pure blood witches were like perfectly crafted sleeper cells. One trigger and they were forces to be reckoned with, Von more than others. The lights flickered and made audible sounds like a generator having problems. "I do not think this is a game. I am aware that people are dying out there and how real the results would be."

Donnie's voice had gone dark and she rolled over with such force and her aura around her zeroed in on the intruder in her bubble and pushed outward making him fly back just a bit as she sat up and stared at him. His words hurt her, like he was talking to a child and she wasn't happy about it either. Pain and anger. Her power had been shut away and was coming back and so it took that pin to be removed from the grenade for her to become a lethal weapon. Standing up she walked over to him and held her hand over him to hold him down, fingers splayed in the air. Part of her wanted to hurt him for bruising her and marking her like those boys did in High School. But she held back.

"You need to figure out something. You say you don't want me to die like you did now, but do you realize how push and pull you are being? I can't take it. One minute you are my friend and the next you're distant. I've not been best example either of that but I went through rape Dean while you watched." Her eyes watered and went down her face like blue flames before extinguishing off her cheeks. "I can protect myself Dean, but _this_ is the only way I know how and even then I'm scared of it. A witch's full level of power can be frightening to them more than others. I wanted to learn the normal way, by fighting and being handy with weapons but I'm not Alex. I'm not you or your brother. I'm trying my hardest and..." Letting her hand whip around when she turned, using the anger inside to hurt something other than Dean. The punch was in the air but the impact hit far away into a useless car. "Training isn't meant to be easy, but all I ask is that you take it slow with me so then I _can _learn the moves instead of being handed them at full speed. I need to learn how to block them once I've learned them."

Donnie paused and faced him her eyes still red and amethyst.

Gesturing to them and herself she let her hands fall to her sides. "Being like I am now, can get ugly. You've seen that scar on my back...did you think I just let the ones who did it to me go without a warning? I'm a weapon like this. When I'm not, I'm a flailing goose running around on a sparring mat, a hiccuping no good shooter and an emotional red head that seriously needs to toughen up and shut up. I want my friend back and not someone that I'm just sparring with."

This conversation was bordering on emotional levels Dean was not comfortable in exploring at any depth. He heard her loud and clear however, nodding to show he understood though he didn't like her bringing up how she was raped and he watched like he never tried to do anything about it when he had, it came as a harsh slap in the face and he tried not to show that it affected him. On the outside he knew people would think that was the reason why he was distancing himself when in fact it wasn't, it came in unfortunately bad timing when the real reason was though he liked Donnie and cared about her it would be a mistake to be anything more than what they already were and with the falling apart around them he couldn't afford the time to become romantically involved with someone, not again.

The involvement of Astarte had not helped matters and for a brief minute his thoughts drifted ambivalently to the Goddess, wondering if it was any good to try and find her and if it would be better to leave her be. It was his own fear of what would happen if they encountered her but he knew it would be better if they found her before she found them, maybe Von was in there as a separate being and he was being a fool for thinking otherwise. "Okay, we'll start out with some really basic moves to get your coordination down, just remember this isn't some pansy assed dance, the bad guy isn't gonna wait for you to move and they're definitely not going to come at you with synchronized choreography, most of the time you'll be improvising."

Dean had them move to opposite sides of the mat, landing a move was more about speed and balance than strength and knowing that would come in handy more for Donnie because no offense to the woman but Dean had several pounds of muscle on her that he could easily use to overpower any of her moves unless she acted fast. First things first, this would be like a dance he would teach her how to block and when and when to launch an attack back at her opponent. Dean had to call memories back from the time that he and Sam were kids and their dad made them fight, except they never had a fancy mat to protect them from getting nasty cuts and scraps on dirt, gravel and twigs, the pain from falling and the struggle to get back up were all part of the training. Sam still carried those scars while Dean no longer had the physical trace of a hard life thanks to the angels, his skin was soft and grand spanking new like a baby's ass.

888

**April 16, 2009 Thursday  
>Chicago, Illinois<br>Bluebird Motel: Room 8  
>1:32PM<strong>

They had been going for weeks. Donnie had gained bruises from training at Bobby's that whole week and a half while Sam was getting better. It was non-stop and she was getting better. Though the gun training wasn't coming along still she decided with Dean that they best just not let her have guns and stick to what she knew best. Simple and easy. She didn't know everything and was still in need of much work they had continued to train and train and finally let Sam out when deemed safe and healthier, to train him back up as well. They left Bobby's to go on a hunt to train them nearby. Donnie was okay, Sam was by far more skilled and it appeared as if nothing had really happened to him that he'd just took a nap and woke up to be perfect once again.

That hunt took a whole week as well and now here they were, Bobby had called with a lead in New Haven, Connecticut for an asylum. Wasn't much but the lead told stories that it was very possible for Astarte to be there. Donnie was a little unsure, it made her uneasy especially with how more things got amplified to extreme's with demons, creatures and the like, acting up as they were heading East. It wasn't panning out. Now here they were, Donnie and Dean were on better terms. There was no way she was thinking about him in any context other than friends. Not after Trent and she hadn't told him about what had exactly happened and neither had Sam about the panic room. Dean knew...But he didn't officially know the story. Neither was he going to know and he seemed a little fine with it from the outside.

Sam sat at the laptop researching what they were hunting. There was no way they were getting around it to get to where they needed and wanted to be. In those past weeks he had been getting saner, more on a normal level. More like himself. The only down part was that he had two hallucinations he tried to keep Dean and Donnie from knowing. It happened when they were in the room or around him but he had acted okay like he was trying to ignore and watch the scenery. He could feel that something was different and when that call came with that lead...there was no denying that was what he felt. He longed to find her and hold her in his arms again. However when it was mentioned different reactions came onto Dean's face and Donnie's as they had been informed. Like they should be scared or worried. Even if it wasn't much of a reaction, Sam could hear Dean's heart race and the smell that came with certain emotions wafting off of his older brother.

He sighed. The hunt was the usual. Killings had happened and it was time to figure out what it was. "Donnie have you-"

"Got anything? No."

"Well we have missing people, we have people who were said to have gone insane and died after that with some pretty gruesome damages with something like venom in their system from autopsy reports even with chunks missing, and then of course the people that just died on the spot with again chunks missing."

Donnie looked up from her book she had got from the library and stared at him in thought. "So what has venom that eats people and kidnaps them? Many things."

"And it's not sticking to any sort of gender specifically and neither is it appearing to be human-."

"We don't know that, it could be. And if you brush it off who will be dead?"

"Since when do you know so much about this stuff?"

"Since I've been training! I'm like a walking book of supernatural knowledge."

_This is ridiculous we are fighting._

"Join the club, apparently I'm an encyclopedia of weirdness," Sam commented.

"Would you two motormouths quiet down, I think I got somethin'." Dean tweaked the volume on the police scanner and resumed listening in which he had been doing for hours with no luck. What was coming through now sounded like their kind of thing and if it was this thing had no qualms about doing it's business in the middle of the day, this was worth checking out. "C'mon Sam, time to suit up." Dean was already pulling out his cheap black suit from the plastic bag inside his duffel not waiting on Sam to do the same. Once they were ready to head out the door Dean turned to Donnie. "Donnie you keep researching to find out what this thing is, we'll call you if we need to bring out the big guns." He winked and was out the door with his car keys in his hand and Sam walking around to shotgun. Hopes were high that this was something that could lead them to the creature they were after so they could kill it and get on to getting to the Asylum in Connecticut.

888

**170th on Ridge Pointe  
>1:50pm<strong>

The black '67 Impala pulled up about a block away from the scene, yellow police tape decorating the perimeter to keep the curious bystanders at bay. Flashing their Fed badges the brothers easily made it past the tape and police and to the core of the crime scene where the mutilated and half eaten body of a large man awaited them. Covering his mouth Dean suppressed the need to gag with a choking sound, the man's intestines along with his last meal were coiled on the floor like too much spaghetti on a kid's fork but it wasn't so much the sight as the smell that penetrated every sense until it burned. Rotted meat, bile and vomit with the undertone of defecation. Before Dean could get any words in a CSI walked up to them his face looking just as affected as theirs.

"You two see anything like this before? This has got to be the worst I've seen in my entire career," he lamented to the two agents staring at the corpse with disgust and pity.

"Gotta agree with ya there," Dean commented with the professional twang he reserved for dressing up as a Federal Officer and made a step towards the body.

"Wouldn't get too close if I were you, looks like he's been eaten by acid or something." The CSI approached from his side and knelt down pointing a gloved hand at a section of the large man's torso. "See how the area is almost liquefied? It's like half of him was dunked in sulfuric acid, what's more disturbing is there's signs of consumption, teeth marks here and here." He pointed them out and looked up at Dean who looked back at his brother. Looks like they found something now all they had to do was figure out what it was.

Sam had the scents hit him tenfold, it wasn't just the scent of death but he understood about what the guy was talking about. Furrowing his brows he tilted his head at the body, also the feeling of much bile release crawling from his stomach up to his mouth. He nodded, "That is pretty disturbing, do you have any idea who this man is?"

Finishing up with the questions and once the man walked away, Sam knelt down but kept his distance as he looked at the carnage. Eyes tracing over everything, even the parts that looked eaten away in two different formats. Standing after a good inhale he coughed, and walked from the crime scene to the car with Dean as he made it in time to grab a water bottle and down half of it.

"So the smell is pretty potent and not the death I'm talking about that venom. And it is definitely venom, but the thing is that whatever did that to him was hungry or pissed off at him...My best bet is that we pop in after a while to check out those bites. I don't know...they seemed unusual." Climbing into the impala he was really focused on what he was thinking about. The scents he was trying to depict and organize them in his brain. He didn't know the smell all too well, it was like poison, like venom can be, he should know he carries it in him when he runs through a full moon.

"The coroner didn't have much to say in her reports about the bites the last seven times this thing decided to go get dinner, I say we have a talk with her ourselves." Dean turned the key in the ignition and put the Impala into reverse pulling away from the house and back towards the road. Seven victims, eight now that Mr. Jorgen had become an early morning snack one thing was obvious the creature could move and it wasn't picky about its meal choices.

888

**Library  
>2:20PM<strong>

Donnie had gone back to the library for more books pertaining to what she was trying to find. The boys were off doing field work which she didn't mind too much she couldn't help the small smile that suited her when Dean had left saying that they'd call her if they needed the big guns. Kind of like she was a secret weapon and she kind of was when triggered. In the meantime she was research monkey and she used to not like books that much, she was okay with them but now that she was in training and had been in it, she'd grown closer. Appreciating them a tad more than she liked.

Going up on tiptoe she reached for one book in particular, the place busy with students but otherwise no others. Stepping back she sat down in the aisle and opened it in her lap to look at the Contents before she set it aside to look at a different one she had grabbed before that. Venomous creatures, venomous beings, mythical, mythological, legends, stories...everything she thought was useful since nothing wasn't ignored as fake anymore but a possible reality in the world others didn't know about.

"Can I help you with anything?" a voice came to her and she looked up to find a tall thin but not overly thin but not average either, denim pants, white shirt and a brown plaid vest, glasses and brown hair with green eyes.

"Maybe. I'm looking for books about anything human, animal or even mythical that have venom. It's for a report I have due for a science class at the University," Donnie lied, standing up and gathering the books she had, she'd take them back to the motel or even just take them to a private study room and then call the brothers to come help if they were done and didn't find anything. It would be a lot of books to bring back.

"Well you might want to look in reptiles, they tend to hold the most venom in their bodies, and plants as well are good to look into and aquatic creatures. As for humans, the only ones I can recall would be the mythological sirens or otherwise known as water nymphs and mermaids. Would you like help with finding the books?"

_Librarians...they know so much._

"Yeah actually. Thank you." When he turned she went to follow him, turning her attention to the shelves where she could see through the tops into the other aisle. Was someone spying on them?

888

Arriving at St. Catherine's Hospital they parked near the entrance and made their way to reception Dean using his charms on the very perky nurse behind the desk, not necessary but a small highlight to finding their way to the coroner's office. They would be meeting a Dr. Phyllis Harper in the basement level morgue where they could review her findings and ask off the record what she thought about all this.

Phyllis Harper checked some things on her clipboard, tucking back a strand of curly purple hair that actually suited her looks, being that she could have been mistaken for a pinup girl, the curled hair in a high clip, long black lashes that brushed her cheeks every time she blinked and she pierced her lips in thought while writing some notes. Her name didn't fit her too much but that was to be her parents that did that. She didn't mind. 31 years old and she looked younger, maybe mid to near late twenties.

Looking up when she heard footsteps she sighed and moved to the new body that had come in yesterday. The cops needed some evidence before she could actually start working on it for an autopsy, and putting on gloves, setting the clipboard down she met the black suits. "How can I help you?"

Sam was the one who spoke first, a little taken aback by the woman and how she looked. Definitely not the average mortician. "Federal Agent Sam Greene and Dean Myers, we're here to take a look at some of the recent bodies that have come in as well as autopsy reports. Could you direct us to Dr. Harper?"

"Sure just walk a few steps forward and blink once. You're talking to her. As for the bodies that have come in just like this one if not worse, they aren't ones that you would want to look at technically as even the freezers aren't enough to keep them from decomposing. Autopsy reports I can give you to look at but if you would a full on report that can answer questions for both of us you can always put a pair of gloves, goggles, coats, booties and watch me work on this girl." Phyllis took up goggles for her put them on and grabbed her tool, turning on the overhead light and looked at them waiting for their actions and replies.

Dean shrugged when Sam gave him a questioning glance and strutted over giving him a clap on the back that made him almost choke on his spit, he was volunteering Sam to be the extra hands while Dean stood back to be the extra eyes. Still he was required to wear the appropriate gear; corpses after all could be unexpectedly messy, squirting bodily fluids without any notice, a lesson Sam and Dean had learned many times over the years. "So what's your prognosis Doc?" Dean spoke through the mask on his face eyeing the purple haired coroner and internally shaking his head at her eccentricity.

The purple hair was pretty wild and Phyllis honestly looked like she belonged to some kind of kooky crime drama because of it, the bizarre but alluring Dr. Phyllis Harper of St. Catharine's Hospital, yeah Dean could totally see it. Unlike Mr. Jorgen this woman looked like fleshy chunks of a jigsaw puzzle, whatever had eaten her had only taken it's favorite parts, poor girl she had been pretty in a nerdy kind of way when she was alive. Dean shifted his train of thought back to the task and what Dr. Harper was explaining to them while she did her review of the body, he had been listening to her about sending off tissue samples to local biologists to see what they had to say on the unusual chemical compounds she was finding in the blood vessels and surrounding tissues that seemed to be the source of the bodies degenerating into goop.

The general conclusion was that it was some sort of reptilian venom but none of which had ever been classified before, to the scientists no such thing should have existed. That's where Sam and Dean came in, if only they had a better clue as to what they were dealing with. "All the victims have this venom in their blood?" Dean asked, he wished there was an easier way to pin point what this thing was, they had dealt with poisonous monsters before but nothing like this.

"Well if you want to get technical. Yes and no. At least three of them died before the venom was injected and that was probably injected when whatever it was started eating. Those three bodies came to me in a group; they all knew each other from what the parents told me when they came to claim the bodies. Well, they were paralyzed in death, which happens if it was traumatic enough, but they were normal, bladder released everything at point of death, the cells began to shut down and begin the process of breaking down with the body temperature and skin pallor growing less normal. The thing was that that night I had finished up their autopsy reports, began to dictate them on the recorder in my office just through that window over there. I was here the whole time it had happened and I didn't see or hear anything. But when I went to go and leave for the day, the bodies that I had put away were pulled out of the freezer drawers they were in and eaten with the venom now injected. Tell me Agents...when those bodies were only two hours dead and for something to sneak in and eat them like that, how is that possible?"

Phyllis looked from one to the other before shaking her head and starting to clean up. She had realized after the first victim that had come in, to not bother with sewing up her incision in the chest cavity. The venom would begin to eat through her gloves that way if she touched the area where it was and some of the venom came out from the inside as well. Not to mention that they were deteriorating faster than any she had seen and that was only after one day in the freezer. The families that would come to claim them decided that they'd rather have cremation then bury the ashes in the casket with how gruesome the sight.

Sam went about removing his items as well, discarding them in the trash bin marked biohazard; he cleared his throat and stared right at the Doctor. "Dr. Harper, anything is possible when you are dealing with something at this magnitude. We don't necessarily know how that happened but we can guess that whoever or whatever did this has done this before. My partner and I will do our best to find the cause of all this and stop the bodies coming to you in this state. Once you hear from the biologists about the results or if you find something new or for an emergency," he paused as he removed two cards and handed them to her with their fake Agent names on there and their cell phone numbers. "Please give one of us a call. Thank you for your time and have a nice day Dr. Harper."

She stared at the cards for a few seconds before she gave a small smile. "You're welcome, oh and Agent...Call me Liz."

The tall hunter gave a nod and exited with Dean by his side, walking down the halls to the Impala. Now Sam realized only after her reply and the scent that came off her hinting attraction, that he had said something to lead her on or it was just the fact that he was a very kind person in nature. What he was getting off of Dean from the exhale of air like a held in laugh...Climbing into the car he looked at his brother. "Don't. Just. Don't. How about you call Donnie and see if she found anything?"

888

**2:49PM**

After getting those books from the librarian she had received a cart to put it on while she moved to a private study room and shut the door. She had the books laid out, open, different pages here and there to look at and what caught her eyes were the fact that the librarian had mentioned reptiles and aquatic creatures. She had looked through the water and found nothing that would suit Chicago and was staying on the reptile books that she had and there were quite a bit even mythical. Dragons and what not. Donnie had read so much that she was going to start to worry that she would start dreaming about all of what she learned. That only happened once and that was hopefully her last.

Feeling her cell phone vibrate on the table somewhere beneath the books, she began searching for it and finding it she answered. "Hey, what did you find? Anything I can go off of?"

_"Not much we don't already know,_ except that three of the victims died before the venom was in their bodies and whatever it was broke into the morgue to finish the job, the doctor said they had been paralyzed when they died. Whatever this thing is it works fast and has no problem taking risks to get it's food though I doubt it saw the coroner as much of a threat."

Dean turned down the corner letting the Impala glide along until a diner came into view, he was starving with all this talk about eating and needed to dig into a hot meal to quell his appetite. When the car rolled up over the incline and stopped in one of the paved parking spots Dean dutifully ignored the 'how-could-he-be-thinking-about-food-at-a-time-like-this' glare coming from his brother and exited the vehicle while he was still on the phone. Dean stopped beside his car and glanced around.

"Does that narrow it down any? I mean we don't even know how to track this thing or who it's going to attack next?" He was determined to find the monster and kill it, his voice coming across with a mixture of tones from bossy to lost as to where to go next. The venom was the only constant but even that didn't show up in all the victims at point of death and every other detail didn't make a map of anything, the victims were different ages, ethnicities, and genders...

_I feel like we're chasing our own asses here_.

Dean squinted his eyes against the blast of cool wind that sprinted across the parking lot and split the clouds to reveal the sun against a blue sky, more clouds rippled over the light, the wind deciding whether it wanted light or shade and unable to make a solid choice. It was mid April in Chicago, Illinois, snow was still clinging stubbornly to the sides of buildings and muddied street curbs and ditches, as for it falling from the sky that wasn't showing signs of happening again until next late Autumn. The warmth would be easier to work in than freezing his nuts off in the snow, with all the shit going on around them and here he was with his thoughts pondering the weather of the coming months, it made him feel almost normal until he remembered who he was.

_"Hold onto your boxers Dean, let me look._ It sounds familiar." Donnie held the phone to her ear and flipped through the pages of one book she had open on the table, walking over to it instead of leaning she found the page and read. "I can't believe I skimmed over it. I think we are dealing with a basilisk, it's a snake. I mean, it says here that it is a legendary reptile reputed to be king of serpents and said to have the power to cause death with a single glance. Some say that it is a small snake, being not more than twelve fingers in length, that is so venomous that it leaves a wide trail of deadly venom in its wake, and its gaze is likewise lethal."

_Oh god..._

She sat down and blinked, staring at the book and searching it for more answers. "I just thought of something. What if it's not small at all? I'm going to check out this book and meet you two back at the motel. And Dean...we need to be careful. I think something was spying on me here at the library. Who's to say that it won't be spying you too? Call me if anything comes up. See you soon." Hanging up she pocketed her phone and took up the book she had, leaving the rest behind as she went to exit the private study room.

_Sam had heard the conversation_ and once Dean hung up he was already on talking about it. "Didn't Dr. Harper say that her guess was that it was reptile venom but she didn't know of anything that was like this? Starting to make a little sense doesn't it? Order the food, we should get back to the motel to figure more of this out as well as stay safe. Like Donnie hinted, we might be the next victims in mind."


	26. Chapter 26

Note: Only two more chapters after this and Space is done. BUT…there will be a third installment. This is mainly about the boys as you have already been able to tell. What they are going through since Alex and Von died basically. Look out January 1st for Watercolour, a new year means more fun, gore, drama and plenty other things that you loved about Numb and this story. Enjoy!

Bluebird Motel**  
><strong>Chicago, Illinois**  
><strong>3:20PM****

A basilisk was one nasty mother fucker by the sounds of it, every single thing about them was poisonous, skin, breath, spit, glance, they had a scream that could drop you dead too. Since snakes didn't have vocal cords in the general definition that last bit was either an embellishment or the basilisk wasn't much of a snake in Dean's opinion, as far as the lore went these things were like Medusa and nearly as difficult to kill. "Where's Perseus when you need him?" Dean shrugged at Sam's expression that bordered between annoyed and stunned that his brother knew who the classic Greek hero was.

There was a couple ways to kill it that they could try, most of them were one shots because the next turn would be the basilisk's and then you would be dead. A rooster's crow, weasel urine or a mirror were supposed to be able to drop this thing dead, people had tried to stab it or decapitate it in the past but that never went well for anyone around it when it died because the person usually died along with the basilisk. They still didn't know how to track it, there were vague hints that it might live underground and with that being all they had to go on it was time to check out the sewer system surrounding the victims houses. The sewer system did a good job of connecting everything but that was sewer systems for you and with no actual pattern that didn't mean the monster made it its home sweet home.

There was nothing the group could do to guard the room against the basilisk aside from lock and barricade, Dean was against taking her down to the sewers with them but he would never forgive himself if they left her alone and something happened to her. "Where the hell are we going to get weasel pee this time of day?" Dean asked sarcastically, as where would one get weasel pee at all?

Donnie turned her head to look at Dean, one brow raised and an expression of 'really?' on her face. "You know there is such a thing called the pet store if you are that desperate with that sarcasm you are suiting." A beat, her face relaxing and back to normal. "But we can look at Percy's tactics. I mean in movies and lore I can assume that looking at Medusa through a mirror or reflection wouldn't harm. Why not use it on the basilisk? But we don't even know what this looks like apart from books and the Internet, let's think of it in modern terms. Can it turn off the stun gun and just get around normally? Can we get close enough to blind it? Would sunglasses work to help reflect with the lens? How evolved is it?"

"All good questions...you know Donnie you are turning out to be a good hunter but you still ask a lot of questions," Sam commented.

"Yeah and it will be downfall one day I have no doubt. But I'm serious."

Sam nodded his head and grabbed a paper and pen, writing down the questions so they can map it out with reasonable possibilities. Setting the pen down he kept it there for reference and thinking material. "You said that someone might have been spying on you in the library right?"

"You'd be correct. The only thing is that why didn't it act? I mean was it a person, was it a snake, or was it some kind of slave of the thing for useful information for it. I know I might be insane, but don't things usually have a way of not being what they seem when it comes to our reality and the lore? What if I went back to the library, you two scope out if anything looks suspicious in the shadows and I be sort of the guinea pig that tests for a spy or potential killer." Donnie knew the answer the moment she said it and sat back in her seat. "Okay never mind, but we need to do something. We can't lock ourselves in here, it's going to get in somehow and try and kill us, that or lure us out with another attack or more. Any of you got better ideas?"

Sam shouldn't have been feeding Donnie delusions about being a good hunter; he should have kept his approval of her skills in his own head. Dean had grudgingly taught Donnie the basics of hand to hand combat and weapons, Bobby had mostly been the one filling up her noggin with lore and then weapons when Dean wanted a break to talk to Sam or sleep. This life wasn't something Dean would wish on anyone, especially if it was a choice, overconfidence got more hunters killed than anything else, he was the only one allowed to be cocky and he had his reasons. Keeping his mouth shut about it and that he didn't think pet stores carried weasels aside from maybe ferrets he started to think about a plan, with no M.O. to count on bait was sounding like a good idea but that would come second to checking out the city's underbelly.

"We all know checking out the sewer is going to be our best bet, mirrors are easy to get and we can probably hit up the zoo for some weasel juice, do you think a recording of a crowing rooster is going to work or are we going to have to carry around the real deal?" Dean didn't want to wrangle a chicken, those things were mean and could peck a hole clean through your hand, he was much better at eating them. Dean couldn't believe he was even talking about all this, roosters and weasel piss to defeat the creepy beast, it sounded ridiculous every time he brought it up.

Sam thought for a second. "Recordings could work, best to try everything we can. As for the weasel...I am not getting it. Other animals can tell when there is a high predator in their midst and I doubt it'd be easy to get that with me. My luck it'd try and fend me off from its home."

The red head could tell that Dean had taken something from what his brother had said and she was staring at him for a minute to figure it out. And what was with his obsession with weasel feces? "So we are going down in the sewer? I...don't...know...is that really a good idea? Technically we are boxing ourselves in and making it easier for it to hunt us down and kill us even if it doesn't live there."

_Why am I fighting this? Because it's stupid! Why go into the sewer when we can lead it into open territory and rule out disasters?___

_"And that is why you are an amateur at this and will never work out. Do you honestly think that's smart? Lure it to the public, an open area where it can easily kill an innocent and have that blood be on your hands and conscience. That guilt rides you for years and you have no idea what you are getting into if you can't think of those factors first! You'll be dead before you can blink."_

Donnie froze in that instant, Alex's words hit home. It had come up from a fight they had when Alex had gone onto a hunt and tried to teach Donnie in matters of thinking. It was a nasty fight, Donnie remembered it well and she understood now why it made sense to go to the sewer instead of open area. Better to be boxed in where only the three of them could be the victims than some bystander who didn't even know about this part of their world. She apologized and stood. "You're right. I'm wrong. Sorry. I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick and then I'm good."

Sam watched her enter the bathroom and shut the door quietly almost as if she had been yelled at and a calm and silent robotic message was the only thing that could leave her. He pulled up the sewer grid after hacking into the mainframe of the city; taking out his cell phone he snapped a picture of it. They were ready to go. Now it was time to get the tools of the trade, whether they worked or not they would find out.

888

Chicago Zoo**  
><strong>5:07PM****

"The things I do for this job," Dean sighed tilting the bottle of extracted weasel urine this way and that, for one thing though he was damn glad he didn't have to deal with the weasel up close and personal.

He did what he was good at, lying and subterfuge, gave the zookeeper a damn good story about being a biology student at the local university and that they needed mongoose urine for an experiment on the development of kidney stones. Only so much urine could be extracted from so many weasels Dean just hoped it would be enough to do the trick, that and the mirrors and crowing rooster recording. Dean looked up from his musings into the yellow liquid to peer across the dash, the sky had cleared up to a nice blue color with lingering grey and people were milling about without anything to worry about other than taxes and their mortgages.

He remembered a time where he wished that was all he had to worry about, but normal just wasn't for him he had accepted that now. Sam and Donnie were getting the other supplies from a convenience store, he made them walk there by taking the Impala to the zoo, they probably both needed the fresh air anyway. Dean remembered Sam always liked his walks usually when he was in a mood and needed to think, so he couldn't imagine his oversized brother minding even if Donnie was tagging along with him.

888

They had found a recording of a damn rooster; they bought tiny compact mirrors from the makeup aisle for personal use since they couldn't carry big mirrors around and three pairs of police sunglasses that gave that full reflection. Donnie had hers on top of her head while they walked. "So what was that weird reply back there?" Sam asked.

The question caught her slightly off guard but she kept it from showing on her face. "What weird reply? I simply agreed with your brother. Is that so wrong?"

"In some countries it would be."

She laughed a bit at that and nudged him with her hand on the sidewalk. Sam stared down at her as he chuckled, was glad that they were friends. They needed one in this time. Making it back to the motel, they set up one mirror that was already in there from the area with the couch to a goo position at the door. It was good to be prepared. Donnie changed into some shoes that she wouldn't mind tossing once the trip was made to the sewer and Sam began to think once more. There was no way he was going to get an answer and he knew he shouldn't push though he wanted to, it wasn't right to do it to a friend that he had worked hard to gain trust in.

He had found himself on the walk thinking about Von. What would happen if they arrived at the asylum and she was there? What would happen if she wasn't? How would he take it? Would he tear down the walls for a scent and follow it until he found her? He missed her so much and though she haunted his mind when she died due to his guilt he just couldn't bear the thought of being scared of her forever from the hallucinations and all that. Sam hoped to finish this hunt so then they could move on, so then they could get there and find her. He could feel her out there in the world, the closer they got. The connection a sweater being knit and the closer to the destination he'd have a full sweater wrapped around him with warmth and familiarity.

"Hey Sam, do you think any of this that we have...will work?"

Sam blinked and brought his attention to the red head sitting on the bed. "I don't know. Hope so, but that is why we are bringing in whatever weapon we can to kill it if it doesn't. Don't worry, there's at least a 10% chance we'll make it out alive."

Rolling her eyes she laid back to stare at the ceiling while they waited for Dean. "Oh that's comforting."

888

Dean was on his way back to the motel, the radio turned high and he thumped and strummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he sang along loudly and completely off key, once and a while it was nice not having Sam in the car judging him out of the corner of his eye. Merrily rocking out in the Impala Dean nearly came to miss the scene that was playing out in the alley he was driving past, the shadow of a man dragging another man into the dark of the alley. The hunter lost sight of them by the time he found a spot to park, he had seen enough to convince him it was worth investigating even if it was some normal schmo mugging some normal Joe.

Taking his gun, knife and the weasel urine with him Dean set down the alley finding he had come to a dead end without much to show for it, knowing he had missed something he turned around and started to take a closer look the two men didn't just vanish into thin air. Head tilting this way and that he scanned up to the fire escape ladders and down to the garbage bins and the sewer grate, he suspected it though it showed no signs of having been moved. Standing over it he paused to listen, pulling out his Colt 1911 for good measure and in that instant he heard a shrill hissing noise that made him cringe and turn dodging back when a thick yellow liquid shot out at him from nowhere and splashed on the left sleeve of his jacket.

Like hydrochloric acid it ate through the fabric in seconds, Dean quickly trying to remove his jacket before the volatile substance touched his skin partially succeeding and wiping off what he could on his jacket that was now useless to him. Hissing in pain when the trace of venom blistered into his skin the reptilian hiss sounded again but before it could spit at him he shot in the direction of the sound, hearing movement he shot again and began to retreat out of the alley, his night vision was pretty damn good but he couldn't see jack shit with all the garbage piled everywhere. Plus all he had to defend him was a snowball's chance that the weasel pee would work against the thing that continued to hiss at him. Reluctantly Dean made a hasty retreat, taking a fleeting check of his arm and the nasty acid burn that lingered. Climbing into the car and speeding off he glanced again, from what he could tell his body was trying to heal the wound but the venom continued to work it's magic preventing the wound from completely closing.

"Son of a bitch," Dean grumbled and strung along a slew of other colorful curses, his ears were ringing like he had come from a rock concert and the fingers in his left hand were going numb. Flooring the gas and risking the cops on his ass he arrived back at the Bluebird motel, scrambled out of the Impala and to the motel room the hunting trio were staying in, shaking off the numbness in his hand he opened the door, "We have a small problem."

Donnie was checking over Dean's arm and had taken out some of her supplies to help the healing process and to remove the venom that was trying to eat the skin and bone while Dean was trying to heal himself. "You call this a small problem?"

"Dean, you..."

"Sam shut it. How is your arm feeling?" she asked once the stuff she had smeared on his arm had been there for a few minutes. Donnie knelt in between his legs and then moved her hands from his arm to his face to check him over, moving side to side and then checking down his torso and satisfied that there were no more injuries. "You were lucky it didn't kill you Dean, what were you thinking going at it alone?"

_Sam could have lost you...I could have lost you..._

The tall hunter calmed himself, Donnie was right to snap at him because he was getting worked up and the amulet he still wore around his neck was working more and more lately. Sam sighed and ran his hand through his hair, watching Donnie take care of his brother before she stood to put her items away. Mother hen watching over them. "Well we at least know that it's not the size mentioned and that it looks human. Which makes it harder to hunt it, especially since we don't know what the guy looks like." A beat. "And it also means that we might actually have to wait for it to come to us instead of it leading us to it and to the public."

Donnie grabbed a water bottle from the table where Sam's laptop was and brought it over to Dean where he was sitting on the bed. Giving him a different kind of medicine than what normal people take she sat down beside him and stared at Sam like he grew another head. Hunting was just getting more and more dangerous and complex. It wasn't that it was scaring her it wasn't; it was more along the lines of worry. "So we are going to Harry Potter its ass? Minus the teenage wizardry, cloaks and wands of course."

Wiggling his index finger in his ear Dean inspected the finger and shook his head. "No, we're going after it 'cause we don't know if it's gonna hunt us or shag ass and leave town then we'll have zero chance of finding it again." He glanced from Donnie to Sam furrowing his brow. "What? You know I'm right." Then he came to the realization that he had been shouting because of his hampered sense of hearing. Popping his ears relieved some of the deafness, damn and the thing had only hissed at him what about it's full blown scream? "We're going back to that alley, maybe Sam can sniff out something and hopefully we kill it before it eats all three of us." Dean went for his duffle to find a clean shirt and his back up flask of whiskey, taking a long greedy pull and licking his lips to collect the stray droplets.

888

Chicago, Illinois**  
><strong>Sewer System**  
><strong>5:30PM

_He's trying to kill us..._

Donnie had come to that conclusion as she was down in the damn thing and Sam had found the scent. Sure enough the thing did love the sewer and Donnie was glaring a hole in the back of Dean's head when she stepped in something resembling a diaper soaked to the max and with weeds growing out of it. Scrunching up her face she tried not to gag. There were reasons sewers were never meant to be ventured into, she just found that reason. Sam on the other hand was leading them with his nose and that wasn't any better as he picked up everything. Undertone was the scent on the victims he had caught that was connected to the venom. Something was being kept down here and chances were it was the storage.

Sam stopped suddenly and turned to look at Dean, his voice soft as he spoke. "It's not here but the missing people are. I can hear their muffled groans just another three blocks and then a left turn into one of the big pockets of the sewer. I think it might be back soon but I can't tell, it has a way of masking its scent and I think it's because it's a reptile smell more than an animal. Sometimes they don't release smells that can be distinctive. If anything it could still be in the sewer system and I wouldn't know until I heard it but even then it might have the upper hand on stealth."

Seeing the look on his brothers face they continued the distance until they found the area that Sam had talked about. The problem was the people were tied, slowly dying by bites and rashes like they had been straggled or something. Donnie went towards one cage in the flooring, spaced a distance from two people in a different one. While Sam and Dean watched, she was going to work her literal magick on the locks, if anything the basilisk knew what it was doing on keeping anything from getting in and out unless it was the thing doing it personally.

Dean held his colt 1911 in a ready to aim and fire position, tilted slightly downward and out in front, it would peer around the corner before his eyes would. When his eyes came around he could see nothing but the smell was acrid and distinct, the smell of rotted human flesh and old death, he had come to know it well fighting this war against the unnatural. They came upon them in heaps, half discarded chunks of bones and meat their human shape all too clear in the poor light and the poor bastards that were still alive were writhing on top of the meaty compost slowly dieing. It was one of the worst sights Dean had seen in his entire life and he had seen many terrible things that would send most to cold padded rooms and stylish buckled white jackets.

The cough he needed to take to get the air he was resisting was what sent his lunch onto the slick concrete floor, his stomach crazed with the relentless need to heave all it's contents to the whims of gravity. Spitting and wiping at his mouth Dean straightened against what his cramped abdomen wanted and blinked the hot tears from his eyes clearing them from his face with a wipe of his sleeve, the smell of overwhelming and he did not envy Sam's nose for what it must be doing to him now. Dean shook his head after he braced himself for the look around, his body was thoroughly repulsed and he was only too well aware of the hopelessness of this, he stopped and waited for Sam to stop next to him, he didn't want to have to say this.

"Even if we can get some of these people out of here, what's to stop them from dying painfully anyway, there's not exactly a basilisk anti-venom waiting at the hospital for them." Dean knew how cold it sounded, hell he wanted to carry these people out of this hellhole anyway, even if they were going to die bloody all the same, they deserved at least some small amount of mercy.

Donnie's eyes landed on him and she glared with such anger at his words. "I'd rather get them out of here and help them in their pain so then people can find them and know that they are no longer missing. Sometimes it's better to know that they are found than alive and okay even if they are beyond help."

Sam felt the words hit him hard and extreme because they meant much more than the right now moment. He saw her turn back to the cages and finished with undoing them, helping them out, waiting for one to climb out but they were holding someone in their arms. They were already dead. He went over to bring her out but the woman refused. She wanted to stay and die with the person rather than to die somewhere else. Once everyone they managed to get out of the cages, they headed back down and out the sewer, once topside Donnie took some of them while the brothers took the others. It was a good thing to know that they were all on the same page. They had to kill them to put them out of their misery, but they had to leave them where they would be found.

Killing done and that was when Sam caught it. Donnie turned to look at him as he had actually got down on all fours with without getting his clothes dirty, smelling the ground and she watched him growl before straightening. "It was waiting here, it knew...I know where it is. Dean you and Donnie get the car, I'm going to run but you have to follow me okay? I don't know if I will be able to smell it from the window that well."

Following Sam turned into chasing him and they weren't graced with empty streets, bystanders stopped to gawk at the black muscle car racing after the large scary man who was leaping over bushes and fences like a pole-vaulter. For about four minutes Dean and Donnie lost Sam until he sprinted into someone's front yard and across the street where he stopped and Dean nearly hit him. "Jesus Christ, Sam!" The elder Winchester glared through the windshield and climbed out of the Impala striding to the trunk and popping it open. Guns, knives, Dean doubted they would do much if anything, weasel piss, mirrors and the tape recorder with the rooster on it. Tossing the tape recorder at Sam Dean closed the trunk and the trio walked up the path with Sam leading. "Since when did monsters decide they could live in nice homes?" Dean commented, checking the windows which had the curtains drawn and the door before kneeling down in front of it and picking the lock.

When it slid open he checked behind him to see Donnie and grinned, her skills were coming in pretty handy. The smell should have been detectable through the door by all accounts but a thick seal had been installed in the doorjamb to keep any air from coming in or out. But back to the smell, thick and humid, like an unkempt reptilian section of a zoo or a herpetologist's collection that had gone out of control, it was heavy, hot and hard to breathe and they had yet to close the door behind them and venture into the house.

"Why couldn't this thing have liked the desert more than the tropics?" Dean grumbled stepping carefully into the foyer and to the left to explore the first room. Everything despite the rancid humidity appeared normal, lived in but normal, for all Dean could tell the basilisk kept it's dirty work in the sewers and disguised itself as a human the rest of the time. "Okay Scooby-Doo, the nose knows." Dean hinted to the unexplored house with his gun, weasel urine stowed in his pocket and ready for a quick grab and pour. There was that tension of the unexpected, of the hopes that what the hunters had armed themselves with would work and they weren't fated to become lizard food.

Sam had walked into an area way too hot. The moment he was in there he was trying to focus on the task at hand but he kept looking around like he had been stuck in a hot car for a very long time. Puppy didn't like the heat when he was already hot blooded. His mouth was open and he was panting, he'd have bet his tongue would have been out too if he wanted but he removed one button up shirt and went to go and remove the rest of the shirts but Dean stopped him. He whimpered and gave the eyes. "Dean it's really hot..." he exhaled.

Donnie could agree but she only could imagine what Sam was going through being a werewolf. She had shed her jacket that she had worn for the elements outside and had reduced herself to the white tank top underneath that and the purple t-shirt she had been wearing. Looking down she was coated in sweat head to toe and her hair was starting to curl from the humidity, the knowledge that she might get a denim rash on her thighs from rubbing with it made her not happy. At least she could focus more than Sam could. It just went to show that now it was time to switch detectors. Keeping her items on the floor with Sam's and what Dean had decided to shed, they knew that the basilisk knew they were there. Why bother concealing that?

Taking point with a knife in one hand, glasses on and walking around with her feelers open. Leading the two hunters through rooms to check it was the upstairs that she stopped in the hallway and furrowed her brows. A massive heat wave hit her, pressing on her bubble and she signaled the master bedroom. As Sam and Dean had their guns out and everything else ready they entered only to find nothing in there. "Oh no...This is never good," she commented.

"You know, I was going to say the very same thing," a soft voice crackled and hissed behind them, Dean felt the words dripping against his skin like acid and his eyes watered at the smell of the basilisk's breath in such close proximity. "Breaking into my home has its consequences."

The very normal looking man smiled revealing rows of needle sharp teeth set in black gums, his breath was like mustard gas debilitating to all three hunters, and their eyes burned and would not stop leaking tears. The basilisk laughed and removed his glasses from in front of his green eyes, the sound and the stench threw Dean off and he coughed and backed away his sinuses flaring up like he had snorted hot peppers. Fighting through what his body was enduring he grabbed the jar of weasel urine stowed in his jacket pocket and unscrewed the lid, tossing it at the basilisk with a skilled flick of the wrist that he had acquired from tossing holy water at demons.

Throwing up its hands the basilisk screeched as the acidic liquid ate into it's skin and putrid smoke curled upwards to the ceiling. In hindsight Dean had seen the deadly mistake he made in dousing the monster, everything about the basilisk was pure poison, so even while the urine was going to leave one nasty dent the wounds were leaking lethal poisons onto the floor and into the air. And Dean was not the only one suffering from this expulsion of unnatural toxins, his brother had his hands clapped over his ears with blood pouring between his fingers, Dean could only see him through his blurry burning eyes because he was right next to him, they needed to finish this quick or they were all going to die.

Fighting the need to hurl, Donnie's throat convulsed and she felt like her stomach was wrestling with her intestines. Sam on the other hand was on the verge of blackout and it was because he was getting everything at a high level with his hearing, his smell and he brought his hands away to growl at the basilisk. How were they going to finish it off now? If they touched the basilisk they would easily get venom on them or poison from the blood. And getting close enough to use weapons was risky as well. Looking at Donnie he took her arm and had her slightly in front of him but to his side as well.

"This is all you."

_WHAT?_

Donnie's mental freak out had to be delayed, focusing on well focusing...she heard Sam remove the recording and begin to play that, though it sounded kind of ridiculous with their current predicament it appeared to rather anger the basilisk just a tad but not much. The thing was looking for an escape but Donnie wasn't going to give it that. Inhaling, closing her eyes and opening them the basilisk would never know her eyes as it died, the words spilled from her mouth as her hands were held palm up, fingers splayed cold temperature shooting around the room. Stepping forward she knew that if anything reptiles hated the cold and this one thrived on humidity a knowing smirk rested on her face as she continued to speak, the words leaving too fast for it to really comprehend.

It was like petting a cat, the fur soft and somehow though very cute they made you smile when they purred. She felt peaceful and at home in her element and when the thing lashed out she brought up a hand and at contact his arm froze, she held on, wrapping her fingers around the wrist. As she knew that Dean and Sam had been shooting at it from a distance it wasn't doing much but now they were waiting. Once the ice crawled over as the thing screamed she knew instantly what would happen when it was entirely frozen. They'd shoot and they would have bite size pieces with crystallized powder on the flooring.

"Burn in Hell," she whispered, stepping back, her eyes normal once more and she turned her head to the side while the sound of gunshots rang out in the bedroom. To make sure it was done and over with, Sam removed some salt, gasoline and then lit the frozen chunks. Time to leave and move on.

The trio staggered out of the house, each worse than the last. When they made it out onto the lawn Dean struggled to stay upright while Sam fell onto the cold grass gasping and whimpering his watery blood shot eyes wolf yellow and barely able to open because the lids were swollen. Dean was close to the same, every inch of him burned it was mild compared to what he endured in Hell but extremely painful all the same. Donnie was on the ground as well; eyes closed tight, her sole focus on breathing. Dean saw that her hands were badly burnt but they couldn't help her here or now, they had to leave before the cops showed up, someone had to have heard the gunshots and the screaming.

Warring against his body Dean lifted Donnie up tripping over his own feet but not dropping her he managed to place her down in the back seat of the Impala and go back for Sam, Sam he had to more or less drag despite his brother's want to use his own feet. Piled in the car Dean gunned it back to the motel, checking the rear view every half a second to make sure Donnie was still better than dead. It was a miracle that he didn't drive into a lamp post or off a bridge with how all the shapes and structures blurred into a jumble of colours without warning, admittedly he had to slow down or risk killing all of them. When Dean killed the engine and felt his way to the backdoor and to Donnie he checked her breathing, still there, and carried her to the front door not turning when he heard the passenger side open and close.

"Donnie, you're gonna be okay you got that, you're gonna be alright."

Hearing Dean talk to her the glasses were removed and she fluttered her eyes open, making a sound of pain and then she coughed the cough was like a smoker's, gritty and lung worthy. Bile burned inside from the toxins she had inhaled and she knew her hands were burned pretty bad, she cried out when Dean set her down on the bed and she tried to fight him when he went to calm her but she was already weak anyways. Settling down she stared at him. "Are you okay? I killed him. I did it...with you guys of course but I...did you see what I did?" Giving a small smile she closed her eyes and coughed hard once more, her body curling inwards from the force.

Sam made it inside the room, shutting the door and he headed straight into the bathroom. Grabbing a washcloth and wetting it he gave it to Dean before heading back and shut the door. A shower was one way to help the poison to leave with the steam and soap, especially because he healed fast. It was horrible that Donnie was the worst of them, after all though she wasn't entirely human, she was the only one who couldn't heal herself and she had used some big magick inside her to do what she did. Proud of her. But worried, she'd be fine, it was the fact that she was his friend and the way his brother was acting...Removing the clothes he stepped under the spray and his muscles tightened up, a muted growl of pain left him, eyes amber, he put his face in the line of water to flush out everything no matter how much it hurt.

888

"Yeah I saw," Dean replied with a hint of pride in his voice, she had stepped up to the plate and done the stupid thing by getting up close and risking her life just like they would have. She saved them so he couldn't be too mad at her for being reckless, they had larger concerns now like getting the venom off of them, and they still had a destination to get to. Leaving her for a moment to fill the plastic pale with cold water he knelt next to the bed and rinsed off what he could of the venom without opening any of the blisters on her hands. "Now hold still."

Dean sucked in and let out a breath that said this was going to hurt, he laid his hands on her hands gingerly and let his gift or in his opinion his curse work its magick as he siphoned the wounds into himself and the blisters began to spread over his hands. Donnie's hands were still red, a light sunburn compared to how they were and Dean held out his hands and went to the sink turning the water on with his elbows until it ran ice cold, holding them under he groaned and cursed until they were healed to a pinkish red. Dean knew the healing wasn't going to be that easy and that he only gave Donnie a head start on something they would all be taking a while to recover from. Who knows how long the basilisk's venom would remain in their systems, the fumes lodged in their lungs and poisoning their bloodstream.

They would all need turns in the shower and the clothes they wore would have to be tossed in a bag and thrown away, either burned or buried, preferably buried as burning them could release more of the noxious fumes that had settled in the clothing's' fibers. He had already shed his outer layers, jacket, button down shirt, socks and jeans, a matter of decency scored below the matter of his well-being. Dean also helped Donnie with her clothes, they were contaminated and caustic giving them chemical rashes, the bed sheets that Donnie was laying on would have to go too but after she showered. Letting Donnie stay on the bed Dean gathered up the clothes and tossed them in a garbage bag by the door, he was dead tired but he couldn't nod off for the feeling of insects crawling over his skin which made him want to scratch his entire body against a cactus to find some relief.


	27. Chapter 27

**Note:**I**t's Christmas Eve of 2011, wow can't believe we are here already! Doesn't feel like we'll be moving into 2012. Anyways, hope today you will have fun with your families and building the anticipation for tomorrow. Happy Christmas Eve everyone.**

**-Wynter & Tori**

**9:00PM**

They were finally all showered, the toxins were still there inside but now a little less. The best thing to do was to get loads of fresh air and drink lots of water to remove it from their system inside. Donnie was able to move a little more, showering was interesting with her lack of coordination and stability but she had managed rather well somehow, she couldn't remember really. Now in the Impala, items in a garbage bag they were loaded up and on their way once more. First they had to find a spot and bury the clothes, that was easy.

Sam had volunteered to do it as he could tell Dean wanted to stay in the car and not have Donnie out of sight for a bit she had got it rough. Right now she was asleep in the backseat, curled with her hands in salve and bandages an occasional cough now and then like the rest of them. He really made sure to put it in a good spot, the only reason he knew it was good was because he didn't want Dean to see what he had to do to keep creatures away and from digging it up. Unzipping his pants he had to go anyways, marking the perimeter he finished and headed back.

888

**Harrisburg, Pennsylvania  
>April 19th, 2009<br>Jargens Pub  
>10: 43PM<strong>

What would have been hours drive, had taken two days. They had run into something else shortly after Chicago, in Indiana, things were really kicking up in the world and it was leading to the asylum they needed to get to. The hunt had been simple though, just a demon working with a vampire and it hadn't been pretty but it wasn't difficult. Now here they were another hunt had prevented them from going further and it seemed there was something going wrong in every single state on the road. Donnie stared at the table on the stage of the pub, candles lit, flowers, pictures, notes that said things like 'We know it wasn't you. Rest in peace...' She flicked her eyes back to the newspaper where it had mentioned those very people and the most recent an Angela Moore and her best friend Riley Sanchez.

_Robbed two banks, killed one person who didn't comply...found dead in Lotus motel...girl...poison: murder...guy...gun shot below the chin: suicide..._

Or it had at least been ruled out that way. What had many people puzzled and had a table for them was because they knew it wasn't them like they had just changed personalities and started to take it out on the place. Sighing she took hold of her whiskey and downed it. Dean was getting answers from some women Intel and Sam was trying for some from the men, bartender and such. While Donnie sat there again as research monkey. Standing she left the newspaper behind, not like anyone would steal it as the newspapers were kind of everywhere in the place. Heading to the bar she signaled for another two more for her table before going to the bathroom. Inside she took care of business before washing her hands. Face down she thought she heard someone else in there crying.

Her head turned in the direction to find a stall closed and legs at the bottom. Going over, it was in Donnie's nature to make sure people were okay. Rapping her knuckles on the door lightly it swung open a little and she found the Marylin Monroe hair color and style, red lipstick, eyeliner and some shadow a tad smudged, a nice dress on that looked silk with some earrings, necklace and heels. It looked like this woman was ready to have a good time despite the tears. "Are you alright? You sound like you are really upset," Donnie asked, coming in and kneeling down to get a better look.

The woman looked up and nodded her head while she continued to cry. "My fiance and I had a fight. He said that I was getting sloppy in bed and if I didn't buck up-he left me at my table to go talk to one of his friends."

"Well maybe he doesn't deserve you and you should dump him, I mean that sounds like a horrible fiance to me. You should be getting married because you love each other not because of whether or not you are good in bed."

"But I can't leave him, I love him with all my heart. You don't understand. I'm connected to him for eternity. Even if I wanted to leave him I still couldn't."

Donnie furrowed her brows. "He doesn't own you. How about we go out there and show him that? That you have moved on and that you deserve better and if he doesn't see that then screw him. Come on. Let's go dance and have a few drinks."

_But I'm supposed to be working, hell maybe she might have some answers and damn it I think it's about time that I got into interviewing._

The woman gave a smile as she took Donnie's hand and stood, when Donnie turned around, walking with the woman behind her towards the door, she opened and immediately felt like something had walked right into her. Standing stock still in the doorway, backing up and shutting it she headed for the mirror, looking into it she tilted her head to the side to look at herself as far as the mirror would let. Intrigue appeared on her face as well as a grin, hands coming up she noticed some redness and she felt a power hum within her that felt amazing and different. Hands to her hair she began to go through the long red strands and down her frame to her hips.

"Works every time," she spoke with a little bit of a lilt from some other era, turning, heading out of the restroom she found the table she had been at and sat down to look at the newspaper, folding it over and pushing it away, she removed her jacket she was wearing to reveal the nice tank top, crossing her legs. Taking up the whiskey she began to sip it while she was giving all the right signs.

888

"Nothing strange besides that?" Dean queried one last time.

The pretty blonde shook her head, "No, like I said they were both normal people, came here all the time with their friends."

"Alright, thanks."

Dean flashed a grin and grabbed his drink to head back to the table. Four sets of couples with the same M.O., the first couple were married, the second had been dating for two years, the third had just met and the fourth set had never met until they decided to rob a bank and sail off a cliff together, metaphorically of course. Still that was four couples who had all gone out the same after they robbed a local bank, a couple days later the bodies would be found woman poisoned and guy with his head blown off.

_Sounds like spirit possession to me._

Nearing the table he saw Donnie and checked around to find Sam still interviewing the bartender behind him, maybe Sam was getting more info than he had managed. "All anyone's saying about the last couple is that they never knew each other, other than that they were normal...hey, you okay?" Dean's eyebrows pinched together in worry from the expression on the red head's face. She was staring at him like he was some kind of weirdo that had no right in talking to her, then he saw her face relax and the glint in her eyes that told him she was thinking something over.

Veronica sat in her new body for the time being at least until they played the game out and had more fun. When this one guy came up to her she knew immediately it wasn't him. Hearing him speak he appeared to know this woman she was inside of, she never bothered to capture her name so she would play along. "I'm perfectly fine. It's a little depressing the atmosphere, that's all."

888

Sam was interviewing the bartender when a guy had come up looking like he had come from a bachelor party high end style, tie loosened, but hair immaculate, suit pricey and ordering a good beverage that would send someone's pocket dry with shock. The bartender had to leave to take orders around and so Sam waited suiting one beer for himself. "New in town?"

His attention went to the man others were gawking at only to look away to return to their lives. "Easy to tell?" Sam questioned.

"Well we are pretty close knit here, if you don't already know that from what has been going on."

"Yeah well I'm here on a job, FBI Agent and apparently the answers are all the same. Nothing helpful."

"Why would the FBI be interested in a few cold cases?"

Sam shook his head and gave a tug at the corner of his mouth, glancing over his shoulder to look around, he wasn't going to answer that question and frankly he didn't know how to phrase it just now. Turning to look back it was as if he got hit with a piece of cloth in the face and wrapping around to expand through his body. Closing his eyes and working out his jaw wide and small. Opening his orbs he knew no one had seen and when the bartender had come back to continue the conversation he ignored him and moved over to the table that he had noticed the man he was wearing was looking at. Coming closer he could immediately tell Veronica was in the red head, a little different from the normal.

Upon approaching, ready to shoo away the schmuck that decided to talk to his girl, Harvey Vallier grew more interested when the man turned to face him and acted as if he knew him, which could be that he was this FBI Agent's partner. In fact he called him Sam. So that was the guy's name he was suiting around. Now to figure out the name of the man before him. This man seemed to know Veronica's host as well. "I'm sorry, I think I'm a little hazy. But to answer your question, nothing helpful."

When the tall man came near she thought she had never seen someone so amazing and it was no doubt her Harvey. She smiled at him and took another sip of her whiskey. Different than usual, tall, very tall and well built obviously and it had her eager to get her hands on him before they decided to continue their exploits. Never had it been so fun to break the law, possess others and kill them in the end. It made their relationship and sexual appetite thicker.

"Great." Dean drank one finger of his whiskey and set the glass on the coaster. "I guess that means first thing tomorrow we're checking out the building's history."

He glanced and from his glance he was expecting the typical nod from Sam about the research they were going to have to do. All the couples had frequented Jargens Pub so there had to be something going on with the building, getting an EMF reading would be a pain from the high tech sound system running through the place and messing with the meter. Dean had already checked anyway and it was going all over the place, they were going to have to count technology out on this one leaving them to rely on old-fashioned guts.

But until morning Dean was planning on enjoying his drink as much as he could he wanted to feel good and numb by the time he fell into his cold bed alone. He might just have to make sure his stash was filled up so he could stave off the affects of the nightmares that would be chasing after him in his head. Downing the rest he excused himself from the table to get another whiskey at the bar pondering the curious way Donnie was looking at Sam and not wanting to believe what his eyes were telling him.

Once the guy left them, Harvey sat down next to Veronica and looked her up and down. "Nice body babe," his voice came out gruff and very Sam-like, it was new to him, his hand snuck under the table to massage her thigh.

Veronica tilted her head down and blushed, giving a kind of way too showgirl giggle, winking at him she set her drink down and turned to face him, her hands taking his hand. "Ya don't look so bad yourself Harvey," the voice taking on certain drawl.

"How about we ditch the man and do some dancin'?"

She smiled as he stood, her hand still in his she was led onto the floor where people had managed through the dreary feeling to get in the mood to move. Sam's hands found Donnie's waste and Harvey and Veronica couldn't help but get closer to each other, swaying slightly to the music she had her face close to talk. "This body feels so interestin' and fun. Like I have electricity bottled up inside my undercarriage."

"Well I'll be very attentive to what's underneath babe. This one here is also unique compared to others, makin' me feel down right beastly," Sam whispered into her ear and she shuddered at the voice, eyes half lid and a satisfied smile on her face, his hands sliding up and down her back she couldn't help but pull back when he went to twirl her and bring her back in.

"So now that ya know your name Harvey, what do you think this young thing's title is?" Veronica asked. "I've never been a red head before. Maybe Dorothy? Dolores? Ruth? Sally?"

"Hm, well we might find out. Act spifflicated babe...I wanna lose this sap." Her mood immediately changed and she fell into him like she was drunk and he moved them back to the table as the other man came back. "Hey, I think she's ready to fall to the floor. I'll go take her back and sleep." Watching the guy take the excuse and call Veronica, Donnie, they were ready to leave. Helping her to the door and outside, they immediately stared back at the closed door and grinned.

Veronica took Harvey's plaid shirt and pulled him in her hands going to the back of his neck while their lips met and she was lifted, being spun around before separating. "Time to pull our first caper as Sam and Donnie...I'm already thinkin' of many things ya can do to me." Another kiss, this one long and bodies flush together. Veronica loved this sexual build up. Fooling people...now all they needed was to find a car to steal...Harvey spotted the black Impala parked outside and he walked over to it, holding Veronica's hand and tested the lock. Open.

"This just might be the best caper we've ever done babe. Already got some classic wheels. Startin' to rethink the end math," Harvey said as he climbed the tall frame into the car and began to hot wire the car.

"Me too Harvey, but ya know we have to. Otherwise we won't be together and we won't be alive anymore."

"Chill babe, I said I was just thinkin'. Didn't mean it."

888

**April 20, 2009  
>Monroe Motel: Room 8 (five down from original room)<br>9:10AM**

Waking up to the rising sun through the curtains, Veronica rolled over and stood from the bed to stare down at the tall brunette Harvey was possessing. She wanted to roam around a little bit while he slept, she would come back but she just needed to walk, to experience life apart from the robbing, the sex and the killing. Dressing her naked form into her discarded clothes she exited the motel room. It was nice outside, she missed actually having her fringe dresses, her fancy jeweled clothes with the silks and the sheers and the jewelry. She even missed her up-do with the bleach blond strands cut short and waved just right.

Teardrop earrings, bracelets, gloves, heels...brushing her hand on the jacket she wished it was 1920 again. The fashion sense was better, but she had gone onto what people called the Internet and found they still made her clothes. With the money they had stashed away...she hoped that one day they would get enough souls so then they wouldn't have to get rid of their bodies. She hoped she would get hers back and be able to live her life once more. Too much into her thinking she hadn't paid attention to her humming until a hand had grabbed her and pulled her into a motel room and spun her into the wall there with a hand at her throat. Staring back at the man in the pub last night, Veronica went to push him off and away.

888

Dean slammed Donnie roughly into the wall when she tried to push him off. "Where the hell were you last night and where the hell is Sam?" he demanded gruffly.

He had called their cells near a dozen times each, each message more angry bordering on concerned than the next and without the GPS turned on their phones using Sam's laptop was useless in tracking them. When they left the bar Dean had expected the car to be out front of their room and Donnie passed out on the bed and Sam at his computer or his nose in a book, instead his car was nowhere and the room was dark and empty. Alarm bells erupted in his head and he had searched everywhere he could think to look until he reluctantly returned to the motel room and crashed onto the bed unconscious.

Then he had seen Donnie waltzing past the window like nothing was wrong, so Dean grabbed her to remind her just how wrong things were and that if this was some kind of game he didn't think it was funny. Regret and paranoia swam through him like a tidal wave, was he wrong to trust Donnie to bring her into this world and have her help them with Alex and Von, what if she wasn't the person Dean thought she was..."You're going to give me an answer, and it's going to be the truth." His jade orbs flared with anger, he was not in the mood for this shit.

She didn't know what to do; he obviously still thought she was Donnie so she improvised. "We took the car and we got a flat on the way, reception was bad for the cell phones and so we spent the night in the car-" Going to continue she felt him bring her closer and then back against the wall again when he didn't believe her. Veronica never had such violence done to her before she closed her eyes and knew if she said anything else he wouldn't believe her until she said the truth.

_I'm sorry Harvey. I'm not going to tell him where you are though. He won't be able to stop us._

Her drawl seeped into Donnie's voice as she replied truthfully this time. "If ya watch that pretty telly over there stranger, ya gonna find all the answers ya need on the news."

"I knew it," Dean grinned callously and forced Donnie or whomever she was now further into the room making her fall on her back he went for the salt and barred the door against her leaving. Turning on her he hauled her up and sat her on a chair, she wouldn't be able to leave past the salt but he didn't want to zap the ghost out of Donnie either, he needed to know where Sam was. "If you can hear me I'm sorry Donnie but I can't let this chick go yet, I gotta find Sam." The only question was how did one get a ghost to answer questions, how did one interrogate a ghost? Salt and iron would only push the spirit out, holy water wouldn't do diddlysquat and all the other methods Dean knew about would hurt Donnie. Dean popped the top off the salt and made a ring around the chair she was sitting in. "Get cozy, you're not going anywhere until you tell me where he is."

"It doesn't matter if I tell ya where Harvey is or not, Harvey will complete the second caper without me and ya ain't gonna stop it. By the by, Donnie as ya call her, it's not that simple with possession like we do. They are completely dormant. The only thing I'm gonna tell ya is my name and what channel to go searchin' on to see the latest in most wanted. I'm Victoria Stimac and I died in 1920 with my fiancé Harvey Vallier after committing two acts of caper. I have no knowledge of this body I am in or the connections to ya and the man named Sam, Harvey is in right now. Frankly I don't care a cent of ya pocket money. Personally we like the bodies we have and each other's respectfully from last night. Not like these two though are gonna need the guilt or regret once that caper is done. Ya can't stop history."

Veronica sat there with her legs crossed, sitting straight and her hands on the armrests as she gave a sultry smile. Looking around at the salt circle and the salt line to the door she felt a little nervous and she didn't know why. She hadn't run into this before but she knew for some reason she couldn't cross over it if she wanted to. Her head observing the place she could tell the three different clothing duffel bags, one of them had to be the man's before her and the other two...must have been Donnie's and Sam's. Her attention went to Dean and she was utterly curious.

"Donnie ya sister or somethin'? Seem pretty primal there for one red head tomato."

Tightening his jaw Dean glared, "Lady you're buckets of crazy stupid if you think you and your hubby are going to get away with anymore _capers_." He stood back and took out his phone scrolling through his list of contacts. There was one person that might know something about something. Bobby Singer had dozens of books about everything there was; maybe he'd know how to get Caspar to spill the beans. "Bobby what do you know about ghost possession?" Dean listened for a while. "We're working this job, 'an no we haven't been to the asylum yet. Sam and Donnie have these spooks from the 20's riding in 'em, I got Donnie with me but I don't know where Sam is."

"I told ya we're fit to be married but ain't," Veronica corrected, knowing he heard her despite him talking on the phone with some Bobby to get answers.

888

Bobby pulled up a book he had from a pile to find something about ghost possession. He knew some but not enough to really give a full how-to list. "What are the ghosts names?" Waiting he got the answers after Dean had to ask the one in Donnie, he could hear the drawl on the phone. "A Veronica Stimac and Harvey Vallier...those sound familiar." Going to his laptop he had he typed in the names and they were immediately pulled up. "Well from what I see they are connected to the Pub and Monroe Motel. Did ya ever think to maybe look for Sam in either of those two places? Their deaths were in the Motel but they ain't too clear on the room number as it was such a horrible event. As for gettin' rid of them...not much you can do. It seems they are runnin' on a cycle and if you hold out on it to prevent them from completing it then they should leave. Find more information on why they are there though. Call back if ya run into anymore trouble." Hanging up he looked down at Sorcha and shook his head.

_Boys always get themselves into a fine mess and now Donnie is dragged into it._

888

Harvey awoke slowly, trying to find the other warm body in bed but finding it cold and empty made him open his eyes. No Veronica. He sat up and glanced around the motel room, the very room they had stayed in when they died was taken already by some Angus Hetfield. They would have to sneak in there later. "Babe?" he called in a normal tone, running his hand down his face and through the brown hair of Sam. "Babe, ya on the John?" No reply. "Babe are ya playin' a game?"

Hearing no reply once more he stood up and furrowed his brows, moving around the room to search for her she was no where in sight. Harvey put on the clothes and went to the front door, exited and looked up and down the sidewalk that ran by all the doors, stepped to the asphalt and scanned the parking lot. If she went on another one of her damn walks again he was going to be mad, it was always like her to not leave a note to tell him where she was or a number to call her at since they had cell phones in this time compared to when they had just telephones. The plan was to do the last caper and then get that motel room for the night, have more fun before they finished the deed. They had a time limit to follow, they had till 4:57AM before their bill ran dry and the spell wouldn't pick them up to continue living on through people.

"I'm gonna do the caper maself, give her time to get back and freshen up," Harvey said, walking towards the road and to the Impala he had parked a couple blocks away, climbing in he was headed to a nice local bank that didn't worry too much about robberies with their high tech security...he planned on getting the cash, stashing it away and then heading to the motel while the cops in this town tried to find where he was. Right up till they needed to finish themselves off in the fashion they had first died. It all had to be timed just right.

888

"Like I said, get cozy toots, you're not going anywhere." Dean pocketed his phone.

Wherever Sam was he was going to need Donnie to finish what they started, he wouldn't be blowing his own head off without poisoning her first...at least he hoped so. What Bobby said sounded about right, they were stuck in a cycle and disrupting it would stop them, no one could say for how long but hopefully long enough that they could find the bodies and salt and burn them. In the meantime there was no easygoing for Dean, he would be watching Victoria like a hawk. Clicking on the T.V. Dean tuned into the local news, listening while he tried to figure when the spooks would be out of their systems. Dean would have to look into the coroner's reports to find out the time of death of the victims that should give him the cycle timeline.

_Only I can't go to the morgue because I have to watch Donnie_...

This case was turning out to be one big pain in the ass for Dean, he was solo on this and he hated waiting. Keeping his peripheral on Donnie his attention went to the news, the headline story about a suicide ring of people who would rob banks then kill themselves, police were still investigating but theories were leaning towards a satanic cult in the area. Dean snorted, if they only knew what was really going on.

888

**11:26**

Harvey sped down the roads, turning and twisting and managing to get away from the bank without running into the police. He'd done this enough to know what he was doing and what didn't work. Pulling off road where no one would know that a road led off to a shed. Stopping the Impala he climbed out with the bags in hand, going to the door and tossing them inside before getting to the car. It was simple, fast and he was soon back on the road and heading for the motel. Harvey picked up the cell phone and searched for the name Donnie in the contacts, pressing call he waited when finally someone answered.

"Hey babe, finished the caper, money is safe. Ya back at the motel? We need to make sure room 3 is open so we can complete this babe." He paused, the breathing not sounding like hers made his brow furrow. "Babe? Ya okay?"

888

Dean closed the phone and set it on the nightstand, Dean knew it was room three of the Monroe Motel he was staying at because that was where all the other suicides had taken place and that was the exact room he had checked into. Checking all the salt lines he doubled up the one circling Donnie, there was no way to tell where Harvey had stashed the dough or when he would be back so he had to act fast. Dean prepared the room tying a thick rag around Donnie's mouth, left the doorway free of salt and drew the curtains leaving the light off. Now he had to wait until Sam showed up, get behind him block the door with salt and keep the two of them separated until the magic hour.

Veronica glared at the man who had her tied down and gagged. So this was what it came down to. Harvey and her were going to be kidnapped and tortured by this crazy man with salt. She had never heard of people like him, she just assumed that he was too smart for his noodles he had askew in his brain. Hearing an engine outside familiar from the Impala they had grabbed from the pub last night she jerked against the ropes and screamed. It was all going horribly wrong, it wasn't meant to end this way. It was supposed to be them fulfilling what they needed to. The moment the door opened and Harvey came in it was a disaster when the man attacked him to the ground, punching him a few times before getting off and creating a circle of salt around Harvey then a line at the door.

Harvey groaned and found he was already healing from the jabs and he grew intrigued. Spotting the salt he went to go over to find he couldn't and he looked up at the man from last night and then flicked his eyes to Veronica. "Who are ya? Ya don't know what ya are messin' with ya sap." He brought his eyes back to her tied in a chair and his eyes went soft. "Babe, are ya alright? Did he hurt ya?"

She shook her head and felt her heart plummet as well as something else that made the rope around her hands loosen. Veronica knew that the shorthaired man hadn't noticed as he was looking at Harvey. Her eyes took notice of the ropes and she found that spot in her that felt different and when the ropes budged and loosened again she held in the want to squeal, grinning she felt the knot on the gag begin to untie as well as the rest. She began to wonder what else this body could do...

"I got a pretty decent idea of what I'm messing with _Clyde_," Dean quipped punching Sam's meat down to the ground again so he could check him for weapons. Clearing his person he stowed the weapons in a duffle and zipped it up tossing it on the bed. Turning around he quirked an eyebrow in Donnie's direction, something there wasn't quite right, the gag over her mouth was looking a tad loose, so unless Victoria was a Houdini she should not have been able to free herself from his knots.

_Unless she's tapped into Donnie's mojo_, the dreaded thought came into Dean's head.

Victoria had no idea what _she_ was messing withif she was going to try and use that to her advantage, she'd blow the whole room to Kingdom come before she knew what she pulled the pin on. However, Dean kept his cool and approached Donnie taking the loosened gag away from her mouth, "Got something to say?"

"Just that ya can't tie as well as ya thought ya could," Veronica spoke, that was when the ropes tightened on her as she was about to stand, as she was about to get her payback on the man before her she felt a wall slam up inside to whatever she had tapped into.

_Must be some demon body I got hold of._

Veronica wasn't quite sure if she knew what was going on, if it was Donnie inside she shouldn't have been aware unless it was just straight defense mechanism. It was a downside to what she had discovered. She blinked and looked away not wanting to see his face. She could tell that Harvey was dealing with his new body, the anger rolling off him was palpable and she could almost feel it on her skin like it was physical. Harvey lay down, there was no way they were going to get out of this and he felt defeated.

888

**4:36AM**

They had been there the whole time, watching the man watching them and even eating in front of them. Harvey had eyed it like a hungry dog and he had managed to look away without doing something rash. The more the clock ticked in their sights on the nightstand the more that they grew agitated. He had given up, he really had but now that it was going down...he was willing to find a way. That was when it occurred to him. Turning over while Dean was starting to drift off, fighting sleep, he opened his mouth and exhaled silently but with force at the salt line. As it moved and broke he grinned. Glancing at Veronica she knew what he had done and he gave her a look that said to distract.

"Ya know ya never gave us ya name and I'm curious as well as to what ya are. Ya are the first person we have run into that has tricks up their sleeves and knows what we are."

Harvey had stood up, the inner strength and agility of a predator hunting flared up and he really wondered who these people were. Coming up behind Dean he quickly tackled him to the floor and growling, he stood with a speed that amazed him and flung the man across the room. He made work of removing the salt line on Veronica before he ran into the bathroom, it had to be there, they left it there for all purposes and finding the vial of poison with the rest of the vials, he took it and ran back to find Dean with Veronica in a one arm choke hold.

Veronica stared at Harvey and flicked her eyes to the side as if she were looking back at Dean. Her hands on his arm and she glanced at the clock when Harvey did.

**4:45**

"Please, ya don't understand. It's important we do this," Veronica voiced.

"We made a deal..."

"Harvey, shut it."

"Babe, he has to know, do ya see any other way he's gonna just let ya go?" He paused and brought his eyes to Dean's. "We made a deal a long time ago with a demon at Jargens Pub. He had heard about our plans for a second caper. The problem was that we knew it was a matter of time we would get caught. The demon knew it too, so he struck a deal with us to kill ourselves after the second caper was done. Which methods would look good and get the job complete. Then he said that when the time came, after we've been watchin' from the sidelines that we could take control and all we had to do was to repeat the cycle we had in our lifetime with others and give him those souls. He said he'd come to us when we had a certain number he never did tell us, and then he'd let us be human again. That's all we want. It would be stupid to not believe we didn't enjoy this, but after we are human again we plan on gettin' married like we wanted years ago. We plan on livin' a normal life. But ya don't understand, because if it were ya in our shoes ya wouldn't care. Ya wouldn't know how it feels."

She wasn't happy that Harvey had spilled the beans; at least he didn't say the demon's name or anything which was smart. Veronica needed that poison and damn she was going to get it. Her arm swung down and her fist connected with the man's groin below, him releasing her she ran towards Harvey and took up the vial looking down at Dean on the floor. "Sorry stranger, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do." Bringing it to her lips she went to tilt it back when she fell to the floor, the poison never making it inside and hitting carpet to stain. Harvey fell to his knees for the poison, bringing Veronica into his lap as he whispered encouraging words to wake up and finish this. But it was too late, he slumped back and two bodies lay unconscious before the hunter still left in the room.

**4:57**

Time was up.

888

**April 21, 2009**

**6:57AM  
>Monroe Motel<strong>

Dean had drifted off a little after half an hour of waiting around for some other unexpected terrible event to slap him upside the head, eventually sleep took over where troubling visions of things past and present lurked in the shadows of his mind. He woke abruptly to find the room partially lit from the nightstand lamp, providing enough light to find the bathroom by but leaving much of the room murky and dark. When his eyes landed on a shape perched on the bed staring at him with glowing silver-blue orbs he started pushing back with the heels of his palms on the floor at the foot of the bed, in another blink he was staring up at the ceiling in a better lit room. Motionless he listened, two different patterns of breathing coming to his ears, he recognized Sam's and slowly turning his head to the right saw Donnie's red hair spread over the carpet. No creepy, familiar phosphorescent eyes penetrating into him with a questioning hunger few could understand.

Squeezing his eyes shut Dean dragged a hand down his face and sat up, dragging in and letting out the I-have-no-choice-but-to-get-on-with-my-day-even-though-my-life-is-fucked-up sigh. Pushing his hand down on the foot of the bed he rose to his feet and shuffled off to the bathroom already heavy with the burden that was his life, he would never speak of what those spirits made Sam and Donnie do the night before last, he wasn't sure who would listen but he prayed that neither one of them would remember what they did either.

When the bathroom door closed that was when he woke up, wrinkling his nose and blinking he rose up and looked at where he was. So confused and he didn't know how he got back to the motel and neither did he understand how he was on the floor of the motel with Donnie. His nose couldn't stop moving back and forth and inhaling fast, he sniffed himself and couldn't get the scent of Donnie off of him, even the further he went to go and smell he began to gain something horrible. Sam looked down at Donnie and gave a sniff above no touching and he smelled himself on her especially close to the legs.

His hand rose to his hair and he ran his fingers through. No. Not again. But what had happened? Sam searched Donnie as she slept with his eyes before picking her up and walking over to the bed that Dean normally slept on the right one closest to the bathroom...closest to the door. He then moved over to his own bed and sat down staring at his hands. How could he do such a thing? It didn't take a genius to know that Dean was in the bathroom but it was the whole matter of asking Dean once he got out about things and to confirm and of course to apologize. Donnie was their friend, Sam felt no feelings like that towards her whatsoever and he was confused between telling her or not even though he didn't know the full story.

_I can't tell her. She shouldn't know._

Sam looked up when Dean came out and he met his eyes, a silent message that he didn't mean to send but his eyes were already giving it away with his thoughts. He knew. Glancing at Donnie he could still hear her breathing at a good sleeping pace. Maybe he should wait until she woke up before he asked questions, veering away from anything that was sexual that had gone down.

_If Von were here...she wouldn't take this at all. Dean probably isn't but damn it...I fucked up again. Was it my fault? Please say it wasn't. I don't remember anything._


	28. Chapter 28

**Note: MERRY CHRISTMAS! This is the last chapter of this story, we are thankful that so many of you like it, have been alerting, favoriting and reviewing. It's been a joy to share this with you and we hope that you have a festive holiday full of smiles and cheer with your families and friends. Thanks again and remember look out for the next installment of the Numb series on January 1st. Watercolour. Merry Christmas once more.**

**-Wynter & Tori**

**April 23, 2009  
>New Haven, Connecticut<br>Camford Asylum**

**12:00PM**

After all that driving and run-ins they had, they finally made it. Donnie had noticed that Sam was acting strange around her, they had got answers from Dean as they were both confused but she kept thinking that there as something that was being kept from her. She had shrugged it off, it if was important they would have told her she liked to think at least. Walking through the asylum, it was overtaken by nature, completely destroyed and vacant. The three of them had split up to look around the whole place since it was big to see if there were any survivors or Von in general. Donnie could feel the presence she was familiar with, Astarte as she walked through. So this was where she had been since then.

Going through hallways and over rubble she flashed the light into each room she passed, patient beds and scrubs strewn, corpses buried and strung up with blood stains on linoleum and concrete ceilings with painted walls. This place was horrific to walk through, she only wondered how anything could be this strong but she knew that it wasn't impossible. Donnie went around a corner and on the edge of her vision she thought she saw something, when she looked nothing was there.

"Must be my hair getting in my way or something..." she brushed off, though the feeling that rode in the air was something she couldn't.

888

Sam moved with the grace of a wolf considering he carried it inside his system now. His nose was going crazy with all the different smells, as if the emotions were made into something more tangible like sweat leaving markers and identification. Closing his eyes he inhaled and opened them to hear a giggled breath behind him. Turning around quickly he searched. "Hello?" he asked, looking around him even the ceiling to make sure that nothing was up there.

_Von was here...I can smell her...lingering..._

Shaking his head he wondered if it really was her or hallucinations again. He had been doing so good and now if they were coming back...it was bad timing. Continuing onward he had picked up a trail on the wall that was very interesting, flowers as strong as ambrosia, intoxicating and he closed his eyes as he followed on instinct and sense of smell. Moving and feeling along the wall as if he couldn't trace precisely where the hand had lightly brushed along the entire way. It was leading him somewhere he didn't know and he was so caught up that when he opened his eyes he furrowed his brows. Where was he? Going for his cell phone he went to dial Dean's number, dialing the number but not getting so far as pressing Call when he was grabbed from behind and something sunk into his neck, sharp and he snarled, growling in pain before his breathing began to slow down even as he tried to turn and fight the attacker, even as he tried to struggle...it wasn't working. Nothing was working and he sank to his knees, the phone slipping from his hand to the rubble beside him.

888

The work was recognizable though honestly Dean had never seen it first hand because the untamable-chained beast that was Astarte had been stripped of her power in Hell. Bodies were strewn around like broken play things, limbs twisted and gnarled amongst throngs of leaves and vines, the ground was an uneven mess of shattered tiles, fallen leaves, roots and blood splatter. Dean found himself in the mess hall, tables and chairs overturned with corpses of patients and doctors mingled around the shrapnel. Those details came second to the mammoth tree that had invaded the better half of the right corner of the room, having sprouted somewhere through the linoleum at the bottom and merged with the wall breaking through the roof and expanding across it to canopy towards the entrance of the hall. Something like that would have taken hundreds if not thousands of years to grow and it had been here no longer than a couple weeks by Dean's guess.

All this, beauty mixed with a freak show was Astarte's doing and she had only just stretched her legs. The hair on the back of Dean's neck stood stalk still and he spun around anticipating any level of monstrosity to be waiting for him but there was nothing but the smell of flowers and a trail of tiny blue blossoms where none had been before. This time Dean could not fall back on the relief that this was just a dream, this was real, this was happening right now and what troubled him was that he knew that Astarte was still here somewhere playing hide and seek, that is until that sense suddenly changed like a shift in the air and he was unsure if she was truly gone or not.

It was time to call and get feedback on what everyone found in this creepy ass place. Sam's phone would not answer, it would ring and ring and ring then jump to voicemail, Dean saw no point in leaving a message and cursed under his breath hauling ass towards where he thought Sam might have gone which was either the worst or best educated guess he could come up with. The building was huge and while it might not have been the smartest plan splitting up it was the best way to get more ground covered. Dean could not entertain the idea that maybe Sam had found Von or rather what was Astarte now. Sam didn't know much of anything about the wild Goddess, Dean had spared him as much as he could, sparing himself Sam's pity and need to counsil in the process. If Sam had found her first he was in a shit load of danger.

888

Donnie maneuvered past bushes, vines and trees and saw some of them move as if they were still growing which made he shrink away from them as fast as possible while continuing onward. The more she went the more she felt a sense of urgency, her legs gave out and she fell into a sapling, hands pressed against it and she saw red hair different hue to hers, longer, the taste of blood in her mouth and she swallowed it down with a moan. "No, don't pull me in, get out, get out!" she yelled, slamming up the wall that connected her to looking through people's eyes.

Once it was up she knew that something was wrong. She knew where it was taking place and she stood, running in that direction. No wonder the feeling was in the air heavy as smoke there was something going on that they didn't know about. Donnie turned corners, jumped over things like a fucking frog but stumbled a few times as well and scraped up her knees and elbows but she carried on. Coming to a halt where it was, she looked down to find a small drop of blood that you wouldn't have been able to detect unless you were the one that had done the attack and watched it fall to that very spot. Bending over she removed a vial from her little bag she had and took it in. Might be useful later and then she took up the dropped cell phone with Dean's number waiting to be dialed and missed calls blinking like warning signs.

Standing straight it was near perfect timing as she heard breathing and hurried footfalls to find Dean coming her way she held out the phone to him as she met the distance in the middle. "He's...he's gone. Something took him."

_And I think I know as well as you, the person who did._

"Dean..." she stopped, she saw his face the emotions cross in his eyes and it was gone in seconds because he was covering it up despite the want to just let it fall.

Everything was falling apart it seemed, things going wrong and never getting a break especially when it came to Sam. There was nothing that Donnie could do, if it were her then that meant that the vial with the small drop of blood she had wouldn't work. She would do everything to block things from finding them. What hurt her the most, was that right after she had helped Dean pick himself back up again and things were starting to get a little bit better, her efforts were for nothing for it to all crash once more. How would they find them? They had to get to a motel or something because the asylum was empty there wasn't a trace of where they could have gone but elsewhere. And Donnie had a feeling that this was a planned attack and kidnap.

_I don't know what to do and I'm afraid that that's not going to be good enough for Dean._

Dean went past Donnie gripping Sam's phone in his hand like it was a lifeline he couldn't risk letting go, She had taken him and Dean was going to scour every last corner and shadow of this place until he was certain that neither one of them were here. He didn't care how long it took but he knew where to start, "Sam!" he called knowing the futility of it but needing to do it anyway, maybe just maybe his brother would hear him.

He started forward in his search, this was somewhere in the middle of the building, he would work his way into one wing and then backtrack into the other until he was back in the centre again, he needed to do this even if Donnie didn't understand. Dean didn't have to look at her to know she was thinking exactly what he was, there was no way that Astarte was sticking around this place, not if she had been taken here and not after she had what she wanted. She would go as far away as possible and they would have no chance of finding them ever again, not unless She wanted to be found. Dean could hear Donnie following softly behind him as he entered into a cramped hallway, stray legs and arms grazing and groping them through the passage, the smell was palpable and thick with rot and iron, a rainforest slaughterhouse was what Astarte had made of this place and she plainly saw to it that no one survived.

They had been repurposed as fertilizer that made this place thrive and if it wasn't for the nauseating reek or the tangled bodies emanating from every spot free of foliage it would have been breathtaking in the most fantastical sense. But those thoughts of awe and wonder were far from Dean's mind, he was bent on his purpose to find Sam in this horrifying web of nature versus man. The walls were alive and while they found the plants to be harmless they covered things quickly and efficiently when a foundation jarring crack rumbled behind them Dean spun around to see shoots coiling and slithering up to the ceiling crawling along the surface and cracking through the paint and first layer of dry wall to take anchor.

Whatever the plant was it was thin enough to still get around but that wasn't a certainty once they came back this way, it could be blocked off and they would have to find another way back. The elder Winchester was very well aware of the dangers that posed to them both, they could be locked up in here and squashed by some massive daisy if they weren't careful, but Dean had Donnie, she could blast her way through the plants if she wanted to, he was sure of it. There was a slope that once been a staircase but was now crumbled flat, rocky formations nestled firmly between tree roots and vines, they would have to climb down if they wanted to access the lower levels.

It was hard to watch everything around her and it was even harder to watch Dean as he searched, his breath picked up and face determined. Donnie wouldn't understand what he was going through because she never had a sibling to worry over and feel that connection to. Sure there was Alex but she was a friend and though Donnie felt like she wanted to search for her even though she wasn't in the places she had searched she would never know. Walking over dead bodies made her cringe as if they would open their eyes and grab out for her, it wouldn't have been the first time that had happened but they remained dead as if they were sleeping inside the greenery.

Managing to get down to the lower levels it made her skin crawl to a high degree. While Dean was searching for Sam, calling his name now and then but she felt like they were being watched by the plants that seemed to creep along silently between obstacles on the flooring. Donnie avoided one from slithering around her ankle for who knows what but it didn't seem dangerous more like curiosity. After searching the entire lower levels they had to find a way to get back, which was her job. Back on the main floor she grabbed Dean's arm and stopped him. "Dean, stop. We have to get out of here. I might be able to push back some things in this place but it's stronger because it's different magick, I can't keep doing it without risking us getting killed. Let's head back to the car and we'll search for him that way, he's not here anymore Dean..." Shaking her head she knew that he wasn't happy with her words but she let him go and walked around him to head towards the exit.

Dean clenched his jaw, anger and loss held vibrantly in his orbs until he shuttered it away from a single blink. Turning behind him again he returned his eyes forward and followed Donnie, because of his stubbornness they would die as the likely outcome and you couldn't do much when you were dead. He could feel the plants creeping up behind them but he did not look back to see them swallowing the bodies one by one, the brittle sound of bones dislocating and snapping told him well enough what was going on. No short amount of time later they emerged from the building, a once proud monument of the condemning of the insane was now crumbling and decrepit. Dean watched the tree that had broken into the mess hall rise up from the roof and send a hefty chunk of concrete and rebar tumbling to the ground to crash into three smaller but still very large pieces of debris.

_Hundreds of years and it had happened in less than five hours_.

Dean climbed into the Impala with Donnie and he grudgingly left the area feeling the place had answers but he would never be able to decipher them. He would go back to Bobby's, the old man had to know something, or someone that knew something, pressed hard enough Dean was even going to try contacting Cas again for answers. The angel had never been much help with anything; Dean just didn't have any options left open to him so he had to try what few he had. The ride to Bobby's would take over a day, in Dean's condition they would have to make a stopover unless he forfeited the wheel to Donnie and had her drive the rest of the way to give him a couple hours of rest. The couple of hours would hardly be any good to him because he knew they would be wrought with nightmares and garish scenes of Hell and what he dreaded more was the return of Leon and his sadistic games brought on by jealousy.

888

Hours had passed and she had finally taken over the wheel from Dean. She was a little unsure but she was a good driver and Dean looked really tired and ready for slumber. Donnie kept flicking her eyes over to him and back to the road. When she first met him he was hell bent on getting Von and Alex back with that spell...now he was hell bent on getting Sam back and she swore he was almost in a deeper hole than the one she had helped him try and dig out of. The music on the radio was on a low level so the car ride wasn't all silence. It would been better to stop and get a room but she knew the need to get to Bobby's from Dean and it was also better to save their money.

_'We eat the night, we drink the time, make our dreams come true. And hungry eyes, are passing by, one streets we call the zoo.'_

888

She bobbed her leg up and down as it was resting on her other knee. Her eyes shifted to catch the hunter as he slept and began to awaken on the couch in Bobby's house. Of course it was all a dream it always was it seemed. Alex stopped carving into the armrest where she had her old designs in it and just held the knife at point twirling it in circles with it making circles in the wood. He had been asleep for quite some time as she watched in the dream world.

"Hello Dean. I heard about Sam...There's something I need to-" Breaking off she couldn't say it so loud so she stood and walked over to him, kneeling down in front. Her voice lowered into a whisper but she knew he could still hear her. "You can't be here, things are starting to fall apart for you and you're going to let it consume you. Don't." Glancing around to make sure they were still alone, she quickly took his hands in hers. "It's time to wake up Dean...hurry before he comes."

888

**April 24, 2009  
>10:43PM<strong>

Dean's eyes snapped open and he jerked in his seat finding himself staring at a dark world and the dual beam of the Impala's headlights reflecting off of Bobby Singer's front porch. He had not woken so willingly but with the knowledge of Leon on his way he had not resisted the push to consciousness either, he couldn't have Leon delaying him in dreamland while he had work to do in the real world. "Drove fast," Dean commented without realizing that the day was the twenty-fourth of April and it was nearly a quarter to eleven at night.

The hunter had slept longer than he thought, which came as both an upset and a comfort to the burdened man. When Donnie cut the engine Dean only glanced at her in thanks and climbed out of the car to grab his gear and head inside to tell Bobby the news, he didn't call him ahead of time to warn him that the worst had happened. Bobby didn't need to be a mathematician to see that one was missing of the three and the first words out of his mouth once the two of them were inside was, "Where's Sam?" Dean's throat instantly tightened up and his gaze fell to the floor like it had become more interesting than anything else in the room. It was Bobby's face that fell next. "Dean..." he went on to press and Dean lifted his head, voice thick and rough like sandpaper.

"She took him Bobby."

There was silence between them, the message sinking cold into the bone. "We'll find him Dean," Bobby said adamantly to lift Dean up enough so he could drag his feet through this.

Dean nodded but only to return the favor, he was doing his very best to hold himself together there wasn't much keeping him from falling apart. They didn't know Astarte like he did he wanted to scream at them, this wasn't some spirit they could summon or some piss poor demon that left a sloppy trail they could track. They had hunted Gods and Goddesses before but this was different, Astarte could not be killed why else had she been caged instead of slaughtered, because it was the easier thing to do, if she didn't want to be found she would not be found.

Entering the house she set her bags down at the stairs and walked through the living room and into the kitchen for a beer, whiskey would have been nice but she wanted to give herself a break from that for a night. Once she had the bottle she went to the basement, walking towards the panic room and stopping right before the threshold. Staring inside she tried to think of things. It felt almost colder down there and in that room now that it was empty of Sam, sure it had furniture back in there but so far it seemed as though it was deemed a useless room. She only ever knew Sam for a while in this room.

Donnie took a swig of the beer and made it long, really long. Separating her lips from it she stepped inside and walked around, sitting down at the desk chair there and resting her arms over the back, chin on her arms and she stared. She wished there was a way to track Sam with that blood she picked up or even the magick that was still swimming around the house. There was no way and this time she wouldn't be helpful with her abilities in any way unless she got another glimpse through the eyes of the beholder but that was highly doubtful or if it did happen she doubted it would be details that could help but more along the lines of something with blood again.

And Dean...she worried about him. He was her friend and yes she still had some feelings for him but seeing him that distraught just broke her. No one should have to go through this. A plan had to be formulated and Bobby and Dean were seeing to that right now while she hid away to think up her own. Magick wouldn't work but what if she left? Would splitting up help? No, she couldn't leave, Dean needed her, needed someone to help him through this but she had that niggling feeling that Astarte had been right in that dream of hers a while back. When the time came she would have to leave and Dean would no longer be in her hands to take care of.

_I'll stay until that time comes, in the meantime, I'm going to do what I can._

888

Castiel was told by his supervisor, Anna that he was needed. Though he wanted to ask why now, he remained compliant. Heading down to the elder's house, knowing from basic observation when things came too hard to deal with Dean would go back to Bobby's to figure out things. Appearing on the front porch he searched the area around him, making sure he was in the right place before he turned around and looked at the door. Beside it was a button and he tilted his head. Bringing his hand up he pressed it to hear a ding inside. Bringing his eyes up to the wooden plank once more he waited until he saw Bobby open the door. "I heard about Sam and believe you need assistance."

Dean had been planning on calling Castiel but when the angel showed up he had half a mind to punch his nose clean through the back of his head, he _believed_ they needed help well thank God for that. "Ya decide that_ now_ is the golden hour to give us yer help?" Bobby quipped cantankerously with an incredulous raise of his brow.

When the man just stood there with an adamant nod Bobby sighed and allowed the angel to enter leading him to the study when Dean joined them with a tumbler glass half full of whiskey. "Can you find Sam?" Dean came right out with it and Bobby stood staring at the angel with the same question in his aged hazel-brown eyes. If there was a way they would be damn grateful to the Powers on High and take back all the shit about angels only being douches with wings.

"I can try, though with the marks embedded into his ribs it will be an uneasy trial. And Astarte as you know already will not let angels find him at all or lightly," Castiel spoke. He stood there for a moment without saying any more and when Dean and Bobby went to speak he held up his hand to hold off while he listened. His supervisor was talking and he was also trying to gain leads with the news given as well as the souls that he had interacted with personally. Coming back he nodded and met the two hunters eyes. "Found a possible direction, I will go and scout the location though it might not be accurate. In the meantime I suggest you stay here until further notice and do the duties that God has laid out before you. I do hope you'll...forgive me...for my lack of assistance in the past. Sam was not meant to be taken." With one blink he was gone.

888

**April 25th, 2009  
>2:13PM<strong>

Castiel had not returned and Dean was becoming mildly anxious to hear back from him with any news. In the meantime they were supposed to do what 'God laid out before them', God could stick it clean up his tailpipe for all Dean cared, God had abandoned his sand box ever since his dog Lucifer pissed in it. They would stop Lucifer and save the world because they had to not because of some divine decree that demanded they be obedient to their roles. So instead of sitting around with their thumbs up their asses they were hitting the books, killing the batteries on their phones and burning the candle on both ends.

Bobby was having a time of distinguishing between what was Astarte's doing versus Satan's, it was Dean that pointed out that Lucifer's handiwork was closer to that of a demon's than Astarte. When it came to the natural disasters however that's when things shifted to the grey middle, demons were just as likely to cause storms, as a Goddess would be. He wouldn't explain how he knew so much about what Astarte liked to do, not that he was asked but Bobby was giving him 'the look' and he was ignoring it dutifully. Bobby already had his theories that maybe Astarte bunked with Dean down in the Pit and he got to know what he did from the pillow talk.

888

Donnie hadn't gone upstairs at all last night unless it meant to go to the bathroom but she had remained down in the panic room where she had found some items in the drawers and all that down there. Set up herself a nice little area to think and to just immerse herself into a place that was anywhere but here. Eyes closed she had searched with her hand traveling over a map, the blood droplet rubbed on her palm and she could see the landscapes, the cars, the people, the towns...but no Sam. Inhaling she would try harder and harder and she kept being drawn to San Francisco. The feeling he got off of it she knew that Sam wasn't there and neither was Astarte but she could tell that something was pushing her to that place.

Shaking her head she let her hand touch the map fully and she hunched over. Right as her hand met the thing she jerked and felt herself traveling fast, really fast, the sound of wings, the sound of fighting, blood...then she was at the convent that was destroyed. Starry night sky, weight on her and she fought to breathe it was painful, so much pain, blood soaked shirt and she could almost feel her heart dead and no longer beating. Buried under stones and fragments. Cold, very cold and almost one of the stones herself. Zip lining back to herself, Donnie flew back into the air and hit the wall coming down and landing on her hands and knees.

She winced and rolled onto her back. Donnie didn't know what that was she just saw or experienced. Her best guess was that it was Alex she had been in, but Alex was dead which didn't make sense. When she had first gone to the convent she had wondered where Alex had been buried over and now she knew where she was. Trying to stand up the red head instead managed to crawl to the map and found it in ashes. Donnie doubted she would forget what she had seen but it made her want to find Alex, dig her out and find a way to bring her back. Sam was important to, but it was so strong. Donnie had to stay no matter her many wants and again she couldn't help but think of what Astarte had said to her that when the time came she would have to leave and Dean would be in Astarte's hands.

Leaving the ashes there she stood on shaky legs, moving to the panic room door it was time to head upstairs. Whatever was in San Francisco was going to have to be researched on a normal level and who was to say that anything was going to happen there anyways? Or had happened at least. Finally making it to the main level she worked her way into the living room where the two hunters were. Finding Dean's form she knew she couldn't tell him what she had done down there because he would have wanted to know everything and if he did who knew if it would tear him up or not? It wasn't the answers he was looking for. Sam wasn't in either place and the Alex bit would only bring heartbreak or words that said that Alex was probably all decayed by now.

Donnie had thoughts that were otherwise from what she experienced but maybe he would be right if he said that. What if she had been in the past of that? But she still knew where Alex's body lay and that was a big thing for Donnie. Maybe she could tell them that she had been trying downstairs, it would show that she wasn't just sitting around doing nothing. "I couldn't find anything," she spoke, "like I figured I would."

_I may not know Astarte the way you do Dean but I know that there is no chance in Hell that she will let us find them. I know the energy that came off of her in that dream I had...I know some things that I don't think I should know normally but might have been given to me._

"What about you? Anything?"

_Though I know the answer might already be no. Doesn't hurt to ask._

"Nothing."

Dean leaned back in the old chair and rubbed his eyes which were sore, dry and likely bloodshot from the hours of extensive toil in reading the fine print of texts and scriptures and the frustration of coming up with nothing after all that work. There was little on Astarte, she went by several other names throughout history before disappearing all together and when they stopped looking for information on her they turned to what books Bobby had on angels, reading over passages concerning Lucifer and his fall from grace. Most people knew the story, angels were the master race until God created the clay monkeys and told the angels that men were to be loved and sworn fealty to which made a lot of the angels unhappy, Lucifer just happened to be the first one to puff out his chest and say something about it.

That was the catalyst that drove Michael to cast his fellow angel into the pits of Hell to end the fight in Heaven. Still, no tell tale motives other than the general want for the destruction of mankind. When the phone rang it was Bobby who answered, standing up and walking to the kitchen as he spoke to the person on the other end.

888

Castiel had gone, he had gone to the location that he had felt the lead to. No ability to transport back to the Singer he had called. The nurse had to look up the phone number for him otherwise he would never have known off the top of his head. Beaten and bloodied, he even wore a cast on an arm he spoke into the phone. "The search did not go well..." he waited when Bobby asked what he meant. "I was attacked." More words on the other end. "I'm cut off from my abilities which is what I feared would happen when I betrayed heaven, but I am held...until appointed...at a place called the Lincoln Hospital in San Francisco." Hearing more and more he began to wonder why people called others at all when the one that was on the other end spoke more than the other person who intended the transaction of conversation in the first place. When the line went dead he looked at the phone and then looked at the nurse standing there with the chord in hand.

"Sir, you cannot be on the phone in your condition."

"It was an urgent call that I had to answer to. It could not be ignored."

The nurse didn't seem to find his reply to her liking and she took the phone from the room he was in and walked out the door leaving Castiel to wonder what his next step was. What did one do when they couldn't leave a hospital or deal with impossible healers?

888

Bobby hung up the phone and turned to face the two sitting there. "Castiel is in a hospital in San Francisco and I'm goin' to have to pick him up. From the sound of it, he won't be able to check himself out and I don't even think he knows how. Ya keep lookin' and when I get back with angel wings we'll maybe get more answers."

Donnie nodded and watched the elder leave, taking Sorcha with him. It seemed that the dog always followed the hunter when he left to go places on his own. He needed protection too and who else would be going with him? No one. She took up the whiskey bottle that Dean had been working on and took a pull before sitting down in the seat. San Francisco, which made sense on what she had felt on needing to look there. Castiel. Donnie hated how she could still see the images flash through her brain when she blinked and feel the heavy weight of concrete on her chest to the point breathing would have been impossible to do. She would always be thinking of going back to find Alex and helping her. They were helping Sam and Von but it seemed that their plans to help Alex out eventually were going to be harder and harder the more the days were passing.

The longer she was down there the more damaged she would be. Donnie didn't want to think that her friend wouldn't be salvageable day after day. Minute after minute. It was going to grow on her and then she would have to leave. She would and she didn't want to. "Dean..." she said his name in the silence as if it were threatening to be swallowed up.

_What am I going to say? I can't leave just yet and I can't tell him things that I saw and I can't go along and say everything is alright and let's get to looking for Sam and Astarte but it doesn't work that way._

Donnie shook her head and ran her hand through her hair, standing up and going for her duffel bag to head upstairs. Going up the steps she ascended to the second floor, turning down the hall and entering the bedroom she had been in when the faeries had made themselves known. Tossing her bag onto the bed, she closed her eyes where she stood and could almost see the starry sky, could almost smell Summer and then it shifted to the flower scent that she remembered when she was in that motel room with Dean, that night...another shift and she could see the hallways, vines and corpses in the asylum that had been destroyed.

_Torn between three things._

Falling to her knees at the end of the bed she rested her elbows on the mattress and felt the tears coming. When would things begin to feel like the weight wasn't on their shoulders, though Donnie felt it was more on her shoulders alone considering she was the witch, she was the one that could find a sign and that she should be trying harder to find Sam because he was her friend and to find him because Dean wanted her to. He wanted to find Sam because Sam was his little brother. Donnie needed to do so many things that it was becoming too much. Her heart throbbed when she thought about leaving Dean and she would have been lying if she said or thought that she didn't like him anymore and that they were just friends. No. She liked him and wanted to be kissed by him, feel his arms around her and just soak into him but it would never happen.

_I'm becoming a train wreck. I'm starting to think like Alex...I have to leave._

888

_'Meteorologists are saying this is the biggest storm to hit Florida in decades. Winds have already reached over three hundred kilometers an hour. A state of emergency has been declared and evacuations are in progress statewide. Authorities are advising people to pack only the essentials and leave as soon as possible before the storm system moves into the mainland.'_

Dean listened to the news program a moment longer, it had been on the past three channels he had surfed through, different news anchors, different words but same story. Florida was being ripped to shreds and if it had any chance in hell the State would be lucky enough to come out not completely swallowed by the ocean, the next channel had apparently moved on from the Florida story to report the volcano activity in the Philippines had killed hundreds and left the island uninhabitable. The update was a reminder from weeks gone by, the news anchor was relating to the viewer the strange string of natural disasters occurring around the globe and how while many scientists and supposed experts were trying to pin an explanation on the phenomena nothing could be linked for certain.

They didn't know what Dean knew but it wasn't like he could contact the news stations and tell them the Devil was on the loose trashing the planet and there was an angry Goddess stirring thing up too. In the case of them actually believing him they wouldn't know the first thing about stopping either of them, the whole thing made Dean frustrated about them not living in some alternate universe where things like that were possible. Scoffing at his own stupidity he removed himself from the couch and entered the kitchen to grab himself a beer taking a long pull until he had to come up for air. He could have finished the bottle in a couple of gulps let out a manly belch then gone for another, and really he would have when his phone rang.

Setting the bottle down he pulled the phone out of his pocket and his eyes widended in alarm at the sight of the name on the call display, there wasn't any way it could possibly be who it said it was. Dean had more than one phone and so did Sam, and Dean had kept all of their dad's cell phones in case anyone tried to contact him but two phones they never managed to get ahold of were Alex and Von's. It was Von's name on the display and it made his stomach twist into a large violent knot, swallowing hard he flipped the phone open and pressed the phone to his ear waiting...

There was silence at first then Dean swore he heard breathing on the other end, some kind of interference that sounded a lot like EMF and he couldn't tear the phone away hanging on the thought that he might hear something. Crackling, then an airy feminine breath, a soft inhale as if the voice was about to speak then the line went dead. When Dean looked up he was no longer at Bobby's house but lost in some nameless field waist deep in bodies, the sky was clouded over stormy black and lightning flashed overhead with the rumble of thunder very far away. Panic took over and his mind raced, his only option was to wade through the sea of corpses to higher ground. Dean twisted and spun around when he felt a presence behind him, but when he turned it wasn't there but behind him again, spinning back around he caught a flash of pale skin in his peripheral before it dissappeared entirely.

"Stop fucking with me," Dean growled under his breath wanting the thing to face him rather than it playing mind games and freaking him out.

Apparently it understood and out of the bodies rose the red head standing upon a small hill, she walked towards him over top of the bodies without touching them at all and Dean saw her as he remembered her from Hell, bound in leather with bind runes carved in eyes aglow with ethereal light. Dean backed away through the bodies when she reached out to him and in a blink she was clothed like Von, biker boots, ripped jeans and a pale green plaid button down shirt with a black tank top underneath. That didn't stop him from wanting to get away and when she grabbed him he struggled to fend her off, grabbing her wrists and twisting.

Breaking from her grip he sank when a firm hand grabbed his leg and started to pull him under, bracing himself against the bodies he fought against the pull, Von grabbed him again and pulled floating above the bodies with her hair flying in it's own wind she opened her mouth but no words would come out. Feeling the body crawling up behind him he jerked his head to the side to see what it was when he saw Alex, eyes dark and swirling blue-black. Her mouth cracked into a sadistic grin and the air roiled with laughter and screaming from above and below that collided in between and made the air tremble with energy. If Dean couldn't get away he was going to be pulled apart but he could hardly move trapped by the two women and the bodies swamped around him, he cried out when pain shot through his body as muscles and ligaments popped and teared.

He was losing ground as he sank deeper, Alex hugged around his waist and dragged him under while he lost sight of Von, and Dean coughed and shouted freeing an arm to reach above him to no avail. Darkness consumed his senses and all he heard was breathing, thick, heavy and hungry. Dean woke with a start sending a book flying from his lap as he sat up abruptly and looked around to make sure he was where he was. Sucking down a deep breath he swung his legs over the edge of the couch and leaned over dragging his hands through his hair and massaging the hard knots at the back of his neck.

888

**April 26th, 2009  
>12:03AM<strong>

She had gathered up her things, she had even taken a nap to suffice since she had gone downstairs to find Dean out for the count. Donnie shouldered her bags and placed them at the end of the hall just before the stairs so then she could grab them when she needed them. Or if she decided to change her mind, but she honestly didn't think she was going to be. Picking them up once more she inhaled and exhaled, descending the stairs and heading into the study she saw Dean look up at her and flick his sights to her bags. "I need to leave Dean. I've been forcing myself to stay here because of my gentle nature and wanting to make sure that everyone is picked back up on their feet...it's probably not the best time because of Sam...but...I can't stay anymore." A beat. "If we split up, we might have a better chance at covering ground for him but I need to find a way to bring Alex back along that road as well. She's my best friend Dean, I can't neglect her and keep her on the back burner."

_Another reason that you will never know is that I have to leave because Astarte is right. I can't always be there for you, at some point I have to let you go and give you up to other hands. I have to release you from my heart and hold and I can't be your friend anymore because it will continue to tear me up more inside. I thought I could handle it but I can't._

"I'll text you and call you now and then to let you know where I am and if I've found any leads in my area or your area on checking out."

_Don't cry._

Donnie could feel her eyes watering but she pushed it from falling from them she couldn't push them back entirely to not be shown in her glassy orbs. "I really hope you find Sam, Dean. I hope he's okay and that you won't suffer from this emotionally and physically like when I first met you."

_I'm glad I met you Dean Winchester, you've flipped my world around and them some but in a good way._

Donnie leaving was a long train coming Dean didn't know when that time would come but it looked like it had arrived. He wasn't surprised, still the moment left him sore and feeling abandoned, nothing different than how things normally were before Donnie showed up to get him back on his feet. There was Sam but he always had Sam that was the one good constant in his life, now he had nothing. Dean didn't show an inch and gave a nod of understanding pushing himself to his feet. "The least I can do is drop you off at a bus station, let you make your own way from there," he offered and was already grabbing his jacket and pulling it on before she could make any kind of objections. It was a long walk into town and the world was more dangerous than it ever was, he wanted to make sure she at least got to the bus station all right.

888

It might have been pretty late at night but the drive there was silent. Donnie wanted to think of many things to say to him that she was sorry she was leaving him at the worst time ever but she couldn't help it. There was a pull to have her leave. Something she needed to do. When they arrived they exited the car and she turned to face Dean. She couldn't leave without a proper goodbye. Giving a small smile of thanks she hugged him and closed her eyes into it before letting go and pulling away from him. "Thanks Dean. For everything. Keep in touch. Goodbye..." Donnie turned from him once he said his own words and she let the tears drop as she shouldered her bag and headed inside.

_'Every single day, I find it hard to say. I could be yours alone. You will see someday, that all along the way. I was yours to hold. I was yours to hold.'_

_**The END.**_

**Note:**** So obviously this is only the second installment, it was only meant to show what it did, but don't worry! There is a third installment, look out for it coming soon, called Watercolour. :) Thank you for sticking with this story line, reviewing, favoriting and alerting. It means a lot that you all like it so much. Stay tuned for more.**

**-Wynter & Tori**


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